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Love vs Family: 23 YO Woman Seeking Advice on Marrying Boyfriend Despite Parental Disapproval

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hello mam... I am in a relationship with guy from last 5yers..and I want to marry him..he is a good guy .financially stable and belong to a good family...but my parents are not allowing me to marry with him...I told them please meet him and then decide but they did not listen me .. what should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Ask the 'guy' to step in and do his bit to talk to your family. If they are able to appreciate what you appreciate in him, maybe things can work.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am in a relationship from last 2 years. We are very happy together. But when my parents came to know about us they apposed it as we both belong to different castes different social backgrounds i am from a upper middle class family and he is from lower middle class family. He made his career from scratch. I Don't want to hurt my parents by going against them. They always told me how much they care for me what they have done for me and all that i will ruin there reputation by getting married to him. On the other hand i love him so much , he is a very nice person he cares for me a lot and i know i will never be happy without him. What should i do.. nowadays i Don't feel like talking to anyone and my family thinks i dont love them and i am ignoring them which is not the case i just don't feel like talking. What should i do to convince them for us...?
Ans: Navigating this situation requires sensitivity and careful communication. Start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Explain your feelings and how much this relationship means to you. Emphasize the qualities that make your partner a good match for you, such as his care and commitment.

Acknowledge their concerns and express gratitude for their care and the sacrifices they've made for you. Reassure them that your love for them hasn't changed and that you value their opinions. Try to understand their perspective and address their worries about social status and reputation.

You might also consider arranging a meeting between your parents and your partner. This can help them see his positive attributes and understand why you love him. Show them how he has built his career from scratch, demonstrating his determination and resilience.

It's important to remain patient and give your parents time to adjust to the idea. Meanwhile, continue to express your love and respect for them, reinforcing that your decision is based on your happiness and future well-being.

Balancing your love for your partner and respect for your parents is difficult, but with open communication and patience, you can work towards finding a middle ground that respects everyone's feelings.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir, I have been in relationship for 4 years, once my cousin elder caught me with my bf and told my parent. I told my parents that I wanted to get marry with him. But they denied. Due to my brother listening. Now it's been 4 years from that period. My bf is asking me for marriage. I wanted to convience my parents. But I m not able to tell them. And my Bf is less educated and I am employed graduate person. He works as a driver,but loves me a core. What shall I do to convience my parent. As Im of 25 years old and he is one year elder then me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you are in a challenging situation. If you want to convince your parents, the first thing is to acknowledge their concerns. It is normal for parents to be worried about their child's future. You mentioned your partner is comparatively less educated than you and works as a driver; while every profession is equally important and as long as he is honest and hardworking and puts food on the table, he is doing well, parents can find the financial situation a little concerning. Instead of avoiding or being defensive about these concerns, address them. Let them know how you plan on tackling these differences in your relationship. Emphasize his character, personality, and all the qualities that drew you to him. Tell them how you have been in a stable relationship for 4 years, despite all the odds. In today's day and age, that is a huge thing. Convincing them would also require you to show that you are mature enough to make this decision so have the discussion once you and your partner have a solid plan and have the nitty-gritty all sorted.

Be practical and do not expect them to be onboard immediately. They have your best interest at heart and you know that your situation isn't ideal. Give them time to come around. It might take some compromises as well.

In the end, I would also urge you to think this through before introducing the relationship to your parents. Marriage is a big decision. Ultimately, it's your happiness and life at stake. Don't rush.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Janak

Janak Patel  |62 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Money
I am 34 years old woman. Want to retire at the age of 50 years. I have 28 lacs PPF,360000 NPS, 3 mutual funds approx 60k in each. 11 lacs in PF. 2 loans - personal and car loan for 5 years. Personal loan already 1+ year gone car loan 2+ year gone.
Ans: Hi Priya,

Current Investments -
Your current investments are more (over 90%) in Debt than Equity e.g. PF (PPF+PF) = 39 lacs out total 44.4 lacs.
Debt investments like PPF/PF provide safely and security to the invested capital. But the interest rates just about help meet inflation. Growth is not achieved with these investments in the true sense.
Equity based investments like Equity Mutual Funds will provide growth in the long term (at least 5 years, and you have a good 16 years). Your current allocation is just over 6 lacs even assuming NPS as equity (check and update allocation to equity to max possible).

Loans-
Personal loans will typically have very high interest rates. This should be the first one you should try to close as early as possible. There is no point allocating any savings to investment giving less returns and paying high interest in this loan.
Car loan can continue as per schedule as its interest rate will be much less compared to Personal Loan. Unless you can prepay and close it also early, depending on your saving potential.


To retire early at age 50, you have the next 16 years to grow your corpus to a respectable amount.
I assume you are employed and contributing to PF and NPS. Hopefully you are contributing regularly to Mutual Funds also.
As income, expense and saving/investing details are unavailable I can provide some guidelines only.
Do try to maximize your monthly investment towards Equity Mutual Funds to accumulate a decent corpus for retirement.
Unless you are claiming tax benefits for PPF, consider lesser contribution to it now.
By the time you retire your Equity and Debt should be near 50% each, there by providing you safety and growth. In fact you can try to achieve higher Equity % if possible.
Overall your corpus should fetch average of over 10% returns (currently its under 8%).

Action items
1. Pay off personal loan ASAP
2. Invest maximum savings into equity mutual funds
3. Once you have done above 2, consult a CFP to help with retirement corpus - this depends on various factors, monthly expenses, life expectancy, etc.
4. Ensure you have adequate health cover. Take a topup plan with a higher coverage and lower premiums.

If you have other goals/requirements, then do discuss with CFP and arrive at a holistic plan.

Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

...Read more

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