Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 21, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I got married in 2008. Our son was born in 2013. My wife was doing PhD at that time and we both took good care of him as we were staying in an academic campus. Upon completion, my wife moved away from our place with her job in 2018. Initial one year, everything was fine. I used to visit them once in a month as the place was far away. Later in 2019, she moved to a better job location with our son. This place was also far from my workplace. Due to some reasons, she started avoiding me and I could hardly meet them especially my son. I could talk to my son only once/twice every month and see him on average of every 4 months. She does not allow me talk to him over video call as well. My parents who had a great memory with their grandson also cannot talk to him, except after several persuasions by me, she visits my paternal home once or twice in a year. She takes our son to my parents house for an hour and never allows to stay with them. This is happening for the last 5 years. I am clueless as any movement to court might lead us filing a divorce, which will grossly hurt my parents. Sometimes I feel that I should wait for my son until he becomes 18 (he is 11 now) and see him once he goes out of his mom's house. Requesting for your suggestion.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I truly believe that distance can drive a huge gap between two people in a relationship. Long distance relationships (LDRs) are not for everyone and if someone is into something like this, they would have or must have an honest chat about it.
Not being able to be in the company of one another, not being able to share their day with the other, not being able to communicate as often as they want can lead them to become their own person and highly independent not really missing their partner. It can also lead them to find other pair/pairs of ears almost replacing their partner at that moment. Repeating this over time can lead to romantic associations outside of the relationship as well.

Now, what could have caused your wife to take a step to be isolated from you, only you will know...and what has made you wait for 5 years to actually realize that something must be done about this?

Anyway, talk to your wife...I mean, how long can she avoid you? Meet her at a common place, like at your parents' place so that it does not flare up into a big thing. Take the opportunity to try and win your family back. Maybe it was a simple misunderstanding that caused all of this. Only when you try to find out, will you know, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Jun 26, 2024 | Answered on Jun 28, 2024
Listen
Thanks Anu!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are totally welcome!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 27, 2022

Relationship
Hi Anu,Hope you are in fine health!This will take 4 minutes to read but I plead to you for help.I am a man of 40 years, an engineer working with a reputed MNC as a manager. My wife, 37 is also an engineer working with a global service firm as process lead.We have a son nearing 8 years. We got married in 2012 - an arranged marriage and welcomed our son in early 2014. Things were fine largely in the initial phase. She quit her job in 2013 (a collective decision) to be in London with me for 2 years till 2015. My mother passed away in 2014 so I suggested that we return to Mumbai for good as my dad was alone. She agreed (at least I think so). Upon return I feel her father intervened too much in our family life (coming to our house unwarranted to help my wife, when my father was at my sister's place after bypass surgery). For little things, my wife depended on them although I was always around. In some ways I always thought she wanted me to be like her father. A couple of showdowns and family discussions later, she walked out in 2016 with our 2 year-old son. It was a well orchestrated event with her father, sister, far-flung cousin picking her up with 8-9 bundles of belongings, including our marriage certificate and son's birth certificates (Indian and London). I viewed it as a betrayal but kept mum. I went to her place 4 times in the following month to meet my son but her mother threatened me with 498A in the last meeting. I feel they had ulterior motives to this entire episode -- I am an IT engineer so they knew I had money. My wife was unhappy that my dad's flat in a posh locality in Mumbai where we stayed would be split between me and my sister. She had said I and only I should be the inheritor.She put a condition that I can meet my son only at her father's residence, so I was denied access to my son. After a depressing wait of 2 years, I filed custody petition. I secured regular visitation rights to my son. He warmed up to me and I took him to Goa, Kerala, Mysore on separate visits. My belief was 'whatever happens to our relationship, my son should not feel the absence of his father ever' Thinking my wife would have warmed up, I filed restitution 1.5 years later. She fought both petitions tooth and nail, denying me even 30 mins extra visitation. I was supposed to pick my son and drop him from underneath her flat. Humiliation ensued but I stuck to being a good dutiful father which was appreciated and rewarded by the family court counsellor. I was paying his school fees and also nurtured him for 5 months in 2020 at my place when my wife and her family contracted COVID (which she claimed in court as unlawful detention of 'my' son). May be, sensing she is losing ground, all of a sudden she agreed to a mutual divorce in April 2021 with custody shared for 15-15 days every month. A day before the final signing of papers, she asked to meet and said, 'Can't we make this work for our son ? I am ready to come back' I was getting what I always wanted so I relented. Court gave us a trial period of 3 months which went fine. We were physical 5-6 days a week. I suggested a second kid but she used to evade the question by saying 1 kid is enough. She was gelling well with my family but I maintained a distance from her parents as I did not want a repeat. I did not step into her house which she resented. After 3 months, I told her I need 3 more months and she was shocked but went with it. The best thing that was happening was that our son was opening up and was much less anxious. After another 3 months, we were ready to continue as husband and wife and were ready to sign in court in Dec 2021 but got a date in Jan 2022 as judge was absent.NOW, on 29th Dec we got to know that we are expecting. She cried saying she does not want the baby while I feel we should go ahead. The gynaec said at 37 years, it was not too late given that we conceived naturally and she does not have any chronic issues (her reports showed possible onset of diabetes, low haemoglobin levels which doctor said can be treated). We fought again as she said she still wants to tour the world, has her hands full with the first kid and is not mentally and emotionally prepared. My father and I spoke to her. I called upon her father who sided with her. Finally on 5th Jan she conveyed that she was firm on abortion. I said I am not part of this decision as I still feel we can afford the baby and it will strengthen our bond. We have access to the best of doctors who can ensure a good pregnancy. But she was firm so I asked her to 'Do whatever you want. I will not participate'. I asked her to go and stay with her parents until her bleeding stops and come back to my son and me. But I warned her that this act could have consequences, however much we try not to.WHY? Because I feel cheated. Voiceless. Helpless. Powerless. Hurt. Aggrieved. Sad. Guilty. She took the decision independently and was completely detached emotionally from the 6-week baby so as to abort.I am scared to say 'We will continue as husband and wife' in our end-of-trial-period hearing next week. What if she continues to be as stubborn and backstab me each time. I could go into depression. I am seeing a pattern in her behaviour.She hasn't changed -- may be the first 6 months were a farce. She is cold-hearted, manipulative and stubborn. She leaves me when she wants, denies me access to my son in an arm-twisting tactic, makes amends when it suits her and aborts at will. I fear I am setting myself up for bigger betrayals ( last month, she and her parents showed me flats costing ~4 crores because she wants to own one.I bought one for 1.5 crore in 2019 where we are residing right now, in my and my father's name. I have begged that I won't be able to help her financially as I already have a loan; I have two housemaids in the house for food-utensils-mopping and they too complain that she does not get involved in any housework --- like even instructing them what to do. I have brought up sharing-of-expenses 2-3 times but stopped asking after seeing it was not heart-felt from her side) I am feeling like a doormat who is clinging to this relationship too tightly, at my own peril.Can you assist me with questions whose answers will guide me in taking a decision on marriage v/s divorce ? RegardsUnknown
Ans:

Dear Unknown,

<>I do empathise with whatever you have shared with me. As long as you are willing to offer your emotions to be played with, you will be ping-ponging from one end to the other.

I understand that you wanted to give your marriage a fair chance; and things started to get better in the three months.

But I do fail to understand why you wanted her to go through the pregnancy especially after health challenges that she might have faced. And to keep her away especially when she needs to be with you and the child, is not something that is going to work in anyone’s favour.

Firstly, figure out this: What are you punishing her for? Are you angry with her for walking out on you in 2016 and the treatment meted out to you then and is this anger now mounting on her not wanting the pregnancy?

They are two separate events and need to be looked at separately. To displace anger from one event and map it onto the other, doesn’t show emotional maturity; it will only make matters worse for you.

Things were getting back to normal; and do respect a woman’s choice of having the baby or not…after all, she has to carry the baby within her for 9 months and when it is telling on her health, why shouldn’t you support her as her husband?

You felt cheated the first time; this time it was a decision that needed none of the past feelings coming into it.

If you do want to continue the marriage, it will be a wise decision to live under the same roof, clear all the past unresolved issues and find a way to move ahead. And also, think of the implications this is having on your son who has already experienced so much.

Do the right thing; for you, for her and for the child.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 31, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 29, 2023Hindi
Relationship
Hi Ma'am, I am 36 years old and got married in the year 2014. I wanted to be in a joint family but my wife does not like it from the starting days itself. My parents used to stay with me periodically but not continuously. We have 2 boy children now. During my 1st boy child naming ceremony, my wife's family created issues and threatened me and my mother with bad words and forced for a separate family which i never agreed. After that issue, my wife never returned to my matrimonial home. After lot of efforts from my relatives, we joined back again. But the personal vengeance of my wife on my parents still continued. She used to misbehave with them some times like not listening to my mother's words and she never used to help my mother on all the house hold activities. My mother used to take care of all the household works. In the mean time we are blessed with 2nd boy. She stayed in my house during her second pregnancy, her preganancy well assisted by my mother and me both financially and emotionally. But i used to tell my wife to do very small houshold activities to make her physically well fit for her normal delivery but she took that suggession in a wring way and considered it as a torcher. During her ninth month of her pregnancy she went to her parents house to write a competitive exam but never returned back instead she continued to stay there and returning back to my home. So it has been more than two years now that she left me. During this time, i visited for her birthday, her father died, me and my parents visited his funeral, i visited my sons birthday. So i almost did all my efforts to bring back her to my home but she refused all my chances. So I filed a divorce case since i dont have any hope in my marriage life anymore. But i wanted to live with her since we have two children. Any suggestions/advices please.
Ans: I understand the complex and challenging situation you're facing in your marriage. It's clear that there have been significant conflicts and misunderstandings between you and your wife, and you've made attempts to resolve them. Here are some thoughts and advice from a counseling perspective:

Open Communication: Effective and empathetic communication is crucial. Encourage both you and your wife to express your feelings and concerns in a safe and non-confrontational manner. A counselor can help facilitate these discussions and ensure that both parties have a chance to be heard.
Professional Counseling: Seeking the help of a qualified marriage counselor or therapist is highly recommended. A counselor can provide a neutral perspective, offer strategies for conflict resolution, and help you both explore the underlying issues in your relationship.
Child-Centered Approach: As you have children, it's vital to prioritize their well-being. Regardless of the outcome, work together on a co-parenting plan that focuses on their emotional and psychological needs. A counselor can assist in creating a plan that ensures your children's stability and happiness.
Understanding and Empathy: Try to understand each other's perspectives, feelings, and needs. There seems to be a lack of understanding between you and your wife, and it's important to build empathy and find common ground.
Legal Matters: Consult with a family lawyer to fully understand your rights, responsibilities, and potential outcomes regarding divorce, child custody, and financial matters. It's crucial to be well-informed about the legal implications of your decisions.
Reconciliation Efforts: If both you and your wife are open to the possibility of reconciliation, be prepared for a long and challenging process. It will require time, patience, and a willingness to address the root causes of your issues.
Understanding: Try to understand your wife's perspective and feelings, and encourage her to understand yours. Misunderstandings can often lead to conflicts, and gaining insight into each other's point of view can be a first step toward resolution.
Co-parenting: Regardless of the outcome of your marriage, your focus should be on the well-being of your children. It's essential to develop a co-parenting plan that prioritizes their needs and stability. Self-Care: Take care of your own well-being. Navigating these difficult circumstances can be emotionally and mentally taxing, so ensure you maintain your own emotional and mental health.
Reflect on Your Expectations: Take time to reflect on your expectations regarding family arrangements and what you're willing to compromise on. It may be necessary to find a middle ground between your desire for a joint family and your wife's preference for a separate one.

Remember that the decision to reconcile or proceed with the divorce should be made with the well-being of both you and your wife, as well as your children, in mind. Professional counseling and mediation can provide the support and tools you need to navigate this challenging situation. Whether the ultimate goal is reconciliation or an amicable separation, the involvement of a qualified therapist can be instrumental in moving forward in a healthy and constructive way.

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 21, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi there, I have been married for 15 years now and have a child who has Autism. Me and my wife live in USA and my mother had been living with us for an extended stay since 2020 until 2022 due to COVID 19 travel restrictions. Although my mother and my wife would get along ok, there would be a period in between when she would suddenly be angry at her and me for any random reason. Like we did not name our son in the way her friend did. This used to happen every few weeks and then become ok. In the meanwhile we were busy with therapies and treatments for my son. However, two years back she asked that my Mum (Over 75) leave immediately as she does not want her anymore. She took it to extreme by manipulating me to go against my mother, verbally abusing and shouting at her, accusing her of voo doo and saying that she wants her (my wife dead) and also not sparing my brother who lives in a different country. She refused counselling and asked for a divorce. There would be days when I would lock the door and sleep in a separate room. Eventually during a medical checkup she got diagnosed for cancer just after my mother went back to India. After a harrowing year and a half she is now cancer free but still her some side effects. I was thinking that this change of beaviour may have been due to the cancer but now that she is cured there is not much change except that the outbursts seem to have reduced. We are now back in India for a holiday since the past 2 months but live separately. She initially did not want to return to USA but now wants to go back. I am afraid the same issues as earlier would again start. She has clearly stated that she has no love or respect for me. I have been caring for my son and he is living with me while in India. I wonder what is the path forward
Ans: I understand that you're in a very difficult and confusing situation. Your wife's behavior, the separation, and the recent developments have undoubtedly created emotional strain and uncertainty. While I cannot offer personal advice or diagnose psychological issues, I can provide some insights and suggestions to help you navigate your path forward:

Understanding the Situation:

Your wife's behavior: It's impossible to definitively say what caused your wife's behavior without detailed information and professional expertise. However, her outbursts, accusations, and lack of love/respect could indicate various factors like stress, mental health issues, or unresolved personal conflicts.
Impact of cancer: While cancer and its treatment can affect mood and behavior, it's crucial to consider additional factors beyond the diagnosis.
Communication Breakdown: The lack of communication and refusal of counseling suggest deeper issues that need open and honest dialogue.
Moving Forward:

Prioritize your son's well-being: Ensure his needs are met in a stable and healthy environment. Seek professional guidance if needed.
Focus on your own well-being: Seek individual counseling or therapy to process your emotions, understand your options, and build resilience.
Open communication: If both of you are willing, consider couples therapy with a qualified professional to address communication issues, understand root causes of conflict, and work towards a future, whether together or separate.
Clear boundaries: If you choose to continue the relationship, set clear boundaries regarding acceptable behavior and communication.
Legal advice: Consult a lawyer to understand your legal rights and options regarding child custody, property division, and other legal matters.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu ji, I am 42 yr old single parent. I have a 10 yr old son living with me. My wife and I were separated when our son was 3 yr old and we recently settled our divorce. Immediately after our divorce, my ex-wife got re-married. Her husband isn’t willing to take my son in and hence she handed over his legal custody to me. She has moved on with her life and my son doesn’t feature in her list of priorities. I am more than happy to have him. During the last 7 years of separation, she did not allow me or my parents to meet my son, so we could not build a strong bond together. Now, it has been 6 months since my son has moved in with me. Its only me and him living together ATM. My parents stay in our ancestral village and are unable to stay with me. Though its challenging for both of us to discover and understand each other, it must be tougher for my son. He understands the fact that his parents aren’t together and hence he has to stay with either of us at a time. Sometimes, he does get emotional about this situation not being normal compared to his friends / cartoons / movies etc. He also misses his mother and often keeps quoting that “My mother does it this way...”, “Me and my mum used to do this / that” etc etc and I appreciate that. I am fine with him talking to his mother through WhatsApp and meeting her whenever they wish to. He is also close to his other maternal family members, and I do not have any issues with him maintaining that bond. Now the challenge is, my ex-wife and her family abuses and shoos me away every time I try to ask them about my son such as his eating habits, likes, dislikes, vacation plans etc etc. They also bad mouth me whenever they speak to my son. That poor little soul gets influenced and feels that its punishment for him to live with me. And I feel betrayed as I too have made sacrifices / adjustments in my career, relationships etc to be able to take care of my son. I feel like stopping his communication with his mum and maternal family, but worried if that would adversely affect him. Now I have also started to get angry whenever he speaks to his mum or maternal family and try not to vent out at him, but I sometimes I do. Please guide me to navigate this delicate situation and what should I look forward to in my life.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Firstly, stop going back to your ex-wife for things that concern your son.
You have taken the responsibility of raising him, then you can surely figure out his likes and dislikes over time. Spend time bonding with him and be very patient with the outcome. Overnight, you son isn't going to love and fuss over you. So, keep raising him with a lot of love and a very supportive environment. At times, you will see him angry or stubborn bringing reference to the way his mother raised him; that is not the time to be angry but to hear him out and actually agree with him. He is a child, why are you being one? Surely, you understand that this is a very confusing and challenging time for him...why not spend time finding ways to bond rather than get angry when he speaks to his mother? That is their unique relationship; don't stand in the way as your son as he grows older will hold you responsible for keeping him away from her.
Focus on building a connection with him...and if for some reason things get distressing and even more challenging, please take the help of a professional to help the family tide over this phase...
In the meantime, let your focus be on your son, his needs, his joys and sorrows and more...let his know and feel that you as a father will protect him and be there for him at all times...that will change a lot of things for him...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
Good Morning Sir, I am having a Mutual Fund portfolio of 3.7 Crores, Savings account balance in India of 10 lacs, and PPF/Sukanya Samriddhi/NPS of around 30 lacs. My savings account in UAE has about 30 lacs. I have lost my job and am currently trying to get one. We will be in the UAE till July so that my daughter can complete her school year. If I get a job by then, it will be great; but if not, will I be able to retire with these funds? Please assume that the UAE savings account will be depleted by July during relocation. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Your financial discipline over many years deserves appreciation.
You stayed invested with patience.
You built wealth across countries.
This foundation gives you real confidence now.

» Current Life Stage and Context
– You are facing temporary job loss.
– You are still financially independent.
– UAE stay continues till July.
– Relocation costs are already planned.
– This phase needs calm decisions.
– Fear is natural, but clarity matters.

» Family Responsibilities Snapshot
– You have a school-going daughter.
– Education continuity is a priority.
– Stability for the child matters emotionally.
– Your planning already reflects responsibility.
– This strengthens your overall position.

» Asset Position Review
– Mutual fund portfolio is Rs.3.7 Crores.
– Indian savings account holds Rs.10 lacs.
– Long-term savings total about Rs.30 lacs.
– UAE savings will reduce to zero.
– Home ownership lowers future expenses.
– Net worth remains strong even after relocation.

» Liquidity and Cash Comfort
– Indian savings give immediate support.
– Mutual funds provide large liquidity.
– Withdrawals can be staggered wisely.
– Forced selling is avoidable.
– This protects capital during volatility.

» Job Loss Impact Assessment
– Income disruption affects confidence.
– It does not erase financial strength.
– You have time to decide.
– Rushed retirement decisions harm outcomes.
– Temporary gaps need flexible planning.

» Can You Retire If Job Does Not Come
– Retirement is possible with discipline.
– It requires expense control.
– It needs structured withdrawals.
– Lifestyle choices become important.
– Emotional readiness is equally critical.

» Early Retirement Reality Check
– Retirement at mid-forties is early.
– Corpus must last many decades.
– Inflation will work continuously.
– Growth assets cannot be abandoned.
– Balance is more important than returns.

» Role of Mutual Funds Going Forward
– Mutual funds remain core growth assets.
– Equity exposure should stay meaningful.
– Allocation should become more balanced.
– Risk control becomes more important now.
– Portfolio reviews must be regular.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Suit You
– Active funds respond to market stress.
– Fund managers adjust sector exposure.
– Valuation discipline is applied.
– Index funds fall fully with markets.
– Passive exposure increases drawdown risk.
– Active management supports smoother retirement.

» Managing Equity Volatility During Retirement
– Sudden market falls can hurt withdrawals.
– Selling equity during crashes damages corpus.
– Withdrawal planning must protect equity.
– Buffer assets reduce stress.
– This approach improves sustainability.

» Importance of Stable Assets
– Stable assets support monthly expenses.
– They reduce emotional reactions.
– They protect during market corrections.
– They fund short-term needs.
– This gives peace of mind.

» Role of Government-Backed Savings
– PPF and similar provide safety.
– Returns are predictable.
– Liquidity rules must be respected.
– These should not fund early expenses.
– They act as long-term protection.

» Expense Planning After Returning to India
– Living in owned home lowers costs.
– India expenses are lower than UAE.
– Lifestyle inflation must be avoided.
– Spending discipline extends corpus life.
– Regular tracking becomes essential.

» Education Planning for Your Daughter
– Education costs will rise steadily.
– This goal cannot face market risk alone.
– Dedicated allocation is required.
– Avoid mixing education money with retirement.
– Separate mental buckets improve clarity.

» Tax Considerations During Withdrawals
– Equity mutual fund withdrawals attract capital gains tax.
– Long-term gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed.
– Short-term gains attract higher tax.
– Withdrawal sequencing reduces tax burden.
– Proper planning avoids unnecessary taxes.

» Health and Protection Planning
– Health insurance must be adequate.
– Employer cover may stop.
– Medical inflation is severe.
– Health costs can derail plans.
– Protection safeguards your corpus.

» Psychological Readiness for Retirement
– Retirement is not only financial.
– Loss of routine can disturb balance.
– Purpose keeps mind active.
– Part-time work can help.
– Engagement supports mental health.

» Semi-Retirement as a Practical Option
– Consulting reduces withdrawal pressure.
– Flexible work gives confidence.
– Income extends corpus life.
– Market volatility becomes easier to handle.
– This option offers balance.

» Time Advantage You Still Have
– You still have working years.
– One job changes everything positively.
– Corpus continues to compound.
– Do not rush permanent decisions.
– Allow time for clarity.

» Mistakes to Avoid Now
– Avoid panic selling.
– Avoid drastic asset changes.
– Avoid chasing guaranteed returns.
– Avoid emotional decisions.
– Stability protects wealth.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps structure withdrawals.
– Aligns assets with goals.
– Manages risk during uncertainty.
– Protects child education goals.
– Provides clarity and confidence.

» Final Insights
– Your financial base is strong.
– Retirement is possible with discipline.
– Job income adds comfort, not necessity.
– Balanced asset allocation is essential.
– Active fund management suits this stage.
– Emotional calm will protect decisions.
– Structured planning ensures long-term peace.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
Good Morning Sir, I am having a Mutual Fund portfolio of 3.7 Crores, Savings account balance in India of 10 lacs, and PPF/Sukanya Samriddhi/NPS of around 30 lacs. My savings account in UAE has about 30 lacs. I have lost my job and am currently trying to get one. We will be in the UAE till July so that my daughter can complete her school year. If I get a job by then, it will be great; but if not, will I be able to retire with these funds? Please assume that the UAE savings account will be depleted by July during relocation. I have my own apartment in Delhi and present age is 46 with daughter age is 13 Kindly suggest.
Ans: Your discipline over years deserves appreciation.
You built wealth across phases.
You avoided lifestyle inflation.
You planned even while abroad.
This gives you strength now.
Job loss does not erase past discipline.

» Current Life Situation Assessment
– You are 46 years old.
– Your daughter is 13 years old.
– You are temporarily without income.
– UAE stay continues till July.
– Relocation costs are already considered.
– Emotional stress is natural now.

» Asset Snapshot and Financial Base
– Mutual fund portfolio is Rs.3.7 Crores.
– Indian savings account holds Rs.10 lacs.
– Long-term government-backed savings are Rs.30 lacs.
– UAE savings of Rs.30 lacs will deplete.
– You own a Delhi apartment.
– No mention of liabilities exists.

» Net Worth Strength Perspective
– Financial assets remain very strong.
– Market-linked assets dominate wealth.
– Liquidity exists even after relocation.
– Home ownership reduces living pressure.
– This is a solid base.
– Many retirees have far less.

» Employment Gap Impact Review
– Job loss impacts cash flow.
– It does not destroy wealth.
– Time gap creates anxiety.
– Planning reduces fear.
– Your corpus buys time.
– Decisions must remain calm.

» Key Question You Are Asking
– Can I retire if job fails.
– Can corpus last lifelong.
– Can child education be protected.
– Can lifestyle be sustained.
– Can risk be managed.
– These are valid concerns.

» Retirement Age and Horizon View
– Retirement at 46 is early.
– Life expectancy is long.
– Corpus must last decades.
– Inflation will work continuously.
– Growth assets remain essential.
– Protection planning becomes critical.

» Expense Reality After India Return
– Living in owned home helps.
– Rent expense becomes zero.
– India costs are lower than UAE.
– School expenses will continue.
– Lifestyle moderation may be required.
– Flexibility improves sustainability.

» Child Education Responsibility
– Daughter is 13 now.
– Higher education remains ahead.
– Education costs will rise.
– This cannot be compromised.
– Planning must ring-fence this goal.
– Separate allocation is necessary.

» Current Liquidity Comfort
– Indian savings give short-term support.
– Mutual funds give long-term strength.
– PPF and similar give safety.
– Liquidity is adequate now.
– Emergency comfort exists.
– Panic actions are avoidable.

» Can You Retire Immediately
– Technically possible with discipline.
– Practically requires lifestyle alignment.
– Emotionally may feel uncomfortable.
– Job income adds safety.
– Partial work may help.
– Full stop is not mandatory.

» Semi-Retirement as a Middle Path
– Consulting work can reduce pressure.
– Part-time roles give confidence.
– Income reduces withdrawal stress.
– Corpus continues compounding.
– Psychological comfort improves.
– This is often ideal.

» Withdrawal Risk Awareness
– Early retirement faces sequence risk.
– Market downturns can hurt withdrawals.
– Timing matters greatly.
– Structured withdrawal planning is critical.
– Random redemptions harm corpus.
– Discipline protects longevity.

» Mutual Fund Portfolio Role
– Mutual funds remain growth engine.
– They must be managed actively.
– Asset allocation matters more now.
– Aggression should slowly reduce.
– Quality focus becomes key.
– Overlapping exposure must be reviewed.

» Why Active Management Matters Now
– Active funds adjust during downturns.
– Valuations are monitored.
– Risk is controlled dynamically.
– Index exposure falls fully.
– Drawdowns can be harsh.
– Active oversight suits retirees better.

» Debt Allocation Importance
– Debt provides stability.
– Debt funds withdrawals calmly.
– Debt avoids forced equity selling.
– It smoothens cash flow.
– Peace of mind improves.
– Balance is essential now.

» Role of Government-Backed Savings
– PPF and similar give safety.
– They provide predictability.
– Liquidity rules must be respected.
– They support capital protection.
– Keep them untouched longer.
– They act as anchor.

» Managing Market Volatility Emotionally
– Job loss increases fear.
– Markets amplify emotions.
– Avoid reacting to headlines.
– Follow pre-set plan.
– Review annually only.
– Emotional discipline is wealth.

» Tax Awareness During Withdrawals
– Equity withdrawals attract capital gains tax.
– Long-term gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed.
– Short-term gains attract higher tax.
– Withdrawal sequencing matters.
– Tax efficiency improves longevity.
– Planning avoids surprises.

» What You Should Avoid Now
– Avoid panic selling.
– Avoid liquidating entire equity.
– Avoid chasing guaranteed returns.
– Avoid lending informally.
– Avoid untested products.
– Simplicity protects capital.

» Health and Insurance Angle
– Health cover must be strong.
– Job-linked cover may end.
– Family protection is critical.
– Medical inflation is high.
– Review coverage immediately.
– This safeguards corpus.

» Lifestyle Adjustment Reality
– Retirement needs conscious spending.
– Wants must be filtered.
– Needs must be secured.
– Child education stays priority.
– Travel plans may adjust.
– Control gives confidence.

» Psychological Side of Early Retirement
– Identity loss may occur.
– Work gives structure.
– Social engagement matters.
– Purpose prevents anxiety.
– Financial independence is not idleness.
– Mental planning is vital.

» Time as Your Biggest Asset
– You still have years.
– Corpus can still grow.
– One good job changes picture.
– Do not rush decisions.
– Allow six to twelve months.
– Calm thinking improves outcomes.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps structure withdrawals.
– Aligns assets with life stages.
– Prevents emotional mistakes.
– Reviews asset allocation.
– Protects child goals.
– Adds clarity in uncertainty.

» Final Insights
– Your financial base is strong.
– Immediate retirement is possible with discipline.
– Job income adds safety and comfort.
– Semi-retirement is a balanced option.
– Child education must be ring-fenced.
– Active fund management suits your stage.
– Liquidity and debt bring stability.
– Patience and structure will protect your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
45 years of age, self employed. I am selling my flat and after paying all taxes/capital gains should have roughly about 70 lakhs to invest. I already have 65 lakhs in MF, 95 lakhs portfolio in equity and also have couple more real estate properties where i fetch about 1 lakh.per month rental income. My monthly earning currently is irratic and annually around 10-12lakhs. No EMI , LOANS ETC. outgoing are SIP OF 60000, anything surplus I invest in equity. Child is 8 years and his education, future education, current fees all are made up for as mentioned and my wife together do SIP OF 110000 towards the same. My question is my wife and my investments are all exposed to MF AND equity. NO FD, NO OTHER diversified investments. So this income from sale of flat, do we invest in markets again or any other options are available. We have no liabilities , hence can take medium to agressive risks .
Ans: Your discipline and clarity deserve appreciation.
You have built assets patiently.
You avoided unnecessary debt wisely.
Your questions show maturity and foresight.
This is a strong financial position already.
Now refinement matters more than expansion.

» Your Current Financial Strength
– You are 45 years old.
– You are self-employed with flexibility.
– Annual income is irregular but healthy.
– No loans or EMIs exist.
– Rental income provides stability.
– This is a strong base.

» Asset Overview and Balance
– Mutual fund exposure is significant.
– Direct equity exposure is also large.
– Real estate exposure already exists.
– Child education planning is well handled.
– SIP discipline is excellent.
– Overall net worth is strong.

» Liquidity and Cash Flow Position
– Rental income gives steady monthly cash.
– Business income is uneven.
– SIP commitments are comfortably met.
– Surplus is invested regularly.
– Liquidity buffer needs assessment.
– Emergency comfort matters for self-employed.

» Risk Capacity Versus Risk Comfort
– Risk capacity is clearly high.
– Risk comfort also seems high.
– However concentration risk exists.
– Markets dominate portfolio exposure.
– Volatility impact must be evaluated.
– Diversification is the real concern.

» Understanding Concentration Risk
– Equity and mutual funds move together.
– Market downturns affect both sharply.
– Psychological stress can increase.
– Liquidity may dry temporarily.
– Long-term returns remain good.
– But timing risk exists.

» Your Core Question Clarified
– You are not asking about returns.
– You are asking about balance.
– You want intelligent diversification.
– You want risk-managed growth.
– You want capital protection layers.
– This is correct thinking.

» Should the Rs.70 Lakhs Enter Markets Fully
– Putting all again into markets increases concentration.
– It magnifies timing risk.
– Even strong investors need balance.
– Markets may not always cooperate.
– Partial allocation is sensible.
– Phased deployment is wiser.

» Importance of Staggered Investment
– Lump sum market entry carries timing risk.
– Volatility can impact short-term value.
– Phased investing smoothens entry.
– Emotion management improves.
– Decision quality stays high.
– Discipline matters even for experienced investors.

» Role of Debt-Oriented Instruments
– Debt provides stability to portfolio.
– Debt reduces overall volatility.
– Debt supports rebalancing later.
– Debt gives liquidity comfort.
– Returns are predictable.
– Peace of mind improves decision making.

» Why Some Debt Exposure Is Necessary
– You are self-employed.
– Income is irregular.
– Markets can fall anytime.
– Debt cushions lifestyle needs.
– Avoid forced equity selling.
– This protects long-term wealth.

» Debt Mutual Funds Perspective
– Debt funds offer flexibility.
– They are more tax-efficient than fixed deposits.
– Liquidity is better.
– Suitable for medium-term goals.
– Risk varies by fund quality.
– Selection must be conservative.

» Avoiding Fixed Deposits Blindly
– Fixed deposits lock money.
– Tax efficiency is poor.
– Returns barely beat inflation.
– Liquidity may have penalties.
– Better alternatives exist.
– Structure matters more than familiarity.

» Hybrid and Balanced Allocation Thought
– Hybrid funds mix growth and stability.
– Volatility remains controlled.
– Suitable for capital protection.
– Good parking for part capital.
– Helps rebalancing automatically.
– Useful during uncertain markets.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Suit You
– Active managers adjust with cycles.
– Valuations matter to them.
– Sector rotation is managed.
– Downside protection improves.
– Concentration risk reduces.
– Passive exposure lacks this flexibility.

» Disadvantages of Index Exposure
– Index follows markets blindly.
– No valuation control exists.
– Drawdowns are full impact.
– Recovery takes patience.
– Emotional stress increases.
– Active management adds value here.

» Existing Equity Portfolio Review Thought
– Equity exposure is already high.
– Additional equity should be selective.
– Avoid duplication across holdings.
– Style diversification matters.
– Avoid over-aggression now.
– Capital preservation gains importance.

» Asset Allocation Direction Suggested
– Equity should still remain majority.
– Debt should act as stabiliser.
– Allocation must be intentional.
– Not reactive to market moods.
– Review annually.
– Adjust gradually with age.

» Emergency and Opportunity Fund
– Self-employed professionals need buffers.
– At least one year expenses covered.
– This avoids panic during downturns.
– Opportunity buying also becomes possible.
– Confidence improves decision making.
– Liquidity brings power.

» Role of Alternative Strategies
– Avoid unregulated products.
– Avoid opaque structures.
– Simplicity works best.
– Transparency builds trust.
– Liquidity should not be compromised.
– Focus on controllable risks.

» Tax Efficiency Awareness
– Capital gains planning matters.
– Phased investing helps tax management.
– Debt funds taxed per slab.
– Equity taxed on withdrawal.
– Withdrawal planning matters later.
– Structure supports efficiency.

» Retirement Planning Angle
– Retirement is still distant.
– But preparation must start.
– Equity will power long-term growth.
– Debt will stabilise income later.
– Balanced build-up helps future SWP.
– This foresight is valuable.

» Child Goal Already Secured
– Education planning is strong.
– SIP discipline is excellent.
– No need to disturb this.
– Avoid overlapping investments.
– Keep child goal separate.
– This reduces confusion later.

» Behavioural Discipline Strength
– You already invest consistently.
– You avoid panic actions.
– You reinvest surplus logically.
– This is rare.
– Maintain this strength.
– Do not complicate unnecessarily.

» What Not to Do With Rs.70 Lakhs
– Do not rush entire amount.
– Do not chase trending assets.
– Do not over-diversify blindly.
– Do not keep idle long-term.
– Do not ignore risk layering.
– Avoid emotional decisions.

» Suggested Deployment Philosophy
– Divide money by purpose.
– Some for stability.
– Some for growth.
– Some for liquidity.
– Invest gradually.
– Review annually.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps structure allocation.
– Prevents overexposure mistakes.
– Aligns with life goals.
– Manages behavioural risks.
– Reviews objectively.
– Adds long-term value.

» Final Insights
– Your financial base is strong.
– Concentration risk is the key concern.
– Full market reinvestment needs caution.
– Partial debt allocation improves balance.
– Phased investing reduces timing risk.
– Active management suits your profile.
– Liquidity buffer is essential.
– Structured diversification will protect and grow wealth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
I am 54 years old, my monthly salary is 40 K, my liability 6 lakhs loan liability and personal from 2 lakhs in ICICI bank, and 5000 two wheeler loan from hdfc and another loan of Rs, 35000 from LIC Policy pledged. I invested Rs. 58000 in stocks and Rs. 15000 in mutual funds and I have owned a residential house in kochi, Kerala No Other Savings. Pls. advise to how can I some savings at the age of 60
Ans: You have shown courage by asking this question honestly.
Many people avoid facing numbers at this age.
You are taking responsibility now.
That itself is a strong positive step.
There is still time to improve outcomes.
With discipline, progress is possible.

» Current Age and Time Availability
– You are 54 years old now.
– Retirement planning window is around six years.
– Time is limited but not over.
– Focus must shift to stability and control.
– Aggressive risks should reduce gradually.
– Consistency matters more than return chasing.

» Income Position Assessment
– Monthly salary is Rs.40,000.
– Income appears fixed and predictable.
– Salary growth may be limited now.
– Planning should assume stable income only.
– Avoid depending on uncertain future hikes.
– Savings must come from discipline.

» Expense Awareness and Reality
– Expenses were not detailed fully.
– Loans indicate cash flow pressure.
– Lifestyle spending must be reviewed honestly.
– Small savings matter at this stage.
– Leakages need strict control.
– Tracking expenses becomes critical now.

» Loan and Liability Overview
– Total loan burden is significant.
– Personal loan of Rs.6 lakh exists.
– Additional Rs.2 lakh personal loan exists.
– Two-wheeler loan EMI of Rs.5,000 runs.
– LIC policy loan of Rs.35,000 exists.
– Multiple loans increase stress.

» Interest Cost Impact
– Personal loans carry high interest.
– Two-wheeler loan also costs more.
– LIC policy loan reduces policy benefits.
– High interest erodes future savings.
– Loan control must be first priority.
– Returns cannot beat high interest easily.

» Asset Position Overview
– Residential house in Kochi is owned.
– House gives living security.
– No rental income assumed currently.
– House should not be sold for retirement.
– Emotional and practical value is high.
– Treat it as safety asset.

» Investment Snapshot
– Equity stock investment is Rs.58,000.
– Mutual fund investment is Rs.15,000.
– Total financial investments are very low.
– This limits compounding benefits.
– However, starting now still helps.
– Even small steps matter.

» Liquidity and Emergency Status
– No clear emergency fund exists.
– Loans indicate past emergencies.
– Lack of emergency fund causes borrowing.
– This cycle must stop.
– Emergency fund is foundation.
– Without it, savings break repeatedly.

» Priority Reset Required
– Retirement savings come after stability.
– First priority is cash flow control.
– Second priority is loan reduction.
– Third priority is emergency fund.
– Fourth priority is retirement investing.
– Order matters greatly now.

» Debt Reduction Strategy Importance
– Reducing loans gives guaranteed returns.
– Emotional relief also improves discipline.
– Fewer EMIs free monthly cash.
– Cash can redirect to savings.
– Retirement planning needs free cash flow.
– Debt blocks future progress.

» Which Loan to Target First
– Focus on highest interest loan first.
– Personal loans usually cost the most.
– Two-wheeler loan can follow.
– LIC policy loan should close early.
– Policy value should recover.
– Avoid new borrowing strictly.

» LIC Policy Review
– LIC policy is pledged currently.
– This reduces maturity value.
– Many LIC policies give low returns.
– Insurance and investment are mixed here.
– Such policies hurt retirement efficiency.
– Review purpose of this policy carefully.

» Action on LIC Policy
– If LIC is investment-oriented, reconsider.
– Surrender may free funds.
– Loan can be cleared using surrender value.
– Remaining amount can rebuild savings.
– Policy continuation must justify benefits.
– Emotional attachment should be avoided.

» Emergency Fund Creation
– Emergency fund should cover basic expenses.
– Target at least six months needs.
– Start with small monthly amount.
– Keep it separate from investments.
– This prevents future borrowing.
– Stability improves mental peace.

» Retirement Goal Reality Check
– Retirement age is close.
– Corpus building time is short.
– Expectations must stay realistic.
– Focus on supplementary income creation.
– Avoid risky return promises.
– Capital protection becomes important.

» Role of Equity at This Stage
– Equity still has a role.
– But exposure must be limited.
– Volatility can hurt near retirement.
– Balanced approach is needed.
– Equity for growth.
– Debt for stability.

» Mutual Fund Strategy Thought Process
– Mutual funds offer flexibility.
– SIP helps discipline monthly savings.
– Actively managed funds suit this phase.
– Fund managers adjust risk dynamically.
– This protects downside better.
– Index funds lack such control.

» Why Index Funds Are Risky Now
– Index funds fall fully with markets.
– No protection during market crashes.
– Near retirement, recovery time is less.
– Emotional panic risk increases.
– Active funds manage risk better.
– Stability matters more than matching index.

» Direct Funds Versus Regular Funds
– Direct funds need strong self-discipline.
– Wrong fund choice can hurt badly.
– No guidance during market stress.
– Regular funds offer support.
– Certified Financial Planner guidance helps.
– Behaviour management is crucial now.

» Monthly Savings Possibility
– Even Rs.3,000 matters now.
– Start small but stay consistent.
– Increase amount after loan closure.
– Automate savings immediately after salary.
– Avoid waiting for surplus.
– Surplus never comes automatically.

» Expense Rationalisation Steps
– Review subscriptions and discretionary spends.
– Reduce non-essential expenses.
– Delay lifestyle upgrades.
– Focus on needs over wants.
– Every saved rupee counts.
– Discipline builds confidence.

» Asset Allocation Approach
– Majority should be stable assets.
– Smaller portion in growth assets.
– Avoid concentration risk.
– Do not chase trending stocks.
– Consistency beats speculation.
– Preservation becomes key now.

» Stock Investment Review
– Existing stocks need careful review.
– Avoid frequent trading.
– High risk stocks should reduce gradually.
– Capital protection matters now.
– Reinvest proceeds wisely.
– Emotional decisions must stop.

» Retirement Income Planning Thought
– Retirement income must be predictable.
– Monthly cash flow is required.
– Capital should last longer.
– Avoid lump sum withdrawals.
– Planning must support longevity.
– Health costs may rise later.

» Health Insurance Importance
– Medical expenses rise with age.
– Adequate health insurance is essential.
– This protects retirement savings.
– Avoid policy gaps.
– Review coverage annually.
– Health shocks destroy savings fast.

» Tax Efficiency Consideration
– Tax should be considered carefully.
– Mutual funds offer tax efficiency.
– Gains taxed only on withdrawal.
– Equity gains have specific rules.
– Debt gains taxed as per slab.
– Planning reduces unnecessary tax.

» Behavioural Discipline Required
– Market volatility will test patience.
– Avoid panic selling.
– Avoid greed-driven buying.
– Stick to chosen path.
– Annual review is sufficient.
– Emotional control is critical.

» Role of Side Income
– Explore small side income options.
– Skill-based work can help.
– Even small extra income helps.
– Direct it fully into savings.
– Do not increase lifestyle.
– Purpose is retirement security.

» Family Communication
– Family should know limitations.
– Set realistic expectations together.
– Avoid financial surprises later.
– Transparency reduces stress.
– Shared responsibility helps discipline.
– Support improves success chances.

» Common Mistakes to Avoid
– Chasing high return promises.
– Ignoring debt problem.
– Using retirement money for emergencies.
– Frequent portfolio changes.
– Delaying action further.
– Comparing with others.

» Psychological Aspect
– Guilt about late start is normal.
– Do not dwell on past.
– Focus on controllable actions now.
– Small wins build confidence.
– Progress matters more than perfection.
– Hope must stay alive.

» What Success Looks Like Now
– Reduced debt burden.
– Emergency fund in place.
– Regular monthly savings habit.
– Controlled risk exposure.
– Predictable retirement income support.
– Peace of mind.

» Final Insights
– You are late but not helpless.
– Debt reduction is first priority.
– Emergency fund is essential.
– LIC policy needs careful review.
– Mutual funds can support retirement.
– Active management suits your stage.
– Discipline matters more than amount.
– With steady effort, improvement is possible.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
can anyone suggest some good mutual funds to invest ?
Ans: It is good you are asking this question.
Many people invest blindly without understanding.
Your intent shows responsibility and awareness.
This is the right starting point.
Mutual funds work best with clarity.
I appreciate your willingness to learn.

» Understanding the Real Question
– You are not asking for returns alone.
– You are asking for safety and growth.
– You want confidence in decisions.
– You want fewer mistakes.
– This mindset is very important.
– Mutual funds need goal-based thinking.

» Why “Good Mutual Funds” Is a Relative Term
– There is no single best fund.
– Suitability matters more than popularity.
– Age changes risk tolerance.
– Income stability matters.
– Time horizon matters greatly.
– Emotional comfort also matters.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– A Certified Financial Planner matches funds to goals.
– Random suggestions often fail.
– Personal context decides suitability.
– Fund selection is not guessing.
– It is a structured process.
– Guidance prevents costly mistakes.

» First Step Before Choosing Any Fund
– Identify your goal clearly.
– Short term goals differ from long term.
– Retirement goals need stability.
– Wealth creation needs patience.
– Emergency money should stay separate.
– Mixing goals creates confusion.

» Importance of Time Horizon
– Less than three years needs safety.
– Three to seven years needs balance.
– More than seven years allows growth focus.
– Time absorbs market volatility.
– Longer time reduces risk.
– Short time increases uncertainty.

» Understanding Risk Properly
– Risk is not loss alone.
– Risk is emotional panic also.
– Wrong fund causes sleepless nights.
– Panic selling destroys wealth.
– Right fund keeps you calm.
– Calm investors earn better returns.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Matter
– Markets change constantly.
– Companies rise and fall.
– Active managers track these changes.
– They reduce exposure during stress.
– They increase quality holdings.
– This flexibility protects capital.

» Disadvantages of Index Funds
– Index funds blindly follow markets.
– No downside protection exists.
– Full fall happens during crashes.
– Recovery takes time.
– Near goals, this hurts badly.
– Active funds manage risk better.

» Importance of Asset Allocation
– Do not put everything in equity.
– Debt provides stability.
– Equity provides growth.
– Balance reduces volatility.
– Allocation should change with age.
– This improves long-term success.

» Equity Mutual Fund Categories Explained
– Large-focused funds invest in stable companies.
– Mid-focused funds aim higher growth.
– Smaller companies bring higher volatility.
– Flexi-style funds adjust across sizes.
– Balanced style funds mix debt and equity.
– Each serves a different purpose.

» When to Use Large-Focused Equity Funds
– Suitable for conservative investors.
– Suitable for beginners.
– Suitable near retirement.
– Volatility remains lower.
– Growth is steady.
– Confidence remains higher.

» When to Use Mid-Focused Equity Funds
– Suitable for longer horizons.
– Suitable for moderate risk takers.
– Returns can be higher.
– Falls can be sharp sometimes.
– Requires patience.
– SIP helps manage volatility.

» When to Use Smaller Company Focused Funds
– Only for long horizons.
– Only for high risk tolerance.
– Not suitable near goals.
– Volatility is very high.
– Returns fluctuate widely.
– Allocation should be limited.

» Role of Flexi-Style Equity Funds
– Managers move across market sizes.
– They respond to valuations.
– They reduce concentration risk.
– Suitable for uncertain markets.
– Good core holding.
– Useful across life stages.

» Balanced Style Funds Explained
– Mix of equity and debt exists.
– Volatility is lower.
– Returns are smoother.
– Suitable for conservative investors.
– Suitable near retirement.
– Provides income stability.

» Debt Mutual Fund Understanding
– Debt funds invest in fixed income instruments.
– Returns are more stable.
– Risk depends on credit quality.
– Short duration suits safety needs.
– Long duration suits interest rate cycles.
– Selection must be careful.

» Why Debt Funds Matter
– They reduce overall portfolio risk.
– They provide predictable returns.
– They help during market crashes.
– They support regular withdrawals.
– They improve sleep quality.
– They bring balance.

» Tax Aspect Awareness
– Equity gains have holding period rules.
– Long term equity gains have lower tax.
– Short term gains attract higher tax.
– Debt gains taxed as per slab.
– Holding period planning reduces tax.
– Withdrawal planning matters.

» SIP Versus Lump Sum
– SIP builds discipline.
– SIP reduces timing risk.
– Lump sum suits surplus money.
– Market timing is difficult.
– SIP suits salaried investors.
– Consistency matters more than timing.

» Why Regular Funds Are Better for Most
– Regular funds provide guidance.
– Behaviour management is included.
– Review support is available.
– Panic decisions are reduced.
– CFP guidance adds value.
– Cost difference is justified often.

» Disadvantages of Direct Funds
– No handholding during volatility.
– Wrong allocation mistakes occur.
– Investors panic during falls.
– Discipline breaks easily.
– Mistakes cost more than savings.
– Support matters more than cost.

» Portfolio Construction Principles
– Limit number of funds.
– Avoid duplication.
– Diversify across styles.
– Align funds with goals.
– Review annually only.
– Avoid frequent changes.

» How Many Funds Are Enough
– Too many funds confuse tracking.
– Four to six funds are enough.
– Each fund must have a role.
– Overlapping funds reduce efficiency.
– Simplicity improves discipline.
– Control improves results.

» Common Mistakes Investors Make
– Chasing recent performance.
– Following social media tips.
– Switching frequently.
– Investing without goals.
– Ignoring asset allocation.
– Stopping SIP during downturns.

» Behaviour Is More Important Than Funds
– Good behaviour beats good products.
– Staying invested matters most.
– Panic destroys compounding.
– Patience builds wealth.
– Discipline creates results.
– Confidence grows over time.

» Role of Review and Rebalancing
– Portfolio needs periodic review.
– Life changes need adjustments.
– Risk increases with market rise.
– Rebalancing restores balance.
– Annual review is enough.
– Over-monitoring creates stress.

» Age-Based Allocation Thought
– Younger investors can take higher equity.
– Middle age needs balanced approach.
– Near retirement needs stability.
– Allocation must reduce risk gradually.
– This protects capital.
– Longevity risk increases later.

» Emotional Side of Investing
– Fear and greed influence decisions.
– Market news creates panic.
– Discipline reduces emotional damage.
– Guidance provides reassurance.
– Staying calm is crucial.
– Long-term view wins.

» Importance of Emergency Fund
– Emergency fund protects investments.
– It avoids forced selling.
– Keep it separate from mutual funds.
– Liquidity matters here.
– Peace of mind improves discipline.
– This is foundation step.

» Goal-Based Investing Is Key
– Each goal needs its own strategy.
– Education goals differ from retirement.
– Short goals need safety.
– Long goals allow growth.
– Mixing goals causes confusion.
– Structure brings clarity.

» Final Insights
– Good mutual funds depend on your goals.
– Actively managed funds suit most investors.
– Asset allocation matters more than fund names.
– Discipline beats market timing.
– Guidance reduces costly mistakes.
– Start with clarity and patience.
– Stay consistent and review annually.
– This approach builds long-term wealth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
My friend age is 39 salary is 70000 loan 100000 with 1200 EMI had 5.5 lakh pf and yearly lic policies of 45000 had own house worth 40 lakhs and one land worth 15 lakhs nearly son age is 4 how to invest for education
Ans: Your friend has taken a responsible step by thinking early.
Planning for a child’s education shows care and foresight.
Starting now gives strong advantage.
Time is the biggest strength here.
This deserves appreciation and encouragement.

» Family and Life Stage Assessment
– Your friend is 39 years old.
– Child is only 4 years old.
– Education goal is 14 to 18 years away.
– This gives long investment runway.
– Long horizon allows growth focus.
– Early planning reduces pressure later.

» Income and Stability Review
– Monthly salary is Rs.70,000.
– Income seems stable currently.
– EMI burden is very low.
– Loan amount is manageable.
– Cash flow pressure appears limited.
– This supports long-term investing.

» Existing Asset Overview
– Provident fund value is Rs.5.5 lakh.
– Own house provides residential security.
– Land holding adds balance sheet strength.
– Physical assets already exist.
– Education funding should stay financial.
– Avoid mixing goals with properties.

» Current Liability Position
– Loan amount is only Rs.1 lakh.
– EMI is Rs.1,200 monthly.
– Debt stress is minimal.
– No urgent prepayment pressure exists.
– Liquidity remains comfortable.
– This supports regular investments.

» Child Education Cost Reality
– Education costs rise faster than inflation.
– Higher education costs are unpredictable.
– Foreign education increases costs sharply.
– Professional courses cost much more.
– Planning should assume higher expenses.
– Conservative assumptions protect future.

» Time Horizon Advantage
– Child has 14 plus years.
– Long horizon favours equity exposure.
– Short-term volatility becomes irrelevant.
– Compounding works best over time.
– Discipline matters more than timing.
– Starting early reduces monthly burden.

» Goal Segregation Importance
– Education goal must stay separate.
– Retirement goals should not mix.
– House and land should remain untouched.
– Education money needs liquidity later.
– Clear buckets avoid confusion.
– This brings clarity and focus.

» Provident Fund Role Clarification
– PF is meant for retirement.
– Avoid using PF for education.
– PF offers safety, not flexibility.
– Withdrawal later affects retirement comfort.
– Let PF compound peacefully.
– Education should have its own plan.

» LIC Policy Assessment
– LIC policies are long-term commitments.
– Many LIC policies give low returns.
– Education goal needs higher growth.
– Insurance and investment should not mix.
– Review policy purpose carefully.
– Education planning needs efficiency.

» Action on LIC Policies
– If LIC is investment oriented, review seriously.
– Such policies often underperform inflation.
– Education goal needs stronger growth engine.
– Consider surrender after policy review.
– Redirect money into mutual funds.
– This improves goal probability.

» Risk Capacity Versus Risk Appetite
– Income stability supports equity exposure.
– Child’s age supports growth focus.
– Emotional comfort still matters.
– Portfolio should avoid extreme swings.
– Balance reduces regret during downturns.
– Discipline ensures long-term success.

» Asset Allocation Thought Process
– Education goal allows higher equity allocation.
– Small debt portion adds stability.
– Allocation should change near goal.
– Gradual de-risking protects corpus.
– No sudden changes later.
– Planning must be dynamic.

» Why Mutual Funds Fit Education Goals
– Mutual funds offer growth potential.
– They allow disciplined monthly investing.
– SIP suits salary earners well.
– Flexibility exists for top-ups.
– Liquidity is available when needed.
– Transparency improves understanding.

» Importance of Active Management
– Active funds manage downside risks.
– Fund managers respond to market changes.
– Education corpus cannot afford blind tracking.
– Index investing lacks downside control.
– Active approach suits long-term goals.
– Flexibility is critical here.

» Why Index Funds Are Not Ideal
– Index funds follow markets mechanically.
– They fall fully during market crashes.
– No protection during extreme volatility.
– Education timeline cannot wait always.
– Active funds adjust allocations actively.
– This reduces emotional stress.

» Monthly Investment Discipline
– SIP builds habit and discipline.
– Small amounts grow meaningfully over time.
– Step-up SIP improves future corpus.
– Salary growth supports step-up.
– Consistency matters more than amount.
– Missed months reduce compounding.

» Emergency Fund Before Education Investing
– Emergency fund should exist first.
– At least six months expenses recommended.
– This avoids breaking education investments.
– Emergencies are unpredictable.
– Financial shocks derail long-term plans.
– Stability supports discipline.

» Insurance Protection Check
– Adequate term insurance is critical.
– Child’s education depends on income.
– Insurance protects goal continuity.
– Medical insurance protects savings.
– Without protection, plans collapse.
– Risk management comes first.

» Tax Efficiency Perspective
– Education investing should consider tax.
– Mutual funds offer tax-efficient growth.
– Tax applies only on realised gains.
– Equity gains have specific rules.
– Planning improves post-tax outcomes.
– Tax should not drive decisions alone.

» Behavioural Aspects of Education Planning
– Market corrections will happen.
– Panic reactions harm long-term goals.
– Education planning needs patience.
– Annual review is enough.
– Avoid daily portfolio tracking.
– Trust the process.

» Role of Land and House
– House provides living security.
– Land is illiquid for education needs.
– Avoid selling assets for education.
– Forced sales reduce value.
– Education funds must be liquid.
– Separate assets reduce stress.

» Periodic Review and Rebalancing
– Review education plan yearly.
– Increase investments with income growth.
– Reduce risk near goal.
– Shift gradually to safer assets.
– Avoid last-minute surprises.
– Discipline ensures success.

» Child Education Milestones Planning
– School education costs come first.
– Graduation costs come later.
– Post-graduation may need larger funds.
– Plan for multiple stages.
– Avoid lump-sum burden later.
– Stagger planning reduces stress.

» Emotional Satisfaction Aspect
– Education planning gives confidence.
– Parents sleep better with clarity.
– Child benefits from better choices.
– Financial clarity improves family harmony.
– Less stress improves health.
– Planning improves overall life quality.

» Role of Certified Financial Planner
– Personalised planning improves outcomes.
– Risk comfort differs per family.
– Cash flow analysis matters.
– Goal prioritisation avoids conflicts.
– Periodic guidance improves discipline.
– Holistic approach protects all goals.

» Common Mistakes to Avoid
– Starting too late.
– Relying only on LIC policies.
– Using PF for education.
– Chasing high returns blindly.
– Ignoring inflation impact.
– Avoiding reviews.

» Long-Term Discipline Reminder
– Education planning is a marathon.
– Short-term noise should be ignored.
– Time corrects many mistakes.
– Discipline beats intelligence here.
– Patience builds strong corpus.
– Calmness protects decisions.

» Final Insights
– Your friend has strong starting position.
– Early planning gives big advantage.
– Child’s age supports growth focus.
– Mutual funds suit education goals well.
– LIC policies need careful review.
– Insurance protection is essential.
– Discipline and reviews ensure success.
– With proper structure, education goals are achievable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |425 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
i am a 65 year old person at present working in a company as advisor with Rs.2,00,000/-month remuneration.My son is studying 1st year B.Tech.My wife is a home maker.I am having 2 apartments on my name worth approx.2 crores.MY wife is a single child to my in laws and i stay in my mother in law's house as my wife has to take care of her. I am having a plot which costs about 75 lakhs rupees.I am having PPF amount Rs,25 lakhs in my account and still account is not closed.I may be having a cash of Rs.20 lakhs approx.in various forms.I am havinga stocks porfolio worth Rs30 lakhs.I am giving you my MF sips in various forms.The MFs amount is to the tune of Rs.80 lakhs. Fund Name Category SIP Amount % of Portfolio Motilal Oswal Large Cap Fund Large Cap ₹15,000 10.3% Nippon India Large Cap Fund Large Cap ₹13,000 8.9% Total Large Cap ₹28,000 19.2% HDFC Midcap Fund Mid Cap ₹7,500 5.1% Edelweiss Mid Cap Fund Mid Cap ₹31,000 21.2% Total Mid Cap ₹38,500 26.3% SBI Small Cap Fund Small Cap ₹3,500 2.4% Nippon India Small Cap Fund Small Cap ₹2,000 1.4% Total Small Cap ₹5,500 3.8% Parag Parikh Flexicap Fund Flexi Cap ₹38,500 26.3% HDFC Focused Fund Focused ₹7,000 4.8% Mirae Asset Large & Midcap Fund Large & Mid Cap ₹2,500 1.7% Total Diversified Equity ₹48,000 32.8% Canara Robeco Multi Asset Multi Asset ₹1,500 1.0% HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund BAF ₹10,000 6.8% Total Hybrid / Debt-Oriented ₹11,500 7.9% Tata Nifty Capital Markets Index Sectoral (Financial Services) ₹2,000 1.4% Nippon India Banking & Financial Services Sectoral (Financial Services) ₹1,500 1.0% Total Sectoral ₹3,500 2.4% Total SIP amount is approx.Rs.1.5 lakhs / month . I am having monthly sips for SBI small cap,nippon india small cap, dsp small cap rs.5000/-each in addition to above SIPs.My total MFs amount is approx.rs.75 lakhs. Though i am not sure how many months my assignment continue, immediately there is no threat.at present my health only is the criteria to continue and i may continue for maximum of one year.MY wife also may be having cash in various forms to the tune of Rs.50 lakhs. This is my financial status. Kindly guide me for a better and remunerative planning.Best Regards.
Ans: Hi Nadakuduru,

Your overall assets are good but need some proper realignment wrt you what all you mentioned. Let us have a detailed look:

- Considering that you will work for a year or so, you need to have proper alignment of your current assets in liquid form.
- Close your PPF account upon maturity and park it in debt MFs.
- Direct stock investment is way too risky. Shift that amount in equity mutual funds to fund you when you stop working.
- Make a FD of 20 lakhs cash that you have for your emergency requirement.
- Your current SIPs are highly overdiversified and overlapped. A portfolio like this never gives a good return. Hence work with a professional to get a good portfolio.
A DIY portfolio like yours can break your overall investments. Do not do any large investments like these without proper guidance.
- Hence stop current SIPS and take professional's help.

Do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x