Anu Krishna |1321 Answers |Ask -Follow
Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 27, 2020
The problem is i don’t feel love towards my wife or kid.
To begin with it was an arranged marriage and I was not ready.
My family kind of emotionally forced me in to this.
After clearly explaining and telling my wife that i am not ready to be a dad she got pregnant, said NO to abortion and even involved my parents.
Everything happened too fast and I was stuck in my career. Now I have a kid and a wife that I never wanted.
There was no love to begin with and now it’s getting complicated.
Just like you had the choice of marrying this person or not.
Why exactly did you choose to be forced into it? And now that you have, don’t you think that you need to hold up your end of the bargain?
What did your wife and child have to do with it?
Also, did you tell your wife-to-be before marriage that you are marrying against your wishes?
At least, then she would have been able to have the choice of whether to go ahead with the marriage or not. If you haven’t, please know that they are not at fault for your actions.
When you say, she got pregnant, I would like you to know that it takes two people to make a baby; why do I sense that you are blaming her for all of this?
Surely, if you knew you didn’t want to be a father, you could have used protection.
It’s very easy to blame someone else for what’s not right with your life and that’s what I get a sense that you are doing. But if I were to give you the benefit of doubt, which I would…
I want you to ask yourself: Do I want to be in this marriage or not?
In either case, you have the moral responsibility to provide for your wife and child even if you DON’T love them.
Even if you don’t want to have anything to do with your wife, what wrong did your child do?
Just that he/she has been born into a home where there is so much confusion over love.
Let the child know that he/she is loved no matter what. That responsibility as parents is as much yours as it is your wife’s.
As adults, do bring this matter to the table and discuss what you want to do. Whatever you decide, keep the best interests of everyone in mind especially the child’s interests as a priority.
All the best and be happy.
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