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Married 37 with 2 kids, in love with someone else – how to leave a non-working alcoholic husband?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |566 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Vandhana Question by Vandhana on Mar 03, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Iam married and have two daughters my husband not working and full drinks I love with another person and age is 30 My age 37

Ans: Dear Vandana,
The most important question is not just about the new person but about what you truly want for yourself and your daughters. If you are staying in your marriage out of fear, guilt, or societal pressure, it will continue to drain you. If you are choosing the other man just because he gives you what your husband doesn’t, you need to be sure it is love and not just a reaction to your pain.

Before making any decisions, take time to reflect. Do you see a future where you rebuild your marriage, or is it beyond repair? Are you financially stable enough to stand on your own if you decide to leave? What example do you want to set for your daughters about love, respect, and self-worth?

No one should live in emotional suffering, but running from one relationship to another without clarity can lead to even more confusion. If your marriage cannot be saved, then consider ending it for your own well-being rather than staying in a broken relationship while being emotionally invested elsewhere. Whatever choice you make, let it be one that brings you peace, self-respect, and a future you can embrace with confidence.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1563 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2024Hindi
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Hello madam, i m 32 year married women, my husband love more than anything, he is good in everything, he take care of me, he bring me whatever i want, he is very good in bed. But i dont love him. Before marriage i had boyfriend, he never accepted me and assured he will marry me, so i decided to marry my husband in 2019. Till oct 2022 i had communication with my ex boyfriend, but when he got married he stopped calling me and i also stoped thinking about him. Lately i meet guy in my office he is 23, music teacher, not so good looking, not completed graduation, not financial strong but i developed feeling for him. I lied to him about my marriage, to get close to him. Once my husband caught me doing wrong, told me to not do. But still i want to continue and want to live with this guy. I want to divorce and live with young guy. I am doing correct or not please suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The fact that you are asking me whether it is correct or not shows that you are absolutely questioning yourself...
You yourself said that your husband loves you more than anything...then what makes you go around in circles searching for love and attention outside? Obviously you are unable to appreciate what you have...when you can't see that you have a stable life, all you think of doing is thinking of the boyfriend who did not accept you and the young boy who all of 23 is immature and financially unstable with who you want to live with!
Are things described in a nutshell now? You are free to make your choices but also know that you will have to bear the consequences.
At 23,
What sort of a life ahead he visualized for himself?
Does it include you?
What is the guarantee that he will not meet younger women later on?
And if you wish to start a family considering that he is already 23, does he have the capability to support you and the baby?
- Have you considered all of this?
Kindly step up for yourself and start thinking rather than running around in a scattered way looking for someone else to make you happy...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1563 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 20, 2024Hindi
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Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |151 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 03, 2025Hindi
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We are couple with 1 child. However, struggling with schools for my 11 year old who has autism, can talk and severe adhd. Schools are saying that they cannot enrol him yet due to behaviour and the fact that he wont listen to anyone and behave badly. He is smart in academics but likes to do things as he wishes creating issues. he struggles with peer communication and sitting in one place and will slouch and fall from the chair. Are there any options that we can look at. As his IQ is normal we feel he will struggle in a special school as well.
Ans: I understand how difficult and frustrating this situation must be for you as parents. Your child is bright and capable, but his challenges with behavior, attention, and sitting still are making school enrollment tough. Finding the right environment that supports both his academic strengths and his needs is essential. Inclusive schools with special education support or Montessori-style learning environments may offer a more flexible and understanding approach. Occupational therapy can help increase his sitting tolerance, posture, and focus, while behavioral therapy can support emotional regulation and social interactions. You might also consider discussing the option of a shadow teacher with school staff, as one-on-one assistance in a classroom can make a big difference. In case you don't get access to an occupational therapist, approach a physiotherapist with an understanding of Sensory Integration, as they can also help with improving his body awareness and tolerance for sitting. You are not alone in this journey, and with the right support, your child can thrive. I encourage you to connect with a special educator or developmental therapist to explore the best options for him. I request you to be strong and determined. for your son.

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Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |151 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

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