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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 03, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Ravi Question by Ravi on Aug 01, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

how to make strong relation with in arrange marriage?

Ans: Dear Ravi,
There are a few things that might work:
1. Start first by being friends rather than just spouses to one another
2. Learn about each other's likes and dislikes
3. Share about one another's happy and not-so-happy moments
4. Speak about what your goals are in life
5. Understand when your partner wants to start a family or not
6. Find out what he/she thinks about money management
7. Learn to understand each other's desires within and outside the bedroom
8. Travel a lot together
9. Take part in household activities

The above goes for love marriages as well but just that in an arranged marriage, you need to make an effort to welcome the other person into your life and learn all that you can about them.

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 23, 2023

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Relationship
I am in toxcis relationship how to get uot
Ans: Dear Jyoti,

I know it's a hard to break relationship where you have invested so much, and deciding to leave the toxicity is the first step that you have already taken and should be proud of.


Cut Off Contact

It will be crucial for you to cut off contact with your ex once the relationship has ended. Keeping in contact with your ex opens the door to getting back together. Toxic people can be emotionally manipulative and may use emotional blackmail to lure you back in. When you decide to leave your partner, end any form of communication with them unless you share children and need to co-parent. If this is the case, only communicate about the children.

Unfollow Them on Social Media

Seeing your ex across social media will keep the memory of the relationship fresh, so it’s crucial that you block them on your phone and find ways to avoid running into them in person. These actions will set a clear boundary that the toxic relationship is over, and help you stop thinking about them altogether.



Know That You Deserve Better

Months or years of being verbally abused or told you will never find anyone better can wear a person down, and you might start to believe it. But this is not true. Tearing down self-esteem and self-worth is the technique toxic partners use to keep their partner trapped in the relationship. Let “I deserve better!” become your daily mantra, by replacing negative beliefs about your self-worth with positive, affirming ones. You need to move forward for your own mental and emotional well-being.

Seek Professional Help From a Therapist

Depending on the level of seriousness, leaving a toxic relationship can require help in creating a game plan. Confiding in friends and family or finding a therapist ;to speak with can be helpful as well. A good therapist can help you cope, rebuild your sense of self-worth, and address any safety issues. A therapist can be an unbiased resource to guide you and hold you accountable for creating goals and sticking to them.

Build a safety net: If you're thinking of calling it quits, make a plan for how you are going to deal with the transition. Where will you stay? What possessions will you need to bring along? Don’t do this haphazardly. This process should be well thought out.

Set a goal to be independent: If you do not have a career or a way to support yourself, it is time to begin carving this path. Go to school, get training, begin a job (even a low-level or part-time job). Your financial independence is one of the main roads to freedom.

No more secrets. Confide in a family member or friend so that they can help you with the process. If you feel threatened, inform the local authorities that you are going to need help.




Being part of a toxic relationship is extremely detrimental to your self-esteem and mental health. It may take some time before you are ready to be part of another relationship. Don’t rush this. Take time for yourself. To help yourself recover, make time for hobbies. Start working on a pet project or your own business. Take that trip you've always wanted to go on.



Take care of yourself: Getting out of a toxic relationship can be emotionally draining. Take care of yourself by practicing self-care, such as exercise, healthy eating, and getting enough rest. Seek therapy if necessary to work through any emotional trauma from the relationship.

Remember, ending a toxic relationship takes courage, but it's a necessary step towards a happier and healthier life. It's important to recognize your self-worth and prioritize your well-being

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hello I am 41 years old but due to careless in life I can't take decision for marriage but now I am realising something wrong happened i started searching alliance but didn't get I want to be relation soon. Please guide me
Ans: It’s completely okay to have taken time figuring out what you wanted in life. Sometimes we don’t move forward simply because we weren’t ready, or we lacked the clarity or emotional support needed at the time. But that doesn't mean you're behind. Everyone’s timeline is different, and yours is still very much unfolding.

Now that you're feeling ready for a serious relationship, here are a few steps you can take to approach this new chapter with confidence and self-awareness.

Start with clarity. Reflect on what kind of partner you're looking for—not just in terms of age or background, but emotionally and mentally. What values matter to you? What kind of connection are you seeking? Are you open to someone who has been married before? Children? When you’re clear, it becomes easier to recognize the right person when they appear.

At the same time, look inward. Do some emotional housekeeping. Ask yourself: What kind of partner do I want to be? Am I emotionally available? Am I still carrying regret, fear, or pressure about being “late” to marriage? Because entering a relationship out of guilt or urgency often leads to settling. But entering it from a place of self-respect and genuine desire creates something meaningful.

Since you're actively searching, it’s okay to use all tools at your disposal—matrimonial sites, family networks, friends, or even a good matchmaker if culturally appropriate. But be patient and realistic. Finding someone who is also ready, aligned with your values, and emotionally compatible can take time.

Also, try not to let pressure—internal or external—rush you. You don’t need a "perfect" partner; you need someone who sees you, respects you, and is willing to grow with you.

And here’s something to hold on to: many people find love in their 40s, 50s, even later—and those relationships are often more conscious, mature, and fulfilling, because they’re built on real-life experience and emotional wisdom, not just youthful impulse.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11161 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2026

Money
I am 61 self Disciplined minimalist. I am now in SWP segment. 4% SWP and step up SWP are all okay and understandable but much worried on flip side which am often not thinking much. Considering next 30 years block 1. Inflation may also shoot up from 6% to 15% 2. Normally market crash once in 10 years assuming 30% crash 3. Recovery phase may take slow say 5 to 7 years 4. War natural calamities etc influence market once in 7 year 5.expected return may hit bottom from 10% With all this sequential risk, the worry is will my corpus empty earlier should I be with half starving and my SWP is good only in paper or any corrections needs to be done? Because when age grows, expenses can't be reduced, only rebalance the ratio from travel to utility like that So please guide me will my SWP corpus empty earlier, and should I do now as preparedness
Ans: Your concern is very valid and very mature. Most people focus only on returns, but you are thinking about risks like inflation, crashes, and long recovery. This is exactly what protects a retirement plan.

» The Real Risk – Sequence of Returns
Your worry is not wrong.

If market falls early in retirement and you keep withdrawing
Then recovery is slow
Corpus can reduce faster than expected

This is called sequence risk
And yes, this can impact SWP sustainability

But this can be managed with structure, not by stopping SWP

» Inflation Risk – Bigger Than Market Risk

If inflation moves from 6% to even 10–12%, pressure increases
Expenses rise continuously, but corpus may not match

Reality:

Inflation risk is permanent
Market crash is temporary

So your plan must protect against inflation first

» Is 4% SWP Safe?

4% is generally considered reasonable
But not “guaranteed safe” in all conditions

In your scenario (high inflation + poor returns):

4% may become slightly aggressive

Better approach:

Keep flexibility between 3.5% to 4%
Reduce withdrawal slightly during bad market years

» Biggest Protection – Bucket Strategy
This is the most important correction

Divide your corpus into 3 buckets:

Bucket 1 (0–5 years expenses)
Keep in safe instruments (liquid / low risk)
This funds your SWP
Bucket 2 (5–10 years)
Hybrid or balanced funds
Bucket 3 (10+ years)
Equity funds for growth

How this helps:

During crash, you do not touch equity
You spend from Bucket 1
Equity gets time to recover

This directly reduces sequence risk

» Dynamic SWP – Very Important Adjustment
Instead of fixed thinking:

In good years → continue or increase SWP
In bad years → pause increase or reduce slightly

Even a small 5–10% temporary cut:

Greatly increases corpus life

This is practical, not theoretical

» Rebalancing Discipline

Once a year, review allocation
When equity grows → shift some to safe bucket
This “locks gains”

This creates a natural buffer for future crashes

» Extreme Scenario Planning (Your Concern)
You mentioned:

30% crash
5–7 year recovery
High inflation

In such case:

Bucket 1 should cover at least 5–7 years expenses
This is your survival shield

If this is in place:

You will not be forced to sell at loss
Corpus will not empty early

» Expense Behaviour – Practical Reality
You are right:

Expenses don’t reduce easily with age
They only shift (travel → medical, lifestyle → essentials)

So plan should:

Keep medical buffer separately
Not depend on cutting expenses

» Mental Model Shift
Do not think:
“Will my corpus finish?”

Think:
“How do I protect withdrawals during bad phases?”

Because:

Markets recover
But wrong withdrawals during crash cause damage

» Final Adjustments You Should Do Now

Maintain 5–7 years expenses in safe bucket
Keep equity allocation for long-term growth
Use flexible SWP (not rigid)
Rebalance yearly
Be ready to reduce withdrawal slightly in extreme conditions

» Finally

Your fear is not overthinking, it is intelligent thinking
SWP does not fail because of market alone
It fails due to poor withdrawal strategy during bad years

If you structure your buckets and keep flexibility, your corpus can comfortably last 30 years and more without “half starving” situations.

You are already ahead because you are asking the right question at the right time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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