Anu mam, I am in a bad dilemma. I am 36, married with a 8 year old son. I reluctantly stay with my in-laws who live in a property registered in my brother in law's name. We have been here for the past 10 years. Recently I discovered that my husband is not even a nominee in the property. He has been spending on house repairs, paying maintenance all these years and taking care of the parents as well. My brother-in-law enjoys his freedom and lives separately in his own luxury flat with his wife and kid. Last year, I invested all my savings and booked a flat in my name. My husband didn't support me financially. I don't expect my husband to stay with me because all these years, I have noticed that he doesn't want to listen to my side of the story. My in-laws have been controlling my husband finding ways to keep us emotionally tied to the house. I am surprised why my husband wants to live and spend his life maintaining his brother's property instead of supporting me?

Ans: Understand the Current Family and Financial Setup

You live in a house owned by your brother-in-law.

Your husband is not a nominee or owner of that house.

Your husband has been spending on repairs and maintenance there.

Your in-laws emotionally control him and influence his choices.

You are married with an 8-year-old son.

You bought a flat from your savings in your name.

Your husband didn’t support that financially.

You feel emotionally isolated and unsupported.

You Have Taken a Bold Financial Step

Buying a house with your own money is a powerful step.

You did this without expecting support from your husband.

This gives you future stability and freedom.

You should feel strong and proud about this decision.

Analyse the Risks of Staying in Someone Else’s Property

The house belongs to your brother-in-law.

Your husband has no ownership or legal right there.

Any money spent on that house gives no return to your family.

Your brother-in-law can legally ask you to vacate anytime.

It offers no protection to you or your son.

Emotional Attachment is Not a Financial Asset

Your husband is emotionally tied to his parents.

He may feel responsible to stay and take care of them.

That emotional decision is costing your family financially.

You and your son deserve security and future clarity.

You Need to Prioritise Financial Independence Over Family Pressure

Financial security should come before emotional pleasing.

You are already handling your finances more wisely.

Your flat will build equity over the years.

This ownership gives you power and voice in the long term.

Identify Why Your Husband Acts This Way

He may feel trapped by guilt, duty, or family manipulation.

He may not realise that he’s risking your family’s future.

In many Indian homes, emotional loyalty replaces logic.

He may avoid confrontation and live under family control.

Your Financial Role Deserves Recognition

You funded a home alone.

You manage finances without help.

You think long term and want stability.

This mindset will help you plan your son’s future.

Now Focus on the Next Steps Carefully

Step 1: Secure Your Property Legally

Make sure your flat is fully registered in your name.

Keep loan EMIs and receipts well documented.

Add nomination details in case of emergency.

You must have legal control over this asset.

Step 2: Start Building a Financial Portfolio

Now you must plan beyond the flat.

Create an emergency fund for 6 months of expenses.

Take term insurance for yourself and your son’s security.

Buy a family floater health policy if not already done.

Step 3: Start SIPs for Long-Term Wealth

Begin SIPs in actively managed mutual funds.

Don’t invest in direct plans.

Use a CFP and trusted MFD to guide.

Avoid index funds. They don’t protect in down markets.

You need professional-managed funds for peace of mind.

Avoid These Investment Mistakes

Don’t buy insurance policies that mix investment.

Don’t fall for traditional plans with low returns.

Don’t take real estate as your only investment.

Don’t keep too much idle cash in savings account.

Don’t follow online tips blindly without full planning.

Take Action Based on Your Role as a Mother

Your son must have a stable emotional and financial future.

For that, you need clarity and courage today.

Don’t let family manipulation ruin your planning.

Start a child education SIP right now.

Think about your own retirement plan also.

Create a Boundary with Your Husband’s Financial Choices

Don’t fund or support any expenses on your in-law’s house.

Don’t allow your savings to go for their property.

Keep your investments separate and in your control.

Discuss shared responsibilities only when mutual respect is there.

Family Counselling May Help if You Are Open

A trained counsellor can break old emotional patterns.

Your husband may realise the cost of his choices.

A third-party view often brings clarity in such issues.

Consider this if communication is currently blocked.

Make a Will for Your Property

Even if you’re young, make a simple will now.

Nominate your son as the legal heir.

This prevents any future dispute or interference.

Your savings and house should stay safe for your child.

You Are Already Ahead Financially

Most women delay property purchase or savings.

You acted independently and planned ahead.

Continue with SIPs, insurance, and low-risk debt options.

Don’t panic during market ups and downs.

Your Future is in Your Hands, Not Your Husband’s

You can’t change your husband’s past choices.

You can change how you move forward.

Emotional freedom comes from financial clarity.

Build your life around what you control.

Don’t wait for others to approve or support.

Finally

You are financially stronger than you think.

Avoid joint investments with your husband now.

Focus on protecting your house, savings, and child.

Cut emotional losses and strengthen legal rights.

Stay calm and focus on step-by-step action.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment