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Girlfriend Broke Up With Me For Contacting My Ex: Can I Fix It?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |543 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 29, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi
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Hi, my girlfriend stocks my ex social accounts due to some trust issues given by me ,after many attempts of saying that please stop stocking her because at the end it came to a fight so I decided to take a step and I contacted my ex with one of my friends help and ask her to please block my girlfriend account from you social platforms so that we can live a happy life together. But this thing was out from my mouth that I have done this to protect our relationship later few days when she comes to know that she is blocked and now she has broken up with me for making her disrespect and low confidence. What should I do to save my relationship as I have take this step to just work the things btw us.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you have given her reasons to distrust you but do you think a relationship can work without trust? Whatever you have done to cause this, if the both of you have decided to set it aside and move forward, then this constant stalking isn't right on her part. A healthy relationship focuses on the present and future, not the past. Give her a moment to cool down and once the time is right, you can contact her again and have a clear discussion with her about the same. But more importantly, I'd suggest you think long and hard before you put in effort to make things right.

Reconsidering the relationship might be good for both your mental health. Even if you two decide to patch things up, there is only one right approach to any relationship- she will trust you, and you will never break it again. That's the only way this relationship can work. This is merely a suggestion. Please reflect on it before you rush to any decision.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |543 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2023

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I have a girlfriend.. And i proposed a girl for fun i dont have any feelings on her.. Shes my friend and even she knows we are in a relation.. And another.. My girl has some issues with her friends.. They were planning to beat.. Or scold then i stood beside.. Not let them to hit but daid to speak to her.. She got insulted there.. Now my girlfriend broke up saying these reasons.. What should i do ?
Ans: Dear Srujan,

Your intentions might not be tainted but put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes, and don't think from your perspective. Think of hers. You might have been okay if the roles were reversed, but can't say the same for most people. Jealousy is a green-eyed monster, but for some instances, it is justified; not right, but understandable. You proposing to another girl might have been a joke for you, but it hurt your GF. The only thing you can do here is to explain the situation and apologize for making her feel this way, even though it wasn't your intention.

For your second issue, I'd say it was good thinking on your part not to get too involved and yet be there for your girlfriend and stop her friends from resorting to violence. If that has insulted your partner, you can try clarifying your intent, and if she still does not want to pay heed to your side of the story, you don't owe her any more explanation for this particular issue.

If you don't have trust and understanding in your relationship, it's a losing battle, no matter how much you both try to hold on to it. An honest and level-headed discussion is the only thing that can save your relationship at this point.

Best wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |543 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2023Hindi
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Hi Ravi, I am currently in relationship of almost 7 years but after the COVID there was some conflict or no contact with my partner just because of a scenario. I always used to order some food for her at his flat. Let me clear one things we were in a long term relationship that time. So I ordered food and she got the order then called me in the night with a different voice tone, I said yes then It felt odd. Then she said someone is here I will call you back. Then she didn't so I called her after 2 hour she rejected and after sometime messaged me on whatsapp that deleted everything our chats and conversation because she caught by his brother (who is 10 years older than her), she told me to not contact her she will call or message only. I got scared I deleted all chats because her brother is so rude and arrogant. After 10 days she called me and said we are not going further with this relationship now on we will not be in touch, I was devastated by listening these things so I tried my best to make her understand that I will talk to your parents or brother but she denied NO and said I will again talk with bro. After these scenario she tried not to contact me and I kept trying to reach out to her via messanger because she has blocked me from everywhere. I cried alot in first 2 month then I started to link all those things that she said and try to find out the matter ( note - she got lot of friends) so I found that she in her flat then I got the tickets and go there to see what is happening I waited for the whole day then in the evening I go upstairs and open the doors, she got scared h and stunned by seeing me and I saw a guy in the flat they having hookah then I said give me my stuff and ask her to talk for the final tine 10 min downstairs. She said not now then didn't came. I took my stuff nd leave the next day I tried to over come this situation nd reaching out to his bro but didn't get connected. She also called me the next day nd her frnd but I was not able to talk. After we got disconnected for sometime. And I am a person who always wanted to know the truth behind the things because I can't live with these traumas in my mind so I tried contacting her asked lot of time why did you do that nd all but kept denying that he is just a friend. After sometime on day she came with sone massages nd saying my mom is not good nd there is nothing going well in my house plss sorry nd all so I took it normally but after sometime we got attracted again little bit then realise that we can try atleast once to be together. I know she loves me but I don't like her priorities she always put his frnds over me. Idk what to do pls tell me the way to cop up with this thing. Also I still have in mind that she has something to tell me about that boy but not telling me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it must be for you; I get that you are considering giving it another shot, but please be careful. If there is any doubt, anything at all, do address that right now before you are knee-deep in the relationship again. I suggest you tell your partner to first sit and clear out everything that happened before you two broke up and explain how you need a clean slate and for that, you have to know the truth.

If you suspect cheating in the past breakup, be cautious about getting back together and thinking it through. Do you want to patch things up because you love her or is the idea of being together again more comfortable than the idea of having to move on? We go back to the same person, even if it's toxic for us because there's comfort in familiarity, not because it's the best choice. It's time for introspection. Also, don't feel guilty about saying no to getting back together if it's not the right decision for you. Whether it was family issues or infidelity, she chose what seemed best for her at the time, and it's okay for you to do the same.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2024

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Thanks Madam, for ur prompt advice. I would like to further ask a question on my subject. I understood that the female with whom I am having an affair has been hiding some of her banking transactions with me I asked her about the same but she said that there is nothing as such. . So i took her bank statement of last six months and came to know that she was playing some online games and had almost lost around 10k, So I asked her on this issue. She has got wild on me as to how could I take the bank statement without her knowledge and has stopped talking to me and has blocked my number. I dont think it was a mistake on my part of checking her account as I had a doubt and that proved true. Even then I pleaded to her and accepted that it was my mistake for tracking her account without informing her and also assured that it wont be repeated. But still she is very adamant and not ready to talk to me. So madam how do i convince her and get her back.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Surely you have the right to know where your money is being spent.
In fact, you could have told her upfront that you want to know what is happening with the money that you give her. Is it being used for household expenses? But it seems the lady has caught fancy with some online games.
Obviously, you don't trust her and that is the reason that you went behind her back to check on the money. And then you go ahead and apologize.
You have only given her a message that whatever she does with you or your money is fine. Do you need any more proof? Focus on your life better rather than jumping into relationships. Convince to get a lady back who has been hiding things from you? Do you not see how this is slowly turning against you? Hopefully, someday you will realize...
Stop and think and make the right decision...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |148 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Mar 09, 2025

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hi maam im 24 years old im from mumbai im in love with a guy who is from hyd and he is 28 years old we have been together since 1 year when i was in hyd he did many things which hurt me like falsely accusing me of cheating with my collegues who are elder to me coming to my office and fighting over there calling me nd abusing me but i let go off everything he did with me and he did many more things later we started to b in a long distance relationship he use to always say lets b good with eachother from now and lets forget our past but since the tym we r in long distance still he always accuse me of cheating and lying even when im saying the truth i never cheated on him even once and never even thought about it but he always accuse me of cheating always and everyday and since some days he is always behaving hot and cold with me im not able to understand anything this last sun he called me but i didnt lift the call due to some issues in my house so i called him the next day and he started to accuse me of cheating and lying when i was telling the truth i wanna leave him and move on but when ever i leave he comes back again he leaves me again he comes back im not able to understand what should i do now
Ans: you are in duress. a relationship as defined by you is not worth being in one. please break off, block him from all our touchpoints - social media/ phone etc...if need be change your phone number. heal yourself, focus on your self, become financially independent, feel good about yourself before you find your person.

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