Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Is My Mother-in-Law Sabotaging My Marriage? - Help From A Married Woman

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |551 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 21, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi I got married 2 years back. It's a love marriage. My husband was very caring and supportive. But her mother used to fill him against me everytime

Ans: Have you spoken to your husband openly about how this is making you feel? The key is to approach the conversation calmly and without blaming his mother directly. Instead of saying "Your mother is turning you against me," you could say something like, "I feel like our relationship is changing, and I miss the way we used to be. I just want us to be happy together without outside negativity affecting us."

Try to understand his perspective as well. He might be feeling torn between his mother and you, not knowing how to balance both relationships. If he truly cares for you, he will listen and try to make things better. However, if he constantly prioritizes his mother’s opinions over your well-being, it might be a deeper issue that requires counseling or a serious conversation about boundaries in marriage.

Would you like to share more about how his behavior has changed and what specific things his mother says to influence him? That could help in figuring out the best way to approach this.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |551 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 23, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Because of my mother my married life is falling apart.. my mother does something purposely which hurts my wife and then quarrel starts. I pleaded my mother not to do so many times but she doesn't understand what we are loosing. I don't want to loose any of them family. Pls advice what should I do.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're facing such a challenging situation. Balancing relationships with both your mother and your spouse can be difficult, but it's essential to find a way to create harmony. Here's some advice on how to handle this situation:

Communication: Open, honest, and empathetic communication is crucial. Sit down with your mother and your spouse separately and discuss the issue. Let them both know how much you care about them and the impact their conflicts are having on your life.
Set Boundaries: Clearly define boundaries with your mother and your spouse. Discuss what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Make it clear that you expect respect and kindness toward one another.
Counseling or Mediation: If direct communication doesn't resolve the issue, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a family therapist or counselor, to mediate the conversation. They can provide guidance and facilitate a constructive dialogue.
Prioritize Your Spouse: Your spouse should be your primary concern when it comes to your immediate family. Make sure your wife knows that you support her and are taking her concerns seriously.
Support Your Mother's Transition: If your mother's actions are rooted in a sense of loss or fear of losing you, reassure her that you still love her and that your relationship with your spouse doesn't diminish your love for her.
Time and Patience: Resolving family conflicts can take time. Be patient and persistent in your efforts to mend the relationships.
Self-Reflection: Reflect on your role in the situation and ensure you are not unintentionally contributing to the conflicts. Sometimes, small changes in your behavior can make a big difference.
Establish Separate Boundaries: If necessary, you might consider setting boundaries that involve keeping your mother and spouse apart if they can't peacefully coexist.
Remember, it's crucial to strike a balance and prioritize your spouse and immediate family. While maintaining a relationship with your mother is important, your marital relationship should come first. Seek professional help if the situation doesn't improve, as a therapist can provide guidance tailored to your specific circumstances.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Rajesh Kumar

Rajesh Kumar Singh  |87 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, GATE Expert - Answered on Feb 22, 2025

Rajesh Kumar

Rajesh Kumar Singh  |87 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, GATE Expert - Answered on Feb 22, 2025

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |792 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Feb 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
I've joined offline PW coaching this year and having no guidance at all i didn't knew the ground reality of coachings and stem subjects. I've already spent 1 lakh for 2 year course and now coaching is just draining and managing it with school where coaching is not helping at all even tho they're tied up with the school which is resulting in backlogs. I'm unable to manage self study time to actually focus because if my basics aren't clear then how am I supposed to do the advanced ones. I'm thinking to leave the coaching, there's also a lot of pressure and demotivation from parents as they think I'm the one causing the problems but if I had known about it then I wouldn't have chosen coaching at all, I don't have any issues with the subjects I chose for me as I do I want know and learn them but not this way with issues where even the teachers are not supportive
Ans: Assess the Value: Reflect on whether the coaching sessions are enhancing your understanding of subjects or if they're contributing to confusion and backlogs. If the latter is true, it may be worth reconsidering your enrollment.

Discuss with Stakeholders: Communicate your concerns with your parents and, if possible, the coaching administration. They might offer solutions such as adjusted schedules or additional support.

You can do self study with the help of online material. PW and khan academy have free online martials. In my opinion self study is the best way of learning. On an average you have study 8 to 10 hours per day.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x