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Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 08, 2021

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on Sep 08, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Love Guru,
My parents want me to get married.
I really like this guy in our office and I think he likes me too.
We talk a lot and I like how he thinks. I like the way he talks about his family though I have never met them.
But my parents will not agree to our marriage because he is from a different state and not our exact caste.
I don’t want to marry a complete stranger.
What do I do?
Name withheld on request

Ans:

I don’t think anybody wants to marry a total stranger!

First off, you need to tell your parents that. They cannot be forcing you to get hitched to a boy of their choice; this isn’t the Middle Ages.

And second, aren’t you jumping the gun a little about marriage to your colleague?

You’re not even in a relationship yet, even if there’s a mutual attraction. You need to see where that goes before deciding that you want to marry him.

So go ahead and dip your toes in the dating pool.

But before you do, I’d suggest you sit your parents down to have ‘the talk’. And leave the colleague out of it for now, or they will inadvertently draw the conclusion that it’s this boy who’s turned your head against an arranged match and will be prejudiced against him because of it.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 19, 2024Hindi
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My name is Anamika 27 years old from Punjab and about 17 months back i met person prakash from Bangalore age 42 through social media and initially it started as friendship and now we are loving each other a lot and we have met once and both spent considerable time together and we are ok to get married each other...problem is my family will not accept for love marriage and they are against love marrisges...i am punjabi and boy is south indian..there is 15 years age gap between us..for that reason also my family members will not accept boy...because he is 15 years elder than me...boy is already married and divorced...now i am planning to run away from home and get married with boy...as my family will not allow me to marry the person whom i love a lot...and don't want to miss thst boy...please advise what i can do in this given situation...i have brother too who is very aggressive and supporting my parents
Ans: Dear Anamika,
By running away, you are only making things more complicated for yourself.
You said: That you family WILL NOT accept this...how do you know if you still haven't asked them?
Also, let's say that they say NO...Find out what their concern is...being from the previous generation, they most likely might have an issue with him being divorced; which means you need to make an effort to make the boy and your parents meet. Let them also see what you see in him.
How easy it is to run away rather than actually facing things head on, right? Face the, fix them, work on them...then you will have a chance at more blossoming relationships. No where in your letter, I could read what the boy's opinion or reaction to the matter is. What does he feel about all this? How committed is he as you are the one planning to leave everything behind? How is his family background? These are missing gaps in your story and I urge you to look into this before taking any step. Marriage is not a movie type fairy tale; it is literally breaking into a new life and making something together as a couple. Do you two have that in you? Think...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My name is Faraha. Don't want to share my last name. I am 25 year old and working in a MNC in Bangalore. I met a guy at office who is a Hindu and we fell in love. It has been 1 years since we are into relationship, we both have agreed to become life partner and both have agreed not change religion and continue living as we are now. My parents are looking for alliance for me and they want to marry me off to a cousin working in middle East. I am not at all interested as well grew up together as a brother and sister and I have no feeling towards him. My mother tried to convenience me saying things will be better after marriage, and I dnt have courage enough to tell them about my relationship at work. I don't want to marry against my will and at the same time I don't want to break my parents heart. How do I come out of this situation? Please advice ..I have no rights to take decision on my life partner like other woman has? Why am I being published? I just want to marry the guy I love ...
Ans: Dear Faraha,

I am so sorry that you are in a situation where you feel you have no right to choose your own partner. I understand your dilemma. The only advice I can give right now is you speak to your parents about your wish not to marry the man they found for you. You can be honest and tell them your concerns. If you are not ready to disclose your relationship right now, that is okay. But the important thing is to not get forced into marrying someone you are neither attracted to nor comfortable with; you are an adult and you have every right to choose your partner. Having said that, I know how incredibly difficult it can be to convince parents. Clear and open communication is the only way. Once you can convince them to not go forward with this current alliance, you can slowly bring up the matter of your relationship. Not right away, but once things have cooled down a bit. I hope everything works out for you.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Hi mam, I am in relationship with a guy who is from different caste. It's been three years but his family is not agreeing due to family status and intercaste. My family is ready as I am the eldest daughter of my family and unturned 30 this year. I have no time but he can't marry me without his parents concent. My family is searching a boy for my marriage. I can't marry with another guy. what shall I do to marry him to convince his family or what should he do his monther is so rigid. Please ???? support us what should we do? Two lives will be spoiled bcz of this. The only problem is upper and lower caste.
Ans: Navigating a relationship where cultural norms and family expectations conflict is challenging, but it's crucial to approach it with empathy and patience.
You're deeply committed to your partner despite the pressure from his family due to caste differences. While your family supports your marriage, his family, especially his mother, is firm in their opposition. You're also facing time constraints and societal pressure, making the situation urgent and stressful.
Your partner needs to have ongoing, respectful conversations with his parents, emphasizing your love and commitment. He should explain why you are the right person for him and how you positively impact his life. Understanding and addressing their specific concerns, whether they are about societal judgment or family honor, is crucial.
Sharing personal stories and demonstrating the depth of your bond can help his parents see beyond the caste issue. Highlighting your shared values and how you both support each other can make your relationship more relatable to them.
Seek help from a trusted family member or friend who can mediate and help his parents see the relationship from a new perspective. A respected family elder who has navigated similar challenges can also be influential.
Changing deep-seated beliefs takes time. Your partner should continue to gently and persistently show his parents that his happiness lies with you. Patience will be key as they may need time to adjust to the idea
Engage with support groups or counselors experienced in intercaste relationships. They can provide valuable advice and emotional support.
Discuss potential scenarios if his parents don’t approve. Consider whether options like elopement or giving them time to come around could work for both of you. These conversations should be open and honest to ensure mutual understanding.

Throughout this process, maintain strong communication and support each other emotionally. Navigating these challenges together will strengthen your bond and help you both find a path forward that honors your relationship and family ties.

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 30, 2025

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Sir , i need financial advise I am from kashmir we are financially poor we are depends on agricultural sector but unfortunately my father dies and i became a alone man in my family. So can you tell me how. I can get out from this to become rich . I àm 18 yrs old student so i became depresed day by day for poor financial condition. And i want to become a rich so i took in 11th commerce stream that can give me a knowledge about business. So who to start from what to what. Who to raise funds to become enterpuner
Ans: You are taking the right step by studying commerce. Learning about business, finance, and entrepreneurship will help you build a strong foundation.

Focus on Education
Study commerce seriously. It will give you business knowledge.

Read books on entrepreneurship and finance. Simple books will help.

Watch free business and finance content online. Learn from successful people.

Improve your English and communication skills. This will help in business.

Develop problem-solving and decision-making skills. Entrepreneurs need these.

Identify Your Strengths
What are you good at? Find your strengths and improve them.

Are you interested in farming, business, or something else? Choose your path.

If you have skills like writing, designing, or coding, use them to earn money.

Start Small
You don’t need a big investment to start. Find low-cost business ideas.

Agriculture-based small businesses can work in Kashmir.

Consider online businesses. Dropshipping, freelancing, or digital marketing can help.

Sell handmade products, dry fruits, or traditional items online.

Start a YouTube channel or blog on a topic you love.

Teach students or provide tuition. Many students need guidance.

Raising Funds
Save a little from whatever income you get. Start small but be consistent.

Look for government schemes for young entrepreneurs. Many offer financial help.

Apply for business loans or grants from banks when you are ready.

Find local investors who may believe in your idea.

Work part-time or freelance to build savings.

Building a Mindset
Never lose hope. Struggles make you stronger.

Learn from failures. They are lessons, not losses.

Have patience. Success takes time.

Be disciplined with money. Avoid wasteful spending.

Stay around positive and hardworking people.

If you start learning and acting today, you will see changes in a few years. Keep going.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7720 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 30, 2025

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Sir , i need financial advise I am from kashmir we are financially poor we are depends on agricultural sector but unfortunately my father dies and i became a alone man in my family. So can you tell me how. I can get out from this to become rich . I àm 18 yrs old student so i became depresed day by day for poor financial condition. And i want to become a rich so i took in 11th commerce stream that can give me a knowledge about business. So who to start from what to what. Who to raise funds to become enterpuner
Ans: You are taking the right step by studying commerce. Learning about business, finance, and entrepreneurship will help you build a strong foundation.

Focus on Education
Study commerce seriously. It will give you business knowledge.

Read books on entrepreneurship and finance. Simple books will help.

Watch free business and finance content online. Learn from successful people.

Improve your English and communication skills. This will help in business.

Develop problem-solving and decision-making skills. Entrepreneurs need these.

Identify Your Strengths
What are you good at? Find your strengths and improve them.

Are you interested in farming, business, or something else? Choose your path.

If you have skills like writing, designing, or coding, use them to earn money.

Start Small
You don’t need a big investment to start. Find low-cost business ideas.

Agriculture-based small businesses can work in Kashmir.

Consider online businesses. Dropshipping, freelancing, or digital marketing can help.

Sell handmade products, dry fruits, or traditional items online.

Start a YouTube channel or blog on a topic you love.

Teach students or provide tuition. Many students need guidance.

Raising Funds
Save a little from whatever income you get. Start small but be consistent.

Look for government schemes for young entrepreneurs. Many offer financial help.

Apply for business loans or grants from banks when you are ready.

Find local investors who may believe in your idea.

Work part-time or freelance to build savings.

Building a Mindset
Never lose hope. Struggles make you stronger.

Learn from failures. They are lessons, not losses.

Have patience. Success takes time.

Be disciplined with money. Avoid wasteful spending.

Stay around positive and hardworking people.

If you start learning and acting today, you will see changes in a few years. Keep going.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7720 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2025Hindi
Which are the best mutual funds in India as of January 2025 for long term wealth generation of 1 crore and above with SIP 30000/month for 10 years. Expenses Child Education, Marriage, New Home.
Ans: You are making a great decision to invest Rs. 30,000 per month. This disciplined approach helps build significant wealth.

Your goals include child’s education, marriage, and a new home. Each goal requires a well-structured investment strategy.

You want to accumulate Rs. 1 crore or more in 10 years. Achieving this requires a balance of growth and stability.

Mutual funds are an excellent choice for long-term wealth creation. Choosing the right categories enhances returns.

Selecting the Right Mutual Fund Categories
Flexi Cap Funds
These funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. They adjust based on market opportunities.

They provide stability while capturing growth potential. A strong fund manager ensures effective allocation.

This category suits long-term wealth creation. It balances risk and returns efficiently.

Large & Mid Cap Funds
They invest in large and mid-sized companies. This provides a mix of stability and high growth.

Mid-cap exposure enhances returns over long periods. Large caps add stability during market corrections.

Ideal for goals like home purchase and child’s education. They provide strong long-term growth.

Mid Cap Funds
These funds focus on mid-sized companies with strong growth potential. They outperform large caps over long periods.

Higher volatility requires patience. Staying invested ensures significant wealth accumulation.

Best suited for long-term goals beyond 7-10 years. They add high-growth potential to the portfolio.

Balanced Advantage Funds
These funds dynamically shift between equity and debt. This reduces risk while capturing market upside.

They provide stability during market downturns. This ensures smoother investment growth.

Ideal for goals with moderate risk appetite. Suitable for child’s education and home purchase.

International Funds
Adding international exposure improves diversification. It reduces dependence on the Indian economy.

Investing in global giants enhances portfolio quality. These funds offer exposure to sectors not available in India.

A small allocation provides a balanced portfolio. Helps in hedging against local market fluctuations.

Avoiding Index Funds and Direct Funds
Index funds only follow the market. They do not generate extra returns through active management.

Actively managed funds have experienced fund managers. They help beat market returns over the long term.

Direct funds require personal management. Investing through an MFD with a CFP ensures expert guidance.

Regular plans provide better long-term outcomes. This avoids costly mistakes in fund selection.

Asset Allocation for Your Goals
Allocate across different fund categories. This balances growth, risk, and stability.

Equity exposure should be dominant. This ensures high returns over 10 years.

Debt allocation should be minimal at this stage. It can increase closer to goal timelines.

A systematic investment approach ensures disciplined wealth creation. This reduces market timing risks.

Investment Strategy for Rs. 30,000 SIP
Flexi Cap Fund – Rs. 7,500 per month

Large & Mid Cap Fund – Rs. 6,000 per month

Mid Cap Fund – Rs. 5,500 per month

Balanced Advantage Fund – Rs. 5,000 per month

International Fund – Rs. 3,000 per month

Sectoral/Thematic Fund (Optional) – Rs. 3,000 per month

Managing Risk and Returns
Long-term investing reduces volatility risks. Staying invested for 10 years ensures compounding benefits.

Periodic review helps in adjusting allocations. A CFP can guide portfolio rebalancing based on market conditions.

Diversification enhances stability. Multiple categories reduce concentration risk.

Avoid frequent changes. Switching funds often affects returns negatively.

SIP and STP for Additional Investments
If you have lump sum funds, invest via STP. This reduces market timing risks.

A systematic transfer plan moves money gradually. This captures market movements effectively.

A mix of SIP and STP ensures better entry points. This enhances long-term returns.

Tax Efficiency and Withdrawal Planning
Long-term capital gains tax applies after one year. Keeping funds for 10 years optimises tax efficiency.

Systematic withdrawal planning is important. Structured withdrawals minimise tax outgo.

Tax-saving funds can be considered for additional benefits. These provide deductions under Section 80C.

Final Insights
A well-planned SIP strategy helps achieve Rs. 1 crore and beyond.

A mix of flexi cap, mid cap, and balanced funds creates stability.

Avoiding index and direct funds improves returns. Expert guidance ensures better fund selection.

Periodic reviews and disciplined investing are key. Staying invested ensures wealth creation.

Diversification across asset classes adds protection. International exposure provides additional benefits.

Your goals are achievable with proper planning. A structured approach ensures financial success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7720 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2025Hindi
Money
Which are the best mutual funds in India as of January 2025 for long term wealth generation of 1 crore and above with SIP 30000/month for 10 years. Expenses Child Education, Marriage, New Home.
Ans: You are making a great decision to invest Rs. 30,000 per month. This disciplined approach helps build significant wealth.

Your goals include child’s education, marriage, and a new home. Each goal requires a well-structured investment strategy.

You want to accumulate Rs. 1 crore or more in 10 years. Achieving this requires a balance of growth and stability.

Mutual funds are an excellent choice for long-term wealth creation. Choosing the right categories enhances returns.

Selecting the Right Mutual Fund Categories
Flexi Cap Funds
These funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. They adjust based on market opportunities.

They provide stability while capturing growth potential. A strong fund manager ensures effective allocation.

This category suits long-term wealth creation. It balances risk and returns efficiently.

Large & Mid Cap Funds
They invest in large and mid-sized companies. This provides a mix of stability and high growth.

Mid-cap exposure enhances returns over long periods. Large caps add stability during market corrections.

Ideal for goals like home purchase and child’s education. They provide strong long-term growth.

Mid Cap Funds
These funds focus on mid-sized companies with strong growth potential. They outperform large caps over long periods.

Higher volatility requires patience. Staying invested ensures significant wealth accumulation.

Best suited for long-term goals beyond 7-10 years. They add high-growth potential to the portfolio.

Balanced Advantage Funds
These funds dynamically shift between equity and debt. This reduces risk while capturing market upside.

They provide stability during market downturns. This ensures smoother investment growth.

Ideal for goals with moderate risk appetite. Suitable for child’s education and home purchase.

International Funds
Adding international exposure improves diversification. It reduces dependence on the Indian economy.

Investing in global giants enhances portfolio quality. These funds offer exposure to sectors not available in India.

A small allocation provides a balanced portfolio. Helps in hedging against local market fluctuations.

Avoiding Index Funds and Direct Funds
Index funds only follow the market. They do not generate extra returns through active management.

Actively managed funds have experienced fund managers. They help beat market returns over the long term.

Direct funds require personal management. Investing through an MFD with a CFP ensures expert guidance.

Regular plans provide better long-term outcomes. This avoids costly mistakes in fund selection.

Asset Allocation for Your Goals
Allocate across different fund categories. This balances growth, risk, and stability.

Equity exposure should be dominant. This ensures high returns over 10 years.

Debt allocation should be minimal at this stage. It can increase closer to goal timelines.

A systematic investment approach ensures disciplined wealth creation. This reduces market timing risks.

Investment Strategy for Rs. 30,000 SIP
Flexi Cap Fund – Rs. 7,500 per month

Large & Mid Cap Fund – Rs. 6,000 per month

Mid Cap Fund – Rs. 5,500 per month

Balanced Advantage Fund – Rs. 5,000 per month

International Fund – Rs. 3,000 per month

Sectoral/Thematic Fund (Optional) – Rs. 3,000 per month

Managing Risk and Returns
Long-term investing reduces volatility risks. Staying invested for 10 years ensures compounding benefits.

Periodic review helps in adjusting allocations. A CFP can guide portfolio rebalancing based on market conditions.

Diversification enhances stability. Multiple categories reduce concentration risk.

Avoid frequent changes. Switching funds often affects returns negatively.

SIP and STP for Additional Investments
If you have lump sum funds, invest via STP. This reduces market timing risks.

A systematic transfer plan moves money gradually. This captures market movements effectively.

A mix of SIP and STP ensures better entry points. This enhances long-term returns.

Tax Efficiency and Withdrawal Planning
Long-term capital gains tax applies after one year. Keeping funds for 10 years optimises tax efficiency.

Systematic withdrawal planning is important. Structured withdrawals minimise tax outgo.

Tax-saving funds can be considered for additional benefits. These provide deductions under Section 80C.

Final Insights
A well-planned SIP strategy helps achieve Rs. 1 crore and beyond.

A mix of flexi cap, mid cap, and balanced funds creates stability.

Avoiding index and direct funds improves returns. Expert guidance ensures better fund selection.

Periodic reviews and disciplined investing are key. Staying invested ensures wealth creation.

Diversification across asset classes adds protection. International exposure provides additional benefits.

Your goals are achievable with proper planning. A structured approach ensures financial success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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