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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |567 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 03, 2025
Relationship

Hi,i am a female,i have had a lot of sexual intercourse before, and now I'm dating a guy who is a virgin,i told him the truth and he accepted me and we are in our second year of dating, i still can't get rid of the guilt i have for not being able to give him my virginity,what hurts me the most is, when my exes see and know about my boyfriend and me,they will laugh at him for dating someone like me, someone they once fucked,what should i do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I get that it's tricky but you have to understand that it's all in your head. Your exes might not even care, or even if they do, it does not matter. Your present partner doesn't have an issue with your past, and neither should you. What you are concerned about is a mere social construct. So every time you feel this way, make yourself understand that there's nothing to be guilty about.
Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |567 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 28, 2024
Relationship
I love my boyfriend very much but the thing is i am not a virgin and my boyfriend doesn’t know that , he thinks i am a virgin and he wants me to be virgin only , i am completely loyal to him I don’t have any type of contact from my ex boyfriend and i really want to marry my boyfriend and live a healthy and loyal life , my boyfriend doesn’t like lies but i really can’t tell him the truth as it will affect my relationship which i don’t want to happen, he will come to know that i am not a virgin but the main problem is my ex bf what if he comes in my life again and tries to spoil my relationship by telling my bf the truth? And i really don’t want this to happen what should i do? I myself don’t want to loe to my bf but this is the thing i really can’t tell him it will break my relationship and other than this there is nothing that i lied i am just afraid what if my ex blackmails me and when my bf comes to know and he will be heartbroken i don’t want to break his trust
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that your virginity is important to him and you should not have kept this from him, but do you understand that your virginity is your choice? Why does he have a say in it? He is your partner- he loves you, but he doesn't own you. And what you did in your past is not something he can judge you by; why should that affect your relationship? I know that you love him but it's better to tell him the truth and accept the outcome than to keep lying and feel guilty about something you should not even be worrying about.

I am sure he has many great qualities but being so concerned about your virginity seems a little concerning. You are a person with so many other attributes. Why would he ignore all of that and care only about something that you have no control over? I suggest you tell him, but please remember, no matter what he says, you are not at fault here. It's in your past, a time when he did not exist for you.

Best Wishes

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Latest Questions
Janak

Janak Patel  |26 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 09, 2025

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Money
One fincart advisor contacted me for giving me advise regarding mutual funds and investment of sector is fincart a good company or not to invest
Ans: Hi Sammer,

An adviser/company to be categories as good or not is a bit subjective. I say this because you may find people who have had a good experience with them and those who did not have a good one.

But let me try to help you with some pointers that can help you decide
1. Before asking what they can offer you, ask them - "What do you gain by becoming my advisor?" Their response will give you insight into their objectives. If its not clearly stated, then consider it a RED flag.
2. Are they going to advise based on your preferences or they have a selected list that you need to choose from. I have heard of adviser pushing different products without considering your preferences e.g. You prefer MF and they push ULIP, Regular MF vs Direct MF etc. This can include cross selling other products that they are servicing like insurance and pension products.
3. Inquire about their process of engagement before advising you. Will they consider your requirements and evaluate them and present options to choose or start by putting the options on table and recommending MFs without understanding your goals/requirements. Simple ask, so which is the best MF scheme to invest today. If they start listing them - RED flag.
4. How will they construct a portfolio for you, structure and number of schemes in it, will it have a strategy and objective to it. Or will they keep building it over time by adding new schemes as and when. A person once came to me with a portfolio of approx. 30 lakhs with over 30 MF schemes in it - RED flag. Going beyond 5-6 schemes needs to be reviewed thoroughly.
5. What are their processes for reviewing the performance of the portfolio/schemes and how do they provide recommendation for changes in the portfolio. Will they take into account tax impacts when recommending exits.
6. Will they aim to educate you in this whole process about various aspects so as to establish and enhance their engagement, trust and your own confidence in them.
7. Most important - Will it be a fee based engagement or a commission based. Typically fee based engagements should encourage customer's preferences e.g Direct MF, using client's Demat account etc and provide recommendations for customers requirement with alternatives and options. Even when you change a recommendation, they should educate you on its impact and recommend alternative to mitigate the impact. Commission based engagements are based on their earnings from your investment. Some times their approach is to add schemes based on commissions. But there are good advisors who will stay the course of a well constructed portfolio even in this model, having the customers interest at heart.

So do your own assessment of any advisor you engage with based on the above. You can add more points of evaluation based on your own experience and knowledge.
Remember Simple strategies are more often successful.

Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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