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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 23, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Jyoti Question by Jyoti on Mar 23, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am in toxcis relationship how to get uot

Ans: Dear Jyoti,

I know it's a hard to break relationship where you have invested so much, and deciding to leave the toxicity is the first step that you have already taken and should be proud of.


Cut Off Contact

It will be crucial for you to cut off contact with your ex once the relationship has ended. Keeping in contact with your ex opens the door to getting back together. Toxic people can be emotionally manipulative and may use emotional blackmail to lure you back in. When you decide to leave your partner, end any form of communication with them unless you share children and need to co-parent. If this is the case, only communicate about the children.

Unfollow Them on Social Media

Seeing your ex across social media will keep the memory of the relationship fresh, so it’s crucial that you block them on your phone and find ways to avoid running into them in person. These actions will set a clear boundary that the toxic relationship is over, and help you stop thinking about them altogether.



Know That You Deserve Better

Months or years of being verbally abused or told you will never find anyone better can wear a person down, and you might start to believe it. But this is not true. Tearing down self-esteem and self-worth is the technique toxic partners use to keep their partner trapped in the relationship. Let “I deserve better!” become your daily mantra, by replacing negative beliefs about your self-worth with positive, affirming ones. You need to move forward for your own mental and emotional well-being.

Seek Professional Help From a Therapist

Depending on the level of seriousness, leaving a toxic relationship can require help in creating a game plan. Confiding in friends and family or finding a therapist ;to speak with can be helpful as well. A good therapist can help you cope, rebuild your sense of self-worth, and address any safety issues. A therapist can be an unbiased resource to guide you and hold you accountable for creating goals and sticking to them.

Build a safety net: If you're thinking of calling it quits, make a plan for how you are going to deal with the transition. Where will you stay? What possessions will you need to bring along? Don’t do this haphazardly. This process should be well thought out.

Set a goal to be independent: If you do not have a career or a way to support yourself, it is time to begin carving this path. Go to school, get training, begin a job (even a low-level or part-time job). Your financial independence is one of the main roads to freedom.

No more secrets. Confide in a family member or friend so that they can help you with the process. If you feel threatened, inform the local authorities that you are going to need help.




Being part of a toxic relationship is extremely detrimental to your self-esteem and mental health. It may take some time before you are ready to be part of another relationship. Don’t rush this. Take time for yourself. To help yourself recover, make time for hobbies. Start working on a pet project or your own business. Take that trip you've always wanted to go on.



Take care of yourself: Getting out of a toxic relationship can be emotionally draining. Take care of yourself by practicing self-care, such as exercise, healthy eating, and getting enough rest. Seek therapy if necessary to work through any emotional trauma from the relationship.

Remember, ending a toxic relationship takes courage, but it's a necessary step towards a happier and healthier life. It's important to recognize your self-worth and prioritize your well-being

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Hi, my son has secured an admission in a 2+2 BITS CSE program 2025 at Hyderabad (first 2 years) and Iowa state univ (for next 2 years). Under DASA he can potentially get AI at NITK or ECE at NIT Trichy or CSE in NITW (his CRL rank is 25200). Can you please advise and provide recommendations on what we can choose and reasons? We know 2+2 ISU program is more expensive compared to NIT DASA fees but is it worth the money vis-a-vis doing a B.Tech at NIT and doing a masters in US later? For this rank, what can he get at the said NITs under DASA?
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Under DASA with an All-India CRL of 25,200, he qualifies for: B.Tech AI at NIT Surathkal (AI cutoff: 26,688); B.Tech ECE at NIT Trichy (ECE cutoff: 66,706); and B.Tech CSE at NIT Warangal (CSE cutoff: 46,935). Each NIT features NBA accreditation, experienced PhD faculty, modern labs and strong industry MoUs. NITK AI and NITW CSE boast placement rates above 80% and growing AI/analytics recruitment pipelines, while NIT Trichy ECE records near-75% core-sector placements. Annual DASA fees at NITs range from US $15,000–18,000, significantly lower than BITS-ISU costs, with comparable scholarship opportunities limited.

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Recommendation: Opt for BITS 2+2 CSE if you prioritise world-class international exposure, dual degrees and, top-tier placement networks despite higher fees. Choose a DASA seat at NIT (AI at NITK or CSE at NITW) for cost-effective core engineering training with solid placement and later pursue a US master’s via merit scholarships. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Amrita School of Engineering Chennai, a constituent of Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham (NAAC A++), operates a 13.5-acre hill-campus with state-of-the-art AI, data-science, cybersecurity and cloud labs, and a strong industry-university research ecosystem. Its CSE graduates achieved a 90%+ placement consistency in 2024, with an average package of ?9.2 LPA and participation from 300+ recruiters including TCS, Wipro, Accenture and Amazon. Total tuition fees for B.Tech CSE are ?18 lakhs over four years.

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