My friend who is 38 is unable to find a good partner to get married. She earns well, is well settled and is looking for a boy who can spend his future with her keeping her interests and goals in mind. However, most guys she's met either want an educated girl to look after his parents or want someone who will quit her job to raise a family. Is she wrong to have basic expectations and dreams from her future partner?

Ans:

Dear SL,

So, you want to have a relationship with a man who doesn’t want to take on the responsibility of supporting himself; let alone supporting anyone else? And also, finger points and makes you feel guilty for doing well professionally.

So, how much longer before you realize that unless he makes drastic changes and acts like a grown up. There is no guarantee when he is going to move from this childish behaviour.

Short and sweet suggestion; see red flags in a relationship when they appear.

In your case they are: Making you feel guilty for doing well professionally and not being serious about growing up and getting a job to fend for himself.

So, decide whether by marrying him, you will be his caregiver (mother figure who teaches him the value of a job and money) or will you ever get a chance to be his wife. The decision is yours.

Do the right thing for yourself.

All the best!

Ans: It sounds like you and your partner are going through a difficult time right now. It can be challenging to navigate complex emotions and make decisions that impact our lives and relationships. As a life coach, here are some suggestions that may help:

Encourage open communication: Encourage your partner to share her thoughts and feelings with you openly and honestly. This can help you both better understand each other's perspective and work towards a solution together.

Focus on the present moment: It's natural to feel anxious about the future, especially when it comes to making big life decisions like marriage. However, it's important to focus on the present moment and take things one step at a time.

Consider pre-marital counseling: Pre-marital counseling can be a great way for couples to work through any concerns or issues they may have before tying the knot. It can help you both better understand each other's needs and expectations and build a strong foundation for your relationship.

Seek professional advice: If your partner is struggling with negative thoughts or anxiety, it may be helpful for her to seek professional advice from a psychologist or therapist. They can provide tools and strategies for managing anxiety and developing a more positive mindset.

Be patient and supportive: Making big life decisions can be stressful and emotionally taxing, so it's important to be patient and supportive of each other during this process. Remember that a strong and healthy relationship requires open communication, understanding, and mutual respect.

Remember, life coaching is a process that takes time and effort, but it can be incredibly rewarding. Be sure to approach each step of the process with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to learn and grow together.

Ans: Ask her to work on being financially or economically independent - doing this will help both of you is the suggestion I have for your relationship - all the best.

Ans: Dear Kishor,
There is no point getting into a relationship with anyone if they are not convinced or interested. And marriage is out of the question. Even if the boy tried it, the girl is never going to be happy with him or in the marriage.
Marriage is trust, love, honesty and most importantly understanding.
What understanding will a person have if he/she is not interested in that marriage?
So, no point in the boy marrying a girl who is not interested for good relation or any other reason.

All the best!

Ans: It's perfectly okay to have different desires and preferences when it comes to relationships and marriage. People have diverse perspectives on these matters, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to life. What matters most is that you understand and accept your feelings and choices.

If you feel content and happy with your non-married life and prefer to live independently without making adjustments for a partner, that is entirely valid. Some individuals find fulfillment and satisfaction in singlehood, and that is absolutely fine. Not everyone feels the need to pursue romantic relationships or marriage, and that doesn't make you any less of a person.

However, if you occasionally feel lonely and desire love and companionship, that is also natural. It's okay to have moments of vulnerability and longing for emotional connection. You can explore ways to address these feelings without necessarily committing to a traditional romantic relationship or marriage. For example, you might consider building strong friendships or participating in social activities that allow you to connect with others on a meaningful level.

Ultimately, what matters most is that you embrace and understand yourself and your feelings. If you find contentment and fulfillment in your current lifestyle, there is no need to feel pressured to conform to societal expectations. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, regardless of external opinions or suggestions.

If you ever feel overwhelmed or conflicted about your feelings, talking to a counselor or therapist can be beneficial. They can provide a safe space for you to explore your thoughts and emotions and help you gain clarity about what you truly want in life.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to approach relationships or marriage. Each person's journey is unique, and the key is to be true to yourself and make choices that align with your values and bring you happiness.