Hi gurus
I m 38 yrs old nd married for last 6 years. I have one kid. My wife is little poised to toxic and she has a fight with her mom for nearly before 6 months and have not spoken a word also. Her mother is more rigid than her as she never bothered to give a call though she came to know recently that my wife is pregnant. Now comes the main picture - as I m neutral in nature. I tried calling her twice and my wife herself said don't loose your esteem by calling her often as every one in her family knows that she is moore adamant. Now comes the twist now my wife is asking me after 2-3 months that i should stop speaking to my parents and asking me to don't pick the calls from my parents and I too should not talk to them as in some reasons we are also involved in their fight between her nd her mother which is actually not the cent percent reason . Now please tell me what should I do as she checks for the mobile whether i had spoken to my parents or not.
Please advise .. i m loosing peace and not able to concentrate at work .
Thanks
Ravi
Ans: Dear Ravi,
I wonder what is the point of all this ego tussle? Surely your wife needs to grow up in terms of managing relationships.
Now, if she has decided not to talk to her mother, that is between them and hey, you tried to patch things up as well.
What and how you interact with your parents is solely your business; it would have been nice to have your wife's presence in the same BUT the day she puts aside her ego (this needs some checking as to the root cause of why the wall is up), that day things will change.
I assume that you want to continue interacting with your parents; in that case state that to your wife that that is exactly what you wish to do. Be prepared for a backlash from her; she may ignore you or be angry or tell you that you are causing her stress when she is pregnant. This is to let you go on a guilt trip all by yourself with no chance of getting off the rails. DO NOT be guilty for speaking with your parents and instead offer more love and support to your wife.
The focus has been on what not to do to break relationships rather than what must be done to improve relationships. This may also improve the bond between you and your wife which is so needed when she is going to be a mother.
Impress the fact that the unborn child also picks off emotions and that to have a better space of mind will aid the child's growth.
Being surrounded by people who love and care will also ensure a good pregnancy. This could also be a point to make your wife understand that all battles need not be fought and a few can just be at rest so that they can resolve itself.
All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
