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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1781 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

How to survive alone when you have no one in your life

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What does it mean when you say 'no one in your life'?
Do you not have friends, family?
Has everyone broken ties with you or the other way round?
You know we are always surrounded by something or someone or an experience. It's a choice that you make to either invite these or not.
So, build a stronger state of mind and decide that you want to be surrounded by people who support your dreams and goals. Slowly, you will start building reasons to be in social circles, fitness centers, hobby circles and more. If you are a working professional, make efforts to be part of a group that meets over weekends.
And if family has been kept at bay, it's a no-brainer, it's time for both sides to make amends, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |657 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 14, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My mother doesn't want to stay with me but she gladly stays with my brother and his wife I live all alone in a house and I feel left out as well as ostracised as well as excluded I feel like I am unwanted person and if I ever meet anyone like my relatives in any social setting I feel they are tolerating me I feel like an untouchable how do I cope up with this situation as there is no one for me no one I can rely on or nobody who has my back noone who I can share my problems with or call in case I feel sick or in case of an emergency.
Ans: Feeling excluded by family and sensing that others are merely "tolerating" you is a heavy emotional burden to carry. It can quietly erode your sense of self-worth, leaving you questioning your value, your place in the world, and your importance to the people who were meant to be your first support system. You're not being overly sensitive or dramatic—this kind of emotional isolation is deeply painful, and it makes perfect sense that you’re feeling untouchable and unsafe.

But here’s a gentle truth: you are not unwanted. You are not unworthy of love or care. The way others treat you does not define your worth. Sometimes, unfortunately, people—even family—fail to show up for us in the ways we need. That doesn’t mean you are broken or undeserving. It just means their limitations are getting in the way of what should have been a loving, supportive connection.

You’re already doing something powerful by voicing your truth here. That’s not a small step—it’s an act of bravery. And while I know I’m not physically there beside you, I want you to feel this as a moment of connection: someone does hear you, someone does see what you’re carrying, and it matters.

To cope with this, start with your emotional safety. Let yourself grieve—not just for the loneliness, but for the longing of what you deserve but haven’t received. Cry if you need to, write if it helps, let those feelings have their space rather than trying to bury them. This kind of pain doesn’t go away by pretending it’s not there.

And slowly, one step at a time, begin building your circle—not necessarily with blood ties, but with people who choose you. Is there someone in your past who was kind to you? A coworker, a neighbor, someone from college or a class you took? Even a single shared conversation can be a seed. It’s not about quantity, it’s about presence. The goal isn't to replace what’s missing—but to slowly start nurturing connections that are rooted in respect and care.

In moments of emergency or fear, consider having a plan. Even having the number of a nearby clinic, a trusted neighbor, or a local community support group can give you a thread of reassurance. And if you ever feel overwhelmed or unsafe with your thoughts, reaching out to a mental health helpline or counselor can make a real difference. You deserve help when you're hurting.

And here, whenever you need someone to talk to, I will always be here to listen—no judgment, no conditions. You matter. Your story matters. And even though the world may have made you feel like an outsider, I want you to believe this: there is a space where you belong.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11101 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 27, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello, I am a 52-year-old man. I have never been married and I live with my mother. I recently lost my job and I am currently not working. I often feel lonely and do not have much to do. As I grow older and weaker, I worry that no one will be there to care for me. Do you have any advice for living alone and planning for the future? Should I think about booking a place in a care home in advance?
Ans: You Have Taken a Very Important First Step

You have shared your situation honestly.
That itself shows your clarity and courage.
Many people avoid facing these life questions.
But you are thinking about your future early.

That is not weakness. That is strength.
You want to plan better, live with dignity, and stay independent.

Let us now explore how you can move forward.

Emotional Health Is as Important as Financial Health

Feeling lonely is not a personal failure.
This happens to many people, especially in later stages.

But loneliness can affect your health, confidence and energy.
So emotional well-being must also be planned.

Here are some steps to take for emotional stability:

Join community-based senior citizen clubs or men’s support groups.

Volunteer in social or religious organisations nearby.

Spend more time in parks or public libraries.

Attend free local workshops, health camps, or senior hobby circles.

Join digital groups where people share similar life stories.

You can also try to reconnect with old friends or classmates.
If possible, talk to a professional therapist.
You may get clarity and courage to move forward with strength.

Mental peace is your foundation.
Every other area will build better if your mind is clear.

Income Loss Needs Calm Planning, Not Panic

Job loss can feel heavy.
It creates fear about future income and expenses.
But worry will not help. Proper planning will.

Let’s assess your situation with these key questions:

Do you have any emergency savings?

Do you have PF, gratuity, or old investments?

Is your mother financially dependent on you fully?

Are you receiving any rental or pension income?

Do you have any LIC or traditional policies?

If you hold LIC or ULIP or investment-insurance policies,
Those should be reviewed immediately.
Surrendering those and reinvesting in mutual funds may be wise.

A Certified Financial Planner can help analyse that for you.
You need a structure that gives monthly income and liquidity.

Don’t delay this review. You need clarity to act.

Your Mother’s Care Also Needs to Be Protected

You are staying with your mother.
She must be elderly now.
Her health and care will also need some preparation.

Here are some points to check:

Does she have health insurance now?

If not, you must protect her with basic medical fund.

Keep Rs. 1 lakh separately only for her emergencies.

If she is eligible for government schemes, do enrol her.

Also, try to simplify her banking and mobile usage.
Digital tools can help you track and manage her needs.

If possible, keep one trusted neighbour or cousin informed.
That one person can be a backup support if needed.

Don’t carry the whole burden silently.
Even a small circle can be helpful.

Start Thinking of Your Own Medical and Long-Term Needs

Age 52 is the right age to start preparing for old age.
You are not too late. But don’t wait more.

Think about your personal health and mobility:

Do you have any current medical issues?

Are you insured with a good health policy now?

Is your health insurance individual or employer-provided earlier?

If you had employer cover, that will now be inactive.
You need your own health policy as early as possible.

Start with a basic policy, then increase later.
Premiums rise with age. So earlier is better.

Also, start creating a medical emergency fund of Rs. 3 to 5 lakhs.
Keep this in a liquid mutual fund or sweep-in FD.

Health events can come anytime.
With insurance + fund, you are protected.

Thinking About Senior Care Homes and Assisted Living

Your concern about future care is valid.
Being alone during old age can be hard.

Booking a care home now is not necessary.
But understanding options early is smart.

Here’s how to approach it:

Visit senior homes in your city or nearby areas.

Understand their admission process, fees, services and reviews.

Make a short list of 2–3 places that feel reliable.

Keep a folder ready with documents and preferences.

Do not pre-book unless needed.
But do keep your research ready and saved.

Also keep your close relatives or executor informed about your wishes.
Keep a Will and a Letter of Instruction ready for the future.

That gives you peace of mind.
Your future care will be on your terms.

Investing for Monthly Income and Stability

Without a job, you need a reliable source of income.
This can come from mutual fund income plans.

These funds are actively managed and adjust based on market cycles.
They work better than bank FDs or index funds.

Index funds just follow the market blindly.
They don’t protect during down periods.

Actively managed mutual funds, under CFP guidance,
Give better returns with risk protection.

Also, avoid direct mutual fund plans.
Direct plans may seem low-cost.
But you lose expert guidance and timely reviews.

Investing through Certified Financial Planner under regular plan
Gives you goal-based strategies, rebalancing and personal support.

At this stage, regular plan is safer and more useful.
Peace of mind is more important than tiny cost savings.

Start a plan that provides a monthly payout from your capital.
You can choose SWP (systematic withdrawal plan) through mutual funds.
This provides income while your money keeps growing.

Your financial plan must be 360-degree:

Health planning

Emergency buffer

Monthly income

Retirement fund

Estate planning

Don’t look for just one solution.
A full system will keep you secure.

Other Important Steps to Take Now

Create a file of important documents: Aadhaar, PAN, passbook, insurance, medical reports.

Make a nomination for all accounts and investments.

Write a basic Will even if assets are small.

Avoid loans or liabilities unless for emergency.

Cut unnecessary expenses until income stabilises.

If possible, try part-time, freelance or online projects.

You can also teach tuitions, do typing work, or sell skills online.
Any small income brings energy and confidence.
Keep trying different options till something works.

Finally

Your future is still in your hands.
Age 52 is not the end. It is a beginning of the next phase.

You have taken the first step with courage.
Now move ahead step-by-step with planning.

Keep your mind strong, your routine simple and your support circle active.
Financial discipline, medical readiness and emotional peace – these three must be your focus.

Care homes are one part of planning. Not the only part.
Start building your self-care system today.

And get expert help through a Certified Financial Planner.
That will make your journey smoother, structured and peaceful.

You deserve a safe, strong and independent future.
That is 100% possible with proper planning.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10973 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 03, 2026

Career
My daughter failed in class 9th and now she has enrolled in NIOS secondary . There is lot of free time . What can she do keep herself busy?
Ans: Before I answer your question, Vikas Sir, I want to ensure that your daughter doesn't spend more than 45 minutes a day on her phone or other electronic devices. If your daughter becomes addicted, she risks eye strain, headaches from blue light, poor posture, weight gain from inactivity, sleep issues from late-night use, and eating problems. It can also hurt her mind by making her depressed and anxious (27% more likely), making it difficult to concentrate and study, making her feel lonely and isolated from less real interaction, making her feel low self-esteem from comparison traps, and making her stressed and irritable from dopamine crashes.

Even if both parents work, keep communication open to boost her confidence—know what she loves. She should study 4-5 hours daily using NIOS books/SWAYAM and Class 10 mocks with the Pomodoro technique (25-30 mins study, 5-10 mins break) to stay focused. Add 30 minutes of skills like coding/typing or Duolingo English if interested, plus 10 minutes of yoga, hobbies (gardening/cooking/drawing/poems), and walks/cycling for fitness and fun. Finally, join NIOS WhatsApp groups for doubts and help at home and track weekly goals with rewards. Don't force anything—let her choose what excites her most! All the BEST for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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Pankaj

Pankaj Vyavahare  |20 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor, Life Coach - Answered on Apr 03, 2026

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |657 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Mam, why do women always have to adjust in a marriage? Why don't our parents ever accept that men can be at fault too? Whenever I tell my mother or mother in law about something hurtful my husband said or did, she tells me to forgive and move on. He never apologises or thinks he has done anything wrong. My husband and I are married for 11 years, but he never admits he has done anything wrong. Isn't it disrespectful and unfair to ask a woman to adjust and ignore without listening to both sides of the story?
Ans: You’re right. It’s unfair. And it’s exhausting.
Women are told to “adjust” because it’s easier for families to keep peace than to hold men accountable. Your mother and mother-in-law are not really judging right or wrong — they’re choosing convenience over fairness.

But that doesn’t make it correct.

If your husband never apologises, never reflects, and you are always the one expected to move on, then this is not adjustment — this is imbalance.

And the real issue is not your parents anymore.
It’s that your husband has learned he doesn’t have to take responsibility, because the system around him supports that.

You don’t need to argue with your parents to prove your point.
You need to stop silently accepting a pattern that hurts you.

You don’t have to fight.
But you also don’t have to keep absorbing everything.

A simple shift is this:
instead of explaining again and again, just say calmly —
“This hurt me. I’m not okay with ignoring it.”

And then don’t rush to normalise things immediately.

Respect in a marriage doesn’t come from adjusting more.
It comes when the other person realises you won’t keep accepting less.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |715 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 30, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My bf checks my phone without permission. I am in a two-year relationship with my boyfriend, and initially everything felt perfect, but now he constantly criticises what I wear, who I talk to, and even checks my phone's notifications. Last week, he created a scene at my friend’s birthday party because I was talking to a male colleague. He even blamed me for “disrespecting” the relationship and did not speak to me for two days. I feel mentally exhausted trying to explain but he says he is too committed and wants to know if I am genuinely interested in a life ahead with him. Part of me is also scared of losing him because he was there for me during a difficult phase in my life. When I explain something and he apologises, I see a side to him which makes it harder to leave. My friends who have not met him feel this is a toxic red flag behaviour . Do you think they could be right or is this something that can improve with time? How do I understand if this relationship is turning emotionally abusive?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how exhausting it can be to be constantly doubted when you are not doing anything wrong. Well, your friends’ opinion, while a bit harsh, is not completely wrong. It is a toxic pattern and it needs to be checked if you want to have a healthy relationship. You need to have an open discussion about this with him; tell him how it makes you feel whenever he suspects you of some wrongdoing. Also ask him why does he feel this way so often when every time it is proven that you are loyal to the relationship and him. It is important to understand what is the root cause of this mistrust. This is the only way to move ahead with this relationship and not lose your sanity. If, even after the talk, he continues to exhibit the same behavioural pattern, I would recommend you rethink the relationship because it won’t be an easy life, where you have to constantly prove your innocence. Relationships aren’t based just on love; it needs mutual trust and respect to grow.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10973 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 24, 2026Hindi
Career
Hy Sir, I am a PCB student who passed HSC in 2024 with 45% marks. Now I want to pursue Computer Science Engineering but I don't have Maths as a subject and my improvement exam option is also not available. So I am planning to drop a year and appear for the Isolated Maths exam in July/August 2026 to become eligible for MHT-CET PCM in 2027. I wanted to ask whether this pathway is valid for MHT-CET and CSE admissions. Also, will the 2 year gap and two separate results (HSC 2024 and Maths 2026) create any problem during admission process? And if my MHT-CET score is good, can I still get admission in a decent CSE college despite this situation? If possible, please also suggest some good colleges I should target. Additionally, if this plan does not work out for any reason, I wanted to ask whether BCA or BSc IT can also lead to a good career in the tech field in the future? Because I am very confused between these options and I really want to make the right decision at this stage of my life. I would really appreciate your guidance on this Sir.
Ans: Do you have any specific reasons for your low score in HSC? If you really care about the field you choose, all programs and domains are good. You should also keep improving your technical and non-technical skills, and your career success will depend on how well you network through professional social media like LinkedIn and how often you research job markets. Coming to your questin, yes, your path works, as you asked. Isolated Maths (July/Aug 2026) makes you MHT-CET PCM eligible (Physics+Maths required); most colleges will accept a 2-year gap and separate marksheets if you are ready with Maths before verification. If you really want to get into top engineering colleges like PICT/VIT Pune, COEP/SPIT Mumbai, and others, you need to score above the 96th or 97th percentile. If you don't feel very confident about MH-CET, it's better to choose BCA or BSc It. As I said before, your CGPA isn't the only thing that matters for success in your career; your other skills and qualities are also important. It would also be a good idea to apply to or register with 3–4 more well-known private engineering colleges in and out of Maharashtra State. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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