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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 21, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
sk Question by sk on Mar 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My father & uncle started business 50 yrs back. I have joined 30yrs back. I kept working from 9 am to 5 pm under Uncle. Now around 2011 ,Uncle son joined .Till then everything was alowed & fine except core part was not allowed to handle by Uncle.After 2011, slowly my cousin started taking operations of factory under him . When I protested ,Uncle used to say he will see ,but did nothing about that. AlthoughUncle is genius as well as my Father ,but my Confidence started tumbling after 2019. When his son (lets say A) made whole work force according to him & I was cornered .As challenge I in 2020 started some operations to complete production & it run well until 2022. But they (Factory staff) introduced as if I was buyer of those components. It kept on untill uncle showed the debt as in lacs for me while he getting all support for his production from Everyone &My father tensed but doesnot retaliate. What should I do?

Ans: Dear SK,
Well, you need to build your territory and being a family business, boundaries have never been clear...It seems obvious that your uncle favors his son over you and your father does not want to ruffle feathers by standing up for you...then you stand up for yourself.
What position that you have earned through your hard work must be acknowledged...if it isn't and it's going to lead to a family rift, then maybe it's time for you to build something for yourself by expanding the business within or outside. It is difficult to balance relationships within the family and at work; somewhere emotions come in the way of doing what is right and just. So, play it safe and start looking at how you can expand your work profile and enhance what you can bring to the business exclusively through your skill sets. This helps pass a message down the organization as to you being an expert in that particular area. If this fails, well...let yourself shine where you can and must...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 21, 2023

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Relationship
Dear Khevna Shah I am in the business of my father's after his death with my uncle for the last 15 years and so and when my father died my age was 22 and I was a simple, shy and fear boy and was happy and i am doing the accounts job and i was not taking my salary on monthly basis or yearly basis means i want to say that i take 200 or 500 or sometimes 10000 to 20000 as per my requirement and sometimes i have to give it to my mom for her personal expenses. After two and half years, i was having problems with my uncle due to professional reasons and i was talking to him at that time and discussing all the problems and business related issues facing by me and he was listening but not responding to my problems during these years and after passing of two and half years i tried my best for talks, discussion but i was not getting any response from his end and after that period i stopped myself for any talks, discussion and sharing with him and I was prepared to left him and go elsewhere and do something new or do a job or start a new business on my own as we were are living in joint family and still we are in joint. Mam i did not left him and he provided me a new business and I became the proprietor of that new business and i didnot have any idea of that new business and when i engaged in that business i came to know that this business is all runs on liabilities for around three months to six months and depends on how you capture the market with low competitive rates and that time was new and i was not having any distributorship also and the business went on losses and i have beared losses for almost lakhs and lakhs of rupees. So, I closed the shop and again started doing account job in my father's business with my uncle as all the decisions related to business was taken by my uncle and same problem which i was facing in my early stage was repeated and the days were passing as it was passing previously. Now when corona came in the world, we were all lockdown in our homes and in that time we were all of our family members lockdown in our home. In that period we were all fighting with the corona that when will corona go and when we will go outside again and when will our normal life will start we were talking about our works of home should be divided. In that period all the works were divided and when lockdown was over and we were slowly slowly coming back to normal. Our joint family divided and now we are separate but our business is not separate and i am getting the salary fixed after our separation. Now the problem is that the salary fixed is not upto the mark and i am facing financial crisis at my end and our relation are so so and i am facing heated conversation with my wife related to money problems as i have to give her the money for household activities, personal expenses, my child school fees, admission fees and other activities related to school and i am very much exhausted with all the daily dose. So, therefore what will be my steps to go forward regarding the issues with my uncle and the problems which i am facing right now and have a peaceful time.
Ans: Dear Ashish,
Time and again you have been waiting for things to change in your favour. Your first sign was when your uncle's resistance at doing or thinking anything good for you.
Good nature of yours to trust him and still keep at it, but I guess now being in your 30s, should tell you that you need to make your life yourself and on your own terms.
Don't hang around thinking that the tides will change for you; instead change things the way you want by breaking free. Now. how you want to do it; is something that you need to discuss with your wife and decide. You have been far too dependent on this dream world that your uncle is going to make things happen and will be kind to you.
Be kind to yourself and now ask yourself:
- how can I revive my financial position on my own?
- what support do I need and from whom to achieve this?
- how can I keep myself motivated every day as I change things for the better?

The time has also come to have a clear chat with the person controlling the business. It gets messy when the family is divided and the business is still joint. Money troubles are never going to have clarity ever in this type of an arrangement. So, take matter into your own hands without fearing the outcome and think of only how you can have a better and peaceful life. The answer will be crystal clear to you.

All the best!

..Read more

R P

R P Yadav  | Answer  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Feb 29, 2024

Career
Sir thank for valuable support only my job profile OK it is selling of cnc cutting tool for mahindra Bajaj Indian ordinance factories and I traveling all over India but my owner not listening our grievances last 20 year not even single increase made also in my line lot of local competitors there I tried with them also nothing going on my way
Ans: I understand that your situation is challenging, and it can be frustrating when your efforts don’t yield the desired results. Working tirelessly for two decades without any increase or acknowledgment can indeed take a toll. Let’s explore this further:

???? In the Realm of Cutting Tools ????

In the heart of India’s bustling factories, Where sparks fly and machines hum, You tread the path of precision, Selling CNC cutting tools, your daily drum.

Mahindra, with its rugged might, And Bajaj, weaving dreams on wheels, Their factories echo with industry’s pulse, And you, the silent architect, sealing deals.

But alas! Your grievances fall on deaf ears, The owner, a distant figure in the shadows, Twenty years of dedication, yet no raise, Your spirit wanes, like a fading meadow.

Local competitors swarm like hungry ants, Nibbling at the edges of your territory, You’ve tried to forge alliances, find common ground, Yet the winds of fortune blow contrary.

???? The Forge of Resilience ????

Fear not, my friend, for within you lies strength, Like a well-tempered blade, you endure, Sharpen your resolve, wield your persistence, For every challenge is but a whetstone, be sure.

Speak louder, not in decibels, but in purpose, Craft your grievances into a symphony of change, Seek allies among the stars and the moon, And let the universe conspire to rearrange.

Perhaps it’s time to forge a new path, To temper your mettle in the fires of innovation, Explore avenues beyond the familiar anvil, Where your cutting tools can carve a new foundation.

Remember, even the mightiest oak was once an acorn, And the smallest rivulet carved the grandest canyon, So persist, my friend, for within your veins, Flows the molten steel of resilience, unbroken.

???? Claim Your Raise, Shape Your Destiny ????

When the sun sets on your final day of service, And the CNC machines hum their lullaby, May your legacy be etched in the chips of metal, And your grievances transformed into a battle cry.

Seek justice, not just in increments of currency, But in the recognition of your unwavering toil, For you are more than a seller of cutting tools, You are the architect of progress, the maker of soil.

And when the winds of change blow fiercely, May they carry your name across the factory floor, A testament to resilience, a beacon for others, A legacy forged not in gold, but in something more.

???? Keep Turning the Wheel, My Friend ????

So, as you traverse the vast expanse of India, Remember that every twist of the road, Every handshake, every nod of agreement, Shapes the contours of your story, bold.

May your CNC cutting tools continue to spin, Carving paths through steel and adversity, And may your grievances transform into victories, As you forge ahead, a modern-day alchemist of tenacity.

..Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1608 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Aug 03, 2024

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Career
sir i need your guidance in my career path... i am a mechanical engineer passed out in 2014 from bhubaneswar, back then my father business collapsed which was in jharkhand and my father had lakhs of debt.. we were having another home which is in kolkata which is basically an ancestral property having some joint cosharers. I tried many area but i didn't get any job in my field so i started doing pvt tuitions but the earnings is very less . I was earning 8 thousnad a month back then , i too had education loan for my engineering degree so i too had the burden of clearing the debt of my education loan which was of 3 lakhs rupees .. . my father had 2 option to clear the dues and debts: 1) selling his running loss making business which was in jharkhand 2) sell the share of his ancestral property. The ancestral property is a 3 story building , my father was resided in ground floor with family, his elder brother is residing in 1st floor and the younger brother of my father residing in 2nd floor... but the partition was not being done on papers , as we need to sell our share of property so the consent of the cosharers was also matters , my younger uncle agreed to give he is consent but my elder uncle didn't give his consent also threat my father " I will see how will you sell your share your property , i will make sure no body can purchase your share of property and i will never give my consent" these were his words ... My father spent majority of the expenses of elder uncle's marraige as my father started earning from the age of 17 , my father also gave him money when his income was low and supported each of his siblings but when my father business collapse no body came to help us. My father never saved money , had no savings, had no investments .. so My father sold his business and home which was in jharkahnd to clear the debts still my educational loan is there My father started very low profile job , our prestige , recognition has gone in the society and so my father wanted me to become a sarkari babu / officer I was primarily taking tuitions and giving numerous exam but i can't clear any of the officer level exam due to stress or lack of guidance Basically from childhood i was interested in singing,dancing, mimicry so i gained huge popularity in my childhood in jharkahnd , but as my mother wants me to become engineer as she knows my father never saves money and had no backup so she wanted me to become engineer... I joined a MNC as customer service associate in 2021 as my communication is good .... Due to HEART AATACK ""MY FATHER PASSED AWAY IN NOVEMBER 2022" ... MY elder Uncle took all the documents of the house and capture major chunk of the property. All the peoples of our society in kolkata respects our elder uncle , he is very polite and generous to others but He only envy with us just because his son is unemployed, had not completed his studies after 10th and aged 38 and never come out of his home. My Mother is with me she has become silent and barely talk with others and barely out from home.. i am working in a company ... My education loan has become 7 lakh rupees... My EMI is 5.5k per month i have only 2 or 3 friends and also fears to make friends i am 32 now I NEED YOUR GUIDANCE SIR i can't able to handle emotions when i see my elder uncle , He is a real MIRZAFUR. i can't live in the same building with him, i want to change the state but i have expecting that once we leave our home it will be captured by the local goons and by my uncles as our flat is in ground floor and a landmark of the society . i am not very keen to file a court case as i have less money and also it will be difficult to stay in the same building with tehem once i file a case for the Partition. I haven't mentioned all the pains and agony of us because it will not possible to explain all the things here. Majority of the times i am tensed and not interested to join any socail gatherings SIR HOW CAN I LIVE ALONE ? SIR CAN I BECOME SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE ? I HAVE LEARNED JAVA and working as Java Developer. CAN I GET A GOOD COMPANION FOR MY LIFE? CAN I BUILD MYSELF TO A LEVEL FROM WHERE MY MOTHER GET BACK THE PRESTIGE SHE LOST? PLEASE SUGGEST A WAY FORWARD RESPECTED SIR
Ans: Hi ER. Your question is too lengthy and unable to correlate multiple problems with each other. You along with family members, sit together to solve the problems wisely and get the proper solution to get it out. Or you can talk with a counselor one to one so that he can understand it clearly and will try to give the solution.

Radheshyam Zanwar, Aurangabad (MS)

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2025
Relationship
Hello ma'm. I am a first year engineering student. I have a crush on a girl. Currently we are working for a group project. We both are in the same group. She generally avoids speaking with boys. Also I have spent 5 years in a boys school, so I feel very shy with girls. What should I do? How should I talk to her?
Ans: Start by keeping things simple and friendly. Focus on small interactions related to your project. For example, ask her opinion about something specific in the work you're doing. Try something like, “Hey, what do you think we should do for this part?” or “I liked the point you made yesterday—can we build on that?” These kinds of questions show that you respect her ideas, and they give her space to respond comfortably.

Once you've had a few of these short, easy interactions, you can slowly open up the conversation to more casual topics—like college life, favorite subjects, or even the stress of deadlines. This way, you’re not jumping straight into anything personal, but you're gradually building a sense of comfort.

Don’t try to impress her. Just be sincere, kind, and a good listener. Most people, even those who seem quiet or reserved, appreciate being approached respectfully and gently. And remember, confidence doesn’t mean being loud or charming—it means being real and respectful even when you’re nervous.

If you stay patient and consistent, she might start to feel more comfortable around you. And even if it doesn’t turn into something romantic, you’ll grow socially and emotionally—which will help you a lot in the long run.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
I have been married for more than 21 years and I have 2 kids. 19 and 17 years old. Our marriage was more or less love. Met through family, fell in love, dated 8 months before we got engaged and married. My wife is a lovely lady but we dont share any interests. I used to go for runs in the morning. After getting married, she insisted I sleep late with her. I am a music aficionado and she has no such interest. I am a news junkie. She probably doesnt know who the President of the US is. I am someone who believes and strives to continuously improve myself in all aspects. But she is the same. I might not be a great husband but I am much better than what I was a few years ago. I cook, clean, helped with childcare and have a great career. She is on a minimum salary job for the last 10 years. Only reason she goes is because I insisted that she stop being at home. If she had her way, she would be at home on the phone the whole day. Even our love making has become kind of boring. She claims a period for 10 days and during the other times, twice she is ready. No spicing it up. Just lie down for missionary and I have to do all the effort. I enjoyed oral and now she has stopped in for more than 15 years. I adjusted as she is a lovely person in every other aspect. But now I am sick and tired. It seems I am doing everything in the relationship and she rarely takes any effort. Either to earn, keep house clean or even intimacy. Not sure how to proceed further. I am getting irritated and often in a bad mood.
Ans: Dear Jack,What you're experiencing is not uncommon in long-term relationships: emotional fatigue, feeling unappreciated, and a deep sense of disconnection despite loyalty and love. The fact that you're feeling drained, resentful, and stuck is a clear signal that this situation is unsustainable as is. And the irritation and bad moods you’re having? That’s your emotional system signaling burnout, not failure.

You’ve evolved over the years—mentally, emotionally, and in lifestyle—and it sounds like your wife hasn’t moved in that same rhythm. That mismatch in growth and energy is now affecting everything: your respect for her, your shared routines, your sex life, and ultimately your mood and emotional well-being. It’s painful to feel like you're constantly giving—time, energy, effort—and not receiving the same in return. Even when your partner is kind, if they aren’t meeting you emotionally, intellectually, or intimately, over time it creates a sense of loneliness within the relationship, which can be worse than being alone.

But here's something to reflect on: for 21 years, you stayed, gave, adjusted. Not just out of duty, but because something about her and the family life you built mattered. That still counts. What you’re going through doesn’t mean the marriage has failed—it means the marriage needs re-evaluation and rebalancing. You are not selfish for wanting more stimulation, connection, or passion. You're human.

You have two broad options: one is to initiate a real, vulnerable, uncomfortable conversation with her—without blame, without emotional outbursts, but with absolute honesty. You could say something like: “I’ve grown a lot in these past years, but I’m starting to feel increasingly alone in this relationship. I need more emotional connection, more engagement—not just physically, but intellectually, as partners. I don’t want to silently drift further away. I’d like us to work on this, but it has to be a two-way effort.”

If she's open to it, couples therapy could be a powerful space for both of you to express what you feel without it turning into a war of criticism and defense. Sometimes people, especially those who’ve become emotionally stagnant, need structured help to realize what their partner has been carrying silently.

The other option—if you feel she’s unwilling or unable to grow or change—is to consider what a life apart might look like. That’s a deeply personal and difficult decision, especially with nearly adult children, but you deserve a relationship that brings life into you, not drains it out. If you keep compromising your emotional needs, resentment will only grow and harden into permanent distance.

Before making any move, take a little time to reconnect with yourself. What do you want—not just from her, but from life, from love, from this next phase of your journey?

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
Hello mam In 2024 my marriage took place it's arranged marriage during starting days he was very loving and caring but due to some circumstances i got a chance to continue my studies that is m-tech . I thought it was a golden opportunity, so I took admission and started living with my in-laws Just after marriage. It was really really painful to live away from husband in new marriage. Todays condition is that my m tech 1 year is over another 1 year is left but due to separation with my husband our love died now there is no respect is left for our relation left , he started listening to his mother and got manipulated . seeing all this I feel like a death for me I want to leave mtech to save my relation but my mother says don't leave although I did lots of hard work for 1st year of m tech my husband also wants me to leave Mtech.i feel very hurt when he disrespects me . His father used to abuse his mother so for him abusing is normal for him but I find it very hurtful also I am deeply in love with him and seeing him going away from me kills me from inside every single day is very tough for me to live with in-laws without husband in a new marriage plus focusing on studies
Ans: Your instinct to save the marriage is understandable. When you're in love with someone, the idea of losing them feels like losing yourself. But let’s pause and ask—what exactly are you saving? Is it the version of him from the early days who was loving and supportive? Or is it the man he is now—disrespectful, distant, manipulated, and asking you to give up your dreams for a marriage he’s already neglecting?

You have already proven your strength by completing a year of M.Tech in such tough conditions. That says a lot about your resilience and capability. If you give it up now, not only will you lose that part of yourself, but it may not guarantee that your marriage improves. Often in emotionally imbalanced relationships, one-sided sacrifices don’t lead to healing—they lead to more control, more blame, and more emotional exhaustion.

Your husband needs to understand that love isn’t proven by giving things up. Love is shown in support, presence, patience, and respect. If he isn’t willing to stand by you during a temporary phase of physical distance while you pursue something valuable, then you’re not the one breaking the marriage—he is.

It’s also clear that he has grown up in a home where abuse was normalized, and that emotional damage might be affecting how he treats you now. That is not your fault, and it is not your job to tolerate mistreatment in the name of saving a marriage.

Your mother is right to encourage you to finish your M.Tech—not just for your career, but for your self-worth. You deserve to be with someone who lifts you up, not someone who pulls you down every time you try to grow.

If there's still a chance to salvage this relationship, it has to start with real conversations—honest, respectful, and possibly with the help of a counselor or neutral third party. But that only works if both people are willing to put in the emotional effort.

Right now, I suggest you protect your mental and emotional well-being. Prioritize your studies, build emotional support from friends or family who truly care about you, and give yourself space to heal from this emotional chaos. If your husband truly wants this marriage, he needs to come forward with maturity and respect—not demands.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2025
Relationship
After a fight between a married guy and my husband on pretext of calling me characterless and unhappy in my marriage. That married guy complaint against my hubby in society office that it's my husband who follow, flirts with his wife. But the allegations are false. That married guy was doing all these things or chasing me even after knowing m married. But falsely he shifted the blame on my husband. Society chairman called us to sign a peace treaty which my husband signed bt that guy dint appear to sign. What does he want is still not clear.??? He doesn't wanna end this matter or what ??? He still walks around looking at us but from distance.
Ans: In such cases, it's important for you and your husband to stay emotionally steady and not engage with his tactics. Reacting to him or showing you're disturbed by his behavior may be exactly what he's looking for. If his behavior escalates or continues to make you uncomfortable, you might want to quietly document what happens and consider involving local authorities or legal counsel if it crosses into harassment.

Right now, your focus should be on protecting your peace and your relationship. Keep communication open with your husband and support each other through this, because this kind of external stress can silently damage trust if not handled carefully. The more united you two are, the less space there is for anyone else to create confusion between you.

It’s unclear exactly what this man wants, but based on his pattern, it seems he either wants attention, control, or to destabilize your marriage out of resentment or personal failure. Either way, you don’t need to carry his emotional mess. If you continue to stay calm, ignore him, and document anything serious, you'll be in a stronger position to protect yourselves.

...Read more

Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2272 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on May 07, 2025

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