Dear Kanchan, I am asking for your support as I am in a self confusion if I am doing an abnormal behaviour & if so what should I do, if not then as a professional do you come across my type of behaviour I am a 45 year old man from Assam working in bangalore , we have moved in here about 6 yrs ago before corona. I am married for 20 yrs now & a father of kids 18 & 19 yrs old going to college. I work in a mid senior position in corporate with the usual office pressure. I try my best to balance my family ,guide my kids, financial management, office but I am a person of few friends. Now one point which I think I need to say before telling my issue. I have not told anybody about it or discussed. I had a very different fantasy ( at least I feel) from my childhood, I used to fantasize in childhood that my mom is having sex with others( other then my dad) ,but NEVER fantasized she is having sex with me or me even seeing her doing sex with others, this used to give me excitement as I think most young boys/men need. This changed once I got married , though we had /have a very good & regular sex life but many time I will fantasize my wife ( instead of my mom as before) having sex with others , me not even watching. I dont know if I am unique or many guys have this sort of fantasy. I feel we have a good family life with my wife a housewife ( we had an arranged marriage)but she has many friends within our society & outside. I try level best to balance but it was not always possible given my own office load to accompany her for all places she wanted to go, some places she went with her friends but many a times she had to give up due to lack of accomplice. In early 2022 my wife met a man in a friend's children birthday party , he being an unmarried telegu guy 4-5 yrs older then me. He is from the sales team of a company but could not get married ( or wants to get married) because he is taking care of his aged mom & aunt. My wife told me about him & also that he has sent a Facebook request which she accepted, slowly they started talking especially about places where one could get good things, since he was in bangalore for long he will provide her good information, many a times I also asked her to ask from him for guidance. In mid 2022 my wife asked him to come to our place when I was at home, it was a casual meet across coffee. but from that day I dont know why I used to get a feeling about fantasizing this guy having sex with my wife. I never spoke or let anyone know about my fantasy. I did not do anything either. Now after this many times he will take her to places where directions were not enough , he introduced her to some of his friends & even to his mom & aunt in 1 year time many times he will take her to his friends birthday , puja . She click photos etc which she shows me & since we dont have common friends he even posts them in his Whatsapp status, in many photos they are too close physically. Now on reading this anyone will say a normal man will never allow this to happen & I should have put my foot down , shouted at them broke the relationship & if they did not listen go for divorce but maybe because of my above fantasy when ever she came to take permission/inform I will always be excited thinking that my wife is going around with a man only fearing or asking them to be careful that our close people/neighbours dont come to know as this will make tongues wag which they kept good till now. I will also read there whatsapp chats ( without her knowledge) & not all the talks will be like friends, this gave me added fantasy/excitement. Our family relationship has not at all changed in the last 3-4 yrs she is doing all her work & we are having normal sexual relationship. But for him I see he gets a woman like a long distance wife without marrying. Now my queries am I being abnormal? I am not gaining anything ( except fantasy excitement) . If I am so what should I do? I am in command I think I can stop it now but should I? Every one is happy & both my wife & this man's short term needs are getting fulfilled but certainly I am worried if breaking the stereotype am I inviting future uncontrolled disaster? please guide me

Ans: Go for 2nd attempt

Ans: Yes can do short courses on that area and look out for job or try to make money out of it. For short courses you do not require a degree. Can look at the various online platforms to do the course.

Ans: It is advisable to join a good offline coaching institute or seek guidance from a personal mentor rather than relying on online platforms; online options may be kept only as a secondary choice. From our side, we generally do not recommend online platforms for learning, especially at the Class 10 level, as their disadvantages outweigh the limited benefits. However, the final decision rests with you. One point is unclear from your query: who suggested joining online courses or platforms? If this were your own decision, we recommend reconsidering it. If someone else advised you, please ask them for clear reasons. Once you decide, kindly inform us of your final decision.


Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Ans: Chances are slim, but they exist for lower-preference tech branches at DTU/NSUT.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Ans: Arya, Here are three viable career pathways for your well-being and professional fulfillment. PATHWAY 1: COMPLETE CA WITH WELL-BEING BOUNDARIES - Pursue CA completion while fundamentally restructuring your approach to eliminate mental health damage. Study 2-3 hours daily with proper breaks, maintain exercise and social connections, and reframe CA as personal achievement rather than societal validation. After CA Inter completion, pursue a two-year articleship in a firm emphasizing work-life balance. Simultaneously prepare for RBI Grade B (eligible next year). This dual-track approach means you achieve the credential validating your capability while building alternative career options. Your mental health recovery becomes the primary success metric. RBI Grade B then becomes your long-term career anchor ensuring sustainable lifestyle. This transforms CA from a burden into a valuable resume credential. PATHWAY 2: STRATEGIC GOVERNMENT JOB FOCUS (RECOMMENDED) - Focus exclusively on SSC CGL (Income Tax Inspector) preparation for May/June 2026, targeting immediate government employment security. This establishes stable career with predictable work hours and excellent job security within weeks. Maintain CA credential eligibility for future enhancement without present pressure. Once employed, you regain financial stability and mental clarity to reassess CA completion interest authentically. This approach honors your original CA dream while respecting that pursuing it under current mental health conditions is unwise. Next year, you become eligible for RBI Grade B with government experience, expanding future options. This pathway prioritizes present mental health and stability while preserving your aspirations as optional future enhancement. PATHWAY 3: GOVERNMENT SERVICES FIRST, THEN SPECIALIST CREDENTIALS BASED ON INTEREST
Secure government employment as immediate step, then explore which professional credential genuinely aligns with your interests after gaining work experience. Rather than choosing between CA, SSC CGL, and RBI now while mentally exhausted, establish financial security first. Spend 12-24 months in government role observing which areas genuinely interest you and whether CA aligns with your authentic goals. This sequential approach respects that major decisions should not be made during mental health crises. You regain clarity through actual work experience rather than examination pressure. This pathway honors your need for well-being while allowing genuine purpose-alignment discovery. IMMEDIATE 10 ACTION STEPS (Next 3 Months) - Step 1: Mental Health Professional Support (Optional. NOT Mandatory). Consult a mental health professional within one week to assess current state and develop evidence-based coping strategies. This is the foundation for all other decisions. Step 2: Clarify Your Personal Values - Spend time identifying YOUR values (not your parents'): Do you prioritize work-life balance, security, autonomy, or prestige? Write these explicitly. Ask: "If no one judged me, what would I choose?" This reveals whether anxiety stems from authentic values conflict or external pressure. Step 3: Assess Your Realistic Study Capacity - Honestly evaluate sustainable daily study hours without triggering mental health relapse. If realistic maximum is 2 hours, structure accordingly. Choose one examination path based on this honest capacity, not ideal expectations. Step 4: Create Personal Success Metrics - For each pathway, list YOUR metrics for success (not society's): improved mental health, adequate sleep, maintaining social connections, skill development. Ignore prestige metrics. This shifts success definition from external validation to internal well-being. Step 5: Seek Mentorship from Aligned Role Models - Identify professionals who: (1) achieved what you're considering, (2) demonstrate work-life balance, (3) made non-traditional choices successfully, (4) support your well-being. Seek their genuine experience, not public versions. Filter out opinions from those not meeting these criteria. Step 6: Communicate with Family About Your Well-Being - Have dedicated conversation: "My mental health is the primary metric. I'm making the decision optimizing my well-being first. I need your support for whichever path I choose." Set boundaries on unsolicited advice. Emphasize that supportive presence is what helps you most. Step 7: Prepare Flexibly for Two Options Maximum - Prepare study materials for maximum two options simultaneously (e.g., SSC CGL and CA Inter basics). Allocate 60% study hours to primary focus, 30% to secondary. By May, reassess and finalize choice. This reduces decision paralysis by building optionality. Step 8: Establish Non-Negotiable Well-Being Practices - Schedule daily: 30 minutes physical activity, 7-8 hours sleep, one weekly social activity, 10 minutes meditation. Track these in a simple chart. Treat these as exam requirements, not luxuries. These practices reduce anxiety measurably. Step 9: Document Your Strengths and Past Achievements - Create detailed list of accomplishments: CA Foundation cleared, B.Com completed despite challenges, overcoming failure and trying again, managing family expectations. Review this whenever fear of judgment arises. Your worth is already proven. Step 10: Schedule Final Decision Review in Late April - Set late April 2026 as decision date for final exam choice. Between now and then, gather information, recover mentally, clarify values. By April 15, finalize your pathway for May with realistic preparation plan. This prevents premature decisions and ensures informed choice. PREFERENCE ORDER: FIRST PREFERENCE: PATHWAY 2 (STRATEGIC GOVERNMENT JOB FOCUS) - This pathway optimally balances your concerns while prioritizing mental health recovery. Securing SSC CGL establishes government employment security, stable income, and predictable work schedule within weeks. This reduces anxiety significantly and provides foundation for future decisions. You maintain optional CA credential for future enhancement without present pressure. Once employed, you regain mental clarity to reassess CA interest authentically. This honors your original dream while respecting current mental health realities. You prove capability through competitive government selection, eliminating judgment concerns. Your parents gain assurance through visible job security, reducing family pressure. Next year, you become eligible for RBI Grade B with enhanced profile. This transforms anxiety from "choose now or fail permanently" to "establish security, then enhance at sustainable pace." SECOND PREFERENCE: PATHWAY 3 (GOVERNMENT FIRST, THEN CREDENTIALS) - This pathway postpones irreversible decisions until mental recovery and clarity are achieved. Securing government employment provides stable income and structured environment for mental health recovery. After 12-24 months of work experience, you decide CA completion authenticity from actual knowledge rather than anxiety-driven pressure. This avoids both scenarios you fear: abandoning CA under pressure (clarity through experience) or continuing despite disinterest (clarified through actual work). Financial stability supports independent decision-making without parental influence. This sequential approach respects that major decisions deserve optimal mental state. Your regret risk decreases because May decision focuses on securing employment (straightforward), not choosing between complex competing options. THIRD PREFERENCE: PATHWAY 1 (COMPLETE CA WITH WELL-BEING BOUNDARIES) - This pathway honors your original aspiration while restructuring the harmful environment. It's viable only if you genuinely want CA (not from pressure), can realistically maintain limited study hours without guilt, and have robust family support. The advantage is proving capability and eliminating "what if" regrets. However, this carries highest risk because CA environment historically damages mental health. Choose this only if: (1) mental health professional confirms stability, (2) you secure work-life balance focused firm, (3) you've separated YOUR desire from social expectations, (4) you understand this requires next-level self-care. If you have doubts, Pathways 2 or 3 are safer. OVERCOMING SOCIAL JUDGMENT AND MAINTAINING SELF-WORTH - Your career validity depends on authentic well-being and values alignment, not others' opinions. When parents or relatives judge your decision, remember their criticism reflects their limited information, not your actual capability. You are gathering actual data (mental health assessment, skill testing, job market research); they recite inherited beliefs. When you see CA friends succeeding, remember you're comparing incomplete information. LinkedIn versions hide burnout extensively. Their path is irrelevant to your optimal path—you have different mental health baselines and aspirations. Recognize that choosing a different path because one damages your well-being is the strongest demonstration of self-knowledge and courage. The strongest leaders made unconventional choices society initially questioned. Write daily affirmations contradicting anxiety: "My mental health proves intelligence. My choice reflects my values. My well-being is my achievement. My worth is not determined by examinations." This practice reduces anxiety significantly within weeks. Remember that only you will live your career consequences. Your parents want your happiness, but they express love through inherited prestige frameworks. You can honor their care while respectfully choosing your own path. Your mental health recovery is your success metric. Everything else follows. You possess the clarity, intelligence, and resilience to navigate this decision. The next three months are for building foundation, not permanent decisions under pressure. You are not failing—you are learning and growing. That is genuine strength. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: No, your verified documents from last year are NOT valid. Dropper candidates must undergo fresh document verification this year through official KEA verification centers. For Clause A: January 20 to February 20, 2026 (11 AM–4 PM) at your college. For other clauses (most droppers): May 2026 at KEA, 18th Cross, Bangalore, or designated helpline centers. Book your verification slot online at cetonline(dot)karnataka(dot)gov(dot)in after completing your KCET application. Carry original documents (10th/12th marks cards, seven-year study certificate countersigned by BEO/DDPI, caste/income certificates with RD numbers if applicable, Aadhaar card, and passport photos). Receive a verification slip after completion—essential for counseling eligibility. Without this slip, you cannot enter your college choices in the allotment process, regardless of exam performance. You are strongly advised to review the Karnataka Examination Authority (KEA) Information Bulletin 2026 and official guidelines for detailed procedural instructions and compliance requirements. All the BEST for Your KCET-2026 Exam & for Your Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: Shashikant Sir, Aerospace Engineering: Three Viable Career Pathways for Your Son - Comprehensive Analysis with College Recommendations. Before presenting the three pathways, note that recommendations assume an expected JEE rank of 15,000-30,000 (competitive for top private colleges), career preference for technical and practical-based learning rather than research-focused work, flexibility to pursue Mechanical or Electrical as backup options, and initial uncertainty regarding sector interest. PATHWAY 1: AEROSPACE-CORE SPECIALIST ROUTE - This pathway positions your son as a specialized aerospace engineer targeting HAL, ISRO, DRDO, Airbus, or Boeing. The primary college recommendation is Manipal Institute of Technology (Aeronautical Engineering), followed by VIT Vellore Aerospace. Both offer dedicated aerospace curricula covering aerodynamics, propulsion, structures, and avionics—essential for core sector roles. Manipal's aerospace program demonstrates 60-80% placement with salaries ranging from Rs. 7-25 LPA and recruiters including DRDO, ABB, and Altair Engineering, with hands-on laboratory work, wind tunnels, and industry-aligned design projects. An M.Tech degree is highly recommended post-BTech for PSU and defence roles, with gateway M.Tech programs at IIT Madras (Aerodynamics) and IIT Bombay (Propulsion/Structures) enabling ISRO entry, delivering average salaries of Rs. 10-18 LPA in the PSU sector with government job security and professional prestige. Manipal's specialized aerospace program aligns with your son's technical interests and directly prepares students for core aerospace roles with strong DRDO and HAL placement emphasis. PATHWAY 2: FLEXIBLE TECHNICAL ENGINEER ROUTE - This pathway maximizes BTech placement outcomes without requiring a mandatory M.Tech degree, prioritizing immediate career stability with excellent salary growth potential. The primary college recommendation is BITS Pilani (Mechanical Engineering), which offers strategic flexibility superior to specialized aerospace programs. Although BITS does not offer a dedicated aerospace major, the Mechanical engineering program provides aerospace electives covering structures, flight mechanics, and aerodynamics while offering broader industry optionality. BITS delivers a median salary of Rs. 16.15-18 LPA with 98% placement rate, exceeding most Manipal aerospace placements. BTech mechanical graduates from BITS successfully secure roles in aerospace firms through electives and project work, automotive design at Tesla and Maruti, and defence manufacturing—all achievable without an M.Tech degree. Your son gains practical design skills coupled with a strong placement ecosystem. The strategy involves completing a BTech while securing two to three quality internships at DRDO and Tata Advanced Systems, combined with professional certifications in CAD, CFD, and CATIA software, securing entry-level roles at Rs. 8-12 LPA with realistic progression to Rs. 15-20 LPA within five years without pursuing an M.Tech. BITS Mechanical provides practical flexibility, stronger brand recognition, broader career optionality reducing sector-specific risk, and strong BTech placements significantly reducing M.Tech pressure. PATHWAY 3: EMERGING TECH AND STARTUP ACCELERATION ROUTE - This pathway leverages aerospace engineering principles into India's fastest-growing sectors including space startups, autonomous systems, and defence technology. The primary college recommendation is VIT Vellore (Aerospace Engineering) paired with entrepreneurship and startup incubation focus. VIT's competitive advantage includes 105+ recruiters with an average placement salary of Rs. 9.9 LPA across engineering streams, combined with vibrant startup culture. Aerospace BTech graduates from VIT find high-demand roles at Skyroot Aerospace and AgniKul Cosmos (space startups) and autonomous vehicle firms, with salaries ranging from Rs. 10-15 LPA plus equity compensation options. Your son's preference for practical learning aligns well with startup engineering requirements emphasizing CAD design, structural analysis, and real-world problem-solving without theoretical research burden. The pathway involves completing a VIT BTech in Aerospace Engineering, securing a summer internship at an aerospace startup, and either receiving a pre-placement offer or pursuing an MBA specializing in Aerospace Entrepreneurship. Startup salary progression typically advances from Rs. 8 LPA upon graduation to Rs. 15+ LPA within three years with substantial equity upside. VIT's ecosystem supports startup access and emphasizes practical learning, while India's 20+ aerospace startups offer genuine equity and growth potential beyond traditional career hierarchies. COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS OF COLLEGES - BITS Pilani (Mechanical Engineering) offers partial aerospace specialization through electives, 98%+ placement rate, average BTech salary of Rs. 16.15-18 LPA, excellent international brand recognition, limited direct aerospace recruiter access, good mechanical laboratory infrastructure, low M.Tech dependency, high career flexibility, annual costs of Rs. 3-4 LPA, and moderate startup culture. Manipal Institute of Technology (Aeronautical Engineering) provides full aerospace curriculum, 60-80% placement rate, average BTech salary ranging from Rs. 7-25 LPA, good international brand, extensive access to core aerospace recruiters including DRDO and ABB, excellent specialized infrastructure with wind tunnels and avionics laboratories, high M.Tech dependency, limited career flexibility, annual costs of Rs. 2.63 LPA, and lower startup culture. VIT Vellore (Aerospace Engineering) features full aerospace curriculum, 85%+ placement rate, average BTech salary of Rs. 9.9 LPA, good international brand, access to diverse recruiters including Deloitte and HCL, good shared laboratory infrastructure, medium M.Tech dependency, medium career flexibility, annual costs of Rs. 1.98-2.01 LPA, and high startup culture. M.TECH NECESSITY: CRITICAL ANALYSIS - An M.Tech degree becomes essential when pursuing PSU or defence sector roles at HAL, ISRO, and DRDO, targeting research and R&D positions, specializing in advanced aerospace domains such as propulsion systems and flight control, and applying to global aerospace firms like Honeywell and Boeing. An M.Tech remains optional for startup and entrepreneurship roles where direct experience is prioritized, automotive sector positions, defence manufacturing private firms, and consulting roles. For your son's situation, a realistic career scenario without an M.Tech involves completing a BTech (earning Rs. 4-8 LPA initially), followed by two to three years of internships or contract roles, and reaching a senior engineer position earning Rs. 12-15 LPA by age 26-28. Alternatively, pursuing an M.Tech involves completing the BTech (Rs. 4-8 LPA entry), followed by an IIT M.Tech (entering at Rs. 6-12 LPA), and reaching a senior role earning Rs. 15-20 LPA by age 25-26. An M.Tech degree accelerates career progression by one to two years with a salary premium of Rs. 3-5 LPA, but is not mandatory for securing decent placement if your son pursues internships strategically. FINAL RECOMMENDATION AND PREFERENCE ORDER - Pathway 1 (Aerospace-Core Specialist) is optimal if a defence or PSU sector career is definite, with Manipal Aeronautical Engineering followed by an IIT M.Tech securing Rs. 10-18 LPA PSU role by age 26. Pathway 2 (Flexible BTech) is optimal if sector preference remains uncertain, allowing BITS Mechanical with targeted internships to generate Rs. 15-20 LPA employment without M.Tech delays, while maximizing career flexibility. Pathway 3 (Startup and Emerging Tech) is optimal if your son possesses entrepreneurial mindset and innovation focus, with VIT Aerospace paired with startup internships generating Rs. 10-15 LPA entry-level positions plus equity by age 24. The recommended preference order is: First preference is Pathway 2 (BITS Pilani Mechanical) for optimal risk-reward balance through strong placements, extraordinary flexibility, practical learning aligned with his preferences, and minimal M.Tech pressure. Second preference is Pathway 1 (Manipal Aerospace) if sector commitment to defence roles is firm. Third preference is Pathway 3 (VIT Aerospace plus Startup focus) for candidates possessing entrepreneurial orientation and risk tolerance. ACTIONABLE NEXT STEPS FOR YOUR SON: Your son should clarify his sector preference within two weeks by determining whether he seeks defence or PSU certainty (Pathway 1), prefers maximum flexibility (Pathway 2), or possesses startup excitement (Pathway 3). He should focus JEE and CUET preparation by targeting a rank below 15,000 for BITS Pilani, below 20,000 for Manipal and VIT, and securing competitive BITSAT and VITEEE cutoff scores as backup options. In parallel, he should initiate domain exploration through enrollment in free CAD courses using Fusion 360 and CATIA, actively follow aerospace startups via YouTube (Skyroot and AgniKul updates), connect with senior students from target colleges via LinkedIn, and attend virtual webinars addressing aerospace industry careers. Once admitted, his internship strategy should involve securing an aerospace startup internship during the summer before his third year (offering Rs. 5,000-10,000 monthly compensation plus learning), engaging in a DRDO or HAL project during the third year through institutional tie-ups, and positioning himself with "work experience" that reduces M.Tech pressure. SALARY PROJECTIONS BY AGE AND PATHWAY - At age 22 following BTech graduation, Pathway 1 generates Rs. 4-8 LPA, Pathway 2 generates Rs. 8-12 LPA, and Pathway 3 generates Rs. 8-10 LPA. By age 25 (post-M.Tech or three years experience), Pathway 1 achieves Rs. 10-12 LPA, Pathway 2 reaches Rs. 12-15 LPA, and Pathway 3 earns Rs. 12-15 LPA. At age 28 (five years experience), Pathway 1 generates Rs. 15-20 LPA, Pathway 2 achieves Rs. 15-18 LPA, and Pathway 3 earns Rs. 15-25 LPA. By age 30 in senior roles, Pathway 1 generates Rs. 20-30 LPA, Pathway 2 achieves Rs. 18-25 LPA, and Pathway 3 potentially reaches Rs. 20-40+ LPA. Your son now possesses three research-backed pathways with realistic salary projections and specific college recommendations. The ultimate choice depends entirely on his sector confidence, risk appetite, and long-term career vision. All the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

Ans: Yes, you can take admission to NITs only if you had Maths as a core subject and qualify JEE Main. However, having it merely as an additional subject may make you ineligible, depending on your board’s subject classification. It is highly recommended to check the brochure published by NTA on its official website for any updates to the admission criteria or changes in the admission process.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

Ans: Hi
your 59.8% is acceptable for:
NITs
IIITs
GFTIs
Since you belong to reserved category.