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Love vs Family: 23 YO Woman Seeking Advice on Marrying Boyfriend Despite Parental Disapproval

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1480 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hello mam... I am in a relationship with guy from last 5yers..and I want to marry him..he is a good guy .financially stable and belong to a good family...but my parents are not allowing me to marry with him...I told them please meet him and then decide but they did not listen me .. what should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Ask the 'guy' to step in and do his bit to talk to your family. If they are able to appreciate what you appreciate in him, maybe things can work.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 03, 2024Hindi
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Hi mam i am dating my bf from 10 years. He have good job. His family also very good and well settled.i told my parents about him first they say no because of different cast. But i explain them then they are ready. So i told them to meet with bf family. But every week they give reasons and in the end they cancel to meet with my bf. And they say we will get you marry to ur bf but they doesnt want to meet him and talk to him even in once not even in call. Now i am confuse i dont know what to do. My parents are not giving me any clear answer. Everyone told me they are just buying time.
Ans: It sounds like you're in a difficult situation where your parents are expressing ambiguity despite initially agreeing to your relationship. This can be very frustrating, especially when you've invested so much time and emotion into your relationship and are ready to take the next step.
First, have a calm and honest conversation with your parents. Try to understand their concerns and reservations. Ask them directly why they are hesitant to meet your boyfriend and his family. Sometimes, parents may have unspoken worries or cultural considerations that they find difficult to articulate. By understanding their perspective, you can address specific concerns rather than general resistance.

Secondly, communicate your feelings clearly. Let your parents know how important this relationship is to you and how their lack of engagement affects you. Explain that meeting your boyfriend and his family is a crucial step in solidifying your future together. Emphasize that this meeting is not just a formality but a meaningful way to blend two families and cultures.

It might also be helpful to suggest a low-pressure, informal meeting. Sometimes the idea of a formal introduction can be intimidating for parents. Suggest meeting in a casual setting, such as a family dinner at a restaurant or a small gathering at home, which might make them more comfortable and less pressured.

If your parents continue to delay without a clear reason, you may need to make a decision based on your own values and priorities. Reflect on what you want for your future and consider if your parents' hesitation is something that can be worked through with time, or if it might require you to take a stand for your own happiness.

Lastly, seek support from trusted family members or friends who understand your situation. Sometimes, having someone else advocate for you can make a difference. They might be able to mediate the conversation and provide a perspective that resonates with your parents.

Ultimately, your happiness and the future of your relationship are paramount. While it's important to respect and consider your parents' opinions, you also need to ensure that you're making decisions that align with your own values and desires. Balance patience with assertiveness, and prioritize open, honest communication both with your parents and your boyfriend.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

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hi sir im in a relationship with a guy who i met in hyd we have been together since one year he is a hindu nd im a christian we both love eachother and wanna marry but my parents r against it bcoz he comes from a hindu family and they r forcing me to get married to a christian guy i love him i never got love from my parents when he is giving me the love i want my parents have seperated me from him im not able to understand what to do plz help
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
It’s important to start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Try to understand their concerns and share your feelings with them. Express how much this relationship means to you, focusing on the love, respect, and support you and your partner share, rather than just the religious differences.

If this approach doesn’t work, consider involving a trusted family member, friend, or community leader who might help mediate the situation. Sometimes, having an external perspective can help bridge the gap between differing viewpoints. You should also reflect on the long-term implications of your decision. Think about whether you’re ready to face the potential challenges of a mixed-religion marriage, including societal pressures and family dynamics. Having in-depth discussions with your partner about these issues is crucial to ensure you’re both on the same page.

If your parents remain opposed, you may need to consider seeking counseling or therapy. A counselor can help you process your emotions and provide strategies for dealing with family conflicts. They can also offer guidance on how to communicate more effectively with your parents. Building a support system outside of your family, whether through friends, mentors, or support groups, can also be invaluable during this time. It’s important to have people who understand and support your decisions.

Ultimately, the decision about whether to continue with your relationship despite your parents' opposition is yours. You’ll need to weigh the emotional and practical consequences, including the possibility of estrangement or ongoing family conflict. It’s vital to prioritize your happiness and well-being. If you believe that your relationship brings you genuine love and fulfillment, standing by your choice is valid. However, be prepared for the challenges that may come and have a plan in place to manage them. This is a deeply personal decision, and whatever path you choose should align with what feels right for you and your future.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7820 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2025Hindi
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Money
I am 27 years old with 2 cr corpus to invest planning to retire at the age of 35 can realistically consider??
Ans: You have built an impressive corpus of Rs 2 crore at 27. This is a great achievement.

Planning to retire at 35 is ambitious, but not impossible. It requires careful investment, expense control, and passive income generation.

Let’s evaluate if your corpus is enough for lifelong financial security.

Key Strengths in Your Plan
Strong starting corpus of Rs 2 crore at a young age.

A long investment horizon for wealth compounding.

No mention of liabilities, which keeps finances flexible.

Time to take calculated risks, as you have many earning years ahead.

Challenges to Consider
Retiring at 35 means funding expenses for 50+ years.

Inflation will significantly reduce purchasing power over time.

Medical costs will increase as you age, requiring a long-term plan.

You need passive income sources, as early retirement stops active earnings.

Investment growth must outpace withdrawals, or funds will deplete early.

Critical Factors for Early Retirement
1. Expected Monthly Expenses After Retirement
Your current expenses will rise due to inflation.

Lifestyle, travel, and healthcare costs will add to financial pressure.

Unexpected emergencies require backup funds.

You need a sustainable withdrawal plan to avoid exhausting your corpus.

2. Investment Growth vs. Inflation
A major risk is slow portfolio growth against rising expenses.

Bank FDs and conservative instruments won’t sustain early retirement.

Actively managed mutual funds provide better long-term returns.

Avoid index funds, as they lack flexibility in volatile markets.

Your portfolio should have growth and stability in the right proportion.

3. Sustainable Withdrawal Strategy
You need income-generating investments to replace active earnings.

Systematic withdrawals from mutual funds can support expenses.

A portion of funds should stay in equity for long-term growth.

Debt funds and fixed-income instruments can provide stability.

Avoid high-risk investments, as capital preservation is crucial.

Is Rs 2 Crore Enough to Retire at 35?
If your monthly expense is Rs 1 lakh, it will grow with inflation.

Your corpus should sustain withdrawals for at least 50 years.

A mix of growth and income investments will improve longevity.

A structured asset allocation plan is necessary for risk management.

Working with a Certified Financial Planner will help optimise your strategy.

Steps to Strengthen Your Retirement Plan
1. Increase Your Investments Till 35
Keep investing aggressively till retirement.

SIP contributions should increase yearly, based on income growth.

Avoid direct funds, as regular funds with CFP guidance perform better.

Diversify between equity and debt funds for stability.

2. Build Passive Income Sources
Dividend-paying funds can provide stable returns.

Rental income is unreliable due to maintenance costs and tenant risks.

A withdrawal strategy from mutual funds ensures liquidity.

A mix of growth and income funds will sustain long-term cash flow.

3. Plan for Medical and Emergency Expenses
Health insurance is important, but personal medical reserves are also needed.

Unexpected health issues can disrupt finances if not planned.

A dedicated medical fund ensures long-term security.

Finally
Rs 2 crore is a great start, but more investment is needed before retiring at 35.

You must grow your corpus aggressively over the next 8 years.

Avoid index funds and direct plans, as active management provides better results.

Create a structured withdrawal plan to avoid running out of money early.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner to build a sustainable early retirement plan.

With the right asset allocation and investment discipline, early retirement is possible.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7820 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

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Money
I am 37 years old with 75 lakhs in equity, 6 lakhs in bonds and 3 lakhs in emergency fund. I don't own a home . Living in rental house. Monthly salary is 1.5 lakhs with savings of 60k per month. Have three kids of 7 year and twins 1 years . How can I plan my financial situation.
Ans: Your financial situation is stable, and your savings rate is good. You have a strong base in equity and a small portion in bonds. Since you have three young children, long-term planning is critical. Below is a structured financial plan for you.

1. Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
Equity investments: Rs 75L

Bonds: Rs 6L

Emergency fund: Rs 3L

Monthly salary: Rs 1.5L

Monthly savings: Rs 60K

Living in a rental house

Three children: 7-year-old and 1-year-old twins

You have a good salary and savings rate. Your equity exposure is high, but bonds and emergency funds are low. You need to focus on asset allocation, risk management, and future expenses.

2. Setting Up a Strong Emergency Fund
Emergency funds should cover at least 12 months of expenses.

You currently have Rs 3L, which may not be enough.

Increase it to at least Rs 12L.

Keep it in a mix of liquid funds and bank FDs.

This will protect you from sudden financial shocks.

3. Asset Allocation for Stability
Your current portfolio is heavily tilted towards equity.

You need to balance risk by adding more bonds and fixed-income instruments.

Maintain at least 20-25% of your portfolio in debt.

Increase investments in bonds, debt funds, and other safe instruments.

This will provide stability during market downturns.

4. Future Education Expenses
Your children’s education will be a major expense.

Start a dedicated investment plan for their higher education.

Use a mix of equity mutual funds and debt funds.

Increase allocation as your income grows.

Avoid investment-linked insurance policies.

Planning now will reduce financial stress later.

5. Retirement Planning
You need a strong retirement corpus.

Continue investing in equity mutual funds for long-term growth.

Increase your SIPs every year.

Add some allocation to debt to reduce risk as you age.

Do not rely on real estate for retirement income.

Early planning will give you financial freedom.

6. Life and Health Insurance
With three children, life insurance is critical.

Get a term insurance plan with a high sum assured.

Avoid ULIPs and endowment policies.

Health insurance should cover all family members.

Get a super top-up policy for extra coverage.

Proper insurance will secure your family’s future.

7. Investing Your Monthly Savings
Rs 60K savings per month is good, but it should be structured well.

Allocate funds to equity, debt, and emergency reserves.

Increase equity investments through SIPs in actively managed funds.

Avoid index funds due to their rigid structure.

Invest in actively managed funds through a CFP-certified MFD.

A structured investment plan will maximize returns.

8. Planning for Children’s Marriage
Children’s weddings can be a large expense.

Start a dedicated investment for this goal.

Invest in balanced funds to reduce risk.

Increase allocation as the event gets closer.

Early planning will help you manage this cost easily.

9. Managing Rent vs. Buying a Home
You are currently living in a rental house.

Avoid emotional decisions when buying a home.

Consider renting if it is more cost-effective.

Focus on liquidity and flexibility.

This approach will help you maintain financial stability.

10. Tax Planning
Use tax-saving instruments efficiently.

Maximize deductions under Section 80C and 80D.

Invest in ELSS funds for tax benefits.

Avoid tax-inefficient investments like traditional insurance plans.

Proper tax planning will increase your net savings.

11. Periodic Review of Your Portfolio
Financial planning is not a one-time activity.

Review your portfolio every year.

Adjust asset allocation based on market conditions.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for better insights.

Regular review will ensure you stay on track.

Finally
Your financial journey is strong, but improvements are needed. You must balance risk and plan for future expenses. Continue disciplined investing and review your plan regularly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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