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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |120 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 29, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Bj Question by Bj on Mar 17, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Doctor, I am a 42 year old working woman, happily married for the last 17 yrs, I have had a total work experience of about 18 yrs and at a mid-mgt level at work, I have a problem, I have worked extremely hard and long hours most of my life and now I have come to a point where I no longer want to work as hard. While I am good at what I do, and get appreciated at work and also have been getting monetary rewards, I also realise that I have a certain episode at times where I am no longer in control of my emotions at work, there have been two episodes in the last 1 year where I cant control my tears and have excused myself and gone to the washroom to be able to stop the episode; and sometimes the reasons are trivial, I dont know what to do to keep myself calm during such episodes. I have tried multiple things like deep breathing when the situation like this arises, i try to do a mental math, try my best to analyse what is the trigger point, but I seem to have no control over this emotional breakdown. What can I do to deal with this ? I am embarrassed of myself and find it difficult to confide in anyone when this situation comes. Please help.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing difficulty controlling your emotions at work. It sounds like you are experiencing emotional dysregulation, which can be challenging to manage. There are several strategies that you can try to help you cope better with these episodes:

Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness meditation regularly, as this can help you stay more present and centered in the moment. This practice involves focusing your attention on your breath, physical sensations in your body, or other objects of attention. The goal is to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment or reaction, which can help you respond more effectively in difficult situations.

Identify Triggers: It is important to identify what is causing these emotional breakdowns at work. You may want to keep a journal to track the triggers that set off these episodes. Once you have identified the triggers, you can work on ways to minimize or eliminate them.

Self-care: It is important to take care of yourself, both physically and mentally. This includes getting enough sleep, exercise, eating healthy foods, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

Seek support: It may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor who can help you develop coping strategies for dealing with your emotions. A therapist can also help you explore the root causes of your emotional dysregulation and work with you to develop a plan for managing it.

Seek professional help: In some cases, emotional dysregulation can be a symptom of an underlying mental health condition. If you are experiencing other symptoms, such as difficulty sleeping, persistent sadness or anxiety, or changes in appetite or energy levels, it may be a good idea to speak with a mental health professional.

Remember that it is okay to feel emotions and that you do not have to suppress them. However, learning to regulate them can help you manage them more effectively and prevent them from interfering with your work and personal life.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello First i request you to please don't reveal my name here I am 37 years married having 2 kids ( 7 & 6 Years) I have problem with anger i use to get angry on small things or debate & sometimes loudly shout I am unable to control my anger Next i have addiction of porn chat which i want to stop I also have problems of acidity with Eeylead pain & burning sensation in penis Doctor told me the pain of eyelead is due to anxiety for the burning doctor has advised me lots of report which i did but all was normal but i have the problem still Please guide if you have any suggestions to stop all of these
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly visit a good GP for sorting out issues related to your physical health. It can give you a second opinion on why your problems are still persisting.
Also, spending time on activities that don't challenge the mind productively will make you feel upset or drained out. That might explain your anger as you possibly are not experiencing a sense of fulfilment.
Why not use the same time to learn something new OR actually hit the gym? This not only distracts but also will help channelize your energy into more meaningful things.
Your children are young and full of energy. Spend time and create memories with them and your family. This time investment goes a long way in strengthening family bonds and will also teach the children the importance of family and family values.
Most often a small tweak to our way of living can help not only keep our mental and physical health in order but also create a better environment for our loved ones.

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |474 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello life coach, I am 44 yrs old, married to a Beautiful and caring woman and have two kids 12 and 10 years old. I am doing extremely well professionally, financially and personally. Kids study in top schools and while elder is a champion student in academics the younger one is very good in sports. I know the life i live is a dream life. High position in company a vibrant work life balance, highly professionally qualified and fit health wise. But Ma'am/sir my problem is i have this extremely high liking and disliking attitude towards people and it makes me biased and my body nearly shivers and voice cracks when i am angry. Normally people who meet me think i am a cool guy, but deep inside i feel myself like a fool when i am emotionally charged both when extremely happy or angry. Please help. I see myself growing even more with the kind of personality and support i have. Please help, please suggest ways to improve and manage my emotions well. I want to improve for my own sake and my loving family including my young kids. Please help Ma'am/sir.
Ans: First, I want to acknowledge your remarkable self-awareness and the wonderful life you’ve built. You’ve achieved a great balance professionally, financially, and personally, and you have a beautiful, supportive family. It’s fantastic that you’re committed to continuing to grow and improve for yourself and your loved ones.

Managing emotions, especially strong ones, is an essential skill that can benefit every aspect of your life. To start, it's important to understand what triggers your intense emotional reactions. Keeping a journal can be incredibly helpful. Write down when you feel extremely happy or angry, and note the events leading up to those emotions. This process will help you recognize patterns and triggers.

Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools for managing emotions. These practices help you stay present and reduce the intensity of emotional responses. You might find guided meditation apps like Headspace or Calm useful as they can provide structure and consistency. Try dedicating a few minutes each day to these practices, and you’ll likely notice a calming effect on your mind and body.

When it comes to regulating emotions, specific techniques can be very effective. Cognitive reframing, for instance, involves challenging and changing unhelpful thoughts that lead to extreme emotions. Grounding exercises, such as focusing on what you can see, hear, and touch, can bring you back to the present moment and reduce emotional overwhelm. Taking a moment to pause and reflect before reacting can also make a significant difference.

Developing empathy is another crucial step. Try to understand others' perspectives more deeply. This can diminish negative emotions and biases, leading to better communication and stronger relationships. When you feel your emotions rising, practice expressing them calmly and constructively. Use "I" statements to convey your feelings without placing blame, such as "I feel upset when...".

If you find that managing these emotions on your own is challenging, seeking professional help is a wise decision. A therapist or counselor can provide personalized strategies and support. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), in particular, is effective for managing emotions and developing healthier thinking patterns.

Incorporating regular physical activity into your routine can also help regulate your emotions. Exercise reduces stress and boosts overall well-being. Whether it’s yoga, running, or even a daily walk, physical activity can make a substantial difference.


Practicing gratitude can shift your mindset from negative to positive. Consider keeping a gratitude journal and writing down a few things you’re thankful for each day. This simple practice can have a profound impact on your outlook and emotional health.



Remember, improvement takes time and effort. Start small, gradually incorporating these practices into your daily routine, and celebrate your progress along the way. By working on these areas, you'll not only improve your emotional regulation but also enhance your overall quality of life and strengthen your relationships with your family and colleagues.

You’re on a great path, and your commitment to growth is truly admirable. Keep pushing forward, and you'll continue to thrive both personally and professionally.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Shalini

Shalini Singh  |142 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jan 08, 2025

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Why do hotels in India disallow unmarried couples? A few months ago, I was travelling with my girlfriend (who was my colleague then, we weren't dating then) on a work trip and suddenly, we received a knock on the door at night asking us to vacate the room in Delhi. It was 2 am and we were sleeping on different beds. There was a partition in the room, yet we were asked to pack and leave because some guest had complained. In the middle of the night no one was willing to offer us a room. It was an odd hour so at 4.30 am, I finally told the manager to let my GF hire a room as we had nowhere to go. I waited in the reception area. Isn't it unsafe to take the booking and then ask us to vacate later? Why is India so rude to unmarried couples? A boy and a girl could also be friends sharing a room to save money!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Each hotel use discretion to allow or disallow an unmarried couple from staying in their premises. There could be various reasons which may include activities which are outside of the law. Now, to what has happened to you is very inconsiderate. My question to you is: while booking, did you look at the hotel policies? If it says: unmarried couples allowed, then whatever has happened can be challenged and you can possibly demand a refund for unfair treatment. If it disallows unmarried couples and they have accommodated you, even then they are in the wrong for going against their own policies and then inconveniencing you.
So, clarity on this will give you an idea as to what exactly happened.
I don't know if India is being rude to unmarried couples as each person will view it through their lens and come to a conclusion as to whether it's right or wrong. Always check the hotel policies before booking.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1133 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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Career
This is my first time appearing for GATE, and I’m already feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the preparation. Now that the admit card release is approaching, I’m worried about missing any important details. Could you please explain the step-by-step process to download the admit card and what documents I should carry on the exam day?
Ans: Hello dear.
What is a surprise that you are appearing in the GATE examination 1st time? Everybody goes through this situation. You are on the turn of completing your B.E./B.Tech. and at this point, the anxiety developed not showing good symptoms. Be cool and relax. Since 3-4 years you are well acquainted with the engineering examination pattern. The difference between regular and GATE is that, for GATE, you have to prepare F.E. to B.E. syllabus and that is the only issue. A candidate who remained sincere from 1st year will not have any type of anxiety with GATE. Try to cover the syllabus in depth as early as possible. Now, related to your admit card, visit the GATE website where you will receive an announcement via SMS/email to download the admit card. Follow the steps mentioned in the email and download it. On the respective website, everything is mentioned clearly about the documents to be carried on the examination day. Keep a close eye on the GATE examination. Best of luck for your upcoming examinations in the future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Mr Ramalingam, Good Afternoon. I am 55years old. I had purchased two SBI life policies(Plan Name: SBIL- Smart Privilege Series III- RP and LP) one for self and one for my wife with annually paid premiums of ?1200000/- and ?600000/- respectively in Feb 2023 for Policy Term of 10 years. I have two questions: 1. Is paying annual premium financially beneficial as compared to paying half yearly or quarterly? 2. Should I continue paying the premium after the first compulsory premiums of 5 years or invest the amount in Equity Mutual funds for better appreciation of money? Thank you, Warm Regards.
Ans: Investing Rs. 12,00,000 annually for yourself and Rs. 6,00,000 for your wife in SBI Life Smart Privilege plans requires a thorough evaluation. Your queries about premium payment frequency and policy continuation beyond five years are critical for maximising returns and aligning with your financial goals.

Let’s analyse these aspects comprehensively.

1. Premium Payment Frequency: Annual vs Half-Yearly or Quarterly
Cost Efficiency of Annual Premiums

Annual premiums often cost less than half-yearly or quarterly options. Insurers offer discounts for lump-sum annual payments.

Paying in smaller instalments results in additional administrative charges. This increases the total cost of the policy.

Annual payments ensure immediate allocation of your funds. Half-yearly or quarterly payments delay this allocation, reducing the compounding benefit.

Opting for annual payments is financially efficient, provided cash flow permits it.

Impact on Cash Flow

Annual payments require larger cash reserves. Evaluate whether this impacts your liquidity needs.

If cash flow is constrained, half-yearly or quarterly options provide flexibility. However, they incur higher costs.

2. Continuation After 5 Years vs Investing in Equity Mutual Funds
Performance of ULIPs vs Equity Mutual Funds

SBI Life Smart Privilege is a ULIP (Unit-Linked Insurance Plan). ULIPs combine insurance with investments.

ULIPs have higher charges such as policy administration, premium allocation, and fund management fees. These charges reduce net returns.

Equity Mutual Funds often outperform ULIPs due to lower expense ratios. They focus solely on wealth creation, unlike ULIPs.

Lock-In Period Considerations

ULIPs have a mandatory 5-year lock-in. Beyond this period, the decision to continue depends on fund performance and your financial goals.

Evaluate your ULIP’s fund performance against comparable equity mutual funds. If it underperforms, consider discontinuing premium payments.

Flexibility and Liquidity

Mutual funds offer better liquidity and flexibility. You can withdraw or switch funds based on market conditions.

ULIPs restrict fund switches to options within the policy. Mutual funds provide a wider range of choices.

Advantages of Shifting to Equity Mutual Funds
Higher Returns: Actively managed equity funds generally deliver higher long-term returns than ULIPs.

Lower Charges: Mutual funds have lower expense ratios, maximising your investment growth.

Tax Efficiency: Equity mutual funds have tax benefits, but gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. ULIPs have tax-free withdrawals under certain conditions, but the overall returns may still lag.

Goal Alignment: Mutual funds are better suited for long-term wealth creation and goal-specific planning.

Why Not Index Funds?

Index funds lack active management. They simply replicate market indices without adapting to market conditions.

Actively managed funds, on the other hand, strive to outperform the market. They offer better returns when managed by experienced professionals.

Index funds cannot shield against downside risks during market corrections. Actively managed funds provide better resilience in volatile markets.

Evaluating Policy Continuation After 5 Years
Key Questions to Assess

Is the ULIP’s fund performance aligned with your expectations?

Are the charges within the ULIP justified by the returns it offers?

Would reallocating the premium to mutual funds provide better results for your goals?

Strategic Approach

If ULIP performance is consistently below par, you can stop further premiums after five years.

Shift future premiums to mutual funds. Choose funds based on your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Retain the accumulated corpus in the ULIP until maturity to avoid surrender penalties.

Steps to Optimise Your Investments
Review Fund Performance: Regularly assess the returns generated by your ULIP. Compare them with benchmark indices and mutual funds.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: A CFP can guide you in selecting suitable mutual funds for reallocation.

Diversify Investments: Spread your investments across equity, balanced, and debt funds for optimal risk management.

Leverage Tax Benefits: Plan withdrawals strategically to minimise tax liabilities under the new mutual fund taxation rules.

Taxation Insights
ULIPs offer tax-free maturity proceeds under Section 10(10D) if annual premiums do not exceed Rs. 2,50,000.

Mutual funds are subject to the following tax rules:

Equity mutual funds: Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term gains on equity funds are taxed at 20%.
Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab.
Consider these rules when deciding between ULIPs and mutual funds.

Key Takeaways
Annual premium payments are cost-effective if cash flow permits.

Continuing ULIPs beyond five years depends on their performance and alignment with your goals.

Equity mutual funds are a better option for wealth creation due to higher returns and lower charges.

Diversify investments and consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalised advice.

Final Insights
Your decision to invest in ULIPs was a thoughtful one, considering their insurance benefits. However, for long-term wealth creation, mutual funds could offer better appreciation. Evaluating the performance of your ULIPs after five years is crucial. If they underperform, consider reallocating your premiums to equity mutual funds for enhanced returns.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
Money
Sir I am planning to invest Rs.2000/= per month in SIP and the duration will be 10 years. What will be the return on the due date
Ans: Investing Rs. 2000 per month in a SIP for 10 years is a wise decision. Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) provide disciplined and goal-oriented investing. Let’s assess your plan, its potential returns, and the key aspects of such investments.

Benefits of a 10-Year SIP
Power of Compounding
SIPs leverage compounding, helping your money grow faster over time. Starting early allows compounding to work better for you.

Market Volatility Management
SIPs mitigate risks of market volatility. They encourage purchasing more units when prices are low.

Affordable and Flexible
Starting with Rs. 2000 ensures affordability and consistency. Flexibility to increase contributions is an added benefit.

Wealth Accumulation Potential
A 10-year SIP can generate substantial wealth. Equity-based funds generally outperform other investments over the long term.

Expected Returns from Your SIP
Equity mutual funds typically yield 10-12% annual returns over the long term. With Rs. 2000 monthly, you could accumulate Rs. 4-5 lakh in 10 years.

Debt funds yield lower returns, around 6-8%. These funds are safer but less suitable for long-term goals.

Balanced funds blend equity and debt. They balance risk and return, yielding 8-10% annually.

Your choice of fund type affects your returns. Selecting the right fund category is crucial.

Factors Influencing Returns
Fund Selection
Actively managed funds often outperform index funds. Professional fund managers optimise portfolios for better performance.

Market Conditions
Equity market performance directly impacts returns. Long-term investments reduce the risk of short-term volatility.

Tax Implications
Equity fund gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh attract 12.5% tax. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. Understanding taxation helps in planning redemptions.

Expense Ratios
Funds charge fees for managing investments. Actively managed funds have slightly higher costs than index funds. Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensure professional advice for these costs.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds lack flexibility. They mimic indices and cannot capitalise on market opportunities.

They do not protect against downside risk during market crashes. Actively managed funds can adjust to such scenarios.

Active funds offer higher returns when managed well. Professional management adds value to your investment.

Why Regular Funds with CFP Guidance?
Direct funds save costs but lack personalised advice. A Certified Financial Planner offers tailored strategies for your goals.

Regular funds through an MFD with CFP credentials ensure professional monitoring. They also simplify documentation and compliance.

How to Proceed
Set Clear Goals
Define your financial goal for this SIP. Is it for wealth creation, education, or retirement?

Assess Risk Appetite
Choose funds aligning with your comfort level. Equity funds are ideal for higher returns but come with risks.

Review Performance
Select funds with consistent track records over five to ten years.

Diversify Investments
Consider investing in different categories for balanced risk and returns.

Review Periodically
Assess performance annually. Switch funds if they consistently underperform.

Insights on SIP Taxation
Gains on equity mutual funds held for over a year qualify as LTCG. Only gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per your slab rate.

Consider these rules while planning withdrawals. Tax-efficient withdrawals maximise returns.

SIP Advantages Over Other Investments
SIPs outperform fixed deposits and traditional insurance plans. They offer better liquidity and inflation-beating returns.

Real estate requires significant upfront capital and involves illiquidity. SIPs are more flexible and accessible.

Gold investments lack the potential for high returns compared to equity funds.

Common Mistakes to Avoid
Delaying Investments
Starting early maximises compounding benefits.

Stopping SIPs During Market Lows
Continue investments even during market downturns. They offer opportunities to buy units at lower prices.

Ignoring Goal Alignment
Match your SIPs with specific financial goals.

Final Insights
Investing Rs. 2000 per month for 10 years through SIPs is a smart choice. It can help you achieve long-term goals and build wealth steadily.

Focus on selecting funds aligned with your objectives. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio for optimal performance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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