If your husband asks you to wipe off your lipstick or doesn't hold your hand in public, how is it a sign of toxic behaviour? Is there something for us to learn from celeb couple behaviour that applies to our lives?

Ans: A- Dear Anonymous,

It is tricky to identify if your partner is toxic, or to recognize toxic traits but here are some behaviors that are considered toxic in most cases, but these too depend on the context.

• Jealousy- If your partner seems jealous every time you speak to the opposite sex or even of your success, it is ideally considered a toxic trait.
• Controlling- Trying to control how you carry yourself, whom you meet or even your social circle is a clear red flag. In every possible scenario, this is toxic.
• Keeping score- Yesterday you fought, so today your partner feels they are entitled to start a fight, or last week they sorted a fight so this week you should or the ball is in their court. If this is how your partner handles every situation and brings in a sense of competition in your relationship, it can be easily defined as an unhealthy relationship.
• Drama- Does your partner thrive on drama? No amount of love is worth it.
• Cheating- It goes without saying that cheating is a red flag. Not only if your partner has been physically involved with someone else but also if they are building a romantic emotional connection with someone.
• Trust issues- It can happen to the best of us, but if someone is suffering from trust issues, the onus is on them to sort it out instead of doubting their partner's every move.

If your partner exhibits one or all of these traits, it is best you have a clear discussion and point out the habits that are bothering you. But remember, some of these can be harmless based on the situation.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First let’s talk about the not smiling part; that is common for many. It doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything bad. But coupled with the fact that he deletes the couple pics, it does raise a few red flags. I don’t want to outrightly say that it seems fishy but it doesn’t exactly scream green flag either. He might be telling the truth about keeping his family life private but I have to stress on the “might” here. And most importantly, your gut says it’s odd. Usually that happens only when we see other subtle signs. Please be cautious and if you ever think something more is going on, don’t hesitate to communicate your concerns. It’s the unsaid things that build up more tension in a marriage.

Hope this helps.

Ans: I am scared to speak my mind. you said this. This will end up becoming a relationship you will not wish to be in.

Ans: I am scared to speak my mind. - you shared this, if this is your state of affairs - the answer is on the drawing board - it reads - it will not end up being a healthy relationship.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are scared to speak your mind out, then you are obviously in a relationship that is suffocating you...It can be toxic at few and many levels. Evaluate what this relationship is giving you that you are still in it; the moment you know that moving out might offer you your freedom and space to breathe, you may start to think differently about your boyfriend and the relationship.
Look to yourself for answers; as Gurus, we will not be able to make decisions for you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
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