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Dating My Cross Cousin - Can I Convince My Parents?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 28, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 17, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Mam/Sir I’m in relationship with my cross cousin and we both want to get married . How should I convince my parents as in Northern India it is prohibited but southern side it is accepted.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Consanguineous marriages (between people who are related by blood) can increase the chances of genetic disorders in their offspring. This could be the reason that your parents may not accept the marriage. It's a matter of understanding what your parents are saying and what makes them refuse the marriage. I suggest finding out from your parents what is going on in their mind.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Feb 26, 2025 | Answered on Feb 26, 2025
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Ma’am there are so many conflict that my father’s sister passed away due to some serious health issue and she died very early and my father does not trust on him because he is kind of debauchery person , can sell her daughter too to whom I’m in love with since we’re together from 5years and can’t end up or give up I know there will be lots of consequences to face but I have a hope that may be my father accept it
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you have decided to anyway go ahead, then there is no discussion that is needed on it, right? Like I had suggested, do find out what your parents have to say...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Jun 01, 2025 | Answered on Jun 02, 2025
Hello Mam Good afternoon My father today came to know about my relationship Cause of some chaos and lots of allegation is rising on her because of her father’s past conflicts my parents are thinking that she works in bar and all as her brother is twin of her so parents also stated that they trying to make relationship and abducted our money and properties , my sibling went Goa to enjoy and there he met both of them so her brother just kidded him to have drink and my sibling took it serious and today he told that thing to dad and dad was like how ridiculous but brother knows it was just a joke nothing else.. I know both of them twin , her brother is kind of funny and kidding kind of person And she is hardworking lady she works in PNG Jewellers of Panaji Branch along with her brother both have a clear intention to build their own house and live happy and they both are working too on it They both know about their father so they discussed about it and later they visited Goa from UP Than they started their job and soon afterward her father along stepmom shifted Goa as her father did the same past chaos So they are living in Goa I know my parents are just trying to end this but I can’t it’s been 5year long relationship with lots of ups down but healthy My mother and brother they both are of same mindset they bluffed into my dad’s ear and today in evening I have to do discussion with dad How should I start as I know this phase is really heavy and painful cause I’m 21 year old an aspirant and just met with this consequence My plan was to first achieve my job and than I’ll reveal but destiny have some other plans Please mam help me out… I’ll be very grateful to you please reply as soon as possible you can please
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I have been very clear on my suggestions to you in your initial question to me. Have an honest conversation with your parents and see what comes out of it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Jun 02, 2025 | Answered on Jun 11, 2025
I had shared my everything after all of that I have to end according to my family and she also don’t want her family get to know this issue and I’m unable to anything this pain this shiver though which I’m going is disaster Everything which I made in this 5 year of emotions love I lost it all
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to say this BUT you are using this place to just vent out your feelings. How is that helping? Not once have you shared if you have worked on the initial suggestions that were given to you. Nothing comes out of complaining. If you want to have a better result, then do things differently than before.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

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Relationship
I am my cousin sister are in serious relationship with each other for 7 years. My and her mother are cousins. We both want to marry with each other but we know our parents never agree for this at any cost. I am a government employee. We want to marry against our family how can we approach it? Plz tell.
Ans: Given your long relationship of seven years, your bond seems strong, which is a good foundation for moving forward. However, it’s also important to be realistic about the potential fallout from family disapproval. You may want to try having a calm, private discussion with your parents, explaining that this relationship has developed over time and is not a rash decision. Focus on expressing your genuine commitment to each other and the values that you share, rather than just defending the relationship itself. They may still oppose, but at least you've shown maturity in your approach.

If family opposition remains intense, and you both are determined to move forward, you might have to proceed independently and elope or register the marriage without their blessing. Understand that this could create a rift for some time, so you’ll need to rely heavily on each other for emotional support. Over time, many families soften when they see their children are happy and stable, but that’s not always guaranteed. It’s important to make sure you're both fully prepared for the consequences, both emotionally and socially.

Also, considering professional counseling might help you both navigate this difficult situation, especially in balancing your relationship and family dynamics. Ultimately, staying strong and united as a couple will be key to overcoming whatever challenges lie ahead.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8220 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir, 1. Chemical Engineering at NIT Warangal Or 2. CSE at IIIT Kanchipuram or 3. Dual Degree programs, such as MSc Biology at BITS Hyderabad. Each has its own reputation. NIT Warangal, being one of the top NITs, but, we are uncertain about its future prospects compared to a branch like CSE. IIIT Kanchipuram is a mid-tier IIIT; however, the branch is CSE, which is what my son is leaning towards. The BITS dual degree, though a reputed one, will keep us guessing and put us in uncertainty for one more year as to which BTech branch he will be allotted. The obvious choice seems to be taking CSE, as he's inclined anyway. But, is a CSE degree from IIIT Kancheepuram worth it? Had it been a top-tier IIIT, this question wouldn't have been raised at all. Thank you in advance for your advice.
Ans: NIT Warangal’s B.Tech in Chemical Engineering combines a strong curriculum, experienced faculty, modern process and reaction engineering labs, robust MoUs for industrial internships, and consistent placement rates around 87.21% over the past three years with a median package of ?11.88 LPA. However, heavy theoretical rigor, narrower recruiter diversity, moderate average packages compared to CSE, limited elective flexibility, and a rural campus setting are considerations. IIIT Kanchipuram’s B.Tech CSE programme offers a government-backed PPP model, dedicated AI/ML and software labs, practical design projects, growing industry tie-ups, and an average package of ?9.60 LPA with a current placement rate of 53.4% in CSE. Yet, its mid-tier ranking, fewer top-tier recruiters, ongoing campus-placement growth, smaller alumni base, and lower placement consistency pose challenges. BITS Hyderabad’s four-year Integrated M.Sc. Biological Sciences delivers interdisciplinary training, state-of-the-art biotech and molecular labs, dual-degree flexibility, strong research centres, and an 87.39% placement rate in 2024 with an average salary of ?20.36 LPA. Drawbacks include high fees (?20.76 L total), potential delay in branch clarity, limited core engineering exposure, intense academic demands, and placement uncertainty for pure science graduates.

For highest immediate ROI with strong core-engineering and placement stability, the recommendation is NIT Warangal Chemical Engineering. Next in preference is BITS Hyderabad Integrated M.Sc. Biological Sciences for top?tier research exposure and superior average packages, followed by IIIT Kanchipuram CSE if his primary inclination toward computing outweighs its nascent placement record. My Suggestion: Since your son has a strong interest in Computer Science, opting for IIIT-K CSE would be a wise decision. To stay competitive, it’s important that he maintains a consistent and decent CGPA throughout his academic journey. Alongside, he should continue upgrading his technical skills over the next four years, aligning with faculty guidance and evolving job market trends. Developing a strong and professional LinkedIn profile and focusing on soft skill development will also significantly enhance his placement prospects. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9453 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2025Hindi
Money
I am currently 27 years old. I have a home+ education loan of 55L, current income 30L/ year and i am Investing in MFs 30k/month. What should be the correct strategy to allocate money - repay loan or increase investing amount.
Ans: At 27 years, your financial discipline is worth appreciating. Having a strong income of Rs.30 lakhs annually, while managing a Rs.55 lakh loan and still investing Rs.30,000 monthly in mutual funds shows good intent and effort. Now your main question is—should you increase investments or repay the loan faster?

Let us look at your profile from a 360-degree view to find the right path forward.

Understanding Your Financial Snapshot

Age: 27 years

Income: Rs.30 lakhs per year (approx Rs.2.5 lakhs per month)

Loans: Rs.55 lakh (home + education)

Current SIP: Rs.30,000 per month

Goal: Decide between increasing investments or repaying loan early

You are in early career stage with a good salary.
Your financial mindset is mature. This is rare at your age.
But now comes the big question—what gives better long-term value?

Understanding the Nature of Your Loans

You mentioned a mix of home and education loan.
Both loans have different tax treatments.

Home loan: Offers principal and interest tax benefits.

Education loan: Offers deduction only on interest paid.

You need to assess interest rates too.

Is your loan above 9%? Then early repayment gives better returns.

Is it below 8%? Then investing longer term may offer better growth.

The answer depends not only on numbers. It depends on your emotional comfort too.

Build Emergency Fund First

Before increasing SIP or repaying more loan:

Keep at least 6 months of expenses in liquid mutual funds.

Include EMI amounts also in this.

This keeps you stress-free in job loss or health crisis.

Without emergency fund, even small issues can derail plans.

Don’t Increase SIP Now Without This Check

You already invest Rs.30,000 monthly.
That is 12% of your monthly income.
It’s a good start. But do you have clarity on your goals?

What are your major life goals in next 10-15 years?

Do you want to buy another house?

Will marriage expenses come up soon?

Any business plan in the future?

Unless you fix goal amounts, don’t blindly increase SIP.
Goal-based investing is always better.

Also, remember this—more investment only helps if you can continue long.
Else you will redeem midway, which harms compounding.

Why Early Loan Repayment Can Be a Strong Strategy

Let’s evaluate why repaying your loan early may help.

Reduces total interest outgo over time

Improves your monthly cash flow in future

Increases credit score quickly

Gives emotional freedom and peace

Allows you to take higher risks in future investments

At your age, being debt-free by 35 gives a huge head start.

Also, most education loans have floating rates.
If RBI increases rates, your EMI also increases.
Reducing principal quickly can protect you.

But Don’t Stop Mutual Fund SIPs Completely

Even if you prioritise loan repayment now:

Do not stop your current Rs.30,000 SIPs

It builds investment discipline and long-term wealth

Keeps you in the market to benefit from long-term compounding

This balance of repayment + investment gives a steady growth path.

How to Strike the Right Balance Now

Here is a smart and practical approach:

Keep Rs.30,000 SIP running every month

Review your EMI schedule—try to pay at least one extra EMI yearly

Any yearly bonus or incentive—use 50% to prepay loan

Rest 50% of bonus can be added to investment corpus

Every 12 months, re-evaluate income and loan balance

This way, you reduce loan burden over time while your investments keep growing.

Review Tax Impact Also While Choosing

Home loan principal under Rs.1.5 lakh is deductible under 80C

Interest up to Rs.2 lakh deductible under 24(b)

Education loan interest fully deductible under 80E

But tax benefit should not be the only reason to keep a loan.
If interest is higher than mutual fund returns, then prepaying is better.
Talk to a Certified Financial Planner to run the numbers yearly.

Avoid Index Funds—They Are Not For You

Some people suggest index funds blindly.
But they are not the best tool for wealth creation.

Here’s why:

Index funds only follow the market. No active thinking.

They never beat inflation consistently.

They fall with the market but don’t recover faster.

No fund manager to manage risk actively.

At your age, you need strong and flexible growth.
Only actively managed funds do that.
They have experts making timely decisions, which matters more during corrections.

Actively managed funds give more balanced returns.
Especially when markets are flat or volatile.

Avoid Direct Plans in Mutual Funds

Direct plans may look cheaper.
But they lack guidance and support.

At your age, mistakes cost more over time.
Wrong fund choice or bad asset mix can harm returns.

Regular plans through MFD with CFP help you:

Choose the right mix of funds for your goals

Track performance and rebalance regularly

Handle emotional mistakes in market crashes

Get expert help during any personal financial decision

The small difference in expense ratio is worth the guidance.

Focus On Financial Goals, Not Just Repayment

You are just 27. In the next 10 years, many financial needs will come.

Marriage

Home upgrade

Car

Travel

Retirement planning

Parents’ medical support

If you only focus on loan, you may miss out on these needs.
So create a life goal roadmap with help of Certified Financial Planner.
Then decide what amount to invest for each goal.

This gives clarity, confidence and control.

Plan Bonus, Incentives and Windfall Properly

Each time you receive a bonus:

Use 50% for prepaying loan

Use 25% for increasing goal-based investments

Use 25% for lifestyle or travel or hobby

This method balances progress and happiness.

Blindly prepaying everything is not wise.
Life must be lived too.

Key Points to Remember for Next 5 Years

Maintain current SIP at Rs.30,000 minimum.

Don’t take new loans unless emergency.

Increase loan repayment whenever you get extra money.

Avoid index funds. Choose active mutual funds with MFD support.

Don’t invest in direct plans. Regular funds with CFP help are better.

Keep financial goals clear and written down.

Review your plan every year with a Certified Financial Planner.

If You Have LIC or ULIP, Rethink Them Now

If you are holding LIC endowment or ULIP policy, check their returns.
If they give less than 6%, consider surrendering.
Reinvest that amount in mutual funds based on goals.
Keep insurance and investment separate.

Buy pure term cover for protection.
Use mutual funds for building wealth.

Finally

At 27, you are already doing many right things.
You are investing monthly. You are earning well. You care about your future.

Now the goal is to balance your priorities:

Reduce your loan over time

Keep long-term investments going

Plan goals early to avoid surprises

Avoid index and direct funds

Review with a Certified Financial Planner every year

This combined approach brings you peace of mind and wealth.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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