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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My husbands 25 year old niece is too obsessed with him. She shares everything and discusses every bit of her work with him. They go to gym together, classes together. She is married and stays with us with her husband. Most of the time she is around and just does not give space. For eg. she keeps on asking questions to my husband or has some or the other topic to discuss. My husband is also very attentive to her every need. I don’t find this right. And it upsets me to next level. Is my feeling right? Please help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why are you having grown-ups who can earn and fend for themselves in your home?
You want space, then make space by politely asking them to move out. Even they need to learn to live with one another whereby the niece can rely on her husband rather than on your husband. Obviously it also suggests that your husband is either being ignorant of her fancy for him OR he's enjoying all the attention. Whatever the case, it will be healthy for both the couples here to maintain a healthy distance so discuss this with your husband and tell him how uncomfortable you feel with her around you all the time. He may call your doubt as foolish, but stay firm and request him that together you both convey to them to find a space and move out. You may even offer to search for accommodation for them so that they don't feel that they are being rudely thrown out.
But, be firm with this...

All the best!

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am 37yrs old, married for 6yrs now, my wife - 35yrs, having a kid of 14 months.We both are working. My wife is very dedicated person, and takes care of household . I respect her this attitude and try to contribute in whatever possible ways. My problem is - my brother in law(elder than my wife, and unmarried currently) is staying since 1.5yrs with us. Due to personality differences, it is not easy at all to get along in day to day activities with him. And, my wife gets upset if I hint her - to ask him stay separately. Please help me, how to make her realize this - as it is causing stress and it's not easy at all to continue like this for long.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am assuming that your brother-in-law is your wife's brother which explains why she may not want to ask him to move out.
But, if there is a general discomfort and personality clashes, I guess you must express your concerns to your wife. Too much of being on each others' faces only causes stress around the house.
See if there can be a WIN-WIN in this situation where the brother-in-law can visit over the weekends or your wife can visit him when she wishes to. That way, she will not feel the pain of asking him to move out.
If this also doesn't work out, do make her aware that this is putting a strain on the marriage. If she cannot talk about this without it upsetting her or understanding the impact of her decision to have her brother at home, then she needs to know that she has begun to take her marriage for granted.
So, talk to her on moving towards the WIN-WIN...that seems like the only way out through this situation.

All the best!

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

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Dr Nagarajan Jsk

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NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Mar 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 13, 2025Hindi
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Career
I am a bsc graduate and in two months I will be 23 years old but mbbs is my dream and goal. I would like to purse it now and preparing for neet exam. Can you give you advice on this sir
Ans: ELIGIBILITY RELATED TO AGE:
Eligibility for appearing in NEET (UG), as per related Regulations of NMC
and DCI are as follows:-
5.1.1. He/she has completed 17 years of age at the time of admission or will
complete that age on or before 31 December of the year of his/her
admission to the first year of the Undergraduate Medical Course.
Accordingly, the lower age limit shall be as under:
For Candidates of General (UR)/General-EWS born on or
before
31.12.2008
For Candidates of SC/ST/OBCNCL/
PwBD/PwD Category
5.1.2. Upper age limit: As per Letter No. U-11022/2/2022-UGMEB,
dated 09 March 2022 received from National Medical
Commission (NMC), Under Graduate Medical Education Board
(UGMEB) regarding the upper age limit, there is no upper age
limit.

ELIGIBILITY RELATED TO COURSE:
CODE: 06
B.Sc. Examination of an Indian University provided that
he/she has passed the B.Sc. Examination with not less than
two of the subjects Physics, Chemistry, Biology (Botany,
Zoology)/Biotechnology and further that he/ she has passed
the earlier qualifying examination with Physics, Chemistry,
Biology, and English.

KINDLY NOTE: Based on the facts and guidelines surrounding NEET, I would like to offer the following comments.
There is no need to worry about the age limit because the NTA is not concerned about your upper age limit. However, your educational qualifications must match the requirements. You fall under the Code 6 category.

If you have completed your undergraduate degree in Science (which you didn’t mention, but I’m predicting), consider whether stating your BSc is worthwhile. Ultimately, your eligibility depends on matching your Higher Secondary Certificate (HSC) qualifications. If your HSC does not align with the requirements, you will not be eligible to appear for NEET. If you are eligible based on your HSC, then focus on your HSC score rather than Code 6.

Wishing you the best of luck!

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1553 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 07, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I had a very bad past where I was in physical relationship with like 10 guys that was due to the earlier relationship I had where I was being used financially and physically that hurt and me and I got really f***** up in my mind so I started dating guys just for physical relationship then the last guy I was in relationship with I got pregnant with a baby and I aborted it because I did not want to have a future with him and also I did not have confidence to grow that baby. then 4 months later I met my husband I fell in love with him at the first meet and we had physical thing at the very first meet. during the second meet he read the group chat between me and my friends where we spoke bad words ,my husband was not okay with that and he was really feeling bad about it and he started to talk about our break up.I was waiting for my final yr results when I met him soon I got my result then I have to start my internship my husband paid 5 lacs rupees for me but he was anxious that I will be with the friends who I was talking bad words with in college and he wanted to have a breakup and he fighted everyday with that reason .I promised him that I will not be that person anymore and I won't talk to my friends. one day I helped my friend with work for which my husband got angry and he wanted to have a break up and he started to talk about the last guy which I said that he was a friend before and I don't talk to him anymore then he raised question about him and then I told him that I was having a Friends with benefit relationship with him, then things got bitter and he seriously wants break up this time,.everyday he talks to me about that and fights with me I stop going to college .one day I made a suicide attempt and then 2 days after he started talking to me normally. soon again he started asking all those questions about the last guy I have been with, he asked very minute questions about the day and dates and he fighted with me everyday for that. there is a friend of mine who knows everything about my past ,in all these chaos,things got bitter between me and her and we stop talking. one day my husband talked to her and he asked everything about me and he got to know all about my past and he said that he took all the history of my chats ,apps and photos and asked me questions repeatedly and I told him everything completely without hiding anything. then things got messed up. 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I have financial things to take care of because of the money spent for my degree so I was thinking to make a deal either to finish my degree or I wanted my husband to give back the money that was spent for my degree because he said so but then later he started to humiliate my family for expecting money from me and he told that they we just see me as an investment to earn back the money they spent on me. But my family wanted me to complete the degree at the first place.this created a lot of arguments between me and him . Finally,one day my mom approach his family and she wanted me to come with her to complete my degree but my husband was not ok with it and I was still supporting him my mom told that she will die if I didn't complete my degree because that was all that she dreamed for me her entire life. then they sent me to my hometown with my mom to complete my degree. after coming here my husband did not talk to me for 2 days, then he texted me that he does not want to live with me. he told that I and my family were being fake and we were using him and we broke him into pieces and made him go through the pain which he did not deserve. I got really emotional and I told him that I wanted to go back to him. he told me that he will take me to him the next day that he will book a bus for me to reach back to him but he did not contact me the next day .then a day later he started making arguments again this time, he said that he wanted divorce from me because he cannot have a life with me .he told that he does not want to be in my life and our child's life, if I want he can give financial support for my child's growth. I denied the money and I told him that I am not willing for a divorce unless or otherwise he wants to marry another girl then he 3 hrs later, he sent a letter of intent to divorce and I did not reply for it .what should I do now?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As bad or hurtful as it may sound to you, you have simply thrown your life at the mercy of others. They have used you as a puppet only because you have given them permission to do so...past relationships and even now.
What you should do now is:
1. Ask an elder member (not your mother) of the family to intervene and talk to him and his side of the family to see if there is any scope for reconciliation. If there is, then your husband has got to stop playing these games of wanting you one day and then not wanting you the next. It's highly toxic to live with someone who trusts you for a moment and then asks you to prove your innocence the next moment. The two of you will need to get into Intensive Therapy as a couple to put things back together.
2. If there is no scope for reconciliation, please get a good lawyer who can secure the baby's future and yours.

Though you haven't asked me this, for your own good I suggest:
Please understand that no man is going to make you happy. So, depending on them despite the fact that can act toxic, is only draining you mentally and emotionally. Evaluate for yourself what you want from life besides being in relationships constantly. A break from it all will actually help you, you know. At least it will give you sense of how you can be by yourself and what you value the most in your life. Once you get past this stage, you will be stronger to draw boundaries and know how to enforce them. No one will be able to walk over you and you will be able to reclaim your identity.
You come first and your baby is going to need a strong mother raising them. So, step up NOW!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |285 Answers  |Ask -

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1553 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My father in law dislikes my cooking. My husband also feels I can learn a thing or two from my mother in law. Honestly, I am not passionate about cooking or household chores. I can make my tea, fold my clothes, keep my room organised. Beyond that I cannot contribute because I also have a day job. I don't like being compared to other women who can cook, clean, do the dishes and also manage their work. This conversation always leads to arguments at home. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Integrate yourself well into the family; showing interest in cooking and actually doing it are two different things. At times, family members just end up testing you through what you do or not do. Showing interest and in fact praising you mother-in-law and actually learning a dish or two the way she makes it isn't going to hurt you or put a dent in your work life. In fact, they will appreciate that you tried and leave you alone.
Going on a tangent to prove that you have a day job and that you don't like to be compared etc leads to unwanted conversations and arguments. But what is it getting you other than putting you on a spotlight where they target you again. Instead take the spotlight off of you by integrating better; they will leave you alone and in fact even support you. Right now, all this nagging is only to gain your attention and you are giving into it...Integrate...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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