Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

How to survive alone when you have no one in your life

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What does it mean when you say 'no one in your life'?
Do you not have friends, family?
Has everyone broken ties with you or the other way round?
You know we are always surrounded by something or someone or an experience. It's a choice that you make to either invite these or not.
So, build a stronger state of mind and decide that you want to be surrounded by people who support your dreams and goals. Slowly, you will start building reasons to be in social circles, fitness centers, hobby circles and more. If you are a working professional, make efforts to be part of a group that meets over weekends.
And if family has been kept at bay, it's a no-brainer, it's time for both sides to make amends, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 14, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
My mother doesn't want to stay with me but she gladly stays with my brother and his wife I live all alone in a house and I feel left out as well as ostracised as well as excluded I feel like I am unwanted person and if I ever meet anyone like my relatives in any social setting I feel they are tolerating me I feel like an untouchable how do I cope up with this situation as there is no one for me no one I can rely on or nobody who has my back noone who I can share my problems with or call in case I feel sick or in case of an emergency.
Ans: Feeling excluded by family and sensing that others are merely "tolerating" you is a heavy emotional burden to carry. It can quietly erode your sense of self-worth, leaving you questioning your value, your place in the world, and your importance to the people who were meant to be your first support system. You're not being overly sensitive or dramatic—this kind of emotional isolation is deeply painful, and it makes perfect sense that you’re feeling untouchable and unsafe.

But here’s a gentle truth: you are not unwanted. You are not unworthy of love or care. The way others treat you does not define your worth. Sometimes, unfortunately, people—even family—fail to show up for us in the ways we need. That doesn’t mean you are broken or undeserving. It just means their limitations are getting in the way of what should have been a loving, supportive connection.

You’re already doing something powerful by voicing your truth here. That’s not a small step—it’s an act of bravery. And while I know I’m not physically there beside you, I want you to feel this as a moment of connection: someone does hear you, someone does see what you’re carrying, and it matters.

To cope with this, start with your emotional safety. Let yourself grieve—not just for the loneliness, but for the longing of what you deserve but haven’t received. Cry if you need to, write if it helps, let those feelings have their space rather than trying to bury them. This kind of pain doesn’t go away by pretending it’s not there.

And slowly, one step at a time, begin building your circle—not necessarily with blood ties, but with people who choose you. Is there someone in your past who was kind to you? A coworker, a neighbor, someone from college or a class you took? Even a single shared conversation can be a seed. It’s not about quantity, it’s about presence. The goal isn't to replace what’s missing—but to slowly start nurturing connections that are rooted in respect and care.

In moments of emergency or fear, consider having a plan. Even having the number of a nearby clinic, a trusted neighbor, or a local community support group can give you a thread of reassurance. And if you ever feel overwhelmed or unsafe with your thoughts, reaching out to a mental health helpline or counselor can make a real difference. You deserve help when you're hurting.

And here, whenever you need someone to talk to, I will always be here to listen—no judgment, no conditions. You matter. Your story matters. And even though the world may have made you feel like an outsider, I want you to believe this: there is a space where you belong.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10872 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 27, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello, I am a 52-year-old man. I have never been married and I live with my mother. I recently lost my job and I am currently not working. I often feel lonely and do not have much to do. As I grow older and weaker, I worry that no one will be there to care for me. Do you have any advice for living alone and planning for the future? Should I think about booking a place in a care home in advance?
Ans: You Have Taken a Very Important First Step

You have shared your situation honestly.
That itself shows your clarity and courage.
Many people avoid facing these life questions.
But you are thinking about your future early.

That is not weakness. That is strength.
You want to plan better, live with dignity, and stay independent.

Let us now explore how you can move forward.

Emotional Health Is as Important as Financial Health

Feeling lonely is not a personal failure.
This happens to many people, especially in later stages.

But loneliness can affect your health, confidence and energy.
So emotional well-being must also be planned.

Here are some steps to take for emotional stability:

Join community-based senior citizen clubs or men’s support groups.

Volunteer in social or religious organisations nearby.

Spend more time in parks or public libraries.

Attend free local workshops, health camps, or senior hobby circles.

Join digital groups where people share similar life stories.

You can also try to reconnect with old friends or classmates.
If possible, talk to a professional therapist.
You may get clarity and courage to move forward with strength.

Mental peace is your foundation.
Every other area will build better if your mind is clear.

Income Loss Needs Calm Planning, Not Panic

Job loss can feel heavy.
It creates fear about future income and expenses.
But worry will not help. Proper planning will.

Let’s assess your situation with these key questions:

Do you have any emergency savings?

Do you have PF, gratuity, or old investments?

Is your mother financially dependent on you fully?

Are you receiving any rental or pension income?

Do you have any LIC or traditional policies?

If you hold LIC or ULIP or investment-insurance policies,
Those should be reviewed immediately.
Surrendering those and reinvesting in mutual funds may be wise.

A Certified Financial Planner can help analyse that for you.
You need a structure that gives monthly income and liquidity.

Don’t delay this review. You need clarity to act.

Your Mother’s Care Also Needs to Be Protected

You are staying with your mother.
She must be elderly now.
Her health and care will also need some preparation.

Here are some points to check:

Does she have health insurance now?

If not, you must protect her with basic medical fund.

Keep Rs. 1 lakh separately only for her emergencies.

If she is eligible for government schemes, do enrol her.

Also, try to simplify her banking and mobile usage.
Digital tools can help you track and manage her needs.

If possible, keep one trusted neighbour or cousin informed.
That one person can be a backup support if needed.

Don’t carry the whole burden silently.
Even a small circle can be helpful.

Start Thinking of Your Own Medical and Long-Term Needs

Age 52 is the right age to start preparing for old age.
You are not too late. But don’t wait more.

Think about your personal health and mobility:

Do you have any current medical issues?

Are you insured with a good health policy now?

Is your health insurance individual or employer-provided earlier?

If you had employer cover, that will now be inactive.
You need your own health policy as early as possible.

Start with a basic policy, then increase later.
Premiums rise with age. So earlier is better.

Also, start creating a medical emergency fund of Rs. 3 to 5 lakhs.
Keep this in a liquid mutual fund or sweep-in FD.

Health events can come anytime.
With insurance + fund, you are protected.

Thinking About Senior Care Homes and Assisted Living

Your concern about future care is valid.
Being alone during old age can be hard.

Booking a care home now is not necessary.
But understanding options early is smart.

Here’s how to approach it:

Visit senior homes in your city or nearby areas.

Understand their admission process, fees, services and reviews.

Make a short list of 2–3 places that feel reliable.

Keep a folder ready with documents and preferences.

Do not pre-book unless needed.
But do keep your research ready and saved.

Also keep your close relatives or executor informed about your wishes.
Keep a Will and a Letter of Instruction ready for the future.

That gives you peace of mind.
Your future care will be on your terms.

Investing for Monthly Income and Stability

Without a job, you need a reliable source of income.
This can come from mutual fund income plans.

These funds are actively managed and adjust based on market cycles.
They work better than bank FDs or index funds.

Index funds just follow the market blindly.
They don’t protect during down periods.

Actively managed mutual funds, under CFP guidance,
Give better returns with risk protection.

Also, avoid direct mutual fund plans.
Direct plans may seem low-cost.
But you lose expert guidance and timely reviews.

Investing through Certified Financial Planner under regular plan
Gives you goal-based strategies, rebalancing and personal support.

At this stage, regular plan is safer and more useful.
Peace of mind is more important than tiny cost savings.

Start a plan that provides a monthly payout from your capital.
You can choose SWP (systematic withdrawal plan) through mutual funds.
This provides income while your money keeps growing.

Your financial plan must be 360-degree:

Health planning

Emergency buffer

Monthly income

Retirement fund

Estate planning

Don’t look for just one solution.
A full system will keep you secure.

Other Important Steps to Take Now

Create a file of important documents: Aadhaar, PAN, passbook, insurance, medical reports.

Make a nomination for all accounts and investments.

Write a basic Will even if assets are small.

Avoid loans or liabilities unless for emergency.

Cut unnecessary expenses until income stabilises.

If possible, try part-time, freelance or online projects.

You can also teach tuitions, do typing work, or sell skills online.
Any small income brings energy and confidence.
Keep trying different options till something works.

Finally

Your future is still in your hands.
Age 52 is not the end. It is a beginning of the next phase.

You have taken the first step with courage.
Now move ahead step-by-step with planning.

Keep your mind strong, your routine simple and your support circle active.
Financial discipline, medical readiness and emotional peace – these three must be your focus.

Care homes are one part of planning. Not the only part.
Start building your self-care system today.

And get expert help through a Certified Financial Planner.
That will make your journey smoother, structured and peaceful.

You deserve a safe, strong and independent future.
That is 100% possible with proper planning.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10872 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir/Ma'am, I need some guidance and advice for continuing my mutual fund investments. I am a 36 year old male, married, no kids yet and no debts/liabilities as such. I have couple of savings in PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and long term investing in direct stocks. I recently started below mentioned SIPs for long term to grow wealth. Request you to review the same and let me know if I should continue with the SIPs or need to rationalize. Kindly also advice on how to invest a lumpsum amount of around 6lacs. invesco small cap 2000 motilal oswal midcap 2700 parag parikh flexicap 3000 HDFC flexicap 3100 ICICI prudential largecap 3100 HDFC large and midcap 3100 HDFC gold etf FOF 2000 ICICI Pru equity and debt fund 3000 HDFC balanced advantage fund 3000 nippon india silver etf FOF 2000
Ans: You already built a solid foundation. Many investors delay planning. But you started early at 36. That gives you a strong advantage. You have no liabilities. You have long term thinking. You also have diversified savings like PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and direct stocks. That shows clarity and discipline. This approach builds wealth with less stress over time.

You also started systematic investments in equity funds. That is a positive step. Your selection covers multiple categories like large cap, mid cap, small cap, flexi cap, hybrid and precious metals. So the intent is right. You are trying to create a broad portfolio. That gives balance.

» Your Portfolio Composition Understanding
Your current SIP list includes:

Small cap

Mid cap

Flexi cap

Large cap

Large and mid cap

Hybrid category

Gold and Silver FoF

Equity and Debt allocation fund

Dynamic hybrid fund

This shows you are trying to cover many segments. But too many categories can create overlap. When there is overlap, you get confusion during review. It also makes portfolio discipline difficult. You may think you are diversified. But the holdings inside may repeat. That reduces efficiency.

Your portfolio now looks like:

Equity dominant

Hybrid for stability

Metals for hedge

So the broad direction is fine. But simplifying helps in long-term habit building.

» Fund Category Duplication
You hold:

Two flexi cap funds

One large and mid cap fund

One pure large cap fund

One mid cap fund

One small cap fund

Flexi cap funds already invest across large, mid, small. Then large and mid also overlaps. So the large cap exposure gets repeated. That may not add extra benefit. But it increases monitoring complexity.

So I suggest rationalising. Keep one fund per category in core. Keep satellite space for only high conviction.

» Core and Satellite Strategy
A structured portfolio follows core and satellite method.

Core portfolio should be:

Simple

Long term

Stable

Satellite portfolio can be:

High growth

Concentrated

Based on your thinking level, you can structure like this:

Core funds:

One large cap

One flexi cap

One hybrid equity and debt fund

One balanced advantage type fund

Satellite funds:

One mid cap

One small cap

One metal allocation if needed

This division gives clarity. You can continue SIPs with review every year. No need to stop and restart often. That reduces behavioural mistakes.

» Your Current SIP List Review with Suggested Streamlining

You can consider continuing:

One flexi cap

One large cap

One mid cap

One small cap

One balanced advantage

One equity and debt hybrid

You may reconsider keeping both flexi caps and both gold silver funds. One of each category is enough. Because too many funds do not increase returns. It complicates tracking.

Precious metal funds should not be more than 5 to 7 percent in your portfolio. This is because metals are hedge assets. They do not create compounding like equity. They act as protection during cycles. So keep them small.

» How to Use the Rs 6 Lakh Lump Sum
You asked about lump sum investing. This is important. Lump sum should not go fully into equity at one time. Markets move in cycles. So use a staggered method. You can invest the lump sum through STP (Systematic Transfer Plan). You can keep the amount in a liquid fund and set STP toward your chosen growth funds over 6 to 12 months.

This reduces timing risk. It also creates discipline. So your Rs 6 lakh can be deployed gradually. You may use 50% towards core equity funds and 30% toward satellite growth category. The remaining 20% can go into hybrid category. This gives balance and comfort.

» Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
One important point many investors miss. Direct funds look cheaper. But they demand deep knowledge, discipline, and behaviour control. Most investors lose more through emotional selling and wrong timing than they save on expense ratio.

With regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor with Certified Financial Planner qualification, you get guidance, structure and correction. The advisory discipline protects you during market extremes. That is more valuable than a small saving in expense ratio.

A personalised planner also tracks portfolio drift, rebalancing need and category shifts. So regular fund investing gives long-term benefit and behaviour coaching.

» Actively Managed Funds over Index or ETF
Some investors choose index funds or ETF thinking they are simple and cheap. But they ignore drawbacks.

Index funds or ETF will not avoid weak companies in the index. They will invest whether the company grows or struggles. There is no fund manager decision making. So when markets are at peak, index funds continue aggressive exposure. In downturns also they fall fully. There is no cushion.

Actively managed funds work with research teams. They can avoid bad sectors. They can shift allocation based on market and economy. Over long term, this gives better alpha and stability. So continuing with actively managed funds creates better wealth compounding.

» SIP Continuation Strategy
Once the rationalisation is done, continue SIPs every month without interruption. Pause and restart behaviour damages compounding power. SIP works best when you go through all market cycles. You benefit more during corrections because cost averaging works.

So continue SIP amount. You can also review SIP increase every year based on income. Increasing SIP by 10 to 15 percent every year helps you reach large corpus faster.

» Asset Allocation Based Approach
One key point in wealth creation is having the right asset mix. Equity gives growth. Hybrid gives balance. Metals give hedge. Debt gives safety. Your asset allocation should stay aligned to your risk profile and time horizon.

Since you are young and have long term horizon, higher equity allocation is fine. But as time moves, rebalancing is important. Rebalancing protects gains and restores allocation.

So review your asset allocation every year or during major life events like child birth, home buying or retirement planning.

» Behaviour Management
Many portfolios fail not due to bad funds. They fail due to bad decisions. Selling during correction. Stopping SIP when market falls. Chasing past return performance. These mistakes reduce wealth.

Your discipline so far is good. Continue to stay patient during volatility. Equity rewards patience and time.

» Financial Goals Clarity
Since you have no children now, you can decide your long-term goals. Typical goals may include:

Retirement

Future child education

Dream lifestyle purchase

Health care reserves

When goals are clear, investment purpose becomes stronger. So you can map each fund category to goal horizon. Short-term goals should not use equity. Long-term goals should use equity with hybrid support.

» Role of Review and Monitoring
Review once in a year is enough. Frequent review can create anxiety. Annual review helps check:

Fund performance

Expense drift

Category relevance

Allocation balance

Then adjust only if needed. This progress helps you stay confident and aligned.

» Taxation Awareness
Equity mutual funds taxation rules are:

Short term (below one year holding) taxable at 20 percent

Long term (above one year holding) gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxable at 12.5 percent

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.

So always hold equity funds for long term. That reduces tax impact and gives better growth.

» SIP Increase Plan
You can create a simple plan to increase SIP over time. For example:

Increase SIP at every salary increment

Increase SIP during bonus time

Use rewards or extra income for investing

This habit accelerates wealth. So by the time you reach 45 to 50 years, your investments could reach a strong level.

» Insurance and Protection
Before investing large, ensure you have term insurance and health insurance. If not already done, it is important. Insurance protects wealth. Without insurance, even a small medical event can impact investment plan. So review this part also. Since you are married, cover both.

» Wealth Behaviour Mindset
You are already disciplined. Just keep these simple principles:

Invest without stopping

Review once a year

Avoid funds overlap

Follow asset allocation

Avoid reacting to media noise

This helps you reach long term milestones.

» Finally
You are on the right track. Only fine tuning and simplification is needed. Your discipline is visible. Your portfolio will grow well with structure, patience and periodic review. Use the Rs 6 lakh with STP approach. And continue SIP with rationalised categories.

With time and consistency, wealth creation becomes effortless and peaceful. You just need to stay committed and avoid overthinking during market movements.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x