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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |224 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I have my crush in class 11 and now I miss her as I done bad with her but actually nothing like happened but I blaming myself in wrong way,guru what I do ?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

People make mistakes, especially when they are young. It is great that you realized yours. There is nothing much you can do about the past. You can't change it, but you can make an effort to never repeat the same mistakes. As for missing her, that is momentary. It will happen for a while, and then pass with time. If you have done something wrong with her and feel guilty about it, the best thing to do is apologize. If she doesn't seem interested in your apology, then do not bother her to shrug off the burden from your shoulders. It's your burden and yours only to carry. Try to forgive yourself and work toward being a better person. That's all you can do.

Now, in case you think you are blaming yourself for no reason, half of your problems are resolved. You already understand that this blaming is absurd. Introspect. Think about what went wrong and if you were part of it. In either case, you have to learn to forgive yourself. To err is to be human. But what you learn from it, makes you a better one.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |952 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 20, 2021

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Relationship
Dear Anu It's been 3 years since I had my break up with my girlfriend. We parted our ways on good terms but till date I miss her. Every time I feel like I should text her or call her but I don't I just divert myself. From past three weeks this thing is increasing I don't know what to do should I contact her or not. And I can't discuss this thing with anyone I never told my friends about this relationship and I don't want to. Please help me out ma'am tell me what should I do .
Ans: Dear Anonymous, you can do one of two things. Either call her/text her and know what she feels about your relationship and whether she considers it as one.

If she does, see how both of you can rebuild it.

If she has moved on, then it’s obvious to move on as well. Easier said than done, I know.

But if you weigh what you lose by being in a zone of misery and anxiety versus what you can do and be when you move on, I guess it’s obvious what you must choose for yourself.

Start with initially distracting yourself from the phone into things that matter.

Do simple things; any repair in the house that you have put off or any course that you have been procrastinating about.

This is the time to start deeply focusing into something that will give you a sense of achievement that will enable you to have a better feeling from within.

Slowly, start to increase the level of difficulty of these tasks and soon, though you might still remember her, it will not be through pain or anguish but more a good memory.

Start now and always make sure you are surrounded by friends who pull you when you feel that ‘down’ moment.

Do remember, there was a reason why the two of you parted.

Honour and respect that reason and move on if that’s what is necessary for your peace of mind.

My best wishes to you!

..Read more

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |224 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I am a 35-year-old woman and my husband is 45. we are made for each other couple. we love each other and we do not have any compatibility issues except in romance. he is not very romantic and even throughout my younger years I was also not very romantic and immersed myself in studies and career. He is not very active in sex also. A few years back I told him that I wanted to be romantic after marriage and now we are not, so I missed my college and early office days when I was in my prime and could have been romantically involved with guys. Since I look very young even at 35, he suggested that I still can move around with guys and get romantic and I need not miss anything even now. though initially declining the offer, I moved a little freely toward men, mostly colleagues, and a few social club members. I encouraged late-night messages, coffee meets, movies, etc. I update my husband on every single event that happens. ex, if I went to a movie with a colleague, I will message my hubby " We kissed", if that happened. he encourages me so much and is happy with whatever is happening, cutting a long story short. though I didn't think it would go so far, I am now romantically very active. soft romance-like messages I do with many. Dating I don't say no to my known circle like colleagues, ex-colleagues, college mates, etc and almost 2-3 times a week I end up dating someone in a coffee shop, pub, or a long drive. A few times I initiate a date too. and I must confess that I have regular intimacy with four young men, all from the same office where I work. I have never hidden anything from my hubby and give a complete account every day. I offered to stop everything any moment he said. but he told me till age is there enjoy life!. I am emotionally connected to my husband only and I do all my responsibilities as a woman. Our relationship has grown manifold. My only question is, am I exploiting my husband's innocence or does he have a cuckold fantasy? If I continue the way I continue with no harm to anyone, can I keep doing it ( I love to). or I should stop at once?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

After reading your question I understood that your partner and you have, what we call, an open relationship. As long as both partners are okay with the dynamics of it, and no one is emotionally hurt, or resisting, it should be okay. It isn't exploitation if your husband himself encourages you. You are both consenting adults and not harming each other or anyone else. As for your question, if he has a cuckold fantasy, that is something you should discuss with your husband. An open discussion is better than speculation. Also, at any time if you suspect that your husband is growing concerned about the nature of your relationship, ask him directly. It can help avoid misunderstandings.


Best Wishes

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |224 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir mai 28 year ki hoo mai abhi llb kar rahi hoo mai last 7 year se relationship mai hoo vo mujse 25 year bade hai saruaat 1 to 2 year inhone muje bhot priorities di ab hum 3 to 4 month mai kabhi milte hai hum dono alag alag city mai hai unki bhot badi family hai or finincially bhi problem chal rahi hai last 3 yaer se vo.muje priority nai de rahe hum.roj bat karte hai vo mera khyal bhi rakhte hai lekin muje unse ab dur nai hona mene sadi na karne ka decisions Liya hai lekin kitni bar bhot akela feel karti hoo vo muje itna time nai dete phele jaisa nai hai aisa lagta hai.fir vo ku6 help kar de ya pyar se bat bhi kar le.to.lagta hai sab theek hai mai.bhot confused hoo mai.kya karu muje kya karna chahiye ..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Dating someone older than you is not the problem, but the fact that you are making major life decisions based on what he wants and doesn't want is concerning. I am guessing that you decided to not get married because he doesn't want it either. Is that fair to you? You yourself mentioned that you often feel lonely. Don't you think you deserve better? Don't you deserve someone who would love you and would like to spend the rest of their life with you? Please reconsider this relationship. Speak to your partner and ask him what his plans are for the future. Does he want to settle down with you? How will you two continue this relationship in the future? There are many important questions that need answering. Sort them out and you will have the solution to your dilemma.


Best Wishes.

...Read more

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