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Anu Krishna  |1755 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 19, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
VS Question by VS on Oct 19, 2022Hindi
Relationship

 Hello mam,
(I want to remain anonymous )
I want to ask regarding my relationship with my husband.
We got married in 2013 and after a month and so...
He started saying I shouldn't mingle with Muslim friends who were my colleagues in my office. I told him they are good people and we've never had such kind of differences. But he got angry and from here one by one he started picking fights for each and everything.
Since we are newly weds, I asked if we can explore new nearby(one day trip)places during the weekend, which he didn't do.
My parents lived nearby and since we used to stay at home they'd call us on weekends for lunch or dinner. He started fighting for that also.
He also started body shaming me saying I have gained weight (and everyone in his home are commenting about my weight). I had only gained 3 kgs after my marriage.
He said I have relationships with colleagues even after my engagement, which was not the case. Later he said I shouldn't go out for lunch meetings arranged by the company for the whole team. He said I'm wasting time in the company and there is no bright future.
I tried to find a job outside but I couldn't cope up with the demeaning and exhausting behaviour in the house and non-stop workload in the office.
I agree I was a bit lazy to find a new job but I couldn't do it. In 2015 I left the job and was jobless for 2 months (this happened drastically after a big fight in his hometown that too for trivial reasons). During these two months he made my life a living hell.
He would fight for the smallest of things. I had to take care of the house, his younger brother and sister.
There were times when we fought because I took care more of his siblings and not him (I used to wonder why he is being hostile when taking care of his family).

In 2016 we started our family planning and by God's grace we had baby in 2017.
Even when I was pregnant he used to pressurize me to ask my mom to come and take care of me but my mom used to work in a different city and I was thoroughly taken care by my granny and my father. He had problems with that as well.

When he started fighting for this matter, I asked him to bring his mother (I knew it was not possible because it's difficult to leave the home and come take care of me) but he kept on saying weird things and insulting my mother saying she is dominating, irresponsible.
After having the baby he left me in his hometown for 1 whole year saying that till I prepare myself for the interview and find a new job he will not live with me.
I kept begging him, fought with him and even tried to commit suicide because I didn't want to live there anymore after 8 months.
I just wanted to come back and have my family which he denied saying he has financial problems.
Ultimately I had to pressurise my parents to intervene and take me and my child to their home.
Whenever he felt like seeing his daughter he used to come. Otherwise he totally ignored us.
My parents and I begged him to come home and stay but he refused (we had a tight financial situation so we couldn't afford a house).

My father arranged a small home without any amenities to keep his house's unwanted things.
My husband said he will stay there and not in my parents’ house for which I objected. Yet he stayed there for almost 6 months.
Later I found a job and moved to a new house.
When the pandemic hit I lost my beloved father and my job. I could have saved him but my husband did not allow me to go to my parents place even after explaining to him the situation that my parents are facing. My father did not die of Covid but due to medical negligence. He wanted me to cook and take care of his family in his hometown.
He suggested my mother and brother to take leave of two months and sort out all the legal activities which they couldn't.
My brother had to leave for his job overseas and mother back to her job. She used to come every three weeks and ask for my help to get things done. He got angry for that and kept on blaming me that I only take care of my family and not him.

After my father's death he started insulting my mother. He even made his father to call my mom and talk cheap with her and my brother.
Fast forward to now, we have been fighting non-stop and every week there will be a fight, name calling, vulgar words exchanged. He stops talking to me for months together and there has hardly been any physical or emotional intimacy.
Even after I confess, cajole and plead with him to sort out our family, he agrees momentarily and again within a week there will be a new topic to fight on in such a way it goes to extremes.
This roller coaster ride -- the fights in our relationship -- has affected my child immensely and sometimes for the sake of the child we plan not to divorce each other. But I'm guilty that I'm not providing my child a healthy environment. That I'm not a good wife. I'm confused whether I should continue in this relationship or quit it for the betterment of the three of us because I cannot take this emotional abuse and have my child watching me cry non-stop.
Please guide me if my husband will change in future. Should I try counselling or do I divorce him? Because whenever I keep my hopes positive, he goes back to his old ways.

Ans:

Dear VS,

You are married to a man who gets his self-esteem and validation by showing you in poor light, exercises control by telling you who your professional/social circle should be, makes you weak by detaching you from your parents and those who are your support system.

Does this put things into perspective for you as to where you are in within your marriage?

Once you fulfil the above, he might be willing to somewhat accept you, but there will be constant new demands to keep his self-esteem high. It’s all about him, him, and him.

Does he need to visit a professional who can guide him to a better way of thinking? Yes, but that will happen only when he acknowledges his false sense of existence and flushed ego.

If that is possible, do visit a professional who can help him ably and then he might be able to see the marriage in a new light and his contribution towards it.

Till then, this seems to be a battle with a child who is adamant about getting one candy and then another and yet another and then crying out loud when denied.

The child is absolutely growing up in an emotionally challenging environment and this will obviously affect his growth, both physically and emotionally.

I am glad you have been thinking about what to do and now you know what an absolute must-have for the marriage is, to continue.

He must change the way he thinks and acts and treats you like his partner and not someone who was married to him for his sense of validation and self-esteem.

Be wise, watch and decide!

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1755 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Relationship
I want to keep it anonymous.I am a 30 years old independent woman married for 5 months only.My husband and I were in same college but were not friends.He had been approaching me for getting married since 2017, but every time I had rejected his proposal, later in February, 2021 I talked to him openly and mentioned my inability to conceive if we get married.To which his response was that he really liked me and is ready to accept me with my inability.I made our families met and we got engaged.During the one year of courtship period, initial 4-5 months were peaceful, but he and I were missing a bond, yet we thought may be with time we will find it.After the initial phase as we started meeting for family functions.He started finding flaws in me. Things like, I stare at other men when I go out, I don’t give him priority, why do I talk to any male friend beyond necessity, why do I praise my senior at office parties etc.He started controlling me in these areas and used to get angry if I talk to my siblings late night.I started feeling trapped and suffocated, and always under the fear that any of my action could make my husband angry.In that anger he seemed like a very different person, someone aggressive.We started fighting, arguing over petty things.He wanted me to change but I was reluctant as those were very normal things for me and I started telling him that this relationship is not working.We are two persons with different mindset and ideologies and since we are unable to reach to a solution over any issue, let’s call it off.I tried to call this wedding off for like 6 times, but he never agreed to this stating that he loves me and he will change his attitude and will not stop me from doing anything.Whenever I tried to break up with him he'd start crying, stating things like you are my only happiness in life, and I would die without you and all.I involved my family into the matter and shared things with them.They used to call my husband to make him understand my expectations from him.In front of them my husband used to admit that he would change his behaviour.He used to stay calm for 5-6 days and then continue with the same attitude.Basically, it was an on and off behaviour from his side and because of that my behaviour was also affected.I was trying to see his positive side as he had accepted me with my inability, so he must be a good person.Somehow, after so many issues, we got married.After marriage, we went for honeymoon, but he showed a different attitude.He started insulting me that I stare at other people, including the waiter.He would fight with me aggressively, and when I cry he'd calm me down stating that this fight is my fault; had I not done this he would not have fought; had I obeyed him he would not have gotten angry. Then he used to make love to me.For 4 days this happened continuously.On the 4th day I told him I cannot stand him and bear his mind numbing torture.If he sees so many flaws in my character we must part our ways, and there is not point of staying together.He agreed but later he started apologising, asking for another chance to this marriage. I agreed.But his behaviour didn’t improve much. We used to live with his parents, he started taking active participation in local politics which used to keep him busy.He started controlling me indirectly for visiting my moms and relatives.He'd taunt me for not sharing my salary with his parents.Later I found out his work is not running smooth and he is not making enough.The issue of staring at men and shaking hands with men while greeting congratulations, was also an issue to him.He'd remain normal as long as I did things as per his wish.If I said or did anything opposite, he'd get aggressive and disrespectful towards me.Love was nowhere around. He never said I am a good looking woman. My husband rarely complimented me though I get many whenever I go out.He seemed not to be bothered about me except for the time I do something he doesn’t like.My mom also supported him. His behaviour started taking a toll on my mental condition and I started feeling uncomfortable around him.I stopped being physical as I was feeling emotionally detached.The fights had broken me, my bare minimum expectations were not fulfilled.My husband also broke relations with my family and was disrespectful to them.Initially he had promised that I will be free to visit my mom whenever I want and he will not seek my salary ever or doubt my character, but nothing turned to be true.After 4 months of torture, I came to my mom's place and told my husband that I cannot live with him.I actually feel much better without him. As soon as he knew that I am leaving him he has surrendered and is admitting that he made mistakes and doesn’t want to lose me.He says I am his only hope in life and he loves me a lot and can’t live without me.He does the same emotional drama every time I try to part ways with him.My family is pressurising me to give him another chance. But my trust is shattered beyond repair.He made my cry, he pushed me into depression.I do not respect him. He accepted me with my inability, but I feel he never liked the real me.He is not ready to admit this fact that we have not been good for each other.To me he seems like a male chauvinist, a dominating and controlling person.He stays grumpy most of the time, behaves well with others but is arrogant with family members.What do I do? I am in utter confusion, I am unable to force myself into a love-less marriage and my family and husband doesn’t understand it.(I am a government officer and my husband runs a small business)
Ans:

Dear MK,

This is a classic case of crying out, blaming the spouse for the crying and sending her on a guilt trip, promising to do better, not following through and when she walks out, crying out again.

It's cyclical and traps you within in the loop.

He really needs to work out his stuff with a professional, else this is going to be something that you have to deal with repeatedly.

To not be able to take responsibility for his actions, shifting blame onto you, acting insecure and preventing you from leading your life the way that you are used to -- like talking to your family and friends -- are all red flags.

Step up, take charge and suggest that he goes to a professional if he wants the marriage to work.

If he doesn’t and continues the same way, you know what you must do to secure yourself and your life.

All the best!

    ..Read more

    Anu

    Anu Krishna  |1755 Answers  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 19, 2024

    Asked by Anonymous - Aug 15, 2024Hindi
    Listen
    Relationship
    I am a 36-year-old woman who deeply valued the sanctity of marriage. I chose my husband carefully, valuing his polite nature, strong character, and religious values over material wealth, believing I had found a partner who aligned with my values.However, shortly after the marriage, I noticed red flags. His family seemed overly focused on my financial status, I overlooked all the taunts , disrespect everything initially, believing that as long as my husband was good to me, I could adjust. I treated his family as my own, I always buys them thoughtful gifts but that were never acknowledged or appreciated, even though my husband has never bought me any gifts to date. Despite this, I felt undeserving of their negativity.A few weeks into the marriage, I realized that my husband’s interest was also more about my financial contributions than love. He avoided responsibility and showed little concern for our future. Although he presents himself as a man of strong religious values, these values disappear when financial and cultural issues arise. He treats me like an outsider, and our relationship feels more like that of roommates.When I began to take a stand, things worsened. He failed to validate my emotions, frequently starting arguments and using hurtful language. He turns into something else during arguments, which scares me. Most of the time he treats me poorly, I even had to beg for his time . He also shares our private matters with his family, creating tension and emboldening their disrespect. Despite my efforts to bridge the gap, he remained silent when his mother disrespected me infrontof him, failing to defend me.My growing insecurity about losing my job, which is crucial for financial stability, has driven me to focus more on my career, even though I once prioritized family over everything.After almost 3 years of trying, I find myself in a situation I never imagined. The love and respect I hoped for are absent, and separation, once unthinkable, now seems possible. One part of me has accepted remaining alone forever rather than compromising my values or having children with such a man, while another part still hopes he might change if he starts loving me truly, despite doubts he will ever stand up for me as he only wants to be a good son.Should I stay in this marriage and work through the issues, or is it time to leave?
    Ans: Dear Anonymous,
    Ask yourself:
    What if I stay in this marriage, what will gain and what will I lose?
    What if I walk out of this marriage, what will I gain and what will I lose?

    Given that you have seen the Red Flags and for reasons, you still are left wondering what you should be doing...Of course, if you feel that things might improve, your husband first needs to acknowledge that he has to change and also understand why he has to change. Right now, the way you describe, he seems to be on his own trip behaving oddly enough and not as a husband must. Do what needs to be done for him to realize this and also for the sake of your own sanity, do put a timeline to this entire thing, so that your patience is not tested. After that, you will have known that you have everything and more in order for him to realize and change and then taking decisions become easier and purposeful

    All the best!
    Anu Krishna
    Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
    Drop in: www.unfear.io
    Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

    ..Read more

    Anu

    Anu Krishna  |1755 Answers  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 29, 2024

    Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2024Hindi
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    Relationship
    i got married late in life being a girl which was 30 years old, after i got married my so called husband started harassing me verbally and then in just three months i stayed with him he strangled me 3 times and hit me 2 times, and says sorry everytime and then repeat again according to people this is not even a thing as these things happens between married people, i was a working housewife there as i work from home being a software engineer but still this person and his mom had a lot of issues with me, And just to be in this marriage i did everything to made it work. His efforts which he say he put were he took me to honeymoon(in which he fought with me for day saying why did your brother didn't ask me which car did i will prefer) Basically this man thinks i didn't put much efforts for him in marriage that's arrange like buying things for him and according to his level ( the most irritating word for me he uses for himself, mere level ki watch nhi h, mere level k kpde nhi h, mere level ka hall nhi h). Even after marriage for 2 months he and his mom keeps on saying such things but i tried to ignore them. But how can i do that when at night my husband after my office hours end at 10'o clock starts fighting with me and keep that's up till 12. He don't even care if i eat or not but wants me to feed him with my own hands because according to him being a husband he deserves this kind of love and care from me. And says that you don't know how the world outside is he need to work with people and you just work online so that's not even work( i earn almost same as him). I did every thing washing his undergarments till placing his clothes in almirah. Providing him variety of foods, and make him enjoy a lot of sex which was the only kind of intimacy i had with this person. Even when he fought with me still he forcefully had sex because acc to him its his right and the only way to solve his fights or ruckus he has caused. So after observing his behaviour i am asking him divorce since then but he is not ready to provide me. Legally it will be a very long time, though i have started that too. i am 32 now and case will going to take many years and later even now no one will marry me at this age because i am divorcee & Also 32. What should i do?
    Ans: Dear Anonymous,
    You are doing what you should do for yourself. Move away from this very toxic person and the marriage. Yes, he may contest and this can be a long drawn affair, be prepared for that.
    Consult with a good lawyer who will basically be able to contest it very ably from your side and make sure that it ends fair and square.
    There is no need to think of yet another marriage right now as I suggest that you give yourself some time to breathe and move out of this one. Feel your freedom, physically, emotionally and financially and heal from this one. There will be a point in time when you might feel the need for a companion...

    All the best!
    Anu Krishna
    Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
    Drop in: www.unfear.io
    Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

    ..Read more

    Kanchan

    Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 30, 2024

    Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
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    Relationship
    Hi Dr. I am 27 year women with a 5 year old girl and 7 months pregnant. I was married 9 years ago. We faced many ups and downs in our life. Three years back , I went to dubai where my husband was working, to spend with him. But as a mobile addict , most of the time he will be on mobile when he was at home or sleeping. We spend little quality time . That too on my or my daughter's insist. Later I got job there as a teacher @ school . I worked there about two years when I got pregnant I return back to my home country. As he was resigned in search of better opportunity, even he is also with me in India now. He is short tempered and whenever he talks he raises his voice. For every single thing he is worried and shouting at me . It makes me feel sad. He is not bothered about my health and if I ask something like fruits to buy he will get angry saying that I am the one who is to manage the expenses and he can't afford buying things for me. He blames me for single thing. I need to ask permission for spending my money. He is in charge of taking care of my money. Main thing that I can't digest from his side is that he demands me to obey him like a slave. He says that how we are to the God , likewise you should obey and bear what ever from his side. Till that my love towards him isn't completed that is what he says. He never ever gives me a chance to explain or communicate my issues. Now I feel emotionally mentally very distant from him. I am staying at my home . Though his house is nearby mine, he rarely find time to visit me or call me. What should I do?
    Ans: Your husband's behavior, as you've explained, reflects patterns of control and a lack of empathy for your well-being. Relationships thrive on mutual respect, open communication, and partnership, not dominance or one-sided expectations. The idea that you should obey him like a slave is deeply concerning and goes against the foundation of a healthy and loving relationship. His unwillingness to engage in meaningful communication or to show care during your pregnancy exacerbates the emotional distance you feel.

    Right now, your primary focus should be on your mental and physical health and that of your children, both born and unborn. It's important to have a support system around you. Being with your family at this time seems like a good decision, as it gives you some space from the negativity and an opportunity to focus on yourself.

    You deserve to feel heard, valued, and supported in your marriage. It's worth considering having a candid conversation with your husband when emotions are not heightened, explaining how his behavior affects you and the marriage. If he is unwilling to listen or dismisses your feelings, it may be time to consider seeking professional help, such as marriage counseling, where both of you can work on your relationship dynamics in a neutral and supportive environment.

    If he refuses to engage in any efforts to improve the relationship or continues to demand unquestioning obedience without regard for your well-being, you might need to reflect on whether this relationship aligns with the life you envision for yourself and your children. No one deserves to feel like they are unworthy or diminished in their own home.

    Remember, taking care of your emotional well-being is not just about your own happiness but also about creating a nurturing environment for your children. You are strong, and you have already shown resilience by navigating this challenging relationship and focusing on your responsibilities. Trust in your ability to make decisions that prioritize your dignity, health, and future. If you ever feel overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist who can provide support tailored to your circumstances and guide you through these difficult emotions.

    ..Read more

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    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

    Money
    Hello Sir I am investing in 5 different 7200 per month total 36000 fund as below Axis large and midcap
    Ans: You have shown strong financial discipline.
    Regular monthly investing reflects serious intent.
    Staying invested needs patience and belief.
    Your effort over time deserves appreciation.

    » Current Investment Structure Overview

    – You invest Rs. 36,000 every month.
    – Amount is split across five equity-oriented strategies.
    – This shows diversification intent.
    – Diversification reduces single-style risk.

    – Monthly investing suits salaried income patterns.
    – SIPs align well with long-term goals.
    – Equity exposure suits wealth creation goals.

    – Five funds is manageable but needs review.
    – More funds do not mean better safety.
    – Proper role clarity matters more.

    » Portfolio Intent and Goal Alignment

    – Your goal appears long-term wealth creation.
    – Equity suits goals beyond seven years.
    – Time horizon supports market volatility absorption.

    – Long-term goals need consistent behaviour.
    – Discipline matters more than fund selection.
    – Staying invested creates compounding benefits.

    – Your approach matches long-term thinking.
    – This mindset improves outcome probability.

    » Asset Allocation Perspective

    – Your portfolio is equity-heavy.
    – Equity brings higher volatility short term.
    – Equity rewards patience over time.

    – Ensure debt investments exist separately.
    – Debt brings stability and peace.
    – Debt supports emergencies and near-term needs.

    – Keeping debt separate is sensible.
    – It improves mental clarity.

    » Diversification Quality Assessment

    – Diversification across market segments exists.
    – Exposure covers large and mid-sized companies.
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    – Too much overlap can reduce benefits.
    – Similar stocks may repeat across strategies.
    – This reduces true diversification.

    – Over-diversification also reduces conviction.
    – Fewer focused strategies work better.

    » Need for Portfolio Simplification

    – Five equity strategies may be reviewed.
    – Simplification improves tracking and control.
    – Monitoring becomes easier with fewer holdings.

    – Each fund must have a clear role.
    – Avoid duplication of investment styles.

    – Consolidation improves portfolio efficiency.
    – It also reduces emotional confusion.

    » Actively Managed Strategy Advantage

    – Actively managed funds use research-based decisions.
    – Managers adjust allocations with market changes.
    – They respond to valuations and risks.

    – Indian markets reward active stock selection.
    – Corporate quality varies widely here.
    – Active monitoring adds value.

    – Fund managers avoid weak businesses earlier.
    – This protects downside during market stress.

    – Active management suits long-term Indian investors.

    » Why Passive Strategies Have Limitations

    – Passive strategies track markets blindly.
    – They stay fully invested always.
    – They cannot reduce risk during excess valuations.

    – Overvalued stocks remain included.
    – Weak companies stay until index changes.

    – There is no human judgement.
    – No valuation discipline exists.

    – During corrections, losses are full.
    – There is no downside protection.

    – Actively managed funds handle volatility better.
    – They aim to protect capital also.

    » SIP Amount Adequacy Review

    – Rs. 36,000 monthly is meaningful.
    – Consistency matters more than starting amount.

    – Income growth should drive future increases.
    – Step-ups improve long-term results.

    – Avoid stretching finances for higher SIPs.
    – Comfort matters for sustainability.

    » Step-Up Strategy Insight

    – Step-ups should match income growth.
    – Aggressive step-ups increase stress risk.

    – Stable step-ups are more practical.
    – Even moderate increases work well.

    – Review step-ups annually.
    – Adjust based on cash flows.

    – Flexibility is more important than targets.

    » Behavioural Discipline Evaluation

    – You stayed invested consistently.
    – This shows emotional maturity.

    – Many investors stop during volatility.
    – You continued despite market noise.

    – This behaviour creates long-term wealth.

    – Avoid frequent portfolio checking.
    – Market movements can trigger fear.

    » Market Volatility Preparedness

    – Equity markets move in cycles.
    – Sharp corrections are normal.

    – Expect at least one major fall.
    – Emotional readiness matters most then.

    – SIPs help manage volatility impact.
    – They average costs automatically.

    – Stay focused on long-term goals.

    » Rebalancing Strategy Importance

    – Rebalancing protects accumulated gains.
    – It manages risk over time.

    – Equity exposure should reduce gradually.
    – Especially near goal timelines.

    – Rebalancing must be rule-based.
    – Avoid emotional decisions.

    » Tax Awareness for Equity Investments

    – Equity taxation rules have changed.
    – Long-term gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh face tax.

    – Short-term gains attract higher tax.
    – Frequent churn increases tax burden.

    – Long-term holding improves tax efficiency.

    – Planned withdrawals reduce tax impact.

    » Cash Flow and Emergency Planning

    – Emergency fund is essential.
    – Six months expenses is ideal.

    – Emergency money should be liquid.
    – Avoid equity for emergencies.

    – This protects investments during crises.

    » Insurance and Protection Planning

    – Health insurance coverage must be adequate.
    – Medical inflation rises fast.

    – Term insurance should cover dependents.
    – Coverage must match responsibilities.

    – Protection supports long-term investing success.

    » Lifestyle Inflation Management

    – Income growth increases lifestyle temptation.
    – Expenses should grow slower.

    – Savings rate decides wealth creation speed.
    – Control lifestyle upgrades consciously.

    » Review Frequency Guidance

    – Annual review is enough.
    – Avoid monthly changes.

    – Review after major life events.
    – Income changes need updates.

    – Market news alone needs no action.

    » Monitoring Progress Towards Goals

    – Track progress once a year.
    – Use realistic expectations.

    – Markets will not move linearly.
    – Shortfalls are normal sometimes.

    – Focus on consistency and discipline.

    » Role of Professional Guidance

    – Regular plans offer ongoing support.
    – Guidance helps during volatile periods.

    – A Certified Financial Planner adds value.
    – Behaviour coaching matters most.

    – Long-term success depends on decisions.

    » Estate and Nomination Planning

    – Ensure all nominations are updated.
    – This avoids family stress later.

    – Writing a simple will helps.
    – It provides clarity and peace.

    » Finally

    – Your investing habit is strong.
    – Your consistency builds financial strength.

    – Portfolio structure is broadly suitable.
    – Simplification can improve efficiency.

    – Active management supports Indian markets well.
    – Behaviour discipline will decide outcomes.

    – Stay patient and review yearly.
    – Wealth creation is a journey.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2025Hindi
    Money
    Hello sir I am investing 7200 per month in 5 different fund with expected step up of 20% in coming may 2026 detail below and xirr 14.24% Axis large mid cap 224070/ HDFC bse sensex 214998 Mirae asset midcap fund 231265/ Parag Parikh flexi 225912/ Quant large and midcap fund 210315 This is going since last 3 years started with 25k total accumulation 1133560/ This is for my long term goal like 8 cr in 10 year and used that fund accordingly Is this portfolio looking good ? Are any changes needed is step up good for target please help suggest and modification actually I got these funds 3 year back from my CA friend and since then they are as is with no changes please give your input and changes needed I am also investing govt employe regular scheme as well as debt fund but will be keeping them seperate from this portfolio please help reviewing
    Ans: You are doing many things correctly.
    Your discipline and patience deserve appreciation.
    Three years of steady investing shows strong intent.
    Your clarity on long-term goals is a big strength.

    » Overall Portfolio Structure Assessment

    – Your portfolio is fully equity-oriented.
    – Equity is suitable for long-term wealth goals.
    – A ten-year horizon supports equity exposure.
    – Your diversification across styles is sensible.
    – Exposure spans large, mid, and flexible strategies.

    – This reduces dependency on one market segment.
    – Your portfolio avoided extreme sector concentration.
    – Volatility risk is still present and expected.
    – Emotional discipline will be very important ahead.

    – Your current value growth shows market participation.
    – XIRR above inflation is encouraging.
    – Returns may fluctuate sharply during market cycles.

    » SIP Discipline and Behaviour Review

    – Monthly investing builds strong financial habits.
    – SIPs reduce timing risk over market cycles.
    – Consistency matters more than fund switching.
    – Your three-year continuity is a positive sign.

    – Markets rewarded patience during volatile phases.
    – You stayed invested during uncertain periods.
    – That behaviour improves long-term outcomes.

    – SIPs also support emotional stability.
    – They prevent impulsive lump-sum decisions.

    » Step-Up Strategy Evaluation

    – A 20 percent annual step-up is aggressive.
    – Aggressive step-ups suit rising income profiles.
    – Sustainability matters more than intention.

    – Review income growth before committing yearly.
    – Ensure lifestyle expenses remain comfortable.
    – Avoid stress-driven investment decisions.

    – If income growth is uneven, reduce step-up.
    – Even 10 to 15 percent works well.

    – Flexibility is better than forced commitments.
    – Step-ups should feel easy, not painful.

    » Goal Feasibility Review for Rs. 8 Crore

    – A large goal needs multiple support pillars.
    – SIP alone may not be enough.
    – Step-ups improve probability, not certainty.

    – Market returns are not linear.
    – Ten-year periods can include flat phases.
    – Expect at least one deep correction.

    – Equity helps beat inflation over time.
    – But equity never guarantees fixed outcomes.

    – You must prepare for shortfall scenarios.
    – Backup plans are part of smart planning.

    » Portfolio Concentration and Overlap

    – Multiple funds can still overlap.
    – Similar stocks appear across strategies.
    – Overlap reduces true diversification benefits.

    – Too many funds dilute conviction.
    – Fewer, well-managed strategies work better.

    – Portfolio simplicity improves tracking and discipline.
    – Monitoring becomes easier with fewer holdings.

    – Consider consolidating into fewer categories.
    – Keep allocation intentional, not accidental.

    » Fund Management Style Balance

    – You hold growth-oriented strategies.
    – Mid-segment exposure increases volatility.
    – Flexibility helps adjust across cycles.

    – Actively managed strategies add value here.
    – Skilled managers adjust allocations dynamically.
    – They respond to valuations and risks.

    – This is helpful in volatile markets.
    – Active decisions reduce downside impact sometimes.

    » About Index-Oriented Investing Reference

    – One holding tracks a broad market index.
    – Index strategies follow markets blindly.
    – They cannot avoid overvalued stocks.

    – Index portfolios stay fully invested always.
    – They suffer fully during market falls.
    – No defensive action is possible.

    – Index funds ignore business quality shifts.
    – Poor companies remain until index changes.

    – Actively managed funds avoid weak businesses earlier.
    – Fund managers use research-based decisions.
    – They manage risk, not just returns.

    – Over long periods, good active funds outperform.
    – Especially in emerging markets like India.

    – Indian markets reward stock selection skill.
    – Active management adds meaningful value here.

    » Risk Management Perspective

    – Equity risk rises near goal timelines.
    – Ten years may feel long today.
    – It will reduce faster than expected.

    – Gradual risk reduction is essential later.
    – Do not stay fully aggressive always.

    – Portfolio rebalancing must be planned.
    – Shifting gains protects accumulated wealth.

    – Risk capacity differs from risk tolerance.
    – Income stability defines risk capacity.
    – Emotions define risk tolerance.

    » Tax Efficiency Awareness

    – Equity taxation rules have changed.
    – Long-term gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed.
    – Short-term gains face higher taxation now.

    – Frequent churn increases tax leakage.
    – Staying invested reduces unnecessary taxes.

    – Goal-based withdrawals help manage tax impact.
    – Random redemptions reduce efficiency.

    » Behavioural Finance Observations

    – You trusted advice and stayed consistent.
    – That discipline deserves appreciation.

    – Avoid frequent performance comparisons.
    – Social media creates unnecessary anxiety.

    – Markets move in cycles, not straight lines.
    – Patience creates wealth, not speed.

    – Avoid reacting to short-term news.
    – News is noise for long-term investors.

    » Role of Debt and Government Schemes

    – Keeping debt investments separate is wise.
    – Debt adds stability to total wealth.

    – Government schemes support capital protection.
    – They also provide predictable cash flows.

    – Use debt for near-term goals.
    – Use equity only for long-term goals.

    – This separation improves mental clarity.

    » Portfolio Review Frequency

    – Annual review is sufficient.
    – Avoid quarterly tinkering.

    – Review after major life changes.
    – Income changes need strategy updates.

    – Market events alone need no action.

    » Emergency and Protection Planning

    – Ensure adequate emergency reserves exist.
    – Six months expenses is ideal.

    – Health insurance should be sufficient.
    – Cover must rise with medical inflation.

    – Term insurance should protect dependents.
    – Coverage should match responsibilities.

    – Protection planning supports investment success.

    » Inflation and Lifestyle Planning

    – Inflation erodes purchasing power silently.
    – Equity helps fight inflation over time.

    – Lifestyle upgrades must be planned.
    – Avoid increasing expenses with income fully.

    – Savings rate matters more than returns.

    » Estate and Nomination Planning

    – Ensure nominations are updated.
    – This avoids future family stress.

    – Write a simple will.
    – It gives clarity and peace.

    » Rebalancing Strategy Guidance

    – Do not rebalance emotionally.
    – Follow predefined asset ranges.

    – Shift profits after strong rallies.
    – Add equity during deep corrections.

    – Rebalancing improves risk-adjusted returns.

    » Monitoring Progress Towards Goal

    – Track progress annually.
    – Use realistic expectations.

    – Do not anchor to fixed numbers.
    – Markets rarely cooperate perfectly.

    – Focus on process, not prediction.

    » Finally

    – Your foundation is strong and disciplined.
    – Your intent and consistency are commendable.

    – Portfolio structure is broadly appropriate.
    – Some consolidation may improve efficiency.

    – Step-up should remain flexible.
    – Sustainability matters more than aggression.

    – Active management suits your long-term goal.
    – Behavioural discipline will decide outcomes.

    – Continue reviewing holistically each year.
    – Adjust strategy, not emotions.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Naveenn

    Naveenn Kummar  |237 Answers  |Ask -

    Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

    Money
    hello, i took an insurance policy in 2021 from TATA AIA SAMPOORNA RAKSHAK which has 12 premium for 12 years and the policy goes on for 80+years with 50 lakh insurance i paic my first premium of 1,35000 yearly, but my fortune change and i lost my handsome salary job and i was unable to pay that premium so i needed to stop that as my family primary expenses comes first.sir the insurance company say you wont get this premium back as its already written in terms and condition book,but for me its an huge amount. i would like to know from you that can i get this money from company legally or not and if so how can i get it back. thankyou.
    Ans: Hello. I understand why this hurts. ?1.35 lakh is not a small amount, especially when life takes an unexpected turn. Let me explain this calmly and clearly so you know exactly where you stand and what is realistically possible.

    First, the hard truth about this policy
    Tata AIA Life Insurance Sampoorna Rakshak is a pure term insurance plan.
    In term insurance:

    There is no savings or investment component

    The premium is paid only for risk cover

    If the policy lapses early, there is no surrender value

    Since you paid only the first year premium and could not continue, the policy lapsed. As per IRDAI rules and the policy contract, term plans do not refund premiums once risk cover has started, even for one year.

    So from a legal and regulatory standpoint, the insurer is technically correct.

    Can you get the money back legally?
    Let me be very honest and practical.

    1. Legal refund claim
    Not possible, unless there was:

    Mis-selling (false promises of return, savings, maturity value)

    Incorrect information given in writing

    Forged consent or wrong policy explained as an investment plan

    If the agent verbally said things like:

    “You will get money back”

    “This works like an investment”

    “You can withdraw later”

    and you have proof (WhatsApp, email, brochure), then you may have a case.

    Without proof, a court or ombudsman will side with the policy wording.

    2. Free look period option
    This allows refund within 15–30 days of policy issuance.
    Your policy is from 2021, so this option is long gone.

    What options are realistically left now?
    Option 1: Escalation request (low success, but try)
    You can still request a goodwill consideration, not a legal claim.

    Write a calm email to:

    Tata AIA grievance cell

    Mention job loss, financial hardship

    Request partial refund or conversion to paid-up (they will likely say no, but try once)

    Do not expect much, but sometimes insurers offer ex-gratia rejection confirmation which helps closure.

    Option 2: Insurance Ombudsman (for peace of mind)
    You may approach the Insurance Ombudsman, but I want to be clear:

    Ombudsman follows policy terms

    For term plans, verdict is usually in favour of insurer

    This is more for mental closure than recovery.

    Why this feels unfair but is still allowed
    Think of it this way:

    For one year, your family had ?50 lakh protection

    The premium paid was for that one-year risk

    Just like car insurance, unused years are not refundable

    I am saying this not to justify the system, but to help you accept reality without guilt.

    One important emotional point
    You did nothing wrong by stopping the policy.
    Choosing food, rent, education, and survival over insurance is financial wisdom, not failure.

    Many people continue policies out of fear and end up in debt. You didn’t.

    You handled a tough phase responsibly. That matters more than a lost premium.

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2025Hindi
    Money
    I have a credit card written off status on my cibil . This is about 2 lakhs on 2 credit card. I made last payment in 2019 and was unable to make payments later as I lost my job.Now i have stable job and can pay off 2 lkahs, My worry is will the bank take 2 laksh or add interest on that and ask me to pay 8 or 10 lakhs for this ? can anyone advice if this situation is similar and have you heard about any solutions . I can make payment of 2 lakhs outstandng as reflecting in my cibil report
    Ans: First, appreciate your honesty and responsibility.
    You faced job loss and survived a difficult phase.
    Now you have income and intent to close dues.
    That itself is a strong and positive step.

    There are solutions available.

    What “written off” actually means

    – “Written off” does not mean loan is forgiven.
    – It means bank stopped active recovery temporarily.
    – The amount is still legally payable.
    – Bank or recovery agency can approach you.

    – CIBIL shows this as serious default.
    – But it is not a criminal case.

    Your biggest worry clarified clearly
    Will bank ask Rs. 8–10 lakhs now?

    In most practical cases, NO.

    – Banks rarely recover full inflated amounts.
    – Interest technically keeps accruing.
    – But banks know recovery is difficult.

    – They prefer one-time settlement.
    – They want closure, not long fights.

    What usually happens in real life

    – Outstanding shown may be Rs. 2 lakhs.
    – Bank internal system may show higher amount.

    – They may initially demand more.
    – This is a negotiation starting point.

    – Final settlement usually happens near:
    – Principal amount
    – Or slightly above principal

    – Rs. 8–10 lakhs demand is rarely enforced.

    Why your position is actually strong

    – Default happened due to job loss.
    – Time gap is several years.
    – Account is already written off.

    – You are now willing to pay.
    – You can offer lump sum.

    Banks respect lump sum offers.

    What you should NOT do

    – Do not panic and pay blindly.
    – Do not accept verbal promises.
    – Do not pay without written confirmation.

    – Do not pay partial amounts casually.
    – That weakens your negotiation position.

    Correct step-by-step approach
    Step 1: Contact bank recovery department

    – Call customer care.
    – Ask for recovery or settlement team.
    – Avoid agents initially.

    Step 2: Ask for settlement option

    Use clear language:
    – You lost job earlier.
    – Situation is stable now.
    – You want to close accounts fully.

    Ask specifically for:
    – One Time Settlement option
    – Written settlement letter

    Step 3: Negotiate calmly

    – Start by offering Rs. 2 lakhs.
    – Mention it matches CIBIL outstanding.

    – Bank may counter with higher number.
    – This is normal negotiation.

    – Many cases close between:
    – 100% to 130% of principal

    Rarely more, if negotiated well.

    Important: Written settlement letter

    Before paying anything, ensure letter states:

    – Full and final settlement
    – No further dues will remain
    – Account will be closed
    – CIBIL status will be updated

    Never rely on phone assurance.

    How payment should be made

    – Pay only to bank account.
    – Avoid cash payments.
    – Keep receipts safely.

    – After payment, collect closure letter.

    Impact on your CIBIL score

    Be very clear on this point.

    – “Written off” will not disappear immediately.
    – Settlement changes status to “Settled”.

    – “Settled” is better than “Written off”.
    – But still considered negative initially.

    – Score improves gradually over time.

    What improves CIBIL after settlement

    – No new defaults
    – Timely payments on future credit
    – Low credit utilisation
    – Patience

    Usually improvement seen within 12–24 months.

    Should you wait or settle now?

    Settling now is better because:

    – Old defaults block future loans.
    – Housing loan becomes difficult.
    – Car loan interest becomes high.

    – Emotional stress continues otherwise.

    Closure brings mental relief.

    Common fear: “What if they harass me?”

    – Harassment has reduced significantly.
    – RBI rules are stricter now.
    – Written settlement protects you.

    – If harassment happens, complain formally.

    Have others faced this situation?

    Yes, thousands.

    – Many lost jobs after 2018–2020.
    – Credit card defaults increased widely.

    – Most cases got settled reasonably.
    – You are not alone.

    Things working in your favour

    – Old default
    – Written-off status already marked
    – Willingness to pay lump sum
    – Stable income now

    This gives negotiation power.

    After settlement: what next

    – Avoid credit cards initially.
    – Start with small secured products.

    – Pay everything on time.
    – Keep credit usage low.

    – Score will heal gradually.

    Final reassurance

    You will not be forced to pay Rs. 8–10 lakhs suddenly.
    Banks prefer realistic recovery.
    Your readiness to pay Rs. 2 lakhs is valuable.

    Handle this calmly and formally.
    Take everything in writing.
    You are doing the right thing now.

    ...Read more

    Nayagam P

    Nayagam P P  |10859 Answers  |Ask -

    Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2025Hindi
    Career
    I am 41 year's old bp and sugar patient i completed 3years articleship for the purpose CA cource,now iam looking for paid assistant Job because still iam not clear my ipcc exams salary very low 10k per month,can I quit finance and accounting job because of my health please advise or suggest
    Ans: At 41 years old with hypertension and diabetes, having completed 3 years of CA articleship but unable to clear IPCC exams while earning ?10,000 monthly, continuing in high-stress finance/accounting roles presents genuine health risks. Research confirms that sedentary, high-pressure accounting and finance jobs significantly exacerbate hypertension and Type 2 Diabetes through chronic stress, irregular routines, and poor sleep quality—particularly affecting professionals aged 35-50. Yes, quitting finance is medically justified. Rather than abandoning your accounting foundation, strategically transition to less stressful, specialized accounting/finance roles utilizing your three years of articleship experience while prioritizing health. Pursue three alternative certifications requiring 6-18 months of flexible, online study—compatible with managing your health conditions while maintaining income. These certifications leverage your existing accounting knowledge, command premium salaries (?6-12 LPA+), offer remote/flexible work options reducing stress, and require minimal additional skill upgradation beyond what you've already invested.? Option 1 – Certified Fraud Examiner (CFE) / Forensic Accounting Specialist: Complete NISM Forensic Investigation Level 1&2 (100% online, 6-12 months) or Indiaforensic's Certified Forensic Accounting Professional (distance learning, flexible). Your CA articleship background is ideal for fraud detection roles. Salary: ?6-9 LPA; Stress Level: Moderate (deadline-driven analysis, not client management); Work-Life Balance: High (project-based, remote-capable); Skill Upgradation Needed: Fraud investigation techniques, financial forensics software—both taught in certification.? Option 2 – ACCA (Association of Chartered Accountants) or US CPA: More flexible than CA (study at own pace, global recognition, no lengthy articleship repeat). ACCA requires 13-15 months online study with five paper exemptions (since you've completed articleship); US CPA takes 12 months post-articleship. Salary: ?7-12 LPA (India), higher internationally; Stress Level: Lower (flexible study schedule, no rigid mentorship like CA); Work-Life Balance: Excellent (flexible learning, no daily office stress initially); Skill Upgradation: International accounting standards, tax practices, audit frameworks—all covered in coursework. Option 3 – CMA USA (Cost & Management Accounting): Specializes in management accounting and financial planning vs. auditing. Requires two exams, 200 study hours total, completable in 8-12 months. Highly preferred by MNCs, IT companies, startups for finance manager/FP&A roles. Salary: ?8-12 LPA initially, potentially ?20+ LPA as Finance Manager/CFO; Stress Level: Low (CMA roles focus on strategic planning, less client pressure); Work-Life Balance: Excellent (corporate roles often more structured than CA practice); Skill Upgradation: Management accounting principles, data analytics, financial modeling—valuable for modern finance roles.? Final Advice: Quit immediately if current role is deteriorating health. Register for ACCA or US CPA within 30 days—most flexible, globally recognized, requiring minimal additional investment. Simultaneously pursue Forensic Accounting certification (6-month concurrent track) as backup specialization. Target roles as Compliance Analyst, Forensic Accountant, or Corporate Finance Manager—all leverage your articleship, offer 40-45 hour weeks (vs. CA practice's 50-60), enable remote work, and command ?8-12 LPA within 18 months. Your health is irreplaceable; your accounting foundation is valuable enough to transition strategically rather than completely exit.? All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

    Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

    Money
    I am 62 years of age. i have bought Max life smart wealth long term plan policy and Max life smart life advantage growth per pulse insta income fixed returns policies 2 /3 years ago. Are these policies good as i want to get benefits when i am alive. is there a way i can close " max life smart wealth long term plan policy ", as i am facing difficulty in paying up the premium. The agents don't give clear picture. please suggest.
    Ans: You have shown courage by asking the right question.
    Many seniors suffer silently with unsuitable policies.
    Your concern about living benefits is very valid.
    Your age makes clarity extremely important now.

    » Your current life stage reality
    – You are 62 years old.
    – You are in active retirement planning phase.
    – Capital protection matters more than growth.

    – Cash flow comfort is critical.
    – Stress-free income is more important than returns.
    – Long lock-ins create anxiety now.

    » Understanding the type of policies you bought
    – These are investment-cum-insurance policies.
    – They mix protection and investment together.

    – Such products are complex by design.
    – Benefits are spread over long durations.

    – Charges are high in early years.
    – Liquidity remains very limited initially.

    » Core issue with such policies at your age
    – These policies suit younger earners better.
    – They need long holding periods.

    – At 62, time horizon is shorter.
    – You need access to money now.

    – Premium commitment becomes stressful.
    – Returns remain unclear for many years.

    » Focus on your stated need
    – You want benefits while alive.
    – You want income and flexibility.

    – You do not want confusion.
    – You want transparency.

    – This is absolutely reasonable.

    » Reality check on living benefits
    – Living benefits are slow in such policies.
    – Early years give very little value.

    – Most benefits come much later.
    – This delays usefulness.

    – Income promises are often misunderstood.
    – Actual cash flow is usually low.

    » Why agents fail to give clarity
    – Products are difficult to explain honestly.
    – Commissions are front-loaded.

    – Explanations focus on maturity numbers.
    – Risks and lock-ins get downplayed.

    – This creates disappointment later.

    » Premium stress is a clear warning sign
    – Difficulty paying premium is serious.
    – It should never be ignored.

    – Forced continuation hurts retirement peace.
    – This signals mismatch with your needs.

    » Can such policies be closed
    – Yes, they can be exited.
    – Exit terms depend on policy status.

    – Minimum holding period usually applies.
    – After that, surrender becomes possible.

    – You may receive surrender value.
    – This value is often lower initially.

    » Emotional barrier around surrender
    – Many seniors fear losing money.
    – This fear delays correct decisions.

    – Continuing wrong products increases loss.
    – Early correction reduces damage.

    » Assessment of continuing versus exiting
    – Continuing means more premium burden.
    – Returns remain uncertain.

    – Liquidity stays restricted.
    – Stress continues every year.

    – Exiting stops further premium drain.
    – Money becomes usable elsewhere.

    » Income needs in retirement
    – Retirement needs predictable cash flow.
    – Expenses do not wait for maturity.

    – Medical costs rise unexpectedly.
    – Family support needs flexibility.

    – Locked products reduce confidence.

    » Insurance versus investment separation
    – Insurance should protect, not invest.
    – Investment should grow or give income.

    – Mixing both causes confusion.
    – Separation improves clarity.

    » What a Certified Financial Planner would assess
    – Your regular expenses.
    – Your emergency fund adequacy.

    – Your health cover sufficiency.
    – Your existing liquid assets.

    – Your comfort with volatility.

    » Action regarding investment-cum-insurance policies
    – These policies are not ideal now.
    – They strain cash flow.

    – They do not give immediate income.
    – They reduce flexibility.

    – Surrender should be seriously considered.

    » How to approach surrender decision calmly
    – First, ask for surrender value statement.
    – Ask insurer directly, not agents.

    – Request written breakup.
    – Include all charges.

    – Compare future premiums versus surrender value.

    » Important surrender-related points
    – Surrender value may seem low.
    – This is common in early years.

    – Focus on future peace, not past loss.
    – Stop throwing good money after bad.

    » Tax aspect awareness
    – Surrender proceeds may have tax impact.
    – This depends on policy structure.

    – Get clarity before final action.
    – Plan withdrawal carefully.

    » What to do after surrender
    – Do not keep money idle.
    – Reinvest based on retirement needs.

    – Focus on income generation.
    – Focus on capital safety.

    » Suitable investment approach after exit
    – Use diversified mutual fund solutions.
    – Choose conservative to balanced options.

    – Prefer actively managed funds.
    – They adjust during market changes.

    » Why index funds are unsuitable here
    – Index funds mirror full market falls.
    – No downside protection exists.

    – Volatility can disturb sleep.
    – Recovery may take time.

    – Active funds aim to reduce damage.
    – This suits senior investors better.

    » Why regular mutual fund route helps
    – Guidance is crucial at this age.
    – Behaviour control matters.

    – Regular reviews prevent mistakes.
    – Certified Financial Planner support adds confidence.

    – Cost difference is worth guidance.

    » Income planning without annuities
    – Avoid irreversible income products.
    – Keep flexibility alive.

    – Use systematic withdrawal approaches.
    – Control amount and timing.

    » Liquidity planning importance
    – Keep enough money accessible.
    – Emergencies do not announce arrival.

    – Liquidity gives mental comfort.
    – Avoid forced asset sales.

    » Health expense preparedness
    – Health costs rise sharply after sixty.
    – Inflation is brutal here.

    – Keep separate health contingency fund.
    – Do not depend on policy maturity.

    » Estate and family clarity
    – Ensure nominees are updated.
    – Write a clear Will.

    – Avoid confusion for family.
    – Simplicity matters now.

    » Psychological peace as a goal
    – Retirement planning is emotional.
    – Stress harms health.

    – Financial clarity improves wellbeing.
    – Confidence comes from control.

    » Red flags you should never ignore
    – Premium pressure.
    – Unclear benefits.

    – Long lock-in periods.
    – Agent-driven explanations only.

    » What you should do immediately
    – Ask insurer for surrender details.
    – Evaluate calmly with numbers.

    – Stop listening only to agents.
    – Seek unbiased planning view.

    » What not to do
    – Do not continue blindly.
    – Do not stop premiums without clarity.

    – Do not delay decision endlessly.
    – Delay increases loss.

    » Your age-specific investment mindset
    – Growth is secondary now.
    – Stability is primary.

    – Income visibility is essential.
    – Liquidity is non-negotiable.

    » Emotional reassurance
    – You are not alone.
    – Many seniors face similar issues.

    – Correcting course is strength.
    – It is never too late.

    » Final Insights
    – These policies are not aligned now.
    – Premium stress confirms mismatch.

    – Surrender option should be explored seriously.
    – Protect peace over promises.

    – Shift towards flexible, transparent investments.
    – Focus on living benefits and comfort.

    – Simplicity will serve you best now.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

    Money
    Hi Reetika, I am 43 year old. I am currently working in private organization. Having an Investment of 8.0 Lac in NPS, 27 Lac in PF, 4 Lac in PPF and 2.5 Lac in FD. My child is in 11th Science. I have my own house and no any loan. I need to Invest around 80.0 Lac for Child Education, Marriage and Retirement.
    Ans: You have taken a sensible start with disciplined savings.
    Owning a house without loans is a strong advantage.
    Starting early retirement assets shows responsibility.
    Your goals are clear and time is still supportive.

    » Life stage and responsibility review
    – You are 43 years old and employed.
    – Your income phase is still growing.
    – Your child is in 11th Science.

    – Education expenses will start very soon.
    – Marriage goals are medium-term.
    – Retirement is long-term but critical.

    – This stage needs balance, not extremes.
    – Growth and safety both are required.

    » Current asset structure understanding
    – Retirement-linked savings already exist.
    – These assets give long-term discipline.

    – Provident savings form a stable base.
    – Pension-oriented savings add future comfort.

    – Public savings give safety and tax efficiency.
    – Fixed deposits give short-term liquidity.

    – Overall structure is conservative currently.
    – Growth assets need gradual strengthening.

    » Liquidity and emergency readiness
    – Fixed deposits cover immediate needs.
    – Emergency risk appears controlled.

    – Maintain at least six months expenses.
    – This avoids forced investment exits.

    – Do not reduce liquidity for long-term goals.

    » Education goal time horizon assessment
    – Child education starts within few years.
    – Expenses will rise sharply during graduation.

    – Foreign education may increase cost further.
    – This goal needs partial safety focus.

    – Avoid market-linked volatility for near-term needs.

    » Marriage goal perspective
    – Marriage goal is emotional and financial.
    – Expenses usually occur after education.

    – This allows moderate growth approach.
    – Capital protection remains important.

    » Retirement goal clarity
    – Retirement is still twenty years away.
    – Time is your biggest strength.

    – Small discipline now creates big comfort later.
    – Growth assets must play a key role.

    » Gap understanding for Rs. 80 lacs goal
    – Your current assets are lower than required.
    – This gap is normal at this age.

    – Regular investing will bridge the gap.
    – Lump sum expectations should be realistic.

    – Salary growth will support higher investments later.

    » Income utilisation approach
    – Salary should fund regular investments.
    – Annual increments should raise contributions.

    – Bonuses should be goal-based.
    – Avoid lifestyle inflation.

    » Asset allocation strategy direction
    – Future investments must be diversified.
    – Do not depend on one asset type.

    – Growth-oriented funds suit long-term goals.
    – Stable funds suit near-term needs.

    – Balance reduces stress during volatility.

    » Mutual fund role in your plan
    – Mutual funds allow disciplined participation.
    – They reduce direct market timing risk.

    – Professional management adds value.
    – Diversification improves consistency.

    – They suit education and retirement goals.

    » Why actively managed funds matter
    – Markets are volatile and emotional.
    – Index funds follow markets blindly.

    – Index funds fall fully during downturns.
    – There is no downside protection.

    – Actively managed funds adjust exposure.
    – Fund managers reduce risk during stress.

    – They aim to protect capital better.
    – This suits family goals.

    » Regular investing discipline
    – Monthly investing builds habit.
    – Market ups and downs get averaged.

    – This reduces regret and fear.
    – Discipline matters more than timing.

    » Direct versus regular fund clarity
    – Direct funds need strong self-discipline.
    – Monitoring becomes your responsibility.

    – Wrong decisions hurt long-term goals.
    – Emotional exits are common.

    – Regular funds provide guidance.
    – Certified Financial Planner support adds value.

    – Behaviour control protects returns.

    » Tax awareness for mutual funds
    – Equity mutual fund long-term gains face tax.
    – Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed.

    – Tax rate is 12.5 percent.
    – Short-term equity gains face 20 percent tax.

    – Debt fund gains follow slab rates.

    – Tax planning must align with withdrawals.

    » Education funding investment approach
    – Use stable and balanced funds.
    – Avoid aggressive exposure close to need.

    – Gradually reduce risk as goal nears.
    – Protect capital before usage.

    » Marriage funding approach
    – Balanced growth approach is suitable.
    – Do not chase high returns.

    – Ensure funds are available on time.

    » Retirement funding approach
    – Long-term horizon allows growth focus.
    – Equity-oriented funds are essential.

    – Volatility is acceptable now.
    – Time smoothens risk.

    » Review of existing retirement assets
    – Provident savings ensure base security.
    – Pension savings add longevity support.

    – These assets should remain untouched.
    – They form your safety net.

    » Inflation impact awareness
    – Education inflation is very high.
    – Medical inflation rises faster.

    – Retirement expenses increase steadily.
    – Growth assets fight inflation.

    » Insurance protection check
    – Ensure adequate life cover.
    – Family must remain protected.

    – Health cover must be sufficient.
    – Medical costs can derail plans.

    » Estate and nomination hygiene
    – Ensure nominations are updated.
    – Family clarity avoids future stress.

    – Consider writing a Will.
    – This ensures smooth asset transfer.

    » Behavioural discipline importance
    – Market noise creates confusion.
    – Stick to your plan.

    – Avoid frequent changes.
    – Consistency brings results.

    » Review and tracking rhythm
    – Review investments once a year.
    – Avoid daily monitoring.

    – Adjust based on life changes.
    – Keep goals priority-based.

    » Risk capacity versus risk tolerance
    – Your risk capacity is moderate.
    – Your responsibilities are high.

    – Avoid extreme strategies.
    – Balance comfort and growth.

    » Psychological comfort in planning
    – Your base is already strong.
    – Time supports your goals.

    – Discipline will do the heavy work.
    – Panic is your biggest enemy.

    » Finally
    – Yes, achieving Rs. 80 lacs is possible.
    – Time and discipline are in your favour.

    – Start structured investing immediately.
    – Increase contributions with income growth.

    – Keep goals separated mentally.
    – Stay invested during volatility.

    – Your journey looks stable and hopeful.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2025Hindi
    Money
    Hi , I am 50 years old having wife and 1 kid. I got laid off in March 2025 and currently running my own company since July 2025 where in I had invested Rs. 2.50 lacs. At present I am not taking any money from the company but we are not making any losses either. I am having an Investment of 1) 30 lacs in Saving A/c and FDs. 2) 20 lacs in NSC maturing in year 2030. 3) 9 lacs in Mutual Funds. 4) 45 lacs in Equity which i intend to liquidate and put in Mutual Funds. 5) 75 lacs in PPF, PF & NPS. 6) Wife earning 50 lacs annually. 7) She has 40 lacs in Saving A/c and FDs. 8) 1.20 Cr. in PPF, PF & NPS. 9) We also own 2 properties with current fair market value of Rs. 5 Cr. 10) One property is giving us rent of Rs. 66K per month. 11) Apart from this we are also expecting to get ~ Rs. 2.50 Cr. over next 15 years for the insurance policies getting matured. Expenses & Liabilities: 1) Monthly expenses of Rs. 4.50 lacs which includes Rent, Insurance premium, EMI against Education loan for my kid's, Medical premium, Travel, Grocery and other miscl. expenses. 2) Car loan EMI of 40,000 per month which is included in the Rs. 4.50 lacs monthly expenses. This loan is till March 2027. 3) Education loan of Rs. 1.05 Cr. with current liability of Rs. 80 lacs as we paid Rs. 25 lacs to the Bank as prepayment. We need to spend ~ Rs. 40 lacs more to support for the kid education in USA till year 2027. 4) We intend to pay the entire Education loan by max. 2030. My question is, will this be enough for me and my wife for the retirement as my wife intends to work till 2037 if everything goes fine (when she turns 60) and I will continue running my company looking at taking Rs. 1 lacs per month from it from next FY.
    Ans: You have built strong assets with discipline and patience.
    Your financial journey shows clarity, courage, and long-term thinking.
    Despite job loss, stability is well protected.
    Your family position is better than most Indian households.

    » Current life stage understanding
    – You are 50 years old with working spouse.
    – One child pursuing overseas education.
    – You are semi-employed through your own business.
    – Your wife has strong income visibility.
    – This phase needs protection, not aggressive risk.

    – Cash flow control matters more than returns now.
    – Liquidity planning is extremely important.
    – Emotional decisions must be avoided.

    » Employment transition and business assessment
    – Job loss was sudden but handled calmly.
    – Starting your company shows confidence and skill.
    – Initial investment of Rs. 2.50 lacs is reasonable.
    – Zero loss position is a good sign.

    – No salary draw reduces pressure on business.
    – Planned Rs. 1 lac monthly draw is sensible.
    – This keeps household stability intact.
    – Business income should be treated as variable.

    – Do not overestimate future business income.
    – Use it only as a support pillar.

    » Family income stability review
    – Wife earning Rs. 50 lacs annually is a major strength.
    – Her income anchors your retirement plan.
    – Employment till 2037 gives long runway.

    – Her savings discipline looks excellent.
    – Large retirement corpus already exists.
    – This reduces pressure on your assets.

    – You should align plans jointly.
    – Retirement must be treated as family goal.

    » Asset allocation snapshot assessment
    – You hold assets across cash, debt, equity, and retirement buckets.
    – Diversification already exists.
    – That shows mature planning habits.

    – Savings and FDs give immediate liquidity.
    – NSC gives defined maturity comfort.
    – Equity exposure is meaningful.
    – Retirement accounts are strong.

    – Real estate is end-use, not investment.
    – Rental income adds safety.

    » Savings accounts and FDs analysis
    – Rs. 30 lacs in savings and FDs offer flexibility.
    – Wife holding Rs. 40 lacs adds cushion.

    – This covers emergencies and education gaps.
    – Liquidity is sufficient for next three years.

    – Avoid keeping excess idle cash long-term.
    – Inflation quietly erodes value.

    – Use this bucket for planned withdrawals.

    » NSC maturity planning
    – Rs. 20 lacs maturing in 2030 is well timed.
    – This aligns with education loan closure.

    – This can be earmarked for debt repayment.
    – Do not link this to retirement spending.

    – It gives psychological comfort.

    » Mutual fund exposure review
    – Existing mutual fund holding is small.
    – Rs. 9 lacs needs scaling gradually.

    – Your plan to shift equity into funds is wise.
    – This improves risk management.

    – Mutual funds suit retirement phase better.
    – They provide professional management.

    – Avoid sudden large transfers.
    – Phased movement reduces timing risk.

    » Direct equity exposure evaluation
    – Rs. 45 lacs in equity needs careful handling.
    – Market volatility can hurt emotions.

    – Concentration risk exists in direct equity.
    – Monitoring requires time and skill.

    – Gradual exit is sensible.
    – Move funds into diversified mutual funds.

    – Avoid panic selling.
    – Use market strength periods for exits.

    » Retirement accounts strength review
    – Combined PF, PPF, and NPS is very strong.
    – Your Rs. 75 lacs is meaningful.
    – Wife’s Rs. 1.20 Cr is excellent.

    – These assets ensure base retirement security.
    – They protect longevity risk.

    – Do not disturb these accounts prematurely.
    – Let compounding continue.

    » Real estate role clarity
    – Two properties worth Rs. 5 Cr add net worth comfort.
    – One property gives Rs. 66k monthly rent.

    – Rental income supports expenses partially.
    – This reduces portfolio withdrawal stress.

    – Do not consider new property investments.
    – Focus on financial assets.

    » Insurance maturity inflows assessment
    – Expected Rs. 2.50 Cr over 15 years is valuable.
    – This gives future liquidity.

    – These inflows should not be spent casually.
    – They must be reinvested wisely.

    – Align maturity money with retirement phase.

    » Expense structure evaluation
    – Monthly expense of Rs. 4.50 lacs is high.
    – This includes many essential heads.

    – Education, rent, insurance, travel are significant.
    – EMI burden is temporary.

    – Expenses will reduce after 2027.
    – That improves retirement readiness.

    » Car loan review
    – EMI of Rs. 40,000 till March 2027 is manageable.
    – This is already included in expenses.

    – No action required here.
    – Avoid new vehicle loans.

    » Education loan strategy
    – Education loan balance of Rs. 80 lacs is large.
    – Overseas education requires careful funding.

    – Planned additional Rs. 40 lacs till 2027 is realistic.
    – Do not compromise retirement assets for education.

    – Target full closure by 2030 is practical.
    – Use NSC maturity and surplus income.

    – Avoid using retirement accounts for repayment.

    » Cash flow alignment till 2027
    – Wife’s income covers majority expenses.
    – Rental income adds support.

    – Business draw of Rs. 1 lac helps.
    – Savings bridge shortfalls.

    – Cash flow mismatch risk is low.

    » Retirement readiness assessment
    – Combined family net worth is strong.
    – Retirement corpus foundation is already built.

    – Major expenses peak before 2027.
    – After that, burden reduces.

    – Wife working till 2037 adds security.
    – This delays retirement withdrawals.

    » Post-2037 retirement picture
    – After wife retires, expenses will drop.
    – No education costs.
    – No major EMIs.

    – Medical costs will rise gradually.
    – Planning buffers already exist.

    – Rental income continues.

    » Mutual fund strategy for future
    – Shift equity proceeds into diversified mutual funds.
    – Use a mix of growth-oriented and balanced approaches.

    – Avoid index-based investing.
    – Index funds lack downside protection.

    – They move fully with markets.
    – No human judgement is applied.

    – Actively managed funds adjust allocations.
    – They protect better during volatility.

    – Skilled managers add value over cycles.

    » Direct funds versus regular funds clarity
    – Regular funds offer guidance and discipline.
    – Ongoing review is critical at this stage.

    – Direct funds require self-monitoring.
    – Errors can be costly near retirement.

    – Behaviour management matters more than cost.
    – Professional handholding reduces mistakes.

    – Use mutual fund distributors with CFP credentials.

    » Tax awareness on mutual funds
    – Equity mutual fund LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed.
    – Tax rate is 12.5 percent.

    – Short-term equity gains face 20 percent tax.
    – Debt mutual fund gains follow slab rates.

    – Plan withdrawals tax efficiently.
    – Do not churn unnecessarily.

    » Withdrawal sequencing in retirement
    – Start withdrawals from surplus funds first.
    – Use rental income for regular expenses.

    – Keep retirement accounts untouched initially.
    – Delay withdrawals improves longevity.

    – Insurance maturity inflows can fund later years.

    » Medical and health planning
    – Medical inflation is a major risk.
    – Ensure adequate health cover.

    – Review coverage every three years.
    – Build separate medical contingency fund.

    – Avoid dipping into equity during emergencies.

    » Estate and succession clarity
    – Assets are large and diverse.
    – Proper nominations are critical.

    – Draft a clear Will.
    – Review beneficiaries periodically.

    – Avoid family disputes later.

    » Psychological comfort and risk control
    – You are financially strong.
    – Avoid fear-driven decisions.

    – Avoid chasing returns.
    – Stability matters more now.

    – Keep plans simple and review yearly.

    » Finally
    – Yes, your assets are sufficient for retirement.
    – Discipline must continue.

    – Control expenses during transition years.
    – Avoid large lifestyle upgrades.

    – Focus on asset allocation, not market timing.
    – Your retirement future looks secure.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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