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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on May 30, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Anonymus Question by Anonymus on May 30, 2022Hindi
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Hello Love Guru.
I want to ask about my ex.
We had relationship for past two years but kind of on and off.
During initial stages we both acted immaturely and broke up but still one of us patch up.
Last time, last year in September, my ex broke up saying he doesn't like my personality and our relationship is unmotivating. Even the previous breakup was by him saying he needs time and space.
Although he had introduced me to his sister and friends, I think he is just been in relationship for TP. When he broke up last time, he got promoted at work maybe that’s why. Currently he said he has quit his job IDK reason and suddenly he realised he took wrong decisions.
I was sure I don't want to give any more chance. So I told him that introduce me to your parents as your GF, not for marriage now. He said he will try but not sure.
I have decided he is free and hence he wants relationship so not moving forward with him.
Please tell me what you think. Although, after our patch-up, I do see small efforts from his side but I was always one who was on giving end.

Ans:

Your mail is quite confusing in the sense that I don’t know whether you’re currently with him or not; you refer to him as your ex and then say that after your patch-up you’re seeing that he’s making an effort.

Anyway, whether you’re on or off at present, this guy seems rather whimsical. And yes, I think your instinct is right in that he’s at loose ends right now without a job, etc, and wants some emotional support maybe, which is why he wants to get back with you.

I’m not saying don’t give him a chance; you can, if you think he’s genuinely realised that he wants to be with you. But, yes, he should make it official.

And if I were you, I’d be sure of things before getting too involved too fast this time around.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2022

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Dear Anu, I started a relationship with this guy, who I met on a dating app like a year back. I started to like him and everything was going fine. We started talking and soon our conversations steered towards talking about our future. However, he suddenly told me out of nowhere that he is a divorcee. His marriage was called off at the altar due to dowry issues. He and his family are embroiled in a dowry case which is going on. I was shocked and wanted to know the entire truth but he never came clear about what exactly happened. He told me that he cannot think of marriage and the future and wants to keep it casual. I was heartbroken and we fought a lot after which he suddenly stopped talking. After sometime he started talking again and said that he wants me back. He always makes plans to meet in hotels and spend nights with him. I started to grow distant, stopped taking his calls and tried to push him out. I also started to look out for matches, based on my age. I am 32, but nothing is materialising there. I started missing him and recently messaged him again. I lied to him that I am getting hitched and he said ‘okay let’s meet and spend a night together.’ I really don't know. I am amused that all he is really interested in is getting into my pants all the time. I am genuinely in love with him and he says it again now also he loves me. But his thoughts and words are not in sync. I am just not able to get over him. I have been trying hard since I decided to move on. Some thing or the other brings me back to him again and again. I am becoming more lonely, depressed all the more coz the marriage thing is also not picking up and I have no one.Please help.
Ans:

Dear BG,
What does it tell you about a person when he chooses to hide the fact that he is a divorcee and that too with a reason like dowry?

Doesn’t this ring any bell for you as a sign to the fact that he possibly can never be trusted when he can’t come clean with his life story?

And now the complication of being physically involved has added a dimension that makes you want to be around him even more?

The very fact that you have written to me is because you are revaluating your thoughts about him and GOOD, you must and ask yourself:

Is he really worth my love, time and energy?

Has he done anything to earn my trust?

If it’s a big NO, you know that this guy isn’t the last man on the planet and that just because you are unable to find a suitable life partner, you need to settle for this man.

No, you don’t need to settle and pine for someone who has not bothered to take your feelings into considerations and not much of thought as to: if she finds out about my past, how will she react?

So let me be the one to tell her rather than she hear it from someone else.

Instead, he chooses to defend his decision of hiding this and to top it all stops talking to you.

Why exactly is he playing the victim when he isn’t? Because, he feels that it isn’t his problem and that it is yours and that you need to be making all the adjustments IF you want a future with him.

Did all this give you a good perspective?

Do the right thing and Love yourself. All the best.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2022

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 Hi Anu Ji,I am in a relationship with a guy from one year who is from a different state and different background. I am from north and he is from South. As of now the relationship is perfect when we both are together but I am stressed about my future as this guy had warned me that future is very difficult due to family issues and all. Our relationship also started on a very different note. We were close friends for a few years and then got close over a few incidents. I have gone out all the way to put my efforts in the relation because it looked picture perfect what I was creating. He has given me no promises of the future telling things are very different in our state. Earlier he used to ask me to be casual, but both of us know that my nature is not casual, he has apologised also feeling that he is wasting my time.He also asked if I want to look for a proper marriage partner.. all his words show this and makes me scared that in future we will be separated.On the contrary his actions are so sweet and romantic. Multiple times I thought I should think straight and leave but I guess I am too attached and so is he.My parents keep on pushing for rishtas as I am in prime age to be married, and I am only delaying this because of this guy, what should I do? Why are his actions and words not in sync. I have also informed my parents about him. If he is not willing to take it forward he should leave me and go na. Why should I initiate any breakup when I like my life with him.Help me with ways to talk sense into this guy so that he has courage to take us up at his home and family.Any guidance will be helpful. Please keep it anonymous.
Ans:

Dear SS,

When his words and actions are not in sync, what exactly are you pushing for?

Are you hoping for him to see things your way? He seems to have made it clear that he wants this to be casual.

It could be one of two things:
1. He isn’t ready for a commitment as of now
2. He isn’t ready to stir the hornet’s nest back at home and face the music

Either case, this is holding you up and your movement in life. Why do that?

Ask yourself:

  • How long do I want to wait for a strong commitment from him? After which, you most certainly must move ahead
  • Will he ever be able to convince his parents of this relationship? Now, if it’s a NO, you know what to do
  • How fair is it to keep my life on hold for him? – If it’s a NO, check what is this hold up costing you this very moment

Please have an honest discussion with him on how this is affecting you and what you exactly want.

Take a call based on his responses and his involvement in the discussion that concerns the future of your relationship.

Best wishes and take charge NOW.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

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Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times and mam Highlighting this point —-mam we had passionate romance twice but not that intensely and now I feel regret of doing so if he leaves me ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Seetha, he proposed to you. Then you got physical with him, then he conveniently said you’re better off as friends and blocked you! And then came up with this one year test nonsense! He’s taking you for a ride, and you’re falling for it; don’t be so stupid. I understand that you’re young, but you haven’t done anything wrong and there is no need to feel guilty about anything that has happened. What is important, however, is that you understand this boy is not quite as wonderful as you think he is! He’s taken advantage of you and now he’s trying to worm his way out of it. Cut him off completely, he’s no good. Focus on your studies and if you meet someone else, no harm in exploring a relationship. But this worm doesn’t deserve a minute of your time or attention.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2023

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Hi Anu, I hope you're doing well. I'm a 24 year old girl working as a software engineer. I was in love with a boy in long distance relationship and I met him only once. We both had great understanding, respect on each other. It was all good between us. On February 2023, he called me one day saying that he wants to tell his parents about our love matter. I said okay and asked him what he wanted to do if his family disagrees. He said that he'll wait until his family approves. I was okay with it and he informed to his family. But things started changing after he talked with his family. He wanted to break up with me. I told him many times that I wanted to be with him and don't want to break up. But, he didn't agree. Eventually, we stopped talking with each other. It was hard for me to move on but after few months, i finally decided to move on with my life. Then suddenly he messaged me saying that he wants to get back with me. I didn't agreed as I lost my trust on him. He even informed his family about getting back with me and they were okay with it. He wants to marry me. But, now the problem is I still like him, but I lost trust in him. I wanted to give him a chance but I'm afraid because of past break up with him. I'm confused about what should I do? Anu, can you please suggest me about giving him a chance or moving on with my life?
Ans: Dear Mahi,
Thank you for asking. I am doing well and trust that you too will be in the same space as well.
When what he has done has broken your trust, it is difficult to get it back... he has come back, but you are perhaps thinking: what if he pulls the same stunt again? And this makes you question every move of his...

If you look at it from his point of view, he possibly also loves you but his family pressures are getting to him and he can do only that much. Yes, it would have been more 'human' to talk to you about what had happened after he spoke with his family. But he chose not to and that lack of transparency is what has thrown you off...perhaps, he isn't all that mature emotionally or feels that he might lose you if he shares anything.

Whatever it is, your loss of trust on him is justified after the way he had behaved. If the two of you still want to give your relationship a chance, kindly do so...and clearly state to him that you have lost trust on him. Not only does he have explaining to do but he must reassure you that he will be honest with you in future. Also, give some time before committing to a marriage while you watch whether he has changed and he is consistent with what he has committed to changing. Only when you are sure, take a decision either way!

All the best!
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 26, 2023Hindi
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Hello My husband and I took mutual divorce before 1.5 years. this was my second marriage and I married him because he assured me that he will be a father for my toddler. after 7 years of adjustments in marriage (as he was not good as a, neither emotionally nor financially) father, he filed for divorce in just 20 days of our arguments. He raised his hand so I was upset and angry so I too signed the papers. Just after filling divorce that he started asking me to come back else he will get married. I denied to go back and he started seeing girls within a week of filling divorce. With the court procedure, he used to ask me to come back but I was heart broken bcoz he was seeing bride so I denied again. This was continued and our divorce granted. Now since six months again he started approaching me by saying that I only love you and so could not get married. for your kind information, he is very impatient and aggressive by nature. Due to his nature and behaviour I and my family decided to cut him off because it is creating stress only. but till today he is trying to contact me by one or other means. I am already very stressed and emotionally broken down because this happened to me second time. Some times I feel that I should give him one more chance but when looking to my kid, who is 12 now, I am giving up on this thought. and I am not sure whether he is doing this for feelings or just because he is not getting a woman of his choice to marry. My family members are saying that he has no feelings for me and my son but he is just calling me back for his adjustments. I don't know I should trust him or not.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What sort of a game is this? Like children fighting on one day and not speaking with one another and then making up the next day only to fight again...
Why so much of vacillation on your part? When you two separated, was it a conscious move or was it on an impulse?
Also, be very cautious as to why he is insistent on getting back with you?
Also, has he changed his ways and will he be more available to the family now? Wasn't this the reason that actually things went downhill for you?
Plus, he's looking at prospective brides...and you say that he is aggressive and impatient...

So, what is your confusion here?
What will you get by getting back with him?
What will you lose or not gain by not getting back with him?
Are you willing to make compromises to be with a person that you call aggressive?
How is this going to affect your child given that your ex-husband is not emotionally or financially stable?

Weigh it all out and then make a decision that is right by you and for you and for your child.

All the best!
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Shekhar

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Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

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Hi, i have completed my masters in food technology and want to work as freelancers as a auditor in food industry could you guide how to go about doing. Currently im working as an HSEQ in compass food services pvt limited and i want to leave because the timings are too hectic and i want to do phd in food and nutrition and simultaneously to do food auditing as a freelancer. Kindly guide me pls.
Ans: Transitioning from a full-time role to freelancing as a food industry auditor can offer flexibility and autonomy in your career. Network with professionals in the food industry, including food manufacturers, suppliers, distributors, and regulatory agencies. Attend industry conferences, seminars, and networking events to connect with potential clients and collaborators. Evaluate your qualifications, experience, and skills in food technology, quality assurance, and auditing. Identify areas where you have expertise and experience that are valuable to potential clients in the food industry. Familiarize yourself with the requirements and standards for food auditing, including regulatory requirements, industry standards (such as ISO 22000 and HACCP), and customer specifications. Understand the auditing process, documentation requirements, and audit protocols. Consider obtaining relevant certifications or training in food safety auditing, such as Certified Food Safety Auditor (CFSA), Lead Auditor Training, or other accredited programs. These credentials can enhance your credibility and qualifications as a freelancer. Determine the specific services you will offer as a food industry auditor, such as food safety audits, quality management system audits, regulatory compliance assessments, or supplier audits. Identify your target market, including food manufacturers, processors, retailers, or food service providers. Develop a professional brand identity for your freelance auditing services, including a business name, logo, website, and marketing materials. Highlight your expertise, qualifications, and unique value proposition to attract potential clients. Determine your pricing structure based on factors such as the complexity of audits, scope of services, and industry standards. Establish clear policies regarding payment terms, project timelines, and confidentiality agreements to protect both your interests and those of your clients. Promote your freelance auditing services through online channels, social media platforms, industry forums, and professional associations. Create content related to food safety, quality assurance, and auditing best practices to showcase your expertise and attract potential clients. Cultivate relationships with potential clients by offering value-added services, such as training, consulting, or ongoing support. Build trust and credibility through transparent communication, professional conduct, and delivering high-quality audit reports and recommendations. Establish systems and processes for managing your freelance business, including client communication, project management, invoicing, and record-keeping. Prioritize time management and organization to balance your freelance work with your Ph.D. studies effectively.
By following these advice and leveraging your expertise and experience in food technology and quality assurance, you can establish yourself as a successful freelance auditor in the food industry while pursuing your Ph.D. in food and nutrition. Keep learning, adapting, and refining your approach to meet the needs of your clients and achieve your professional goals.
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Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

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B.tech electrical branch se hone ke baad it sector mein switch kaise kare ya kaha se start kere
Ans: Switching to the IT sector after completing a B.Tech. in Electrical Engineering is possible with the right approach and preparation. Evaluate your skills, interests, and career goals to determine your suitability for the IT sector. Consider your strengths in problem-solving, analytical thinking, and technical knowledge, as well as any relevant experience or coursework in computer science or programming. Research different roles within the IT sector that align with your skills and interests. Common entry-level positions for individuals with a non-IT background include software developer, quality assurance analyst, business analyst, and technical support specialist. Develop or enhance your technical skills in programming languages, software development, database management, and IT infrastructure. Consider enrolling in online courses, bootcamps, or certification programs to gain proficiency in languages like Java, Python, C++, or SQL. Create a portfolio showcasing your projects, assignments, and practical experience in software development or IT-related tasks. Include any relevant coursework, internships, or personal projects that demonstrate your skills and capabilities in the IT domain. Seek opportunities to gain hands-on experience in IT-related roles through internships, part-time jobs, or freelance projects. Look for entry-level positions or internships in IT companies, startups, or tech departments within non-IT organizations. Network with professionals in the IT industry through online platforms, professional associations, or networking events. Attend job fairs, meetups, or tech conferences to connect with potential employers and learn about job opportunities in the IT sector. Customize your resume and cover letter to highlight your transferable skills, relevant coursework, and any IT-related experience or certifications. Emphasize your ability to learn quickly, adapt to new technologies, and contribute to IT projects and initiatives. Stay informed about industry trends, advancements, and emerging technologies in the IT sector. Continuously update your skills and knowledge to remain competitive in the job market. Be persistent and resilient in your job search efforts, and don't get discouraged by rejections or setbacks. Keep applying to relevant positions, networking with professionals, and honing your skills until you secure a job in the IT sector.
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Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

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I am a tyBsc zoology student, just completed all my semester exams, failed in iit jam entrance exam and had given gat b 2024 entrance exam; but due to the easy level of this year's paper.. I am expecting a high cutoff which leaves with a possibility that i won't even get admission through this entrance score I wanted to do Masters in biotechnology But i am really uncertain about my future, what should i do next, how should i plan and proceed ? If you ask about my 3 years bachelors journey then i had volunteered to work in college lab , but unfortunately it wasn't useful as i just learnt the theories here too and didn't get much practical exposure. I got first prize in science exhibition which boosted my interest in science so i applied for summer research fellowship which was available for bsc, btech,and mtech 2nd year students but failed to get a guide there too and couldn't get selected for internship, when i looked at the selected candidates list0; the spot i applied to.. was given to a btech student from iit bombay , so i thought i need more practical experience and a good college . Therefore, firstly I wrote a research article in college's first research booklet which is going to get published soon But for good college, i don't think i am going to get into one, so i am really confused right now ...what should i do ?? I want a good college so that i will get good practical research exposure to gain some research skillsets.
Ans: It's understandable to feel uncertain about your future, especially when facing setbacks in your academic and career pursuits. If you're concerned about not getting admission to a master's program in biotechnology, consider alternative paths to gain practical research experience and advance your skills. Look into certificate programs, diploma courses, or online courses in biotechnology or related fields that offer hands-on training and practical experience. Explore opportunities for research assistantships, lab technician positions, or entry-level roles in biotech companies that can provide valuable experience and exposure to research methodologies and techniques. Continue to build your academic and professional portfolio by engaging in research projects, writing research articles, and participating in scientific conferences or exhibitions. Consider submitting your research articles to scientific journals or publications to showcase your work and contribute to the academic community. Remember that setbacks are a natural part of the academic and career journey. Stay positive, resilient, and persistent in pursuing your goals, even in the face of challenges. Think about your long-term career goals and how each step you take aligns with them. Consider whether pursuing a master's degree in biotechnology is essential for achieving your career objectives or if there are alternative paths to success.

Ultimately, it's important to stay proactive, adaptable, and open-minded as you navigate your academic and career journeys. Keep exploring opportunities, gaining experience, and pursuing your passion for biotechnology, and you'll find a path that leads to success and fulfillment in the field.
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My son is doing his 2nd puc with PCMC n will be completing in 2025,, he wants to Persue engineering but confused as to which branch to choose, he is afraid to Persue software as there is recession n due to AI the jobs are less, he is thinking of aeronautical engineering, is it a right Choice?
Ans: A career in aeronautical engineering can indeed be exciting and rewarding for individuals who are passionate about aircraft, spacecraft, and aerospace technology. Aeronautical engineering is at the forefront of innovation, with opportunities to work on cutting-edge technologies, including aircraft design, propulsion systems, avionics, and space exploration. Aeronautical engineers have diverse career paths in the aerospace industry, including roles in aircraft manufacturing, defense contracting, space agencies, research institutions, and academia. There are opportunities to specialize in areas such as aerodynamics, structures, materials, propulsion, and systems integration. The aerospace industry is global, offering opportunities to work with multinational companies and collaborate on international projects. Aeronautical engineers may have the chance to travel and work in different countries, contributing to global initiatives in aviation and space exploration. In the field of aeronautical engineering, several high-paying job positions are available, especially for professionals with advanced degrees, specialized skills, and significant experience. Senior aerospace engineers lead and manage complex projects, oversee design and development processes, and provide technical expertise in areas such as aircraft systems, propulsion, structures, and aerodynamics. They may also be involved in research, testing, and certification activities. Lead aircraft design engineers are responsible for conceptualizing, designing, and developing new aircraft or modifications to existing aircraft. They lead multidisciplinary teams, manage design projects, and ensure compliance with regulatory standards and customer requirements. Flight test engineers conduct and oversee flight testing activities to evaluate aircraft performance, stability, and handling characteristics. They design test plans, analyze flight data, and collaborate with pilots, engineers, and technicians to validate aircraft designs and systems. Senior avionics engineers specialize in the design, integration, and testing of aircraft electronic systems, including navigation, communication, surveillance, and control systems. They ensure the reliability, functionality, and compliance of avionics equipment with safety and performance standards. Senior aerospace systems engineers oversee the integration and optimization of complex aerospace systems, such as aircraft platforms, spacecraft, satellites, or unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs). They coordinate system-level design, development, and testing activities to meet program objectives and customer requirements. Senior R&D engineers lead research and development projects focused on advancing aerospace technologies, materials, processes, and manufacturing techniques. They collaborate with academic institutions, government agencies, and industry partners to drive innovation and technological breakthroughs.

These jobs in aeronautical engineering require technical knowledge, leadership skills, and a track record of successful project execution. Professionals who work in the aerospace industry require professional certifications or licenses relevant to their specialization. Overall, a career in aeronautical engineering offers an exciting blend of innovation, exploration, and impact, making it a great choice for individuals who are passionate about pushing the boundaries of flight and exploring the frontiers of aerospace technology.
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Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2024Hindi
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Mai 27sal ki ak ladki hu. Mainne diploma and engineering kiya hu Instrumentation ke upar. Meri academic score 60percentage nehi hai. English mai bhi bohot weak hu. Maine 2022mai engineering complete kiya hu. Coding knowledge bhi jada nehi hai. Last year as customer support kam kiya tha. Tabiyet kharap hone ke karon job chor diya. Last 6maine se ghar pe betha hu. Bohot dhunda job nehi mila. Please mujhe thoda help karo.
Ans: It's understandable to feel uncertain and stressed during a period of unemployment, but there are steps you can take to improve your situation. Dedicate time to improving your English communication skills through self-study resources, online courses, or language apps. Practice speaking, listening, reading, and writing in English regularly to build confidence and proficiency. Customize your resume to highlight relevant skills, experiences, and achievements that align with the requirements of the positions you're applying for. Emphasize transferable skills such as problem-solving, attention to detail, and customer service experience from your previous role. Attend career fairs, industry events, and networking sessions to expand your network and connect with potential employers. Consider pursuing additional certifications, training programs, or short courses in instrumentation, customer service, or related fields to enhance your qualifications and marketability. Look for free or low-cost online resources, workshops, or webinars that offer relevant skills training and development opportunities. Explore volunteer or internship opportunities in your field of interest to gain hands-on experience, expand your network, and demonstrate your commitment to learning and growth. Volunteering can also help you develop new skills, build confidence, and make valuable connections in your industry. Stay positive and maintain a proactive mindset throughout your job search journey. Set realistic goals, stay organized, and celebrate small achievements along the way to stay motivated and focused on your career objectives.

Remember that finding a job takes time and effort, so be patient with yourself and stay committed to your job search goals. Keep refining your approach, seeking opportunities for growth and development, and maintaining a positive attitude as you navigate through this challenging period.
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Shekhar

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Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

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I am working as Branch Manager in Bank. My nature is more talkative and also due to my job many customers are meeting me. This fact increases my talkative nature and due to this though customer is satisfying my working time get reduced and I can't do my office work. Please advice about how to overcome this.
Ans: It's great that you're aware of the impact your talkative nature has on your work efficiency. Here are some strategies to help you manage your talkative tendencies while balancing customer satisfaction and your office responsibilities by establishing clear boundaries for your interactions with customers. While it's important to provide excellent customer service, set limits on the length and depth of conversations to ensure you can prioritize your office work. Allocate specific time slots during your day for customer interactions and office tasks. Use techniques like time blocking to schedule dedicated periods for meeting with customers and focusing on your administrative duties. Identify your most critical office tasks and prioritize them based on importance and urgency. Focus on completing high-priority tasks during designated office hours, and schedule customer meetings around these priorities. Delegate certain customer interactions or administrative tasks to your team members or support staff. Empower your team to handle routine inquiries or transactions, freeing up your time to focus on strategic priorities. When engaging with customers, practice active listening to understand their needs and concerns effectively. Summarize key points and address their inquiries efficiently to prevent conversations from veering off-topic. Clearly communicate your availability and office hours to customers. Set realistic expectations regarding response times for inquiries or follow-ups, and inform customers of alternative points of contact for urgent matters. Implement visual cues or signals to indicate when you're available for conversations with customers and when you need uninterrupted time for office work. For example, use a "Do Not Disturb" sign or closed office door during focused work sessions. Reflect on your communication habits and identify triggers or patterns that contribute to excessive talking. Practice self-awareness and mindfulness techniques to manage impulsivity and maintain focus during work hours.

Consider participating in workshops, seminars, or training programs focused on time management, communication skills, and customer service excellence. Develop strategies and techniques to enhance your effectiveness in managing customer interactions and office responsibilities.

By implementing these strategies and techniques, you can strike a balance between providing excellent customer service and fulfilling your office duties effectively. Remember that managing talkativeness is a skill that can be honed over time with practice, self-discipline, and a proactive approach to improving your work habits.
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Shekhar

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Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi
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I am 40 years old, working in IT industry, I lost my job since past year, I am still not able to get new job... I am faling to pay my monthly bills and EMI's Please suggest me how I can secure new job???
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Here are some steps you can take to improve your chances of securing a new job: Explore temporary or freelance opportunities to generate income while you continue searching for a permanent job. Freelancing platforms and websites offer opportunities for short-term projects in IT and related fields. Identify any skills gaps or areas for improvement that may be hindering your job search. Take online courses, workshops, or certification programs to update your skills and stay current with industry trends and technologies. Tailor your resume to highlight your most relevant skills, experiences, and achievements. Update your LinkedIn profile with a professional photo, a comprehensive work history, and relevant keywords to make it easier for recruiters to find you. Don't limit yourself to one job search method. Explore multiple channels, such as online job boards, company websites, recruitment agencies, networking events, and social media platforms. Consider reaching out to former colleagues, classmates, and professional contacts for job leads and referrals. Attend industry events, meetups, webinars, and networking groups to connect with professionals in your field. Join online communities, forums, and LinkedIn groups related to your industry or job function to expand your network and learn about job opportunities. Job searching can be challenging, especially during difficult times. Stay positive, maintain a routine, and focus on activities that boost your confidence and well-being. Set realistic goals and deadlines for your job search, and celebrate small victories along the way to stay motivated.

Remember that job searching takes time and persistence, so don't get discouraged if you don't see immediate results. Keep refining your approach, leveraging your network, and staying proactive in your job search efforts. With perseverance and determination, you'll increase your chances of securing a new job that meets your needs and goals.
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Shekhar Kumar  |105 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2024Hindi
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I passed out in 2020 and started my career as mechanical design engineer i started working for a drone startup as a product designer and now i am working as design engineer in a service based MNC, i have total 3 years of experience is it okay if i shift my role into data analytics, business analyst, operations analyst or something like that.
Ans: Transitioning from a mechanical design engineer role into fields such as data analytics, business analysis, or operations analysis is definitely possible, especially with your three years of experience and a background in engineering. As a mechanical design engineer, you likely have developed valuable skills such as problem-solving, critical thinking, attention to detail, and proficiency in technical tools and software. Evaluate how these skills can be applied to roles in data analytics, business analysis, or operations analysis. Consider acquiring additional skills and knowledge relevant to your target roles. This may include learning programming languages (e.g., Python, R, and SQL), statistical analysis tools, data visualization techniques, and business analysis frameworks. Explore online courses, certifications, or boot camps in data analytics, business analysis, or operations management to enhance your qualifications and credibility in these fields. Connect with professionals working in data analytics, business analysis, or operations roles to learn about their experiences, career paths, and skill requirements. Join industry groups, attend networking events, and participate in online communities to expand your professional network and gain insights into potential career opportunities. Update your resume and LinkedIn profile to highlight relevant skills, experiences, and achievements that demonstrate your suitability for roles in data analytics, business analysis, or operations analysis. Tailor your job search strategy to target companies, industries, or sectors that value cross-functional skills and welcome candidates from diverse backgrounds.

Overall, transitioning from a mechanical design engineer role into data analytics, business analysis, or operations analysis is feasible with the right mindset, skills, and preparation. By leveraging your existing experiences, acquiring new skills, and networking effectively, you can position yourself for success in your desired career path.
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Shekhar Kumar  |105 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi
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Hello Sir, I am 34 years old, doing job at CPP power plant of steel plant as Instrumentation Engineer. I can't find any fun doing maintenance job. So much pressure in this job.Shal I go for sales engineer or normal sales job. Will this suitable for me? I can't decide what to do? Please suggest.
Ans: It sounds like you're feeling disengaged and stressed in your current role as an instrumentation engineer at a CPP power plant. Transitioning to a sales engineer or sales role could offer a change of pace and environment, but it's important to consider whether it aligns with your interests, skills, and career goals. Deciding between a sales engineer role and a traditional sales job depends on your interests, skills, career goals, and personal preferences. Here's a comparison to help you make an informed decision. Sales engineers combine technical knowledge with sales skills to sell complex technical products or solutions. They often work closely with engineering and product teams to understand product specifications, features, and capabilities. In traditional sales roles, professionals focus on building relationships with clients, understanding their needs, and persuading them to purchase products or services. Sales engineers help customers identify their technical needs, address challenges, and find solutions that meet their requirements. They may conduct product demonstrations, provide technical support, and offer customized solutions based on client needs. Traditional sales roles may involve selling a wide range of products or services to clients across various industries. The client base may include individuals, businesses, or organizations. Sales engineers engage with clients who have a technical background, such as engineers, architects, or IT professionals. They communicate technical information effectively, answer technical questions, and build credibility by demonstrating expertise. Sales professionals typically have sales targets or quotas to meet, incentivizing performance and results-driven behavior. 

Ultimately, the "better" option depends on your interests, strengths, and career objectives. If you enjoy blending technical expertise with sales skills, solving complex problems, and working closely with clients in technical fields, a sales engineer role may be a good fit. On the other hand, if you excel at building relationships, driving sales outcomes, and thrive in a fast-paced, results-oriented environment, a traditional sales job may be more suitable. A sales engineer job is more promising considering factors such as job responsibilities, earning potential, career advancement opportunities, and personal fulfillment.
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Shekhar Kumar  |105 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 21, 2024Hindi
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I am a 40 yr old Orthodontist in government service since last more than 15 years. Since the time I joined this service I wanted to quit it since it has basically been a place not aligning with my life values. It has destroyed my clinical skill and has been basically a political playground, fake performances, below average minds. But I could not quit it due to family and financial issues. Now I have decided to finally say goodbye to it since lately it has been affecting my mental wellbeing also. I’ve been a bright student academically and quick learner also. I’m planning to move to Australia with family after clearing the stages. But I am anxious about taking this initiative at this age along with reason that I have no contact whatsoever in Australia. Australia due to the fact that it has just three time saving steps compared to other complexities in Europe and US. What do you suggest for the situation?
Ans: It sounds like you've reached a critical decision point in your career and personal life, and it's commendable that you're considering taking steps to prioritize your well-being and pursue a new path. Conduct thorough research on the immigration process, licensing requirements, and job prospects for orthodontists in Australia. Explore the Australian Dental Council's (ADC) accreditation process for internationally trained dentists and orthodontists. Familiarize yourself with the healthcare system, regulatory bodies, and professional associations relevant to your field in Australia. Although you may not have existing contacts in Australia, start building your network by reaching out to professionals in your field through online platforms, professional associations, and networking events. Consider joining forums, social media groups, or online communities for dentists and orthodontists practicing in Australia to connect with peers, ask questions, and seek advice. Seek guidance from experienced orthodontists who have successfully transitioned to practice in Australia, either through personal connections or professional networks. Consider enrolling in continuing education courses, workshops, or certification programs to enhance your skills and demonstrate your commitment to professional development. Prioritize your mental and emotional well-being during this challenging transition period. Seek support from family, friends, or mental health professionals to cope with stress, anxiety, or uncertainty associated with making significant life changes. Recognize that embarking on a new journey in a foreign country may involve obstacles and setbacks along the way. Stay resilient, adaptable, and open-minded as you navigate the complexities of immigration, licensure, job search, and cultural adjustment in Australia.

Taking the initiative to pursue a new career path and life direction in Australia requires courage, determination, and perseverance. Through planning, seeking support, and staying focused on your goals, you can overcome challenges and build a fulfilling and successful professional and personal life in your new home country.
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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