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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Ravishankar Question by Ravishankar on May 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi gurus I m 38 yrs old nd married for last 6 years. I have one kid. My wife is little poised to toxic and she has a fight with her mom for nearly before 6 months and have not spoken a word also. Her mother is more rigid than her as she never bothered to give a call though she came to know recently that my wife is pregnant. Now comes the main picture - as I m neutral in nature. I tried calling her twice and my wife herself said don't loose your esteem by calling her often as every one in her family knows that she is moore adamant. Now comes the twist now my wife is asking me after 2-3 months that i should stop speaking to my parents and asking me to don't pick the calls from my parents and I too should not talk to them as in some reasons we are also involved in their fight between her nd her mother which is actually not the cent percent reason . Now please tell me what should I do as she checks for the mobile whether i had spoken to my parents or not. Please advise .. i m loosing peace and not able to concentrate at work . Thanks Ravi

Ans: Dear Ravi,
I wonder what is the point of all this ego tussle? Surely your wife needs to grow up in terms of managing relationships.
Now, if she has decided not to talk to her mother, that is between them and hey, you tried to patch things up as well.
What and how you interact with your parents is solely your business; it would have been nice to have your wife's presence in the same BUT the day she puts aside her ego (this needs some checking as to the root cause of why the wall is up), that day things will change.
I assume that you want to continue interacting with your parents; in that case state that to your wife that that is exactly what you wish to do. Be prepared for a backlash from her; she may ignore you or be angry or tell you that you are causing her stress when she is pregnant. This is to let you go on a guilt trip all by yourself with no chance of getting off the rails. DO NOT be guilty for speaking with your parents and instead offer more love and support to your wife.
The focus has been on what not to do to break relationships rather than what must be done to improve relationships. This may also improve the bond between you and your wife which is so needed when she is going to be a mother.
Impress the fact that the unborn child also picks off emotions and that to have a better space of mind will aid the child's growth.

Being surrounded by people who love and care will also ensure a good pregnancy. This could also be a point to make your wife understand that all battles need not be fought and a few can just be at rest so that they can resolve itself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi Anu, this is Rajkiran here, I am 34 years old I have been married 4 years back to a girl through the relatives reference. My wife is govt worker and she only has one independent parent which is her mother. The marriage happened in a very short time during corona period and we had healthy few chats of how we expect our life's to be and we were both in common understanding and when I asked what is her expectations then she said she had no expectations at all and go by how life takes on. I was happy that I got right match and I am person not into any relationships and nothing and this marriage relationship was so new and started loving her more and she was also the same. She had also no relationships and not interested in marriage but due to her mother's pressure she got married to me. She also started liking the relationship and valuing it After 6 months she was pregnant and she went to her mom's house to stay as she was feeling comfortable there and I aslo let her stay as she wishes. Child was born in 2022 April and problem started here We had to name the child and it's usually dad who names the child because its family tree and decendent. But my wife got in middle and said she wants name as suggested by her mother, the first fight started and later i compromised for child sake and I agreed to her on the naming of child. After the naming ceremony done her mother acted differently to me and she was looking for fight, my wife was also on the same route they were allowing me see my child once in a month and she also did not bother to spend time and let child because with me. I love to be with child but unfortunately I am not able to spend time with him. This made me feel suffocating inside and was feeling bad, one day we planned to bring child to my home along with my wife and she also agreed to stay for 3days and for some reason child was crying as it was new to adapt and new people. My wife used the situation to pull a fight with me and she said I want to go home saying child is crying and he will fall sick. I requested to wait for another few hours if he calms down and we will see but she didn't listen and got very pissed off and had cold war with her for week. She stopped talking and she stopped everything. I had no idea what was so wrong that I did and it so bad. I tired always to talk to her and she didn't give space to me and my feelings. From September 2022 we were not together till now. I December 2022 I approached marriage counselling for her and me to unite with her, she also had come for counseling as it was religious institution and she had no option to opt out. Counselling was done and she told that she will be coming my house in a Weeks time. After a week again same story she didnt turn back and she didnt even want to put one step to solve issue, adament nature and influence of her mother. I waited for a year and approached legally by filing petition on restitution of conjugal rights. I went through 2 hearings she is not turning back. I am left no where and for this sake why I should have married. I don't want another marriage or any i have great love for my child and even my wife whatso ever she does i just love her.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There are a few individuals on Earth who sadly fail to see the larger picture; in your case your wife fails to see how marriage can bring stability to life and the child's growth.
Now why she wants to run back to her parents' place is something I don't understand BUT she surely has forgotten that making a marriage work means staying together and even if the two of you need to stay apart, it has to be due to work or other commitments that require that kind of an adjustment.
Do you know why she is so quick to run back to her family home? Even if she was pressured in marrying you, what's the point running away from what is obvious.
If you are sure about not wanting the marriage, kindly factor in that you have a child. Make an attempt to get back together, so that your child has a stable home. Request an elder member from your family to intervene and talk some sense into her mother who seems to be ignorant to the fact of ruining her daughter's life. Is her mother going to take on the responsibility of her daughter and her child? See where this line of action leads you to and then step in and appeal with your wife...This is all that you can do...Hope for the best thing to happen...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |474 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am going through some situations in relationship with wife and not able to distinguish as what step shall I take In short I may explain We have arranged marriage We married in 2019 We had a distance relationship as both are working Due to some misunderstanding we detached from each other since April 2021 till July 2024 with zero contact and conversation Now she again contact me in July 2024 And decided to again start a new venture She put some demand As I am here now and may be posted anywhere in India wherever my company may post me For this I contacted one of my friend who works in same institution and is my childhood friend He told me yes it is good to take promotion and if she will take promotion then forever she will keep roaming anywhere in India My friend told me ( actually he knew all our situation of relationship) that see looking at your situation you both are already not living like a couple so she should think for social life which she can while refraining promotion which is possible. My wife now asking me as she wants baby And told me as baby will remain with me and since my wife had no brother she also told me as she would keep her parents forever with her. I told her ok I just want a life where we all may enjoy together and if we may be blessed with any baby so he or she should get love of all ( you ,me and our parents). She denied and told me it isn't possible Now am suffering from lots of thoughts and stress with uneven mood swings as if I go for baby then how it will work She isn't underpaid or unemployed Earning almost more than lakh a month I told her am ok with ur promotion but I want all should get love and care of baby Now I am struck in between
Ans: First, it’s important to acknowledge how difficult this must be for both of you after such a long period of no contact. Rebuilding a relationship after being apart for over three years, especially with such different expectations, will take patience, understanding, and honest communication.

It sounds like both of you have valid concerns. She wants to balance her career and family, and you want a life where the child is surrounded by love and stability. However, her desire to have her parents with her permanently and your concerns about how the baby will be raised need to be discussed thoroughly before making any decisions.

Your friend’s advice about considering how to balance personal and professional life is worth thinking about, but ultimately, this is about what you and your wife want from your relationship. A good starting point would be to sit down with her and have an honest, open discussion about your expectations. It's important to figure out whether both of you can compromise on certain issues. For example, can you find a middle ground where you both feel supported in your careers while also prioritizing the family dynamic you both envision?

Consider couples counseling, as it might help both of you communicate better and understand each other's perspectives more deeply. The key is to align your goals and see if you're both willing to make adjustments for the future you're trying to build together.

Lastly, take care of your emotional health. If you're feeling overwhelmed, it might help to talk to someone neutral or even a counselor to help you process your thoughts and make decisions with more clarity.

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Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Why do hotels in India disallow unmarried couples? A few months ago, I was travelling with my girlfriend (who was my colleague then, we weren't dating then) on a work trip and suddenly, we received a knock on the door at night asking us to vacate the room in Delhi. It was 2 am and we were sleeping on different beds. There was a partition in the room, yet we were asked to pack and leave because some guest had complained. In the middle of the night no one was willing to offer us a room. It was an odd hour so at 4.30 am, I finally told the manager to let my GF hire a room as we had nowhere to go. I waited in the reception area. Isn't it unsafe to take the booking and then ask us to vacate later? Why is India so rude to unmarried couples? A boy and a girl could also be friends sharing a room to save money!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Each hotel use discretion to allow or disallow an unmarried couple from staying in their premises. There could be various reasons which may include activities which are outside of the law. Now, to what has happened to you is very inconsiderate. My question to you is: while booking, did you look at the hotel policies? If it says: unmarried couples allowed, then whatever has happened can be challenged and you can possibly demand a refund for unfair treatment. If it disallows unmarried couples and they have accommodated you, even then they are in the wrong for going against their own policies and then inconveniencing you.
So, clarity on this will give you an idea as to what exactly happened.
I don't know if India is being rude to unmarried couples as each person will view it through their lens and come to a conclusion as to whether it's right or wrong. Always check the hotel policies before booking.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1133 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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Career
This is my first time appearing for GATE, and I’m already feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the preparation. Now that the admit card release is approaching, I’m worried about missing any important details. Could you please explain the step-by-step process to download the admit card and what documents I should carry on the exam day?
Ans: Hello dear.
What is a surprise that you are appearing in the GATE examination 1st time? Everybody goes through this situation. You are on the turn of completing your B.E./B.Tech. and at this point, the anxiety developed not showing good symptoms. Be cool and relax. Since 3-4 years you are well acquainted with the engineering examination pattern. The difference between regular and GATE is that, for GATE, you have to prepare F.E. to B.E. syllabus and that is the only issue. A candidate who remained sincere from 1st year will not have any type of anxiety with GATE. Try to cover the syllabus in depth as early as possible. Now, related to your admit card, visit the GATE website where you will receive an announcement via SMS/email to download the admit card. Follow the steps mentioned in the email and download it. On the respective website, everything is mentioned clearly about the documents to be carried on the examination day. Keep a close eye on the GATE examination. Best of luck for your upcoming examinations in the future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Mr Ramalingam, Good Afternoon. I am 55years old. I had purchased two SBI life policies(Plan Name: SBIL- Smart Privilege Series III- RP and LP) one for self and one for my wife with annually paid premiums of ?1200000/- and ?600000/- respectively in Feb 2023 for Policy Term of 10 years. I have two questions: 1. Is paying annual premium financially beneficial as compared to paying half yearly or quarterly? 2. Should I continue paying the premium after the first compulsory premiums of 5 years or invest the amount in Equity Mutual funds for better appreciation of money? Thank you, Warm Regards.
Ans: Investing Rs. 12,00,000 annually for yourself and Rs. 6,00,000 for your wife in SBI Life Smart Privilege plans requires a thorough evaluation. Your queries about premium payment frequency and policy continuation beyond five years are critical for maximising returns and aligning with your financial goals.

Let’s analyse these aspects comprehensively.

1. Premium Payment Frequency: Annual vs Half-Yearly or Quarterly
Cost Efficiency of Annual Premiums

Annual premiums often cost less than half-yearly or quarterly options. Insurers offer discounts for lump-sum annual payments.

Paying in smaller instalments results in additional administrative charges. This increases the total cost of the policy.

Annual payments ensure immediate allocation of your funds. Half-yearly or quarterly payments delay this allocation, reducing the compounding benefit.

Opting for annual payments is financially efficient, provided cash flow permits it.

Impact on Cash Flow

Annual payments require larger cash reserves. Evaluate whether this impacts your liquidity needs.

If cash flow is constrained, half-yearly or quarterly options provide flexibility. However, they incur higher costs.

2. Continuation After 5 Years vs Investing in Equity Mutual Funds
Performance of ULIPs vs Equity Mutual Funds

SBI Life Smart Privilege is a ULIP (Unit-Linked Insurance Plan). ULIPs combine insurance with investments.

ULIPs have higher charges such as policy administration, premium allocation, and fund management fees. These charges reduce net returns.

Equity Mutual Funds often outperform ULIPs due to lower expense ratios. They focus solely on wealth creation, unlike ULIPs.

Lock-In Period Considerations

ULIPs have a mandatory 5-year lock-in. Beyond this period, the decision to continue depends on fund performance and your financial goals.

Evaluate your ULIP’s fund performance against comparable equity mutual funds. If it underperforms, consider discontinuing premium payments.

Flexibility and Liquidity

Mutual funds offer better liquidity and flexibility. You can withdraw or switch funds based on market conditions.

ULIPs restrict fund switches to options within the policy. Mutual funds provide a wider range of choices.

Advantages of Shifting to Equity Mutual Funds
Higher Returns: Actively managed equity funds generally deliver higher long-term returns than ULIPs.

Lower Charges: Mutual funds have lower expense ratios, maximising your investment growth.

Tax Efficiency: Equity mutual funds have tax benefits, but gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. ULIPs have tax-free withdrawals under certain conditions, but the overall returns may still lag.

Goal Alignment: Mutual funds are better suited for long-term wealth creation and goal-specific planning.

Why Not Index Funds?

Index funds lack active management. They simply replicate market indices without adapting to market conditions.

Actively managed funds, on the other hand, strive to outperform the market. They offer better returns when managed by experienced professionals.

Index funds cannot shield against downside risks during market corrections. Actively managed funds provide better resilience in volatile markets.

Evaluating Policy Continuation After 5 Years
Key Questions to Assess

Is the ULIP’s fund performance aligned with your expectations?

Are the charges within the ULIP justified by the returns it offers?

Would reallocating the premium to mutual funds provide better results for your goals?

Strategic Approach

If ULIP performance is consistently below par, you can stop further premiums after five years.

Shift future premiums to mutual funds. Choose funds based on your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Retain the accumulated corpus in the ULIP until maturity to avoid surrender penalties.

Steps to Optimise Your Investments
Review Fund Performance: Regularly assess the returns generated by your ULIP. Compare them with benchmark indices and mutual funds.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: A CFP can guide you in selecting suitable mutual funds for reallocation.

Diversify Investments: Spread your investments across equity, balanced, and debt funds for optimal risk management.

Leverage Tax Benefits: Plan withdrawals strategically to minimise tax liabilities under the new mutual fund taxation rules.

Taxation Insights
ULIPs offer tax-free maturity proceeds under Section 10(10D) if annual premiums do not exceed Rs. 2,50,000.

Mutual funds are subject to the following tax rules:

Equity mutual funds: Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term gains on equity funds are taxed at 20%.
Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab.
Consider these rules when deciding between ULIPs and mutual funds.

Key Takeaways
Annual premium payments are cost-effective if cash flow permits.

Continuing ULIPs beyond five years depends on their performance and alignment with your goals.

Equity mutual funds are a better option for wealth creation due to higher returns and lower charges.

Diversify investments and consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalised advice.

Final Insights
Your decision to invest in ULIPs was a thoughtful one, considering their insurance benefits. However, for long-term wealth creation, mutual funds could offer better appreciation. Evaluating the performance of your ULIPs after five years is crucial. If they underperform, consider reallocating your premiums to equity mutual funds for enhanced returns.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
Money
Sir I am planning to invest Rs.2000/= per month in SIP and the duration will be 10 years. What will be the return on the due date
Ans: Investing Rs. 2000 per month in a SIP for 10 years is a wise decision. Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) provide disciplined and goal-oriented investing. Let’s assess your plan, its potential returns, and the key aspects of such investments.

Benefits of a 10-Year SIP
Power of Compounding
SIPs leverage compounding, helping your money grow faster over time. Starting early allows compounding to work better for you.

Market Volatility Management
SIPs mitigate risks of market volatility. They encourage purchasing more units when prices are low.

Affordable and Flexible
Starting with Rs. 2000 ensures affordability and consistency. Flexibility to increase contributions is an added benefit.

Wealth Accumulation Potential
A 10-year SIP can generate substantial wealth. Equity-based funds generally outperform other investments over the long term.

Expected Returns from Your SIP
Equity mutual funds typically yield 10-12% annual returns over the long term. With Rs. 2000 monthly, you could accumulate Rs. 4-5 lakh in 10 years.

Debt funds yield lower returns, around 6-8%. These funds are safer but less suitable for long-term goals.

Balanced funds blend equity and debt. They balance risk and return, yielding 8-10% annually.

Your choice of fund type affects your returns. Selecting the right fund category is crucial.

Factors Influencing Returns
Fund Selection
Actively managed funds often outperform index funds. Professional fund managers optimise portfolios for better performance.

Market Conditions
Equity market performance directly impacts returns. Long-term investments reduce the risk of short-term volatility.

Tax Implications
Equity fund gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh attract 12.5% tax. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. Understanding taxation helps in planning redemptions.

Expense Ratios
Funds charge fees for managing investments. Actively managed funds have slightly higher costs than index funds. Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensure professional advice for these costs.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds lack flexibility. They mimic indices and cannot capitalise on market opportunities.

They do not protect against downside risk during market crashes. Actively managed funds can adjust to such scenarios.

Active funds offer higher returns when managed well. Professional management adds value to your investment.

Why Regular Funds with CFP Guidance?
Direct funds save costs but lack personalised advice. A Certified Financial Planner offers tailored strategies for your goals.

Regular funds through an MFD with CFP credentials ensure professional monitoring. They also simplify documentation and compliance.

How to Proceed
Set Clear Goals
Define your financial goal for this SIP. Is it for wealth creation, education, or retirement?

Assess Risk Appetite
Choose funds aligning with your comfort level. Equity funds are ideal for higher returns but come with risks.

Review Performance
Select funds with consistent track records over five to ten years.

Diversify Investments
Consider investing in different categories for balanced risk and returns.

Review Periodically
Assess performance annually. Switch funds if they consistently underperform.

Insights on SIP Taxation
Gains on equity mutual funds held for over a year qualify as LTCG. Only gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per your slab rate.

Consider these rules while planning withdrawals. Tax-efficient withdrawals maximise returns.

SIP Advantages Over Other Investments
SIPs outperform fixed deposits and traditional insurance plans. They offer better liquidity and inflation-beating returns.

Real estate requires significant upfront capital and involves illiquidity. SIPs are more flexible and accessible.

Gold investments lack the potential for high returns compared to equity funds.

Common Mistakes to Avoid
Delaying Investments
Starting early maximises compounding benefits.

Stopping SIPs During Market Lows
Continue investments even during market downturns. They offer opportunities to buy units at lower prices.

Ignoring Goal Alignment
Match your SIPs with specific financial goals.

Final Insights
Investing Rs. 2000 per month for 10 years through SIPs is a smart choice. It can help you achieve long-term goals and build wealth steadily.

Focus on selecting funds aligned with your objectives. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio for optimal performance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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