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Girlfriend Broke Up With Me For Contacting My Ex: Can I Fix It?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 29, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, my girlfriend stocks my ex social accounts due to some trust issues given by me ,after many attempts of saying that please stop stocking her because at the end it came to a fight so I decided to take a step and I contacted my ex with one of my friends help and ask her to please block my girlfriend account from you social platforms so that we can live a happy life together. But this thing was out from my mouth that I have done this to protect our relationship later few days when she comes to know that she is blocked and now she has broken up with me for making her disrespect and low confidence. What should I do to save my relationship as I have take this step to just work the things btw us.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you have given her reasons to distrust you but do you think a relationship can work without trust? Whatever you have done to cause this, if the both of you have decided to set it aside and move forward, then this constant stalking isn't right on her part. A healthy relationship focuses on the present and future, not the past. Give her a moment to cool down and once the time is right, you can contact her again and have a clear discussion with her about the same. But more importantly, I'd suggest you think long and hard before you put in effort to make things right.

Reconsidering the relationship might be good for both your mental health. Even if you two decide to patch things up, there is only one right approach to any relationship- she will trust you, and you will never break it again. That's the only way this relationship can work. This is merely a suggestion. Please reflect on it before you rush to any decision.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2023

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I have a girlfriend.. And i proposed a girl for fun i dont have any feelings on her.. Shes my friend and even she knows we are in a relation.. And another.. My girl has some issues with her friends.. They were planning to beat.. Or scold then i stood beside.. Not let them to hit but daid to speak to her.. She got insulted there.. Now my girlfriend broke up saying these reasons.. What should i do ?
Ans: Dear Srujan,

Your intentions might not be tainted but put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes, and don't think from your perspective. Think of hers. You might have been okay if the roles were reversed, but can't say the same for most people. Jealousy is a green-eyed monster, but for some instances, it is justified; not right, but understandable. You proposing to another girl might have been a joke for you, but it hurt your GF. The only thing you can do here is to explain the situation and apologize for making her feel this way, even though it wasn't your intention.

For your second issue, I'd say it was good thinking on your part not to get too involved and yet be there for your girlfriend and stop her friends from resorting to violence. If that has insulted your partner, you can try clarifying your intent, and if she still does not want to pay heed to your side of the story, you don't owe her any more explanation for this particular issue.

If you don't have trust and understanding in your relationship, it's a losing battle, no matter how much you both try to hold on to it. An honest and level-headed discussion is the only thing that can save your relationship at this point.

Best wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2023Hindi
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Hi Ravi, I am currently in relationship of almost 7 years but after the COVID there was some conflict or no contact with my partner just because of a scenario. I always used to order some food for her at his flat. Let me clear one things we were in a long term relationship that time. So I ordered food and she got the order then called me in the night with a different voice tone, I said yes then It felt odd. Then she said someone is here I will call you back. Then she didn't so I called her after 2 hour she rejected and after sometime messaged me on whatsapp that deleted everything our chats and conversation because she caught by his brother (who is 10 years older than her), she told me to not contact her she will call or message only. I got scared I deleted all chats because her brother is so rude and arrogant. After 10 days she called me and said we are not going further with this relationship now on we will not be in touch, I was devastated by listening these things so I tried my best to make her understand that I will talk to your parents or brother but she denied NO and said I will again talk with bro. After these scenario she tried not to contact me and I kept trying to reach out to her via messanger because she has blocked me from everywhere. I cried alot in first 2 month then I started to link all those things that she said and try to find out the matter ( note - she got lot of friends) so I found that she in her flat then I got the tickets and go there to see what is happening I waited for the whole day then in the evening I go upstairs and open the doors, she got scared h and stunned by seeing me and I saw a guy in the flat they having hookah then I said give me my stuff and ask her to talk for the final tine 10 min downstairs. She said not now then didn't came. I took my stuff nd leave the next day I tried to over come this situation nd reaching out to his bro but didn't get connected. She also called me the next day nd her frnd but I was not able to talk. After we got disconnected for sometime. And I am a person who always wanted to know the truth behind the things because I can't live with these traumas in my mind so I tried contacting her asked lot of time why did you do that nd all but kept denying that he is just a friend. After sometime on day she came with sone massages nd saying my mom is not good nd there is nothing going well in my house plss sorry nd all so I took it normally but after sometime we got attracted again little bit then realise that we can try atleast once to be together. I know she loves me but I don't like her priorities she always put his frnds over me. Idk what to do pls tell me the way to cop up with this thing. Also I still have in mind that she has something to tell me about that boy but not telling me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it must be for you; I get that you are considering giving it another shot, but please be careful. If there is any doubt, anything at all, do address that right now before you are knee-deep in the relationship again. I suggest you tell your partner to first sit and clear out everything that happened before you two broke up and explain how you need a clean slate and for that, you have to know the truth.

If you suspect cheating in the past breakup, be cautious about getting back together and thinking it through. Do you want to patch things up because you love her or is the idea of being together again more comfortable than the idea of having to move on? We go back to the same person, even if it's toxic for us because there's comfort in familiarity, not because it's the best choice. It's time for introspection. Also, don't feel guilty about saying no to getting back together if it's not the right decision for you. Whether it was family issues or infidelity, she chose what seemed best for her at the time, and it's okay for you to do the same.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2024

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Thanks Madam, for ur prompt advice. I would like to further ask a question on my subject. I understood that the female with whom I am having an affair has been hiding some of her banking transactions with me I asked her about the same but she said that there is nothing as such. . So i took her bank statement of last six months and came to know that she was playing some online games and had almost lost around 10k, So I asked her on this issue. She has got wild on me as to how could I take the bank statement without her knowledge and has stopped talking to me and has blocked my number. I dont think it was a mistake on my part of checking her account as I had a doubt and that proved true. Even then I pleaded to her and accepted that it was my mistake for tracking her account without informing her and also assured that it wont be repeated. But still she is very adamant and not ready to talk to me. So madam how do i convince her and get her back.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Surely you have the right to know where your money is being spent.
In fact, you could have told her upfront that you want to know what is happening with the money that you give her. Is it being used for household expenses? But it seems the lady has caught fancy with some online games.
Obviously, you don't trust her and that is the reason that you went behind her back to check on the money. And then you go ahead and apologize.
You have only given her a message that whatever she does with you or your money is fine. Do you need any more proof? Focus on your life better rather than jumping into relationships. Convince to get a lady back who has been hiding things from you? Do you not see how this is slowly turning against you? Hopefully, someday you will realize...
Stop and think and make the right decision...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Get me some clearity on HDFC BALANCED ADVANTAGE FUND as from last few days my portfolio is going in negative
Ans: Understanding Balanced Advantage Funds

Balanced Advantage Funds invest in both equity and debt. They adjust their investments based on market conditions. This flexibility helps manage risk and aim for steady returns.

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It's natural to feel concerned when your portfolio shows negative returns. Remember, short-term declines are common in investments. Balanced Advantage Funds aim to reduce risk by adjusting their investments. This strategy helps manage market ups and downs.

Factors Influencing Performance

Several elements can affect your fund's performance:

Market Volatility: Changes in the market can impact returns.

Asset Allocation: The mix of equity and debt plays a role.

Interest Rate Changes: Fluctuations can influence debt investments.

Economic Indicators: Factors like inflation and GDP growth are important.

Evaluating Fund Performance

To assess your fund's performance:

Compare with Benchmarks: See how it measures up against standard indices.

Review Historical Returns: Look at past performance over different periods.

Consider Risk-Adjusted Returns: Evaluate returns in relation to the risk taken.

Staying the Course

It's commendable to stay focused on your long-term goals. Short-term market changes shouldn't deter your investment strategy. Maintaining discipline is key to achieving financial objectives.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner

For personalized advice, consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner. They can provide guidance tailored to your financial situation.

Final Thoughts

Market fluctuations are a part of investing. Balanced Advantage Funds are designed to manage these ups and downs. Staying informed and patient can help you reach your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Hello, my mother is 62 year old pensioner. She has invested funds in government securities and postal schemes. Despite submitting 15H form and filing ITR (as a senior citizen person), her tax is getting deducted. Can you kindly explain why this is happening?
Ans: There are a few possible reasons why TDS (Tax Deducted at Source) is being deducted from your mother's investments, despite submitting Form 15H and filing ITR.

1. Incorrect or Late Submission of Form 15H
Form 15H must be submitted at the start of the financial year to all institutions where she has investments.
If submitted after TDS is deducted, it won’t apply retrospectively to recover the deducted tax.
Ensure the form is submitted separately to each bank, post office, or financial institution.
2. Exceeding the Basic Exemption Limit
For senior citizens (60+ years), income up to Rs. 3 lakhs is tax-free.
If her total taxable income (pension + interest from investments) exceeds Rs. 3 lakhs, TDS will still apply.
Even if TDS is deducted, she can claim a refund while filing her ITR if her total tax liability is zero.
3. Form 15H Validity Rules
Form 15H is only valid if total taxable income is below the exemption limit.
If her total income is more than Rs. 3 lakhs, banks and post offices will ignore Form 15H and deduct TDS.
4. Different TDS Thresholds for Investments
Banks deduct TDS on FD interest if it exceeds Rs. 50,000 per year for senior citizens.
Post Office schemes (like SCSS) deduct TDS if interest crosses Rs. 50,000 per year.
Government securities may also have TDS rules based on the issuing authority.
5. PAN Not Updated with the Bank/Post Office
If PAN is not linked to the investment accounts, higher TDS at 20% is deducted.
Ensure all investments have PAN updated to avoid excess TDS.
6. Errors in Tax Deduction System
Sometimes, banks deduct TDS even if Form 15H is submitted correctly.
In such cases, she can file an ITR and claim a refund from the Income Tax Department.
What to Do Now?
Check total taxable income to confirm if she qualifies for Form 15H.
Verify all Form 15H submissions with banks and post offices.
Ensure PAN is updated in all financial institutions.
If TDS is wrongly deducted, file an ITR and claim a refund.
Would you like help with checking if she is eligible for a refund?

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7837 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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My son is a Singapore citizen. He has a flat in his name in Co-op. Hous. Soc. in Navi Mumbai purchased in 2005. He wants to sell it. Will you please suggest ways to repatriate the proceeds with least tax implications?
Ans: Selling property in India as a non-resident involves several steps. It's important to follow these steps to ensure compliance with Indian laws and to minimize tax liabilities. Here's a detailed guide to assist your son:

1. Understanding Capital Gains Tax

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG): Since the property was purchased in 2005 and is being sold now, it qualifies as a long-term asset. LTCG is taxed at 20% for non-resident Indians (NRIs).

Indexation Benefit: This benefit adjusts the purchase price for inflation, reducing taxable gains.

2. Tax Deducted at Source (TDS) Obligations

TDS Rate: The buyer must deduct TDS at 20% on LTCG for NRIs. Ensure the buyer complies with this requirement.

3. Repatriation of Sale Proceeds

NRO Account: Deposit the sale proceeds into a Non-Resident Ordinary (NRO) account.

Repatriation Limit: NRIs can repatriate up to USD 1 million per financial year from their NRO account, provided all taxes are paid.

4. Documentation for Repatriation

Tax Clearance: Obtain a certificate from a Chartered Accountant in Form 15CB.

Bank Procedures: Submit Form 15CA to the bank. These forms confirm that taxes have been paid.

5. Tax Exemptions to Reduce Liability

Section 54: Invest LTCG in another residential property in India within specified timelines to claim exemption.

Section 54EC: Invest in specified bonds within six months of sale to avail exemption. The maximum investment limit is Rs 50 lakhs.

6. Currency Exchange Considerations

Exchange Rate: The prevailing exchange rate at the time of repatriation will apply.

Bank Charges: Be aware of potential charges during the transfer process.

7. Professional Consultation

Certified Financial Planner: Consult a Certified Financial Planner to navigate the complexities of taxation and repatriation.

By following these steps, your son can efficiently manage the sale and repatriation process, ensuring compliance and minimizing tax liabilities.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 24, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I have been married for more than 3 weeks. And I don't like my husband. I didn't like him before the marriage and it was very clear to my family tht I didn't like him. But my parents forced me to get married to him and it was my fault tht I couldn't prioritise my feelings. I considered what would happen to them if I called off the engagement. And after being married I have been more than depressed. My parents keeps telling what I should do. I don't let him touch me since I don't like him I asked him for some time and on the 2nd day he made a huge issue in my family telling them that I don't let him touch me. I started to resent him after this. Everyone around me keeps on telling Me that he will go abroad in 2 weeks so I should do whatever a wife does. it's been 3 weeks and continuous arguments. I'm so sad. I'm scared of what would happen if I leave this marriage. I can't stay in my own family because they would treat me so bad. I would have to stay alone. Thinking about the uncertain future and consequences am not able to do anything. Am stuck in this miserable situation.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
For sure, it's difficult to be physically intimate with someone that you do not fancy and he is being silly in making this public. Rather than winning you over, he's making it a public issue to gain sympathy which his highly immature.
Now, I am going to give you an example that you may not like.
Eg: You have to live in Japan for 2 years and you do not like that cuisine. But eventually you realize that 2 years is a long time and then you actually start enjoying the food by looking at what's nice in it; healthy, light, good on the heart etc.

It's the same here. You may have gotten forced into the marriage. But it's just 3 weeks. Give it time...NO, you do not have to engage in any physical intimacy with him right away; but at least try to get to know him...maybe someday you might start to appreciate his good qualities, yeah? See, if this is possible in the short time that you have...it's just about having an open mind. Marriages are easy to break, think hard on this one.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1494 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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