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Dating a girl of different caste and my parents' expectations

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |446 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 02, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am dating a girl since 9 years, she belongs to same religion but lower caste, also she is very modern in dressings & my family is very orthodox, it took me 3 years to convince my mom & dad to consider for a meeting, after the meeting my Mom asked her to follow all the family rituals & also demanded her to sacrifice western clothes & will have to wear Indian attire only.My gf & her family are not happy with the demands ,There are many conflicts happening in my life as both of them aren’t ready to compromise, I am going into depression, I don’t want to get married , keeping my Mom & Dad unhappy also I can’t leave her.Please help!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it can cause a lot of guilt to go against your parents but in situations like these, logic and reasoning work the best. For instance, what your parents are demanding from your partner- adjusting to their lifestyle, bending to their rules, changing her dressing style to match their expectations- are these reasonable and logical demands, or are these self-centered demands? Take some time to reflect on it. It can help you gain some clarity.

In the end, even if you think that one party is right or wrong, it does not necessarily mean that you have to openly take their side. But understanding what's right and what's not will help you indirectly. Mark my words.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1350 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu We are In a relationship for 7 years and in my family they have accepted her as she frequently visits my home and meet my family members .She was trying for the past 2 years to convince her father but now her father is not even listening about our relationship and her mother though likes me doesn’t want to go against her husband . Her father said her that he wont be the part of her marriage and her life if she marries me .As a result my lady doesn’t want to go against her parents and be with me . Though she can’t live without me but she doesn’t want to hurt her parents and for that she is ready to leave me and go as per her parents and marry someone else.she has accepted that , her life will be hell as well as the person she will be marrying .Kindly suggest me what to do coz i cant imagine my life without her .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes the reason for someone not liking you maybe a silly one.
Maybe her father wanted to find a boy for your lady or he wanted time to get to know the person. Try and find out from her what exactly bothers her father about you or the marriage. It can be frustrating to dig into this BUT hey, do what you have to, to make the relationship work, yeah?
A humble attempt in that direction where her father can see you for who you are and understand why his daughter actually loves you might go a long way not in just his acceptance in you but also pave the way for a better connection between him and you.
And oh, ask you lady not to give up...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dietician, Lifestyle, Nutrition Expert - Answered on Dec 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2024Hindi
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Hello, lot I have heard about decaf coffee, so please asking 2 question - What potential health benefits are associated with drinking decaf coffee, particularly regarding diabetes, heart health, and mental well-being? How does individual tolerance to caffeine influence the choice between regular and decaf coffee for maintaining overall health?
Ans: Hello,

Decaf coffee contains significantly lower caffeine compared to regular coffee. However decaf coffee retains antioxidants and certain bioactive compounds that are beneficial for health. For Diabete, both decaf and regular coffee have shown to improve glucose metabolism. However when it comes to heart health, decaf can be a better choice. Since caffeine is known to spike blood pressure. If you are sensitive to caffeine, which means you experience jitters, anxiety after consumption, then decaf is a gentle alternative.

The choice depends on the following:
Caffeine sensitivity: if you experience anxiety, palpitations, restlessness, sleep disturbances, etc. after consuming regular coffee. In such case, decaf can be a better alternative.

Specific conditions: high blood pressure, irregular heart beats (arrhythmia), insomnia, acidity, etc. then a decaf would be a better choice.

To conclude, both decaf and regular coffee offer health benefits but to choose wisely basis the points suggested above. Decaf coffee allows individuals to enjoy coffee’s antioxidant and disease-fighting properties with less risk of caffeine-related side effects.

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1079 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 02, 2024

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Studied bsc nursing from govt. college of nursing. Feel stuck to take the next step.. Whether to do higher education or work. Currently work as an intern but on medical leave due to health issue
Ans: Hello Joshni
You’re at a crossroads between pursuing higher education or starting full-time work after completing BSc Nursing. Prioritize your health first, as it’s crucial for any next step. It is suggested to go with higher education like MSc Nursing, Healthcare Management etc. which has long-term career growth and better roles. But it requires time, money, and focus! At least you follow some simple tips: (1) Work part-time and study online or on weekends. (2) Look for employer-sponsored education programs. (3) Use this time to explore career interests, job roles, or courses. Remember that, you are capable, resilient, and destined for greatness.
Best of luck for your upcoming bright future.
If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |446 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Since my College days, I had a Crush on a Classmate, who was the most Attractive & Vivacious Girl, in our College, Infamous as 'Drama Queen'. But she has a very Bad Track Record of Dating the 'Bad Boy' type Guys. She had gone through several Toxic Relationships with the 'Bad Guys' (including some of our Seniors) & everyone in our College used to gossip about her Notorious Relationships & she seemed to enjoy the attention which she used to get, even while she made a scene by Crying after every Break-up. I had always been a Conventional 'Good Boy' & hence, I'd been Friend-Zoned by her. I always used to support her Emotionally, after every Break-up, while indirectly expressing my Desire to get into a stable Relationship with her. But after recovering from every Break-up, she'd get into a Rebound Relationship with a similar 'Bad Guy' & I was confined to the Friend-zone. After College, we both have been working in the same Workplace & being her Colleague, I am aware of her Notorious Reputation at the Workplace. She got into many Casual Relationships, Hook-ups, One-Night-Stands etc with many Colleagues (including her Boss), while I continued being her 'Emotional Support Friend'. Now that she's grown Older & Wiser, she feels the need to get Married to a 'Decent Guy' & settle down to a Familial Life. She has been expressing interest in Marrying me, as she'd always known me to be a Decent Guy, a Reliable & Supportive Friend who's also Financially stable & she expects me to be an Understanding Partner, who knows all about her Past, yet wouldn't Judge her for it. I am emotionally connected with her, as I've known her inside out, but I am sceptical about getting Married to her. Whether I can Trust her to be a Loyal Wife, after Marriage? Should I give her the Benefit of Doubt? I am afraid that she might Cheat on me with another 'Bad Guy' & our Married Life might also become Toxic like her Relationships. Would it be Wrong on my part, if I gently decline her, Judging her, mainly on the basis of her Past?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, I would need a little more detail about your relationship with your husband and why you are seeking romantic feelings outside your marriage to make any comments or suggestions. But, from a general perspective, I would recommend you focus on what's lacking in your marriage and fix it- maybe, see a marriage counselor. Plus, you mentioned having feelings for this colleague but never mentioned if he feels the same way. If not, why would you confess your feelings to him and create even the minimum chaos in his otherwise happy marriage? Again, from a general perspective, the entire thing sounds like a bad plan.

Hope this helps.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7192 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2024Hindi
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Money
Asset allocation for investment of 1 cr for 10 years?
Ans: Investing Rs 1 crore with a 10-year horizon demands careful planning. The objective should balance growth, stability, and tax efficiency. Below is a detailed approach to achieve financial goals effectively.

1. Understanding Investment Goals and Risk Appetite
Define clear goals: retirement, child's education, or wealth creation.
Assess your risk tolerance: low, moderate, or high.
Longer time horizons favour equity for higher returns.
2. Diversified Asset Allocation Strategy
Equity Allocation for Growth
Allocate 60-70% of your portfolio to equity mutual funds.
Choose actively managed funds for potential outperformance.
Equity funds can include large-cap, mid-cap, and multicap funds.
They offer high growth potential but require long-term commitment.
Debt Allocation for Stability
Allocate 20-30% of your portfolio to debt instruments.
Invest in debt mutual funds or bonds for consistent returns.
Debt instruments reduce portfolio volatility and offer liquidity.
Taxation for debt funds aligns with your income tax slab.
Gold for Hedge and Diversification
Allocate 5-10% to gold as a hedge against inflation.
Consider gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds for better liquidity.
Avoid physical gold due to storage and purity concerns.
Liquid Funds for Emergencies
Keep 5-10% of the portfolio in liquid funds.
Liquid funds ensure quick access during financial emergencies.
They offer better returns than savings accounts and are tax-efficient.
3. Tax Efficiency in Investment Choices
Equity mutual funds taxed at 12.5% LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh.
Debt funds taxed as per your income tax slab.
Plan withdrawals to optimise tax liabilities.
Actively managed funds can adapt to market changes better.
4. Insurance Policies and Existing Investments
If you hold LIC or ULIPs, consider their performance critically.
Traditional insurance policies may offer suboptimal returns.
Surrender poorly performing policies and reinvest in mutual funds.
Avoid mixing insurance with investment; focus on term insurance.
5. Benefits of Investing Through a Certified Financial Planner
Regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) have multiple benefits.
MFDs provide ongoing guidance and expertise.
They assist in reviewing and rebalancing your portfolio.
Regular funds support your financial journey with holistic solutions.
6. Evaluating Risks and Returns
Understand market risks, especially in equity investments.
Debt investments carry reinvestment and credit risks.
Gold prices may fluctuate due to global market conditions.
Regular monitoring and adjustments can mitigate risks.
7. Avoid Common Investment Pitfalls
Avoid direct funds unless you have deep market knowledge.
Index funds limit potential returns in comparison to active funds.
Do not invest in instruments solely for tax benefits.
Avoid timing the market; stay disciplined for consistent growth.
8. Regular Monitoring and Portfolio Rebalancing
Review your portfolio semi-annually or annually.
Rebalance to maintain the original asset allocation.
Shift between asset classes based on market performance.
Adapt the strategy to meet changing financial goals.
9. Emergency and Liquidity Planning
Set aside 6-12 months of expenses in liquid investments.
Avoid locking all funds in long-term products.
Maintain liquidity to manage unexpected situations.
10. Benefits of a Structured Approach
Long-term growth with controlled risks.
Tax-efficient portfolio optimises returns.
Diversification safeguards against market fluctuations.
Clear goal-setting ensures alignment with financial aspirations.
11. Insights on Wealth Creation Mindset
Stay patient and focus on long-term compounding.
Stick to your plan during market ups and downs.
Avoid emotional decisions and focus on data-driven strategies.
Consistent investments will help build significant wealth.
Finally
Investing Rs 1 crore over 10 years can transform your financial future. An optimal mix of equity, debt, and gold will achieve growth and stability. Regular monitoring, rebalancing, and tax planning will enhance results. Consult a Certified Financial Planner for tailored guidance. Your disciplined efforts today will secure financial freedom tomorrow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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