Hello Doctor, I am a 42 year old working woman, happily married for the last 17 yrs, I have had a total work experience of about 18 yrs and at a mid-mgt level at work, I have a problem, I have worked extremely hard and long hours most of my life and now I have come to a point where I no longer want to work as hard. While I am good at what I do, and get appreciated at work and also have been getting monetary rewards, I also realise that I have a certain episode at times where I am no longer in control of my emotions at work, there have been two episodes in the last 1 year where I cant control my tears and have excused myself and gone to the washroom to be able to stop the episode; and sometimes the reasons are trivial, I dont know what to do to keep myself calm during such episodes. I have tried multiple things like deep breathing when the situation like this arises, i try to do a mental math, try my best to analyse what is the trigger point, but I seem to have no control over this emotional breakdown. What can I do to deal with this ? I am embarrassed of myself and find it difficult to confide in anyone when this situation comes. Please help.

Ans:

It is good thing to express your emotions.

However, if you are not able to control them, you should dwell on the triggers and address any suppressed emotions.

Simple yogic meditation is the best way to deal with emotions.

You can start with chanting Om for 10-15 minutes a day; gradually increase the time. Also start Anulom Vilom pranayama to balance the mind.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly visit a good GP for sorting out issues related to your physical health. It can give you a second opinion on why your problems are still persisting.
Also, spending time on activities that don't challenge the mind productively will make you feel upset or drained out. That might explain your anger as you possibly are not experiencing a sense of fulfilment.
Why not use the same time to learn something new OR actually hit the gym? This not only distracts but also will help channelize your energy into more meaningful things.
Your children are young and full of energy. Spend time and create memories with them and your family. This time investment goes a long way in strengthening family bonds and will also teach the children the importance of family and family values.
Most often a small tweak to our way of living can help not only keep our mental and physical health in order but also create a better environment for our loved ones.

All the best!

Ans: First, I want to acknowledge your remarkable self-awareness and the wonderful life you’ve built. You’ve achieved a great balance professionally, financially, and personally, and you have a beautiful, supportive family. It’s fantastic that you’re committed to continuing to grow and improve for yourself and your loved ones.

Managing emotions, especially strong ones, is an essential skill that can benefit every aspect of your life. To start, it's important to understand what triggers your intense emotional reactions. Keeping a journal can be incredibly helpful. Write down when you feel extremely happy or angry, and note the events leading up to those emotions. This process will help you recognize patterns and triggers.

Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools for managing emotions. These practices help you stay present and reduce the intensity of emotional responses. You might find guided meditation apps like Headspace or Calm useful as they can provide structure and consistency. Try dedicating a few minutes each day to these practices, and you’ll likely notice a calming effect on your mind and body.

When it comes to regulating emotions, specific techniques can be very effective. Cognitive reframing, for instance, involves challenging and changing unhelpful thoughts that lead to extreme emotions. Grounding exercises, such as focusing on what you can see, hear, and touch, can bring you back to the present moment and reduce emotional overwhelm. Taking a moment to pause and reflect before reacting can also make a significant difference.

Developing empathy is another crucial step. Try to understand others' perspectives more deeply. This can diminish negative emotions and biases, leading to better communication and stronger relationships. When you feel your emotions rising, practice expressing them calmly and constructively. Use "I" statements to convey your feelings without placing blame, such as "I feel upset when...".

If you find that managing these emotions on your own is challenging, seeking professional help is a wise decision. A therapist or counselor can provide personalized strategies and support. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), in particular, is effective for managing emotions and developing healthier thinking patterns.

Incorporating regular physical activity into your routine can also help regulate your emotions. Exercise reduces stress and boosts overall well-being. Whether it’s yoga, running, or even a daily walk, physical activity can make a substantial difference.


Practicing gratitude can shift your mindset from negative to positive. Consider keeping a gratitude journal and writing down a few things you’re thankful for each day. This simple practice can have a profound impact on your outlook and emotional health.



Remember, improvement takes time and effort. Start small, gradually incorporating these practices into your daily routine, and celebrate your progress along the way. By working on these areas, you'll not only improve your emotional regulation but also enhance your overall quality of life and strengthen your relationships with your family and colleagues.

You’re on a great path, and your commitment to growth is truly admirable. Keep pushing forward, and you'll continue to thrive both personally and professionally.