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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 05, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Satish Question by Satish on Jul 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Ma'm, I have been married since 2007 having 2 children 14 yrs, 12 yrs. Now a days my wife having not interest in family life drama. means making tiffing for husband, caring of older men in home. so she make some little disute and left me alone. She went to her mother's home with 2 children. filed 498 domestic violence against me and other 4 family members (1 mother, 3 sisters-married). we went to get back her so many times but she refused to come as she has not remain interest to live with me. Ma'm, I become viable, sometimes feeling to commit sc, whats wrong with us i dont understood. pl. let me know , how to face this situation and keep mind calm or what to do next

Ans: Dear Satish,
Section 498A is a serious charge and do not let it slip by...Kindly contact a lawyer and present your side of the case for the lawyer to be able to fight on your behalf.
What has transpired between you and your wife, is something known only to the two of you; but instead pf talking it through, I don't understand why she has to drop a serious charge. Has there been any instances of cruelty against her from you or any family member? If Yes, do not waste any time and take this charge on you seriously. If No, it can damage your reputation, call for a lawyer immediately. (I don't have much information from you on why all of this could have happened; hence this is the only suggestion that i can make).

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 09, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am 39 Year Old Male and My wife is 37 years old, we are married for 12 years. We have 2 kids (A Son Aged 9 Years) and a daughter aged (2 years). We had good and bad both times during 12 years of our marriage. However it was my anger on petty issues which lead to multiple quarrels over the period. Last month again we had fight and my wife left home without my or my family knowladge along with both our kids to my in-laws. During this 1 month of seperation i realized my mistakes and are ready to amend it, but my wife lacks trust now. We are not in touch since she has left as she has blocked my number and send me court notice of maintenance also (Ofcourse notice has lot of lies also). No i have understood my family's values and unable to bear such distance from both wife and kids. What my wife is thinking i dont know. Financially i have always kept her happy but due to my quarrels things have gone bad now. Please advice what should be way forward for me and what should i do to bring my family back. PLEASE GUIDE!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Ego trips have divided the two of you considerably.
Seek the help of an elder member of a family who will act like a go-between and a mediator. He/She must be neutral and unbiased as well.
This helps in having a smooth flow in a conversation between you and your wife where both of you can our in your woes and also be clear on whether either of you want the marriage to continue or not. Also, take into account the children and their welfare as they are very young and any decision taken will impact them in one or many ways.
If this mediation fails, kindly seek the help of a marriage therapist/counselor even this means sharing 'stuff' with a total stranger. Most often that stranger will be the person to facilitate a smooth reconciliation if the couple also wants the same.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 29, 2024

Relationship
Hi I am a married man with 2.4 years old daughter and my wife regularly fights with me and puts an allegation on me and blames me a thief and says I take out all her things and she also abuses my mother and at present my mother is staying alone some where and says that my mother should not come back and she fights with me in front of my daughter and uses abusive language and what ever is the situation she brings my mother in between the conversation and starts blaming me. She has thrown her out of the house and always keeps on fighting. I have a fear, that she might leave me or my daughter as I cannot stay without my daughter and she keeps on saying that I do not want to stay with you and after a heated moment she turns normal and again starts abusing me and my mother, and due to this I am not able to concentrate on my job as I keep on thinking all the times about what will happen. Kindly suggest me what should I do as I do not want to keep my daughter’s future on risk as she always keeps on saying that her brother will take care of her and her brother says he will take a different house for her somewhere else and will keep her there as I would also want to highlight that her brothers wife relation is also not good and she does not allows my wife to enter into her house and my mother is law is also disturbed. Kindly suggest me a solution...?
Ans: Dear Amit,
First, recognize that you need to establish a calm and safe environment for your daughter. Witnessing regular fights and hearing abusive language can affect her emotional development. Ensuring her well-being should be your top priority. When disagreements arise, try to de-escalate the situation, even if that means temporarily walking away to avoid heated exchanges. Protecting her from these conflicts will help create a more stable atmosphere.

Your wife's behavior—shifting between anger and normalcy—indicates that there might be underlying issues driving her actions. It could be unresolved frustrations, unmet expectations, or even external stressors affecting her emotions. While her way of expressing these feelings is not constructive, it's important to find a way to understand what’s fueling her anger. Having an open, non-confrontational conversation during a calm moment can be a starting point. Express your concerns about the impact of these fights on your relationship and your daughter, and make it clear that you want to work together to find solutions.

It may also be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a counselor or family mediator. A professional can provide a safe space for both of you to express your grievances and work on resolving them constructively. It sounds like trust and respect have eroded in your relationship, and rebuilding them requires mutual effort and clear communication.

At the same time, focus on managing your stress and mental health. The constant worry about the future and your daughter's well-being is understandably affecting your ability to concentrate on work. Practice self-care through activities that help you stay grounded, whether it’s exercise, meditation, or speaking with a trusted friend or counselor about your feelings. Taking care of yourself will help you approach these challenges with a clearer mind.

If your wife continues to threaten to leave or involve her family in ways that disrupt your peace, it’s important to consider all legal and practical options to protect your rights and ensure the best for your daughter. Consult a legal advisor to understand your rights as a father and the steps you can take to secure your daughter’s future if separation becomes unavoidable.

Ultimately, resolving this situation will require patience, empathy, and, most importantly, a focus on what’s best for your child. If both you and your wife are willing to work on the relationship, there is hope for improvement. However, if the environment remains toxic despite your efforts, prioritizing your daughter's emotional and physical safety should guide your decisions moving forward.

..Read more

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
hi iam 53 yhears old got married around 18 yearsw back to my wife she is no 39 years old good evening i got married and i have three kids elder is 18 years younger is 16 years and i have daughter of 10years old since my marriage there was always clash between me and my wife for small silly reasons it was going on but since 3 years the clash become very rash and she even gave complaint on me to lady police station she threated me and every night i come late that time i am taking drinks she started to quarrel even not allows me to have food she drive me wild and in my unconsious mind i oftenly i use to abuse her with bad words even my neighbours many time they came to resolve the problem now she is asking property which i have gained from my parents. and since one year she is treating me like stray dog and never allowes me to have sex routenly she sleep like a dead in my bed. she left my house taking my all kids since last 6 months i forced to live alone now by some how i manage to bring her to my house along with kids but she refused having sex with me and she neverhad sex with me since 7 months i have becom patient of depression i dont know what to do please help me in this regard thank you
Ans: Hello sir. I have read your message and I would first like to express my opinion that a partner is not always for sex. There are many other ways to take care of your partner. You could take your wife out for dinner, go out on a picnic, go with with her to her parents' house. But when we dont do all these things and just want sex from partner. That doesn't work. At this age she might be going through some hormonal changes also. I suggest you to start behaving nicely with your wife and start taking care of her. Slowly the things will improve between you too.
Take care !
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me : https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8314 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2025

Money
Hi Madam, I purchased 200gm of RBI Sovereign gold bond in August 2020. Should i go for early redemption or wait for 8 years .Regards Puneet Dave
Ans: You have invested in RBI Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs) in August 2020. You hold 200 grams, which is a sizeable investment. You are now considering whether to redeem early or hold till maturity. Let’s assess from all angles.

 
 
Understanding Your SGB Investment

 
 

You bought it in August 2020. The 8-year maturity will be in August 2028.

 
 

So, 3.5+ years are over. Around 4.5 years are still left.

 
 

You earn 2.5% annual interest on the issue price. That is paid half-yearly.

 
 

At maturity, you get full market value of gold (as per RBI price on maturity date).

 
 

Gains at maturity are fully tax-free if held till 8 years. This is the biggest advantage.

 
 
Early Redemption – What You Should Know

 
 

RBI allows early exit only after 5 years, and that too only on interest payout dates.

 
 

If you redeem before 8 years, capital gains are taxable.

 
 

Gains will be taxed at 20% after indexation if held more than 3 years.

 
 

That reduces the post-tax returns. You lose the full tax-free benefit.

 
 

Also, if you sell in the secondary market, prices may be lower than actual value.

 
 
Why It’s Better to Hold Till Maturity

 
 

The biggest reason to hold is zero tax on capital gains after 8 years.

 
 

You also continue to earn 2.5% annual interest, which is over and above gold price return.

 
 

The longer you stay, the more you benefit from compounding on gold price growth.

 
 

Your total return = Gold appreciation + 2.5% interest + Zero tax. This is unmatched.

 
 

Selling now will only give you part of this benefit. You will lose long-term compounding.

 
 
When Early Exit Can Be Considered

 
 

If you are in urgent need of money, then only consider early redemption.

 
 

If you are switching to another asset for a defined financial goal, then it's acceptable.

 
 

But even then, use the RBI redemption window (after 5 years), not the market.

 
 

Don’t sell SGBs on stock exchange. It gives lower price and liquidity is poor.

 
 
Suggested Action Plan for You

 
 

You have waited for 3.5 years. Just wait for the remaining 4.5 years.

 
 

You will get full value with 0% tax, which no other gold investment gives.

 
 

Keep the 2.5% interest going to your bank account. Use it or reinvest it.

 
 

Review again after August 2025 (5 years). But likely, maturity will be best option.

 
 

Holding till August 2028 will give you the maximum financial benefit.

 
 
Final Insights

 
 

Your SGB investment is in the right direction. It gives safe, tax-efficient, and stable returns.

 
 

Holding it till maturity is almost always the best choice unless there is urgent need.

 
 

Don’t be influenced by short-term gold price movements. Let it grow tax-free.

 
 

You have made a smart decision in 2020. Just give it the full 8 years to reward you.

 
 

Best Regards,
 
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
 
Chief Financial Planner
 
www.holisticinvestment.in
 
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8314 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2025
Money
I am 43 years old and an aggressive investor and I started investing 1 lac per month in SIP in 2019. These are my current funds of 20k each per month : 1. CANARA ROBECO EMERGING EQUITIES 2. HDFC MID-CAP OPPORTUNITIES FUND 3. SBI FLEXICAP FUND 4. ICICI PRUDENTIAL BLUECHIP FUND 5. NIPPON INDIA SMALL CAP FUND In 2024, i started to invest another 1.8 lacs per month split in the following funds : 6. Quant Small Cap Fund 7. Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund 8. Canara Robeco Infrastructure 9. Quant Large and Mid Cap Fund 10. Bandhan Small cap Fund 11. Quant Commodities Fund 12. LIC MF Manufacturing Fund 13. Quant Dynamic Asset Allocation Fund 14. INVESCO INDIA LARGE AND MID CAP FUND 15. SBI Automotive Opportunities Fund 16. Motilal Oswal Large and Midcap Fund Could you share your views on my overall portfolio please, and if I should change any of them ? I am a long term investor and not in any hurry to sell. Thanks
Ans: You have shown strong commitment. Investing Rs. 1 lakh monthly since 2019 is highly disciplined. Adding Rs. 1.8 lakh more monthly in 2024 further shows your aggressive mindset and future planning.

Let me assess your portfolio thoroughly, from all angles. I will explain every layer of your mutual fund selection and offer insights for improvements. Your portfolio has both strengths and gaps. Let’s examine it part by part.

 
 
Your Risk Profile and Time Horizon

 
 

You are 43. Retirement may still be 15+ years away. Time is on your side.

 
 

You have clearly defined yourself as an aggressive investor. That’s good.

 
 

You are not looking for short-term exits. That’s ideal for equity investments.

 
 

You are mentally strong for market ups and downs. Patience is your strength.

 
 
Your Monthly Commitment and Fund Spread

 
 

You invest Rs. 2.8 lakh per month. That’s a huge amount. Very few do this.

 
 

You are split across 16 funds. That’s on the higher side. Needs review.

 
 

Too many funds reduce focus. You don’t get full advantage from each fund.

 
 

There’s fund overlap. You’re holding multiple funds in similar categories.

 
 
Fund Category Allocation Overview

 
 

Let’s look at your fund categories. We will see where you are strong and where things are scattered.

 
 

Small Cap Funds – You hold 4 small cap funds. That’s too many.

 
 

Mid Cap Funds – You hold 3 mid cap funds. That’s slightly high.

 
 

Flexicap / Large & Mid Cap – You have 4 funds here. Needs cleanup.

 
 

Bluechip / Large Cap – Only 1 fund here. Slightly under-represented.

 
 

Thematic / Sectoral Funds – You have 4 funds here. That is risky.

 
 

Dynamic Asset Allocation – You have 1 fund here. That adds balance.

 
 
Your Portfolio Strengths

 
 

Let’s appreciate what’s working well in your portfolio.

 
 

You have shown long-term vision. Most investors can’t hold on patiently.

 
 

You have a good mix of mid, small and flexicap funds. Growth-oriented.

 
 

You have started SIP early and maintained consistency. That builds wealth.

 
 

Your fund choices include a few high-quality performers. That’s commendable.

 
 

You have added new funds in 2024. That shows adaptability and planning.

 
 
Areas That Need Immediate Attention

 
 

Now let’s look at areas which need a clean-up or some correction.

 
 

Too Many Funds: 16 is too many. Even 8 to 10 is enough. Reduce clutter.

 
 

Too Many Small Cap Funds: 4 small caps can add high risk and volatility.

 
 

Overlapping Categories: Some midcap and flexicap funds behave similarly.

 
 

Too Much Sector Exposure: Infrastructure, Commodities, Auto, Manufacturing – that’s high sector risk.

 
 

Unstable Funds: Some thematic funds do well in cycles. Not suitable for SIP always.

 
 

Missing Debt Allocation: Even aggressive investors need some debt buffer. None seen.

 
 
Suggested Adjustments to Your Portfolio

 
 

Let’s work on a 360-degree improvement plan. Keep it practical and action-oriented.

 
 

Reduce Fund Count: Bring it down to around 8-10 funds. Better tracking and performance.

 
 

Limit Small Cap Funds: Keep only 2 small cap funds. Choose based on past 5-year track.

 
 

Mid Cap Funds: Keep only 2 best-performing midcap funds. Avoid redundancy.

 
 

Flexicap or Large & Mid Cap: Keep 2 funds from this group. Review performance, not names.

 
 

Sector Funds: Choose only 1 or max 2. Prefer long-term stable sectors.

 
 

Add a Balanced Fund: Include 1 balanced advantage or dynamic allocation fund. That helps in market correction phases.

 
 

Review Every 6 Months: Don’t hold laggards. Evaluate every 6 months with your MFD with CFP credential.

 
 

Avoid Direct Plans: Stick to regular plans. You get advisory, service, and emotional coaching.

 
 

Direct funds seem cheaper, but long-term mistakes cost more. Regular funds through a qualified CFP help in discipline.

 
 
Understanding Sector and Thematic Funds

 
 

You hold infrastructure, commodities, auto, and manufacturing funds. These sectors are cyclical.

 
 

These can give sudden highs, but also long flat phases. SIP in sector funds may not suit everyone.

 
 

Keep exposure limited to 10-15% of portfolio. Don’t exceed this.

 
 

Sectoral funds need regular review. If the cycle turns, exit and shift to diversified funds.

 
 

Infrastructure and auto can be held longer term. But commodities and manufacturing are highly volatile.

 
 
Importance of Professional Guidance

 
 

You are handling Rs. 2.8 lakh monthly. That’s a large portfolio in the making.

 
 

A certified financial planner helps in making fund selection efficient.

 
 

They offer risk alignment, taxation insights, rebalancing strategy and emotional handholding.

 
 

Avoid trial and error. Stick with a long-term plan. Don’t get influenced by social media noise.

 
 

Emotional investing hurts performance. A CFP brings clarity and structure.

 
 
Asset Allocation for 43-Year-Old Aggressive Investor

 
 

Let’s look at a suggested structure for you.

 
 

Large Cap + Flexicap + Large & Mid Cap Funds: Around 40-45%

 
 

Mid Cap Funds: Around 25-30%

 
 

Small Cap Funds: Not more than 15%

 
 

Sectoral + Thematic Funds: Around 10%

 
 

Balanced / Hybrid Fund: 5-10% for cushioning market corrections

 
 

This brings balance, growth and flexibility.

 
 
Avoiding Common Pitfalls

 
 

You are already advanced in your investing. Still, let’s watch out for some key mistakes.

 
 

Don't Chase Past Returns: Every year’s winner won’t repeat. Look at long-term consistency.

 
 

Avoid Frequent Switching: Let SIPs run for 5-7 years to show full potential.

 
 

Don’t React to Market News: Volatility is natural. Stay calm. Don’t stop SIPs in correction.

 
 

Monitor Fund Manager Changes: If a top-performing fund loses its manager, review it closely.

 
 

Track Portfolio, Not Just Individual Funds: Overall performance matters, not one or two funds.

 
 
MF Taxation Update as per 2024 Rules

 
 

New tax rules are important. Let’s simplify them for you.

 
 

Equity MF LTCG: Above Rs. 1.25 lakh gain per year taxed at 12.5%

 
 

Equity MF STCG: Short-term capital gains taxed at 20%

 
 

Debt MFs: All gains taxed as per your income tax slab. No LTCG benefit now.

 
 

So it’s even more important to hold funds for 3-5 years minimum.

 
 
Finally

 
 

You have done the most important part – start early, invest regularly, and increase investment over time.

 
 

But now the next step is to simplify, consolidate and add structure.

 
 

Cut down fund count. Avoid theme overload. Maintain allocation. Stick to long term.

 
 

Have a goal-based approach with a certified financial planner. Stay calm in market corrections.

 
 

Your portfolio can create real wealth. Just stay disciplined and focused.

 
 

Best Regards,
 
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
 
Chief Financial Planner
 
www.holisticinvestment.in
 
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8314 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2025

Money
Hello. should i continue investing in Hybrid equity funds or should i shift those funds to midcap and index funds??
Ans: You are currently investing in hybrid equity funds.
Now you're thinking of shifting to midcap or index funds.

Let’s analyse each of these based on your possible goals and situation.

First, Let’s Understand Hybrid Equity Funds
Hybrid equity funds balance equity and debt in one fund.

They offer stability from debt and growth from equity.

They are good if you want moderate returns with lower volatility.

Suitable if your goal is 3 to 5 years away or if you are conservative.

Gives a smoother ride during market ups and downs.

What Happens If You Move to Midcap Funds?
Midcap funds invest in medium-sized companies with high growth potential.

But midcap funds are very volatile in the short term.

Risk is much higher, though potential return is also higher.

If your goal is more than 7 years away, and you can handle ups and downs, only then consider midcap funds.

Don’t shift to midcaps just because of recent past returns.

Midcaps require strong patience and discipline during market corrections.

What About Index Funds?
Index funds are passive funds that copy the market index.

They do not try to beat the market returns. They only match it.

They look attractive due to low cost, but they come with no downside protection.

When market falls, index funds fall fully with the market.

No active manager is there to protect you or take advantage of opportunities.

Returns are limited to index performance. No extra gain possible.

In fact, when markets are sideways or falling, index funds underperform active funds.

Key Disadvantages of Index Funds (You Must Know)
No flexibility during market ups and downs.

Zero risk management by fund manager.

Index funds follow index blindly, even if companies in index are poor.

If market goes down 30%, index fund will also fall 30%.

You are on your own, with no expert adjusting portfolio.

Index funds underperform actively managed funds in India over long term, especially in mid and small caps.

Index investing may look attractive in theory, but in real-world, it is less flexible and more risky.

Why Staying in Hybrid Equity Funds May Be Better
You get a good balance of risk and reward.

Debt portion cushions fall during market crash.

Better suited for income generation, goal planning, and retirement strategy.

Actively managed hybrid funds give better flexibility and better returns in volatile markets.

Hybrid funds have performed better than index funds in falling markets.

If You Want to Grow More Aggressively
You can slowly start investing a small part into actively managed midcap funds.

Start with 10%-15% of your portfolio in midcap.

Keep rest in hybrid funds for stability.

Increase midcap exposure only if you are comfortable with the volatility.

Don’t move entire amount to midcap or index funds at once.

Don’t Invest in Direct Funds (Important Insight)
Direct funds may look like they give more returns.

But in reality, you miss professional guidance and ongoing review.

Investing without a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and MFD support leads to poor choices.

Many people choose wrong funds or wrong time to exit.

Regular plans with a good CFP and MFD help you stay disciplined and goal-focused.

Advice matters more than saving 0.5% cost in direct plans.

Final Insights
Hybrid funds give balanced growth and peace of mind.

Midcap funds are good, but only for long-term investors with high risk capacity.

Index funds look simple, but have no risk control and no potential to outperform.

Don’t shift completely from hybrid to index or midcap funds.

Stay in hybrid funds, and add midcap gradually under expert guidance.

Always invest through regular plans with support from a CFP-qualified MFD.

Ensure your portfolio is aligned with your goals, risk profile, and timeline.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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