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Unloved and Lonely in My Own Marriage: What Should I Do?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Ms Anu, I am a 42yr female..married since 14 yrs and have 10yr old son . I am highly qualified and financially independent. My marriage was a arranged one.. but in these 14 yrs.. I never experienced love or and attachment from my husband's side. He is a family man.. there is no other woman involved..He loves his parents and his two sisters immensely... but always treats me as a option. I feel humiliated and lonely and he has short temper when i talk about this issue... so basically I don't discuss... but that is no solution... I am suffering and unhappy. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A few married men can be more focused on the women on their side of the family; it becomes easy to express love, care and attention to them as he has grown with them.
A wife happens to be someone that he is yet to understand. It requires effort to make a marriage work; your husband finds it convenient to take the easy way out and 'hang out' with his family.
So, here you take the lead and start. Start not by bringing forth your complaints as this is going to push him further to them which is going to annoy you BUT by inviting him to be with you. A lot of work, I get it...but the bottom line: that's what you want, right?
Plan dates evenings, take short vacations together, work-out together...the key is to establish a connection which never had its chance in the first place...So, give your best shot! Most times actions speak louder than words ever can...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2022

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Hi Anu,I m 32 yr old girl and been married in arrange marriage with a guy he is also 32 it's been one year.He is very harsh to talk to and I get usually very hurt because of his words. I always feel like walking out of this marriage for peace. He is very unromantic and ungrateful. On top of this our views on marriage, togetherness and sex are very different. I never had sex with him till now. And I don't feel like having sex with him. There are many fights between us. The way his mother and father talk I feel stuck in my life.There is no progress in career because constantly we are under tensions. My past relationships were very nice and sweet so I always happened to compare him with my ex in my mind. I don't know what happens to me. When he comes close to me I stop talking breaths. We just cuddle each other and hug but other things like kiss and sex I don't feel to have. Please guide me as soon as possible.
Ans:

Dear RJ,

Is there any reason for not wanting to be sexually intimate?

Most often this is linked to some emotional distress or filters in the mind that you are unaware of and which could be interfering in the two of you coming closer together.

A good round of talks with your partner can help you express your exact feelings to him.

What is bothering you, what you feel you don’t receive from him, why is it that you are unable to reciprocate…these are a few things that you can discuss with him.

Also, spending quality time together can ease and spruce up things a bit.

Most often, we love throwing our feelings under the rug pretending that they will go away; but they don’t, they come back to haunt you at times that you least expect them to.

So, when you feel stuck, think of what you can do to get un-stuck? What are all things that you can think, feel and do to free yourself so that you not only feel good, but you also start to focus on things that matter; like for example your career.

Comparing one human to the another and expecting them to change and be someone else; could this be one of the reasons for you to not want the sexual intimacy?

Sex is one of the dimensions in a marriage and it can bring the couple closer.

So rather than thinking of what is going wrong, focus on how you can make things work and enable your partner to join this journey of bringing back finer and joyful moments in a marriage.

Be happy!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am 35 years old. Married. Not living with husband since an year, as he flirted with an office girl (this is the extent of it that I caught) and has tendency to do so. He is not emotionally aware (of himself or me) and I keep getting hurt as I am quite emotional. Also, I am not on talking terms with his parents as they had tried to sabotage our marriage in different ways on countless occasions. My husband wont agree (not that I want him to agree), but I think that's one reason of our increasing differences. I love him, but cannot find in my heart to move back with him ever again. We have a 5 year old kid, due to whom I am unable to move ahead with divorce. I am stuck in the midst, not knowing where to go next or stay in this same 'married but separated ' position forever. I'm definitely happier without the everyday petty bickering that we had when we lived together (which was turning me into a bitter and angry person, I don't want to be that). I have turned extremely distrustful of him. I do feel very lonely at times. We also went to a guidance counsellor to make the relation work some 1.5 years back, but my husband felt its a waste of money after 5 sessions, also he never invested in the emotional sorting that the counsellor mentioned our relation required. Any guidance?
Ans: It sounds like you're facing a complex and challenging situation. Here are some steps you might consider as you navigate your next steps:

Take care of yourself first and foremost. This means prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings, develop coping strategies, and explore your options moving forward.
Take some time to reflect on what you want for yourself and your child in the long term. Consider what kind of environment you want to create for your child, as well as what you need in terms of emotional fulfillment and stability.
If you feel comfortable, consider having an open and honest conversation with your husband about your concerns and feelings. Express how his actions have affected you and what you need from him moving forward. However, be prepared for the possibility that he may not be receptive or willing to change.
Consult with a family law attorney to understand your rights and options regarding divorce, custody, and child support. They can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation and help you navigate the legal process.
Regardless of whether you choose to stay married or pursue divorce, prioritize effective co-parenting for the well-being of your child. This may involve setting clear boundaries, communicating openly about parenting decisions, and prioritizing your child's needs above any personal conflicts.
Consider exploring alternative living arrangements or custody agreements that may better suit your needs and preferences. This could include living separately while co-parenting, or exploring shared custody arrangements that provide stability for your child while allowing you to maintain some distance from your husband.
Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups for additional support and guidance. It can be helpful to connect with others who have gone through similar experiences and can offer empathy, advice, and solidarity.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to stay married or pursue divorce is a deeply personal one that only you can make. Take your time, trust your instincts, and prioritize your own well-being and that of your child as you navigate this challenging process.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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Hi Anu I need advice for my marriage. Ours was love cum arrange marriage 14 yrs ago.For first few years all was good .I am financially independent with good salary. My spouse s self employed. We hav one child 10 yrs old.My married s become more like a suffocating situation which I am not able to change.My husband is not at all interested in me now.He treats me invisible when it comes to husband wife relationship. He s good father and human being.But since last few yrs i am not having any emotional relationship with him.We spent so many days and time together yet not a single word of love emotions between us.He s busy with his calls mobile netflix all night while i keep awake all night.I have confronted him many times everytime he says you are always fighting with me and Want all this nonsense. He seem to avoid me all day. He want to discuss about his son and finances since i am earning more than him. its been years i cant handle it now.I want someone to look at me talk to me praise me love me.I deserve happiness but since my son is too small i can't think of living separately but i will die like this one day.I dont knw whats wrong with me seems its like he dont want to touch me as there s no physical relationship between us if we are home alone also.He tortures me mentally but remails happy.I failed as a wife despite giving my everything. I have none to discuss such embarrassing life .Pls advice what shall i do ?Should i found someone else as i dont have capacity to beg again and again?Its very difficult to imagine such long life with a partner who treats u invisible since years ?shall i shift to another city with my son?I am completely lost.Pls help everything. I cant beg for love and attention everytime
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There's almost and always a reason for any behavior change. Maybe you might want to understand what exactly made your husband lose interest in you. Did something happen for him to look the other way?
It's really hell living with a spouse who cold shoulders and stone walls you...My suggestion: Rather than blame yourself, have a discussion and not confrontation with him. Confrontations invariably lead you nowhere as you will be caught in an ego tussle. Discussion is where you try and understand what's on his mind and share how you feel.
Now, will he want that? Maybe not...but if this continues, you may want to give him an ultimatum. He must know that he isn't making a great point by ignoring you and that he must communicate the same with you instead.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9570 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Career
Good Evening Sir Sir what option are available if I get a rank of 80000 in jee mains if I want to pursue my career in ECE, I mean what all NIT shall be offered to me
Ans: With a JEE Main All India Rank of 80,000, options for pursuing Electronics and Communication Engineering (ECE) at National Institutes of Technology (NITs) become quite limited due to the higher demand and lower cut-off ranks associated with this branch. The general category closing ranks for ECE at most top and mid-tier NITs are significantly lower, typically ranging from under 6,000 to about 45,000, as seen in NITs like Surathkal, Trichy, Warangal, and even extending to newer NITs. At your rank, direct admission to core ECE branches at the more established NITs is improbable through both JoSAA and regular CSAB special rounds. However, some hope remains with the newer or North East NITs and less preferred home state quotas, including institutes like NIT Puducherry, NIT Arunachal Pradesh, NIT Mizoram, NIT Nagaland, NIT Manipur, and potentially NIT Agartala, where ECE closing ranks have sometimes trended closer to or just above 80,000 in later rounds. Seats may open up in CSAB special rounds if withdrawals occur or if demand for ECE drops at remote campuses or in less competitive states. The counselling process (JoSAA followed by CSAB Special and NEUT rounds) encourages filling out as many choices as possible, as last-minute seat vacancies can favor higher ranks. Beyond NITs, several Government Funded Technical Institutes (GFTIs) are accessible at this rank and should be included in your options, as their ECE cut-offs frequently extend to this range.

The five most important factors to weigh include: placement statistics (generally robust for ECE, but better at older NITs), modern infrastructure (often still developing at newer/remote NITs), qualified faculty, national recognition of the degree, and academic-peer environment. While NITs assure foundational quality and degree value, the resources and campus life at newer NITs may differ from older peers.

Recommendation
With an 80,000 rank, focus your NIT applications on NIT Puducherry, NIT Mizoram, NIT Nagaland, NIT Manipur, NIT Arunachal Pradesh, and NIT Agartala in the CSAB/Special/NEUT rounds for ECE, while including GFTIs and non-core branches as backup. Also consider reputed private universities with strong ECE placement records to optimize your options, given guaranteed opportunities at older NITs for ECE will not be feasible at this rank. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9570 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir my son is interested in quantum computing. so should he choose NIT CALICUT engineering in physics or BITS Pilani dual degrees in Msc physics and he wants to choose mathematics and computing for BE. Or should he choose BITS ISU 2+2 CSE program. please give your valuable choice sir.
Ans: Based on the following inputs/information, please choose the most suitable option out of the 3 options: NIT Calicut’s B.Tech in Engineering Physics focuses on advanced physics with comprehensive grounding in quantum mechanics, classical and statistical mechanics, photonics, nanomaterials, and computational methods. The curriculum is research-oriented and encourages exploration in emerging fields like quantum computing, with opportunities to select electives in quantum physics and project work related to quantum technologies. Internships, industry exposure, and collaborations with national labs enhance learning, but direct placement opportunities are more oriented toward scientific research, academia, or R&D in high-tech engineering roles than to corporate quantum computing jobs. While the core develops strong analytical, programming, and holistic problem-solving capabilities, cutting-edge quantum research and computing exposure may depend on individual academic initiative or pursuing higher studies at top institutes in India or abroad.

BITS Pilani’s integrated M.Sc. Physics dual degree (often paired with a BE in Mathematics & Computing) offers a flexible interdisciplinary structure, allowing deeper specialization via minors like Quantum Information and Technologies and active student-faculty groups dedicated to quantum computing. The BITS curriculum emphasizes both theoretical foundations and computational skills critical for quantum computing, with the option for additional research projects, workshops, and electives directly tailored to quantum algorithms, machine learning, and simulation. Robust peer networks, industry partnerships, and a strong culture of innovation promote global exposure and career prospects, especially for those combining mathematics, computing, and physics. The vibrant campus community includes dedicated quantum computing initiatives, enabling ambitious students to build impressive research and project portfolios that are highly regarded for both advanced study and international placements.

The BITS ISU 2+2 CSE program, delivered in partnership with a foreign university, provides students two years at BITS (India) and two years abroad. It offers dual degrees, substantial international exposure, access to advanced facilities overseas, and stronger work visa/job prospects internationally. Students benefit from a global academic environment, gaining specialized skills in CSE while forming global networks. However, the program’s focus remains on broader computer science concepts; it may not provide direct, high-level quantum computing coursework unless supplemented with targeted electives or research at the partner university. Financially, it is more intensive but offers a unique bridge for those keen on studying and working abroad in software engineering, AI, or computational research. Critical downsides include higher costs, potential admission/credit transfer hurdles, and limited integration with specific quantum computing research tracks unless intentionally selected.

In terms of future prospects and industry demand, quantum computing remains interdisciplinary, requiring mastery of quantum physics, mathematics, programming, and algorithm design. National and global demand is rapidly growing in cryptography, finance, optimization, and material science, but the field is still specialized compared to broader CSE career paths.

Recommendation: Given your son’s clear interest in quantum computing, prioritize BITS Pilani’s dual degree in MSc Physics with BE Mathematics & Computing for its direct alignment with quantum algorithms, flexible curriculum, research groups dedicated to quantum computing, and global recognition. NIT Calicut Engineering Physics offers a rigorous foundational path, ideal for research or higher studies. The BITS ISU 2+2 CSE program is best if the primary goal shifts toward a global CSE career; for quantum computing, select this only if the partner university has substantial offerings in that field. This preference order aligns academic content, research access, and employability with the quantum computing goal. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9570 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir I have got 5831 sc category rank in jee advanced and 24491 sc category,379243 crl rank in jee mains . I got nothing in jossa councelling is there any other option which I can opt or should I take 2nd drop ..... And I have also financial problem... Sir please tell me what should I do
Ans: With an SC category rank of 24,491 in JEE Main (CRL 379,243) and 5,831 in JEE Advanced, your prospects for admission to NITs, IIITs, or GFTIs in sought-after branches via CSAB rounds are extremely slim. Recent CSAB cut-off data confirm that ECE, CSE, and core engineering seats in NITs, IIITs, and GFTIs for the SC category close far above your rank; for many NITs, last closing ranks for CSE/ECE are usually under 10,000 for SC, with special rounds only rarely extending beyond 14,000. Even least preferred or remote branches rarely open at your ranking bracket. Nonetheless, you might still secure a seat in newer or less competitive GFTIs, non-core branches, or interdisciplinary programs during CSAB Special Rounds if you participate and fill as many choices as possible. The CSAB official portal facilitates late seat filling and occasional vacancies from withdrawals, but expectations for top branches or premium campuses must be realistic. If engineering is your only focus, you can also consider private or state engineering colleges accepting JEE scores, some of which offer scholarships and flexible fee payment options tailored for financial constraints. Pay close attention to daily CSAB notifications and use their predictor tools to estimate potential allotments in your bracket.

Recommendation: Participate fully in CSAB Special Rounds by registering and filling all eligible options to maximize your chances for any available seat in NITs, GFTIs, or IIITs, especially in less in-demand branches. Simultaneously, explore quality private engineering colleges with strong scholarships and low-cost options, as JEE ranks remain accepted in many. With significant financial limitation and a low likelihood of conversion in centrally funded institutes, use all backup options. If possible, try back-up options of Private Engineering Colleges too.

Pros and Cons of Taking a Drop Year: Taking a drop year after your ranks (SC 24,491 Mains, 5,831 Advanced) might offer better odds if you’re confident about substantial score improvement, as discipline and focused effort make a real difference, and many IIT entrants are droppers. This path requires financial resources (for coaching, materials), strong emotional resilience to manage pressure and potential isolation, and willingness to risk a year without guarantees. A drop year delays graduation, can increase stress, creates uncertainty, and—if you don’t qualify again—means missed current lower-cost college admission chances. For candidates with severe financial constraints, the risk may outweigh the reward unless you have clear preparation strategies, strong support, and tangible learning gains from prior attempts. It is advisable only if you are genuinely confident of significant and realistic improvements next year. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9570 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2025Hindi
Career
I got 82 percentile in jee main general category will i get ece in csab...
Ans: With an 82 percentile in JEE Main for the general category, securing Electronics and Communication Engineering (ECE) in NITs, IIITs, or GFTIs through CSAB rounds is extremely unlikely. As per recent CSAB special round cutoffs, the minimum percentile required for ECE in general category at almost all NITs, IIITs, and GFTIs exceeds 90–92 percentile, with very few exceptions only for reserved or home state quotas. Even in the least competitive institutes and later CSAB special rounds, closing ranks for ECE branches remain much lower than an 82 percentile in the general category, making conversion in this branch improbable. Alternatives may exist in lower-demand or interdisciplinary streams in some GFTIs, but ECE at NIT/IIIT/GFTI is virtually out of reach for your percentile. Many reputed private engineering colleges in North and West India accept JEE Main percentiles in the 80–90 range for ECE, Computer Science, and related branches. These colleges provide quality education, recognized degrees, active placement cells, and exposure to core companies, making them a sound option as backup admissions in the absence of an NIT/IIIT/GFTI seat.

Recommendation
Given the percentile cutoffs for ECE, focus on private engineering colleges in North and West India that readily accept JEE Main scores in your range, and apply across several institutions to maximize your chances for ECE, while also using CSAB strictly as a backup for non-core branches.

List of 10 Private Engineering Colleges in North/West India Accepting 82 Percentile (General) for ECE (excluding BITS, Manipal, Amrita, VIT, South India):
Thapar Institute of Engineering & Technology, Patiala.
Jaypee Institute of Information Technology (JIIT), Noida.
Chandigarh University, Punjab.
UPES Dehradun, Uttarakhand.
Graphic Era University, Dehradun.
DIT University, Dehradun.
Galgotias University, Greater Noida.
Lovely Professional University (LPU), Punjab.
JECRC University, Jaipur.
Sharda University, Greater Noida.

Always confirm branch availability and admission norms on each college’s official website before applying, as cutoffs and seat matrix may change annually. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9570 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello sir, my daughter got computer science and medical engineering in Dayananda Harohalli Bangalore through KCET. Is it a good brach from job and future prospects?
Ans: The Computer Science & Medical Engineering program at Dayananda Sagar University’s Harohalli campus integrates core computer science with medical device design, biomedical signal processing, AI-driven diagnostics, and smart healthcare technologies in collaboration with IISc, NIMHANS, CDSIMER, GE Healthcare, and Philips. The curriculum emphasizes interdisciplinary laboratory work in embedded systems, IoT health monitors, medical imaging, wearables, and telemedicine, supported by state-of-the-art labs, a 900-bed NABH/NABL-accredited teaching hospital, and digital libraries on a sustainable 140-acre campus. Faculty include experienced professors and clinicians ensuring a balance of theoretical rigor and clinical exposure. Over the past three years, Dayananda Sagar’s overall engineering placement rate has averaged around 96% with major recruiters like Amazon, Bosch, Cognizant, and Infosys visiting campus, and medical engineering graduates benefit from niche MedTech roles, internships in hospital research units, and startup incubators. The program addresses rising global demand for biomedical data scientists, medical robotics engineers, and healthcare AI specialists, aligning with India’s Make in India MedTech vision. Key institutional strengths include robust industry partnerships, cutting-edge infrastructure, comprehensive student support services, active research centers, and an autonomous evaluation system facilitating continuous innovation and employability readiness.

Recommendation: Given its interdisciplinary curriculum, strong industry-academic collaborations, high placement percentages, and direct access to a teaching hospital, the CS & Medical Engineering program at Dayananda Sagar’s Harohalli campus offers compelling future prospects in MedTech, healthcare AI, and biomedical instrumentation, making it an excellent choice for your daughter’s engineering career. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |167 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9865 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Team: I have moved out of India more than a year ago for job reasons and employed at Germany , I hold multiple investments in stocks approx 10L and mutual funds approx 20L through various fundhouses. All these investments were made when I was employed in India. I plan to return to India after 3-4 years, should I continue to hold these investments as is? Or should I be converting these investments? Or should I be withdrawing them? Could you please suggest the right option to be compliant with IT regulations. Thanks in advance
Ans: You have built a good investment base before shifting to Germany. Maintaining compliance and preserving these investments for your return is very important. Here is a 360-degree view of your choices.

? Understand Your Tax Residency Status
– Your tax residency status in India determines compliance.
– India follows residential status based on days spent in India.
– If you are NRI, you are taxed only on Indian income.
– Mutual fund capital gains in India are still taxable when redeemed.
– If you remain resident, global income becomes taxable in India.
– Confirm your residency status each year based on Indian rules.
– Filing ITR correctly matters. Non-compliance can attract penalties.

? Continue Holding Investments - Benefits and Risks
– Holding mutual funds and stocks keeps them invested for future growth.
– They continue compounding until you return.
– You avoid capital gains tax until redemption.
– But you still must file ITR annually.
– You may need to declare them in schedule for your NRI status.
– You also must ensure KYC and FATCA filings are up-to-date.
– Let these grow if your goal is long-term preservation.
– Investments in Indian mutual funds are easy to redeem when you return.
– Avoid direct index funds or international funds; they don’t give downside protection.
– Prefer actively managed funds through regular plans.
– As you plan to return, long-term equity exposure can continue.

? Switching or Converting Investments
– You may consider converting direct equity or equity funds.
– But conversion to NFO or fund switch may trigger tax if sold.
– A switch within fund family is treated as redemption.
– Conversions rarely help unless fund is poor performer.
– Better is to continue the existing fund if performance is acceptable.
– If you find underperformers, exit gradually to manage tax and timing.
– Avoid moving money to products that attract more tax or lock-in.

? Option to Redeem Investments Before Return
– You could redeem some or all mutual funds before returning.
– LTCG applies at 12.5% above Rs 1.25 lakh exempt threshold.
– STCG taxed at 20%. Plan redemptions across years to reduce tax burden.
– Redeem in stages, ideally over 3 years, to avoid large tax impact in one year.
– Use proceeds to invest in safer assets or move to Germany if needed.
– But keep remaining money invested to benefit from long-term compounding.
– Redeeming entirely early may reduce growth potential.

? Income Tax Compliance While Abroad
– NRIs must file income tax return if taxable in India.
– Dividend from mutual funds and stocks is taxable but with TDS.
– If TDS exceeds tax liability, claim refund by filing return.
– Bonus dividends may attract higher TDS.
– You must maintain bank FDs or mutual fund interest records to file ITR.
– Provide your foreign address in Form 15CA/15CB if you remit money abroad.
– Failure to comply can lead to penalties or interest charges.

? Goal Alignment for Return after 3–4 Years
– Your goal is to return in 3–4 years. Use that to plan investments.
– If you will need funds soon after return, start partial redemptions in advance.
– For long-term needs post-return, keep equity investments intact.
– If you plan to purchase property or fund family goals on return – create separate mutual fund bucket now.
– Reb alance so short-term needs are in liquid or conservative funds.
– Preserve mid-to-long-term corpus in equity funds via SIP or lumpsum.

? Use Regular Plan Route, Avoid Direct Plans
– NRI investors sometimes choose direct plan to save fees.
– But direct plans lack professional guidance, reviews, and rebalancing.
– For long-term benefit and oversight, prefer regular plan route.
– A Certified Financial Planner ensures goal tracking and risk management.
– This becomes more useful as your residency and tax laws evolve.

? Avoid Index Funds and ETFs for This Money
– Index funds replicate market index. There is no downside cushion.
– When markets fall, they drop fully.
– They do not adapt to changing market conditions.
– Actively managed funds provide risk monitoring and strategic shifting.
– For important goals and international residency shifts, that flexibility is valuable.

? Consider Currency Planning
– When you return, you may bring back funds to Indian rupees.
– Keep currency exchange rate in mind. Converting at unfavorable rate reduces value.
– If you plan to continue holding investments in India, there is no currency risk until you remit.
– But if redeeming while abroad, choose optimal timing for rupee strength.
– You may use NRO bank account for Indian investments and NRE for remittance.
– Consult a tax aware advisor in Germany and India to avoid double tax issues.

? Keep Documents Well?Organised
– Maintain fund investment statements, dividends and transaction details.
– File ITR showing these investments and any tax paid.
– This ensures legal compliance on return.
– If you receive letters from mutual fund houses or tax authorities, respond promptly.
– Declare capital gains correctly to avoid penalty interest.

? Action Plan Summary
– Confirm your tax residency status each financial year.
– Continue holding good-performing mutual funds and stocks.
– Use regular funds via CFP for goal tracking.
– Identify any poor-performing assets and exit gradually.
– If planned return expense is due soon after return, begin phased redemption.
– Spread capital gains across multiple years to reduce tax.
– Build a goal bucket if you expect expenses on return.
– Keep fund and dividend tax records for compliance.
– Avoid index funds and direct plans. Stick to active mutual funds via regular plan.
– Maintain NRO/NRE account correctly. Monitor FATCA reporting and PAN filings.

? Final Insights
You have maintained a well?built equity base even after moving abroad. Continuing your investments with thoughtful planning is wise. The focus should be on compliance, risk alignment, and goal linkage. Avoid impulsive redemption or shifting without strategy. With a certified financial planner guiding you via regular fund plans, you can preserve this wealth, remain tax?compliant, and use it effectively when you return in 3?4 years.

Your financial horizon remains strong even from abroad. Smart timing, structured withdrawals, ongoing oversight and goal clarity will help you bridge between Germany and your future back in India confidently.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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