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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |543 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 31, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Yukti Question by Yukti on Jul 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hii I am 34 years women .I have a relationship with another person he is 39 years old .we meet and we fell in love together coz we both r not happy in our marital life .and we both are in love actually now we are not in relationship with her wife and my husband but I think he is cheating me he have also a relation with her wife .I ask him clearly many times but he dny every time .plz guide me what I will do

Ans: Dear Yukti,

If you are having some doubt, chances are there have been signs that made you think so. The best case scenario is to ask him again and if his explanations don't align, please reconsider this relationship. You are not obligated to stay with a man who is making you paranoid.

I am sorry I cannot be of much help because I am not clear on the dynamics of your relationship. Are you separated, are you divorced, do your partners know about your relationships, everything matters.

Best Wishes.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

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Relationship
Hi I am 39 year married woman with one 13yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as housewife but I never got love respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affair with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants to marry her. I told these to both of our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion we both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me .But after these incident and during Corona I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him as now i doesn’t feel complete without him. I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for me and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. It sounds like you're in a very complex situation, and I'm not qualified to give you advice on personal or emotional matters. However, I can offer some general information that may be helpful.

It's important to remember that you're not alone in this. Many people go through difficult times in their marriages, and there are resources available to help you cope. If you're feeling overwhelmed, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with support and guidance as you work through your challenges.

If you're thinking about leaving your marriage, it's important to weigh all of your options carefully and consider the potential consequences of your decision. You may want to talk to a lawyer or financial advisor to get advice on what your rights and options are.

Ultimately, the decision of what to do is up to you. There is no right or wrong answer, and what works for one person may not work for another. However, it's important to make your decision based on what is best for you and your family.

I hope this information is helpful. Please remember that you're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My husband has been cheating on me. I recently discovered a receipt of payment that was unusual of my husband's regular activities. I called the shop and realised that the payment was genuine and it was made by my husband who was accompanied by a young lady. Since then, I have had sleepless nights. I have been wanting to talk to him but I am not mentally prepared to hear his side of the story. If he admits, it would mean our long years of marriage is over. If he denies, it would mean he is lying to me. However, there is a part of me that wants to trust him and give him some benefit of doubt. I have a 12 year old daughter. If he admits to having an affair, this news can break both of us. Pls help.
Ans: Start by acknowledging your feelings without judgment. The anxiety, sleepless nights, and fear are natural responses to such uncertainty. Allow yourself space to process these emotions. You don’t have to rush into confronting your husband until you feel emotionally steady enough to handle the conversation, regardless of the outcome. Sometimes, writing down your thoughts and questions can help organize your feelings and prepare you for the discussion.

It’s also important to consider your goals for the marriage and your family. Ask yourself what you need to feel secure and respected in the relationship. If you decide to confront him, do so with the intention of seeking understanding and clarity, not immediate resolution. This will allow you to approach the conversation with as much calm as possible.

When you're ready to speak with him, choose a time and place where you both can have a private, uninterrupted conversation. Start by expressing your feelings honestly but without accusations. For example, you might say, "I came across this receipt, and it’s been weighing heavily on me. I want to understand because I value our marriage and our family." This sets the tone for a constructive dialogue rather than an argument.

Prepare yourself for his response, whatever it may be. If he admits to wrongdoing, it will hurt, but it will also give you the clarity to decide what comes next—whether that’s working through the betrayal or choosing a different path. If he denies it, try to assess whether his explanation feels genuine or dismissive. Trust your instincts, but also give yourself time to reflect before making any major decisions.

If the uncertainty continues to eat away at you, seeking support from a counselor or therapist can be invaluable. A professional can help you process your emotions, clarify your priorities, and guide you in deciding what is best for you and your daughter. Protecting your emotional well-being is vital, as it will also help you maintain stability for your child during this challenging time.

Remember that trust and honesty are the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. Whether the truth strengthens your bond or pushes you to reconsider your future together, it’s essential to prioritize your self-respect and emotional health. You are not alone in this, and with time and support, you can navigate this difficult moment with resilience and clarity.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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Relationship
my husband after marriage cheated to me he is in relationship on that time he avoids me and ignore me but i am very loyal on that time because of son, now we both not asking eachother abt anything, not talking but abt the son any activity will be there we will be together, but we are not talking with eachother even now we are not caring eachother, the man who i met recently he is my friend my colleague he know everything abt me but now he proposed me and he treated me like a wife he knows abt my son. he really love me even i involved him my family to know my family background, he is married but divorce, even i love him a lot every habits he have as a husband he takes take he talk with me very respectively, what should i do i want a suggestion. is it right?
Ans: Dear Ruta,
It's essential to reflect on what you truly want and need for your emotional well-being and happiness. Your marriage, despite its difficulties, still ties you and your husband together, especially through your son. You both have managed to maintain a cooperative relationship for his sake, which shows your commitment as parents.

However, the new relationship you're considering brings a fresh dynamic. This person understands your struggles, respects you, and offers emotional support. It's natural to feel drawn to someone who makes you feel valued and loved, especially after experiencing neglect and betrayal.

Before making any decisions, it's important to take time to reflect on your current situation. Consider what you want from your life and relationships. Think about how any decision you make will affect not only you but also your son and everyone involved. Communicating openly with your husband about your feelings and the state of your marriage could bring some clarity, even if it's difficult.

If you choose to pursue a relationship with this new person, ensure that you're doing it for the right reasons and that you're both on the same page about the future. It's crucial to consider your emotional readiness and the potential impact on your son. This process may take time, but prioritizing your emotional well-being and happiness is essential.

Ultimately, the right path will be one that brings you peace, happiness, and stability for both you and your son. Trust yourself to make a decision that aligns with your needs and values.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  | Answer  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Mar 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2025Hindi
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Money
Can I retire at age of 50 years? My savings are cash in Bank around Rs 2 Cr with nominal FD returns, Have Physical Gold about 3 Kg (Purchase price 1.8 Cr), Have Ornament Gold about 2.3 Kg (Purchase price 1.2 Cr), Have Unlisted NSE stock worth 1 Cr, Have Pre IPO Opportunities Fund worth Rs 80 Lakhs, Have two apartments worth 3 Cr and 1.5 Cr with combined rental of Rs 1Lakh per month, Have residential plot worth 1.5 Cr, Have one house abroad worth 6 Cr and rental 2 Lakhs per month, Have cash in Offshore Bank in dollars i.e. worth Rs 12 Cr with nominal FD returns, Have Insurance schemes worth Rs 20 Lakhs and Lastly have a house worth Rs 18 Cr in which we currently reside. Our Expenses : We have no Loans/Debts, Our Average Monthly Expenses are Rs 8 Lakhs, Health Insurance Rs 1.5 Lakhs per annum, Total College Education abroad for 2 kids for next 6 years estimated to be Rs 6 CR on an average 1CR per year, Old Aged Parents Expenses Rs 2 Lakhs per month.
Ans: Hello;

Just summarizing your assets available for generating retirement income:

1. Domestic FD: 2 Cr
2. Gold(3 Kg) valued at~:2.64 Cr
3. Jewellery valued at~:2 Cr
4. Flat1: 3 Cr
5. Flat2: 1.5 Cr
6. Land: 1.5 Cr
7. Overseas House: 6 Cr
8. Overseas FD: 12 Cr
9. Self occupied property: 18 Cr
10. Stock & AIF: 1.8 Cr
Total: 50.44 Cr
(Gold price considered: 88 K per 10 gm)
However we can subtract assets at serial no. 3, 7 and 9 from this and we get a corpus of 24.44 Cr. The 44 L may be kept aside for transaction costs, taxes etc.

It is advisable that you sell the flats in India offering low rental yield and also physical gold and the land property.

Now the corpus of 24 Cr may be split into two parts:
20 Cr may be invested in MFs for SWP at 5% yielding post tax income of around 7.3 L per month.

4 Cr may be used to buy immediate annuity from a life insurance company. Assuming 6% annuity rate you may expect a post tax monthly income of 1.4 L.

So your post tax monthly income may be:
7.3+1.4+2*=10.7 L as desired.
*Rental from overseas House

Since the kid's higher education is not finding place here I suggest you work for few more years, while putting this retirement income plan in place, for funding their higher education.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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