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Married 37 with 2 kids, in love with someone else – how to leave a non-working alcoholic husband?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |580 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Vandhana Question by Vandhana on Mar 03, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Iam married and have two daughters my husband not working and full drinks I love with another person and age is 30 My age 37

Ans: Dear Vandana,
The most important question is not just about the new person but about what you truly want for yourself and your daughters. If you are staying in your marriage out of fear, guilt, or societal pressure, it will continue to drain you. If you are choosing the other man just because he gives you what your husband doesn’t, you need to be sure it is love and not just a reaction to your pain.

Before making any decisions, take time to reflect. Do you see a future where you rebuild your marriage, or is it beyond repair? Are you financially stable enough to stand on your own if you decide to leave? What example do you want to set for your daughters about love, respect, and self-worth?

No one should live in emotional suffering, but running from one relationship to another without clarity can lead to even more confusion. If your marriage cannot be saved, then consider ending it for your own well-being rather than staying in a broken relationship while being emotionally invested elsewhere. Whatever choice you make, let it be one that brings you peace, self-respect, and a future you can embrace with confidence.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1590 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello madam, i m 32 year married women, my husband love more than anything, he is good in everything, he take care of me, he bring me whatever i want, he is very good in bed. But i dont love him. Before marriage i had boyfriend, he never accepted me and assured he will marry me, so i decided to marry my husband in 2019. Till oct 2022 i had communication with my ex boyfriend, but when he got married he stopped calling me and i also stoped thinking about him. Lately i meet guy in my office he is 23, music teacher, not so good looking, not completed graduation, not financial strong but i developed feeling for him. I lied to him about my marriage, to get close to him. Once my husband caught me doing wrong, told me to not do. But still i want to continue and want to live with this guy. I want to divorce and live with young guy. I am doing correct or not please suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The fact that you are asking me whether it is correct or not shows that you are absolutely questioning yourself...
You yourself said that your husband loves you more than anything...then what makes you go around in circles searching for love and attention outside? Obviously you are unable to appreciate what you have...when you can't see that you have a stable life, all you think of doing is thinking of the boyfriend who did not accept you and the young boy who all of 23 is immature and financially unstable with who you want to live with!
Are things described in a nutshell now? You are free to make your choices but also know that you will have to bear the consequences.
At 23,
What sort of a life ahead he visualized for himself?
Does it include you?
What is the guarantee that he will not meet younger women later on?
And if you wish to start a family considering that he is already 23, does he have the capability to support you and the baby?
- Have you considered all of this?
Kindly step up for yourself and start thinking rather than running around in a scattered way looking for someone else to make you happy...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1590 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 20, 2024Hindi
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Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |322 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2025Hindi
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Hello Sir, At present I am appearing Class 12 boards. I want to do research work in human psychology as my career. In which discipline I should do my Bachelors for the same? Is doing MBBS is the only way to reach out in research field? Thanks
Ans: Hi,
Kindly formulate your query in a detailed manner so that the experts on Rediff can provide you with better solutions. If you don’t provide enough information, it will be difficult for them to assist you, as the gurus need to make informed predictions to answer your question. This platform is more transparent than others because you can see the profiles of the experts available here. Therefore, be open and provide precise details. Please note that the platform does not require personal information, and you can post your questions anonymously if you prefer.

Undergraduate (UG) degrees provide foundational knowledge, including how to conduct research. In postgraduate (PG) studies, you generally build on those basics. After completing your PG studies, you can engage in research, either full-time or by pursuing a PhD.

An MBBS degree is also just a basic qualification and is not the only gateway into the research field. You can conduct research in a variety of fields, including arts.

If you are particularly interested in human psychology, gather basic information on the topic and proceed accordingly. There are various aspects of human psychology, so consider which area you would like to specialize in and plan your path from there.

ALL THE BEST

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO.

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Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |322 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2025Hindi
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Ravi Mittal  |577 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 05, 2025
Relationship
I have a crush on my colleague recently. We started as a friend but one day we get drunk on one of colleague house. We talk about life and love. I asked about his ex. He told his past relationship story how they break up. I also shared some of my past situationship. We live in a same colony. So we came back home together getting drunk I told him you can lean ur head on my shoulder. And he suddenly lean his head on my shoulder and he was sleeping and I wake him up when we reached our destination. He takes me to my house and I suddenly hold his wrist. I don't why did I hold him and next morning he yes hi (call my name)how are you I didn't respond properly I'm just like yeah good after that he seems to avoid me a lot he didn't talk to me much I caught him looking at me sometimes but it might be coincidence. I think he doesn't like me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it must all be very confusing but I would suggest not jumping to conclusions. You think he doesn’t like you, but he might be thinking the same since you did not respond to him properly the next day. That could have triggered his current behavior. If you have feelings for him or if you even miss him as a friend, I would recommend you to clear the air with him. Just talk it out- you can explain how things got a little heavy the other day and that’s why you didn’t speak to him nicely and apologize if that made him feel bad. If even after that he continues to avoid you, then you will have better clarity.

Hope this helps.

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1147 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Apr 18, 2025

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