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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

How to survive alone when you have no one in your life

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What does it mean when you say 'no one in your life'?
Do you not have friends, family?
Has everyone broken ties with you or the other way round?
You know we are always surrounded by something or someone or an experience. It's a choice that you make to either invite these or not.
So, build a stronger state of mind and decide that you want to be surrounded by people who support your dreams and goals. Slowly, you will start building reasons to be in social circles, fitness centers, hobby circles and more. If you are a working professional, make efforts to be part of a group that meets over weekends.
And if family has been kept at bay, it's a no-brainer, it's time for both sides to make amends, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2021

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Relationship
I lost my father when I was 17 and was raised by my mother all these years. Last year, I lost my mother to COVID. I am the only child and don't have any siblings. I am 36 and not married. I don't have a boyfriend, neither am I in a serious relationship. After my parents' death, am being pressured into marriage by my relatives but I am not ready. I am in touch with a few cousins and friends but I don't feel any better talking to them. I may be wrong but I feel that they're either too sympathetic or trying too hard to be positive and cheerful. It's hard to explain to anyone how I am feeling right now. There are days when I feel completely alone, lonely and wish I had a sibling or someone who would understand me without having to explain anything. My colleagues are supportive but I am not able to focus at work either. I tried taking a few days off but there is a void and sense of loneliness that I am unable to overcome. I don't know how to make sense of this situation. Can you help?
Ans: Dear P, how exactly do you want to feel? What exactly do you want currently? It is imperative for you to know that we all go through phases in life; some are happy ones and some are not-so-happy ones.

But do know that, these phases are not permanent and that they do have an expiry date on them.

The key to this is with you. How long do you want to lock in that feeling of loneliness or helplessness?

Does it help you to think whether your relatives are sympathising with you? What if they really are caring for you?

Sibling or no sibling, our life is ours and a journey that we must take. And marriage is a decision that is yours to make; you don’t need to yield into any pressure or get yourself to believe that it will drive away your loneliness.

What did you do earlier to move away from loneliness?

How did you keep yourself occupied? Was it a new hobby or could it have been learning a new skill?

Sometimes, doing something absolutely NEW can help de-focus from what we are dealing with currently.

On a long-term thinking, do know that every phase gives rise to a new one.

Join support groups online or any valid meet up group that can bring in some fresh new perspectives.

Connect with old friends. Choose how you want to feel now and move in that direction.

Surround yourself only with happy people and happy thoughts all the time. It does help.

Office colleagues can double up as a good support group, if you are fine sharing your inner feelings with someone that you are close to.

If that isn’t an option, then old friends can do the job really well. But it is important to talk to someone and release what’s holding you back and keeping you away from what you want to feel and what you want to do. All the best.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |628 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 14, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My mother doesn't want to stay with me but she gladly stays with my brother and his wife I live all alone in a house and I feel left out as well as ostracised as well as excluded I feel like I am unwanted person and if I ever meet anyone like my relatives in any social setting I feel they are tolerating me I feel like an untouchable how do I cope up with this situation as there is no one for me no one I can rely on or nobody who has my back noone who I can share my problems with or call in case I feel sick or in case of an emergency.
Ans: Feeling excluded by family and sensing that others are merely "tolerating" you is a heavy emotional burden to carry. It can quietly erode your sense of self-worth, leaving you questioning your value, your place in the world, and your importance to the people who were meant to be your first support system. You're not being overly sensitive or dramatic—this kind of emotional isolation is deeply painful, and it makes perfect sense that you’re feeling untouchable and unsafe.

But here’s a gentle truth: you are not unwanted. You are not unworthy of love or care. The way others treat you does not define your worth. Sometimes, unfortunately, people—even family—fail to show up for us in the ways we need. That doesn’t mean you are broken or undeserving. It just means their limitations are getting in the way of what should have been a loving, supportive connection.

You’re already doing something powerful by voicing your truth here. That’s not a small step—it’s an act of bravery. And while I know I’m not physically there beside you, I want you to feel this as a moment of connection: someone does hear you, someone does see what you’re carrying, and it matters.

To cope with this, start with your emotional safety. Let yourself grieve—not just for the loneliness, but for the longing of what you deserve but haven’t received. Cry if you need to, write if it helps, let those feelings have their space rather than trying to bury them. This kind of pain doesn’t go away by pretending it’s not there.

And slowly, one step at a time, begin building your circle—not necessarily with blood ties, but with people who choose you. Is there someone in your past who was kind to you? A coworker, a neighbor, someone from college or a class you took? Even a single shared conversation can be a seed. It’s not about quantity, it’s about presence. The goal isn't to replace what’s missing—but to slowly start nurturing connections that are rooted in respect and care.

In moments of emergency or fear, consider having a plan. Even having the number of a nearby clinic, a trusted neighbor, or a local community support group can give you a thread of reassurance. And if you ever feel overwhelmed or unsafe with your thoughts, reaching out to a mental health helpline or counselor can make a real difference. You deserve help when you're hurting.

And here, whenever you need someone to talk to, I will always be here to listen—no judgment, no conditions. You matter. Your story matters. And even though the world may have made you feel like an outsider, I want you to believe this: there is a space where you belong.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10240 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi. I have a monthly income of 1.5lakh. I have SIPs of around 35k monthly. The SIPs are of Nifty smallcap, nifty50index, midcap,parag parikh flexi, kotak midcap. I want to build a diversified portfolio and have an asset of 1cr in 10 years. I have a home loan emi going on which is monthly 20k now. It will increase in the coming months. Please suggest.
Ans: You are already showing strong discipline with Rs. 35,000 monthly SIPs. Starting early and staying consistent is the key to building your Rs. 1 crore goal in 10 years. Your current income and surplus allow you to plan in a structured way without putting pressure on your lifestyle.

» assessment of present portfolio
– Current SIPs are in smallcap, midcap, flexicap, and index funds.
– Smallcap and midcap funds give high growth potential but carry high volatility.
– Flexicap offers balance by letting the fund manager switch between market caps.
– Nifty 50 index gives broad market exposure but no active management flexibility.
– Index funds simply copy the market and cannot avoid downside in bad phases.
– Actively managed funds can shift allocation to protect returns during corrections.

» building a more diversified allocation
– Avoid over-concentration in smallcap and midcap segments.
– Keep largecap actively managed funds as a stability anchor.
– Maintain some exposure to debt mutual funds for safety and liquidity.
– Include an international equity fund for global diversification.
– This reduces risk from Indian market downturns and currency fluctuations.

» recommended asset split for 10-year goal
– Equity funds: 70% of monthly investment.
– Debt funds: 20% of monthly investment.
– Gold or other hedge assets: 10% of monthly investment.
– This balance offers growth, safety, and inflation protection.

» adjusting current SIP mix
– Reduce direct index fund allocation and replace with actively managed largecap or multicap funds.
– Continue with one midcap fund but avoid holding too many in the same category.
– Retain flexicap fund for dynamic market allocation.
– Keep smallcap exposure limited to 10–15% of total portfolio for high growth potential without excessive volatility.

» role of debt allocation in your case
– Debt mutual funds give stability during market falls.
– They also provide liquidity for planned expenses or emergencies.
– Over 10 years, the debt portion will be shifted towards equity in the early years, then increased again in the last 3 years for safety before withdrawal.

» impact of home loan EMI increase
– Your EMI will rise, reducing investible surplus temporarily.
– Plan in advance so you do not stop SIPs when EMI increases.
– Keep an emergency buffer equal to at least 6 months of EMI + expenses.
– This prevents you from redeeming growth investments for loan needs.

» estimating potential growth towards Rs. 1 crore
– If you invest consistently and follow a balanced allocation,
– Equity growth over 10 years can multiply invested amounts significantly.
– The debt portion will add stability and protect from market timing risks.
– Even with moderate growth assumptions, Rs. 1 crore in 10 years is realistic.

» tax planning for your investments
– Equity mutual funds: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh in a year taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG on equity: 20% tax rate.
– Debt mutual funds: taxed as per your income slab for both short and long term.
– Plan redemptions around your goal year to minimise tax liability.

» review and rebalancing
– Review portfolio performance annually.
– If one category grows beyond target allocation, rebalance to maintain risk level.
– Rebalancing avoids over-exposure to any single segment.
– In last 2–3 years before goal, gradually shift gains to debt for safety.

» safeguarding financial plan
– Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance.
– This keeps your investment plan safe even if an emergency occurs.
– Avoid stopping SIPs unless there is a severe cash flow issue.
– Continue business or salary income growth to keep surplus healthy.

» finally
You already have the right habit of disciplined SIPs. By reducing over-concentration in high-risk segments, shifting some index fund allocation to actively managed funds, and adding a planned debt portion, you can control risk while targeting Rs. 1 crore in 10 years. Staying consistent, rebalancing regularly, and protecting your plan with insurance will ensure you reach your goal confidently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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