Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 21, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Ashish Question by Ashish on Apr 03, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Dear Khevna Shah I am in the business of my father's after his death with my uncle for the last 15 years and so and when my father died my age was 22 and I was a simple, shy and fear boy and was happy and i am doing the accounts job and i was not taking my salary on monthly basis or yearly basis means i want to say that i take 200 or 500 or sometimes 10000 to 20000 as per my requirement and sometimes i have to give it to my mom for her personal expenses. After two and half years, i was having problems with my uncle due to professional reasons and i was talking to him at that time and discussing all the problems and business related issues facing by me and he was listening but not responding to my problems during these years and after passing of two and half years i tried my best for talks, discussion but i was not getting any response from his end and after that period i stopped myself for any talks, discussion and sharing with him and I was prepared to left him and go elsewhere and do something new or do a job or start a new business on my own as we were are living in joint family and still we are in joint. Mam i did not left him and he provided me a new business and I became the proprietor of that new business and i didnot have any idea of that new business and when i engaged in that business i came to know that this business is all runs on liabilities for around three months to six months and depends on how you capture the market with low competitive rates and that time was new and i was not having any distributorship also and the business went on losses and i have beared losses for almost lakhs and lakhs of rupees. So, I closed the shop and again started doing account job in my father's business with my uncle as all the decisions related to business was taken by my uncle and same problem which i was facing in my early stage was repeated and the days were passing as it was passing previously. Now when corona came in the world, we were all lockdown in our homes and in that time we were all of our family members lockdown in our home. In that period we were all fighting with the corona that when will corona go and when we will go outside again and when will our normal life will start we were talking about our works of home should be divided. In that period all the works were divided and when lockdown was over and we were slowly slowly coming back to normal. Our joint family divided and now we are separate but our business is not separate and i am getting the salary fixed after our separation. Now the problem is that the salary fixed is not upto the mark and i am facing financial crisis at my end and our relation are so so and i am facing heated conversation with my wife related to money problems as i have to give her the money for household activities, personal expenses, my child school fees, admission fees and other activities related to school and i am very much exhausted with all the daily dose. So, therefore what will be my steps to go forward regarding the issues with my uncle and the problems which i am facing right now and have a peaceful time.

Ans: Dear Ashish,
Time and again you have been waiting for things to change in your favour. Your first sign was when your uncle's resistance at doing or thinking anything good for you.
Good nature of yours to trust him and still keep at it, but I guess now being in your 30s, should tell you that you need to make your life yourself and on your own terms.
Don't hang around thinking that the tides will change for you; instead change things the way you want by breaking free. Now. how you want to do it; is something that you need to discuss with your wife and decide. You have been far too dependent on this dream world that your uncle is going to make things happen and will be kind to you.
Be kind to yourself and now ask yourself:
- how can I revive my financial position on my own?
- what support do I need and from whom to achieve this?
- how can I keep myself motivated every day as I change things for the better?

The time has also come to have a clear chat with the person controlling the business. It gets messy when the family is divided and the business is still joint. Money troubles are never going to have clarity ever in this type of an arrangement. So, take matter into your own hands without fearing the outcome and think of only how you can have a better and peaceful life. The answer will be crystal clear to you.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Harsh

Harsh Bharwani  |62 Answers  |Ask -

Entrepreneurship Expert - Answered on Jul 04, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2023Hindi
Career
Dear sir i am 51 yr old ,i had a very tough life,i was bright and honest student..i got adhoc lecturer ship which i have to left as it was adhoc only i like my profession but i had to left ..than i join with help of my friend sales which i don't like but to earn i did and rose to higher management level...my married elder brother was having depression,i left the parental home to help him ,my parents were both retired govt employees getting good pension...i struggled to make both ends meet..later on my parents get medical trouble still my wife took care of them at my house.. I left the job in 2010 me and my friends who bring me job started the business but he ditched me the first day on business i take courage and continued the business... Meanwhile my parents refused yo help....after 3 yr of my business my parents come to help them as my mother has to do 3 month complete bed rest ,me and my wife helped them after that they come for 2 -3 months in a year for 5 years but after that my mother starts querlling with my wife ,i stoped their coming but told i will help them they need..i helped them during covid ,and other medical problems ,in 2021 my father passed away in i met an car accident my mother refused to give registery of copy in cour yo get bail..i stopped my all relation on this ...my daughter went to canada in sep 2021..i took 7 lacs loan and rest i paid from my savings ..this month her course was supposed to finish but what i realize that she failed in 13 exams..she told me first time than i told her to not worry i concentrate for future one but she lied and failed in other one also what she disclosed now,i have to pay further 10 lacs..my business is alo down and my son is not selected my medical field business,i have to collect aprx 40 lacs from market ,i tried hard for tie up overtake or job at this age but kot getting...it is become hard to run business with no family member in same business in future and tonpay to daughter ..i am gojng to shut it down in next month and do something else...with low cost business as i have to pay monthly salaries and rent of aprox 2.5 lac...i am in big trouble...No one to help me out..i never tried my 0mother brother sister whom i helped in their every cause...i knew they will not help as they not helped me in all my troubles...
Ans: I'm really sorry to hear about the difficult circumstances you've faced in your life. It sounds like you've gone through a lot of challenges and have been dealing with various setbacks. It's understandable that you may feel overwhelmed and frustrated at this point.
In times of hardship, it's important to remember that there is always hope and the possibility of finding solutions. Here are a few suggestions to consider:

1. Seek Professional Help: Given the complexity of your situation and the emotional toll it has taken on you, it may be beneficial to seek professional support. Consider reaching out to a counselor, therapist, or support group to help you navigate through your challenges and emotions. They can provide guidance and assist you in developing coping strategies.
2. Financial Assistance: If you're struggling with loans and financial obligations, it might be worth exploring options for financial assistance. Consult with a financial advisor or research available schemes, grants, or loans that could potentially help you manage your debts and ease the financial burden.
3. Career Transition: As you mentioned, shutting down your current business and exploring other low-cost business options might be a viable solution. Assess your skills, interests, and market demand to identify alternative business opportunities that align with your capabilities and resources. Consider seeking advice from business mentors or professionals in your desired industry to help you make informed decisions.
4. Network and Support: While it may feel like you're alone, reach out to your social network for support. Friends, acquaintances, or industry professionals might have insights, connections, or opportunities that could be beneficial. Building a support system can provide emotional support and potentially open doors for new opportunities.
5. Prioritize Self-Care: In challenging times, taking care of yourself is crucial. Make sure to prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, relaxation, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones. Maintaining your physical and mental well-being will help you navigate through difficulties with a clearer mindset.
6. Maintain Resilience: Remember that setbacks are a part of life, and resilience is key. While it may feel overwhelming now, focus on developing a positive mindset and persevering through challenges. Draw on your past experiences of overcoming adversity to fuel your resilience and determination.

Finally, know that it's never too late to make a fresh start or seek new opportunities. It may take time, effort, and a shift in mindset, but with perseverance and resilience, you can work towards a better future. Reach out for help, explore available resources, and stay determined. Wishing you strength and the best of luck as you navigate through this difficult period.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 21, 2024

Listen
Relationship
My father & uncle started business 50 yrs back. I have joined 30yrs back. I kept working from 9 am to 5 pm under Uncle. Now around 2011 ,Uncle son joined .Till then everything was alowed & fine except core part was not allowed to handle by Uncle.After 2011, slowly my cousin started taking operations of factory under him . When I protested ,Uncle used to say he will see ,but did nothing about that. AlthoughUncle is genius as well as my Father ,but my Confidence started tumbling after 2019. When his son (lets say A) made whole work force according to him & I was cornered .As challenge I in 2020 started some operations to complete production & it run well until 2022. But they (Factory staff) introduced as if I was buyer of those components. It kept on untill uncle showed the debt as in lacs for me while he getting all support for his production from Everyone &My father tensed but doesnot retaliate. What should I do?
Ans: Dear SK,
Well, you need to build your territory and being a family business, boundaries have never been clear...It seems obvious that your uncle favors his son over you and your father does not want to ruffle feathers by standing up for you...then you stand up for yourself.
What position that you have earned through your hard work must be acknowledged...if it isn't and it's going to lead to a family rift, then maybe it's time for you to build something for yourself by expanding the business within or outside. It is difficult to balance relationships within the family and at work; somewhere emotions come in the way of doing what is right and just. So, play it safe and start looking at how you can expand your work profile and enhance what you can bring to the business exclusively through your skill sets. This helps pass a message down the organization as to you being an expert in that particular area. If this fails, well...let yourself shine where you can and must...

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |19 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |19 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Listen
Career
I am engineer with 16 years of IT experience and now a break of 11 yrs. But in 11 yrs I had been taking Quantitative aptitude lectures as a visiting faculty in various engineering and MBA colleges and also done Mutual fund certification. I haven't been siting but doing many things professionally in last 11 yrs(In my subject of interest as Maths, Teaching, Finance, Accounting, Wealth Management). I was thinking of doing ESG certification. What kind of role I would get if i am CFA ESG certified.I am looking for Professionally and intellectually engaging role where I can contribute to Society. Not a very NGO type( I have tried working with few NGO's)
Ans: I won't recommend you to go for ESG certification unless you are having a background of Env. Engg and Environmental Impact Assessment. The certificate course of ESG is costly also. I would request you to open your own academy ( if off line not possible then online) and go for only one subject. Let me know your age.Focus only on one subject. You have explored many areas and now you are perplexed. Here the questions are assigned to me through rediffmail. So second time whether your question will come to me or not is not known to anyone of us. Due to the policy I can’t share my email ID and Phone Number. But I would request you to follow me in LINKEDIN and send request so that I can accept you, then through LINKEDIN I can counsel you in the future multiple times. Through LINKEDIN I will be readily and easily accessible. I have counselled and changed thousands of lives. As long as I am there I won’t allow you to be defeated. Mind that always I am there with you like an invisible shadow to show you the right career path.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x