Dating My Cross Cousin - Can I Convince My Parents?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is a huge task to convince parents on inter-caste marriages especially when you belong to a traditional and orthodox family.
What you might want to do"
- highlight your partner's ability to be integrated with your family (Your partner must be willing to put in this hard work; similarly you need to do it with his/her family as well)
- arrange a meeting in a public place between your partner and parents (Let both sides have a conversation on all the Ifs and Buts)

At the end of the day, it's two people wanting to spend their lives together BUT families do play an huge role. So be patient and go at this with the support of your partner. Be on the same side and DO NOT quarrel because of this. You will only be making this more difficult on yourselves. Stick together and solve it together; that's the only way this can work out itself smoothly...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You can't convince anyone when they have decided not to be convinced. Inter-faith marriages are still a big NO-NO in many households and when you ask parents, they will give reasons of not being able to adjust to another home with different customs and traditions and also they worry about society.
If you want this marriage, rather than focusing on convincing your parents, why don't you build reasons on why they should trust your partner? Let you partner also try and integrate into your family. Your parents need to see why your partner is good for you and maybe that will help them break their beliefs.
So, think more on what you and your partner can do for your parents to trust and be comfortable around your partner.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Bhagyashree,
Love is nice, Love is fun...
At 19 and 20, isn't that a phase where one focuses on studies, their careers. That's message enough for you...
Regarding marriage, I guess when you and your boyfriend show some maturity by working and becoming financially independent, there's a fair chance that your parents might at least be willing to see things the way you want them to...
Why would they agree to let you marry someone who's 20 and still has to stand on his own feet? And you too...
Of course, unless, he's someone who has come up with genuine ideas and is making good money as an entrepreneur. Girl, focus on what needs your focus and someday things may fall in place.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Given your long relationship of seven years, your bond seems strong, which is a good foundation for moving forward. However, it’s also important to be realistic about the potential fallout from family disapproval. You may want to try having a calm, private discussion with your parents, explaining that this relationship has developed over time and is not a rash decision. Focus on expressing your genuine commitment to each other and the values that you share, rather than just defending the relationship itself. They may still oppose, but at least you've shown maturity in your approach.

If family opposition remains intense, and you both are determined to move forward, you might have to proceed independently and elope or register the marriage without their blessing. Understand that this could create a rift for some time, so you’ll need to rely heavily on each other for emotional support. Over time, many families soften when they see their children are happy and stable, but that’s not always guaranteed. It’s important to make sure you're both fully prepared for the consequences, both emotionally and socially.

Also, considering professional counseling might help you both navigate this difficult situation, especially in balancing your relationship and family dynamics. Ultimately, staying strong and united as a couple will be key to overcoming whatever challenges lie ahead.