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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |260 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 08, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi. I have a live in partner for almost 9 years now. But unfortunately he has to go for an arranged marriage this year. My heart is broken into pieces. He still want me to stay after his marriage because we both live abroad. He plan to keep his wife with his parents in India and live with me. I love him so much. I was also aware since we started our relationship that we have no future together and I agree with that. Now that the time has finally come, I’m so much in pain. I don’t know what to do. Please help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I don't think I have to tell you that what your ex-partner is planning is exceptionally wrong. Wrong to his new wife, wrong to you. The only one gaining from this situation is him. He gets to keep his parents' wishes and his own. But that is not how life works, does it? I hope you understand that accepting his proposition would make you an accomplice to this terrible plan. I hope you make the right choice and trust me, there is only one right choice here. And where there is such an easy distinction between right and wrong, there is no excuse to make the wrong choice.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |260 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
So, We are in an 7yrs relationship. We both loved each other very much. But his parents didn't approve our marriage bcz of caste issue. So he decided to gave up. But I'm not in this situation to accept this & move on. I can't move on. What can we do? What can i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am so sorry that you are going through such a tough time. It is never easy to let go of a relationship, especially a long-term one where you have emotionally invested for years. I am sure your partner put up a fight with his parents and only when he realized that it would not work out, he decided to give up. If you think about it, marrying into a family that does not accept you specifically for your caste would never be a happy experience. I understand that you want to end up with your boyfriend but sometimes we have to make tough choices in life. You don't have to move on immediately, but I would highly recommend you not to try and convince your partner. If he wants to stand up for your relationship, he will. Convincing him to do something that he isn't ready for will not fetch you the desired outcome. Things can end up getting more bitter.

I am sure you have tried communicating with him openly and told him how you are feeling and what is it that you want. Now it's time to give him some space. See what he is doing. You also have to look at it from his perspective. No matter how much he wants to, standing up to your parents is not easy.

Now you wait. See what he does next. Is he contacting you? Is he trying to continue fighting for your relationship? Every step matters. Marriage is a big deal. Don't rush into it. Seven years is nothing compared to an entire lifetime.

I truly believe you deserve better. Don't let such absurd discriminations put you down. Be patient. I'm sure it will work out in the end; one way or another.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |260 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 26 years old girl completed my studies, trying to get a job, 2 years back I fell in love online with a man of 32 years old, we have not met yet physically. He is working on a very small salary in a village i.e. his hometown. He can't get a good government job or private job now due to lack of experience and age. We love each other a lot with all our flaws. My family is strictly against it due to caste difference, low salary, he lives 1600 km away, background differences. Overall they don't trust him and our love and are emotionally blackmailing me to get married with someone they choose. And the thought alone of leaving him makes me sad
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry for the challenges you are facing. I understand how difficult it must be to leave a person you love. Having said that, I would also like to point out that living a decent life is not cheap. You are currently unemployed and your partner has a low salary; it will not be sustainable in the long run. I am not asking you to leave him and marry someone else; all I am suggesting is don't rush. Take the time to find a decent job and ask your partner to do the same. Once you think you both are earning a good amount of money, put forth the idea of your marriage again to your parents.

Now the most important thing, you have met him online and never met him in real life. Is it worth taking this kind of risk before verifying everything in person? I am sure he is genuine but there is no harm in cross-checking. And I can't really blame your parents for having their doubts. Please don't rush. One wrong decision can ruin the rest of your life. Take your time, think this through, and meet him in person, most likely in your city and in a public space. Do a thorough background check. It is easy to get fooled when you are in love.

Again, please don't rush. You have your whole life ahead of you.

Best Wishes

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

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Relationship
hello ma'am I'm 27 independent girl . i want to marry my partner but my parents not agree due to intercaste i tried to convinced my mom last three year but she not agree and last month i told my father about him. he is not agree with my whole family denied to marry him because to caste. he is independent and his family dont have any issue regarding anything.my parents are said that they will not given their permission for intercaste marriage due to what people will say.because of my family have name in society. my partner family also have name in society. my elder cousin refuse to help me. from last 3 year i was so emotionally tried and sometime i dont want to live . he love me so much i dont want to lose him or cheat him .i dont want are relationship end like that. he never ever forgive me if i leave him.he waiting for me from last 4 years and in 4 years he is loyal with me. i dont understand what to do i feel heavyheartness and low .i can't sleep and eat ,forget things easily now i am exhausted all of this.please reply me as you can with best solution .
Ans: Dear Albatross,
Inter-religion marriages are still a taboo in society; so you are dealing with what has been normalized in society.
If you looking at your parents' approval, it may never happen. So decide how you want to go about it...Of course, you can try to patiently work with your parents and your partner. Think about how to get the two of them together so that your parents get a chance to meet him and interact with him.
Still, be prepared for things not to work out, but do make that humble attempt!
Make a decision that seems the best and stick with it...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: https://www.facebook.com/anukrish07/ AND https://www.linkedin.com/in/anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 45 with 7 LPA salary. I have a purchased plot. I want to move out of my current house in 2 years. Should I build a house or purchase a flat?
Ans: Your Current Situation
At 45 years old with a salary of Rs 7 lakhs per annum, you own a plot and plan to move out of your current house in 2 years.

Key Considerations
Let's evaluate whether you should build a house or purchase a flat based on several factors.

Financial Assessment
Building a House
Pros:

Customization: You can design it according to your preferences and needs.

Potential Cost Savings: Building can be cheaper per square foot compared to buying a ready-made flat, depending on the area.

Appreciation: The value of a well-built house on your own plot may appreciate more over time.

Cons:

Time-Consuming: Construction can take a long time, potentially more than 2 years.

Management: Requires constant supervision and dealing with contractors, which can be stressful.

Initial Costs: High initial outlay for construction materials and labor.

Purchasing a Flat
Pros:

Convenience: Ready to move in, no waiting period or construction hassle.

Amenities: Flats often come with amenities like security, maintenance, gym, pool, etc.

Fixed Cost: Fixed price with no unexpected expenses compared to potential construction overruns.

Cons:

Less Customization: Limited to the builder's design and layout.

Maintenance Costs: Monthly maintenance charges can be high in some apartments.

Appreciation: Flats may appreciate less compared to individual houses on plots.

Lifestyle Considerations
Building a House
Privacy: More privacy and space compared to flats.

Expansion: Easier to expand or modify in the future as per your needs.

Community: Less communal living; more suited for those who prefer privacy.

Purchasing a Flat
Community Living: Better community interaction, good for families.

Security: Enhanced security measures compared to independent houses.

Maintenance: Professional maintenance of common areas and facilities.

Long-Term Goals
Financial Goals
Investment Potential: Consider long-term appreciation potential. A well-built house may offer better returns.

Future Expenses: Think about long-term maintenance and repair costs for both options.

Personal Goals
Retirement Plans: Consider which option suits your retirement lifestyle better. Flats often offer a more carefree lifestyle with less personal responsibility for maintenance.

Family Needs: Assess the needs of your family. Flats might be more suitable for small families or those who value community amenities.

Final Insights
Recommendation
Based on your situation, I recommend assessing the following before making a decision:

Time and Stress: If you have the time and are willing to manage construction, building a house can be rewarding. If not, purchasing a flat is convenient and less stressful.

Financial Position: Ensure you have a clear budget. Building a house can have unexpected costs. Flats have fixed pricing.

Long-Term View: Consider your long-term living and investment goals. Flats offer convenience and community, while a house offers privacy and potential higher appreciation.

Ultimately, the decision depends on your personal preferences, financial readiness, and long-term goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 40 year old. Monthly take home 4L(Standard EPF of 1800 deducted). 2 kids 8 year girl and 1 year boy. 55L in Mutual Fund 36L in PF 30L in NPS Land of current value 70L Emergency Fund 10L Health insurance 1Cr, Term Insurance 3Cr and Parental Insurance 25L 1. 56K EMI for HomeLoan (24L due) 2. 20K VPF 3. 52.5K NPS 3. 1.5L Mutual Fund 4. 40K school Fees 5. 12.5K Suknya Yojna 6. 20K debt fund 7. 60K monthly Expenses 8. 11K Gold What will be the strategy to retire in next 15 year by keeping enough money for retirement and Child Education?
Ans: Evaluating Your Current Financial Situation
You have a good income and diversified investments. Let’s analyse your current assets and liabilities to strategise for retirement and child education.

Assets Overview
Mutual Funds: Rs. 55 lakh
Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 36 lakh
National Pension System (NPS): Rs. 30 lakh
Land: Rs. 70 lakh
Emergency Fund: Rs. 10 lakh
Health Insurance: Rs. 1 crore
Term Insurance: Rs. 3 crore
Parental Insurance: Rs. 25 lakh
Liabilities Overview
Home Loan EMI: Rs. 56,000 (24 lakh due)
Monthly Expenses: Rs. 60,000
Children’s Education and Future: Significant future costs
Current Monthly Investments
Voluntary Provident Fund (VPF): Rs. 20,000
NPS: Rs. 52,500
Mutual Funds: Rs. 1,50,000
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana: Rs. 12,500
Debt Fund: Rs. 20,000
Gold: Rs. 11,000
Retirement and Child Education Strategy
Define Your Goals
Retirement in 15 Years
Children’s Education Fund
Retirement Planning
Step 1: Calculate Retirement Corpus
Estimate your retirement expenses. Factor in inflation and life expectancy. Assume Rs. 1 lakh monthly expenses at retirement. With 6% inflation, this becomes Rs. 2.4 lakh per month in 15 years.

Step 2: Increase Contributions
NPS: Continue with Rs. 52,500. This will accumulate significant corpus.
Mutual Funds: Continue Rs. 1.5 lakh. Increase by 5-10% annually to keep pace with inflation.
Step 3: Diversify Investments
Equity Exposure: Focus on equity mutual funds for growth. They offer higher returns over long-term.
Debt Exposure: Maintain a balanced portfolio. Keep investing in debt funds for stability.
Child Education Planning
Step 1: Estimate Education Costs
Education costs are rising. Assume Rs. 50 lakh for each child’s higher education.

Step 2: Dedicated Investments
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana: Continue Rs. 12,500 for your daughter.
Equity Mutual Funds: Allocate Rs. 50,000 monthly for both children’s education. Increase annually.
Managing Liabilities
Home Loan Repayment
Accelerate EMI: Pay an additional EMI yearly if possible. This reduces interest and tenure.
Prepay Loan: Use bonuses or increments to prepay the home loan. Aim to close it within 5-7 years.
Emergency Fund
Maintain Rs. 10 lakh for emergencies. Ensure it covers at least 6 months of expenses.

Insurance Coverage
You have adequate health, term, and parental insurance. Regularly review and adjust coverage if needed.

Gold Investments
Continue Rs. 11,000 in gold for diversification. It’s a good hedge against inflation.

Final Insights
To retire comfortably and fund your children's education:

Continue and increase current investments.
Focus on equity for long-term growth.
Maintain a balanced portfolio.
Prepay home loan to reduce liabilities.
Regularly review and adjust your financial plan with a Certified Financial Planner.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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