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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 11, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Hello mam. I am 31, and married for three years. My husband and I both work and split expenses. Last month, I found out that he had booked a house with his mother without informing me. He excluded me completely and told me after the registration and stamp duty was paid. When I confronted him, he said it was for his mother's security. But what about mine? I cook, clean, work full-time, and yet, I wasn't considered in a major life decision. What kind of partnership is this? I am upset and he knows it. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The point that you must focus on is not that you 'also' need the same 'security' BUT focus on why he chose to keep the fact that he was buying a house for his mother.
He can do that for his mother but why did he have to hide this fact from you? You say that he knows that you are upset; what does he have to say about it? What does he do to make this situation better? More than you doing something, I would be interested in seeing how he is going to explain as to why he hid the fact...that will give you a lot of answers and then you can think about what you must think and do.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I am married for 2 years. My husband and FIL runs a business. My MIL is a retird HM from govt school. I am married to a lovable family. I am for ever grateful to my inlaws. We stay together and i have one SIL. All of the expenses and invesments are made by my husband. We have a 1yr daughter. Till date me and my husband had no financial communication. He gets whatever i what but we dont discuss how much income he has got and what he does. Also i dont know what my inlaws income and what they do and i dont want to interfere in it. Its none of my business. Its me who asks my husband to let me know our financial status. Sometimes he say but its not a regular financial discussion. I came to know that he is investing in lic policies for all of them. 50% spending 50%investmnts. Ofcourse my inlaws share some amount but major expenses and all major investments are from my husbands income. I expect him to let me know the financial status so that i can also have a knowledge on it but he never opens up and but he always gets me want i want. I had never asked him like wht are you spending for your mom dad sis when they are still independant.I never questioned him and i will not. Its our duty to look after parents without any expectation. i promised him that i will not be a hurdle in this. But recently he gave huge amount to my inlaws and he dint even tell me. I felt upset when I got to know it later. It had happend many times.The thing that made me sad is that my husband dint even consider me in this. Like after giving also he dint utter a word to me. i I would have not said dont give. I would have felt happy only. Because he is giving to his parents only. But my concern is he is not sharing his financial commitments with me. Is it ok for me to expect that he should share his financial status with me so that we can plan our future or am i wrong? When my inlaws questions me about finance that something he did to them i am like when iam unware of it. Its embrassing. I feel that a couple should have a financial communication without discrepancy. But my husband does not do it intentionally. He always says he forgot. But i think that a couple should spend time having a healthy talk about their own commitments and investments. Marriage is not always about fantacy, shopping, romance, relaxing cooking playin work etc... there should be some serious talks discussions right which will pave way for a healthy relationship growth understanding and a better future and healthy finacially stablev family let me know whether i am wrong or right. And also is it ok to talk to my husband to let my inlaws share his burden financially as they are financially independent too ( atleast their lics they can invest) not sure to discuss this. But i feel my husband is over burdened. Btw iam a homemaker
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There's nothing wrong in you wanting transparency when it comes to the family's finances. But the way it has been right from the beginning of your marriage, is that you did not ask and you were not told.
So, suddenly when you have expressed an interest in knowing and participating, your husband has not understood this. Be clear when you discuss with him that you wish to talk about it not to deter him from anything but to actually support him in whatever he does. He also is perhaps used to taking financial decisions all by himself and continues to do so...So, if something has changed within you, express it and allow him the time to change as well...

In your words: But i think that a couple should spend time having a healthy talk about their own commitments and investments.

Yes, but if it was this way right from the time when you two married, it would not be an issue. Your want now is not wrong, but has changed from what it sued to be...so, express, let him reflect on it and then have a healthy debate/discussion on it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I recently got married. I find it hard to live with my mother in law as she wants to micromanage. My husband keeps telling me that things are gonn be alright once you both understand each other ( His mother and I) due in time. My husband hardly stays at home due to work. I find it unfair that I’m made to adjust to his difficult mother while he continues to go about his life. Although we agreed to stay together with his mother after we are married, now that I’m finding it hard and I have requested him multiple times to do something about it since it’s effecting my mental health. And my point is that since it’s hard for me and since he is my husband why can’t he make some arrangements for me to live separate, example by making excuse of my workplace being too far from his house etc. But what he only says is ‘ Everything will be fine with time’ and I find this statement itself dismissing my difficulties. While he hardly stays at home he leaves me behind to adjust to his difficult mother is also something I find unjust. What shall I do
Ans: You’re absolutely right to voice your concerns; it’s a major transition, and feeling micromanaged can take a toll on anyone. But it’s also clear that your husband feels a sense of duty towards his mother and believes that, over time, things may settle naturally as you get to know each other better. While his optimism might feel dismissive, it’s likely coming from his hope that time will help ease things for both of you.

Taking a step back, it might be helpful to consider his perspective. For him, there’s likely a deep-rooted loyalty and sense of care for his mother, perhaps much like what you might feel if it were your own mother. He might hope that the three of you can coexist peacefully and that, with patience, you and his mother will reach an understanding. It’s possible he’s trying to avoid confrontation, believing it will make things harder for everyone.

Perhaps, try to find a balance that respects both your needs and his family obligations. You could approach him with empathy by acknowledging, “I understand that you want us to grow closer and that it’s important for you to support your mother. I’d feel the same if it were my own mother.” But you can gently express that, despite your efforts, the situation is taking a toll on your mental health and that a temporary solution, like living separately, could actually help everyone in the long run. Let him know that you want to build a strong relationship with his mother, but to do so, a bit of breathing room may help you approach her with more patience and understanding.

Opening the door to his perspective in this way might soften his stance and encourage him to consider arrangements that balance everyone’s well-being. By approaching the situation together, as a team, you’re more likely to find a solution that honors both his responsibilities and your need for space, making room for a more peaceful family dynamic in the long term.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My husband and I are government employees and we live in different cities owing to work. He wants to build a house for his parents in his hometown and wants me to help him financially. I'm okay with it but he also has a younger brother who's in the 2nd year of college. But he's good for nothing. His parents and his younger brother are more or less dependent on him financially. I don't want to help him financially because we both won't be living in that house until retirement. And later that house will be occupied by his younger brother and his family. What should I do?
Ans: It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your husband about your feelings. Express your concerns not just about the financial contribution but also about the long-term implications of this decision. Let him know that while you are willing to support him in helping his family, you are also thinking about your future, especially the role that you and your husband will play in the household later in life. It’s crucial to discuss how this decision will affect both of you and your relationship in the long run.

It may also be helpful to have a clear understanding of the financial expectations and responsibilities involved. If your husband feels strongly about supporting his family, it’s essential that both of you are on the same page regarding the amount of support you are comfortable with and the timeline for contributions. You might want to consider alternatives, such as setting a specific budget or finding ways to help without overextending yourselves financially.

Another important aspect is acknowledging the role his younger brother plays in this equation. It sounds like he may not be as responsible as you would like him to be, which is an understandable source of frustration. You might want to express your concerns about his reliance on your husband for financial support, and consider whether there might be ways to encourage his brother to take more responsibility for his own future.

Ultimately, you and your husband need to come to an agreement that respects both your desires and concerns. It’s important that the decision feels like a shared one, and that both of you feel heard and respected in the process. If you continue to feel uneasy about contributing, it’s okay to set boundaries and negotiate a more balanced solution. This is about ensuring that you both maintain a healthy financial and emotional balance in your relationship. By being honest and compassionate with each other, you can find a way forward that works for both of you, without compromising your own well-being.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9709 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Money
In my earlier question reg taxability and tax treatment of SBI life Smart Wealth Builder Policy maturity gain income please read the annual premium as Rs 40,000/- in place of ' Rs.4000/-'. Please see the question and reply urgently as it will help me and many others.
Ans: Let’s now re-assess the taxability of the maturity amount from your SBI Life Smart Wealth Builder Policy, assuming the annual premium is Rs 40,000, not Rs 4,000.

? Taxability Depends on Section 10(10D) Conditions

– Life insurance policy maturity proceeds are exempt under Section 10(10D) if conditions are met.

– One main condition: Annual premium must be less than 10% of sum assured (if policy issued after 1-Apr-2012).

– You mentioned annual premium is Rs 40,000. Now check the sum assured in your policy.

– If the sum assured is at least Rs 4,00,000 or more, then 10(10D) exemption applies.

– In that case, entire maturity amount will be tax-free, no tax to be paid.

? When Tax Becomes Applicable

– If the premium exceeds 10% of the sum assured, then 10(10D) exemption is lost.

– The entire maturity amount becomes taxable under "Income from Other Sources".

– However, death benefit is always tax-free.

– Also note: From FY 2023-24, high premium policies (total annual premium above Rs 5 lakh) have additional tax rules.

– But your premium is only Rs 40,000, so these new rules will not apply.

? If 10(10D) Exemption Is Lost, Then

– You have to pay tax on maturity proceeds as per your income slab.

– Only the amount received above the total premiums paid will be treated as taxable.

– For example, if you receive Rs 3 lakh maturity and you paid total Rs 2.4 lakh premiums (over 6 years), then Rs 60,000 is taxable.

– Tax rate will be as per your applicable income tax slab.

? TDS Rules to Remember

– If the maturity amount is taxable, TDS at 5% will be deducted on income portion only.

– If you submit Form 15G/15H (and eligible), you may avoid TDS.

– But still, you will have to show the income in your ITR and pay tax as needed.

? What You Can Do Now

– Check your policy document or online account for exact sum assured.

– If sum assured is 10 times or more of annual premium (Rs 40,000), then you’re safe.

– The maturity amount will be tax-free under Section 10(10D).

– If not, calculate the taxable portion and plan to declare it in your ITR.

– Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner for accurate reporting and reinvestment advice.

? Final Insights

– With Rs 40,000 premium, you’re likely within the tax-free zone if sum assured is Rs 4 lakh or more.

– New taxation rules on insurance do not affect you unless total annual premiums exceed Rs 5 lakh, which they don’t.

– Always keep maturity documents, premium payment proofs and policy details handy at tax filing time.

– For better long-term growth and tax efficiency, consider future investments in mutual funds through MFDs with CFP credential instead of insurance-linked investments.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8642 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2025Hindi
Career
My son is getting IIIT Vadodara IT, RVCE - CSE (specialization w/AI ML) and BITS - HYD Electronics and Instrumentation or MSc Nanoscience and Semiconductors at BITS Pilani. Which option would be the best? Consdering placements, college life, future scope etc. He has somwhat interest in IT related branches, Will ENI @ BITS Hyd be good? Can he get into somewhat IT related stuff through that branch? Same for Msc Semiconductor and Nanoscience @ BITS Pilani, is MSc degeee worth it? Is Dual degree (after first year a good option @ BITS?)
Ans: IIIT Vadodara’s IT programme, NBA-accredited since 2013, reports a 2024 B.Tech placement rate of 61.4%, with an average package of ?11.34 LPA and median ?9 LPA across 53 recruiters, supported by project-based learning and industry tie-ups. RVCE’s CSE (AI & ML) specialization leverages its 100% CSE placement tradition, achieving a 75% placement rate in 2024 (93% in 2023) and an average CSE package of ?19 LPA through top firms like Microsoft and Cisco, within a vibrant campus culture and active student clubs. BITS Hyderabad’s Electronics & Instrumentation offers 60 seats, practice-school internships, and around 95% placement consistency with an average ?14–15 LPA, backed by NAAC A++ accreditation and cutting-edge digital-manufacturing labs. BITS Pilani’s newly introduced M.Sc. in Semiconductor and Nanoscience, aligned with the India Semiconductor Mission and National Quantum Mission, provides interdisciplinary training in nanofabrication and device physics, strong ISRO/DRDO collaborations, but lacks placement data due to its 2025 launch; prospective dual-degree switches to B.E. are limited to top performers after the first year and are highly competitive.

Recommendation: For immediate IT alignment and strong core outcomes, opt for RVCE CSE (AI & ML); choose IIIT Vadodara IT for balanced placement and academic rigor; pursue BITS Hyderabad E&I if instrumentation and IoT appeal; join BITS Pilani M.Sc. only if committed to research and willing to navigate the competitive dual-degree pathway. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8642 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Career
Sir, for my daughter, Which is better? IIITDM Kancheepuram Smart Manufacturing or VNIT Nagpur Meatallurgical and Materials Engineering or IIIT Trichy ECE or drop an year to target IITs next year? No inclination to any specific branch, but having interest to do Masters abroad after Engineering, thanks
Ans: Sadhana Madam, Among the four pathways, IIITDM Kancheepuram’s Smart Manufacturing programme stands out for its interdisciplinary curriculum that merges advanced manufacturing processes, Industry 4.0 technologies, IoT, big data analytics, and robotics within a government-funded Institute of National Importance framework, supported by five-month industry internships and modern digital-manufacturing and CPS labs. VNIT Nagpur’s Metallurgical & Materials Engineering, a four-decade-old NIT ranked 39th by NIRF, offers a rigorous core materials-science syllabus, well-equipped failure-analysis and pilot-plant facilities, strong research projects with R&D organisations, and extensive testing and consultancy collaborations. IIIT Trichy’s ECE, under the PPP model and NAAC A+ accreditation, delivers a focused VLSI, embedded-systems, and sensor-networks curriculum with small cohorts and dedicated laboratories, along with fellowship support for overseas research aspirations and integrated national scholarships. Opting to take a drop year to aim for IIT entrance may enhance access to premier institutions but carries considerable opportunity cost and uncertain success without exceptional discipline and coaching.

recommendation Prioritize IIITDM Kancheepuram Smart Manufacturing for its cutting-edge, interdisciplinary design-and-manufacturing focus and robust experiential learning that align with overseas master’s ambitions; consider IIIT Trichy ECE next for its specialized labs and fellowship pathways; choose VNIT Nagpur MME for its deep materials-research ecosystem; avoid dropping a year unless fully prepared for the competitive rigor required to secure an IIT seat. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8642 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2025Hindi
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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