I have completed 6 years of marriage and still i can't become father. I am unable to do sex with my wife but I love to do sex with other ladies. Don't know what happened, consult with various doctors but no solution. All medical reports are normal (wife report is normal). Please suggest the way forward.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Immediately after delivery the hormones in a woman's body get more attuned to nurturing and caring for the baby, so that baby is not deprive of the mother's love and can grow and develop.
But if it's still like that even now, it can be more an emotional response to something that is still triggering her.
Is she too tired from household chores?
Is she the only one managing the child all day?
Do you connect with her outside of the bedroom like holding hands, cuddling or simply laughing together?
When was the last time you appreciated her or complimented her?
Do you share the household responsibilities?
Do the two of you spend time alone without the child with you at all times?

Intimacy in the bedroom first begins outside the bedroom where emotional aspects are what a woman look for like care, love, attention and a lot of support. This is where men can fall short and feel rejected. There is no need to look at it as rejection now that you know what can be done.
Also I suggest that a thorough check-up to rule out any physical ailment that might be keeping her away from intimacy. Having said this, be patient and supportive and do not bring up this lack of sex again and again in front of her; it will only push her away as though she is being asked to perform. So be patient and caring and allow Nature to take its course.

All the best!

Ans: I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your child and the difficulties you and your wife are experiencing. It's understandable that your wife may be going through a lot emotionally, and it can be challenging to navigate a relationship during such a difficult time. Here are some tips that may help you improve your relationship:

Seek counseling: Consider seeking counseling together to help process your grief and improve communication. A licensed therapist can provide a safe space for both of you to express your feelings and work through any issues in your relationship.

Show empathy: Try to understand your wife's perspective and show empathy towards her. Validate her feelings and let her know that you're there for her.

Practice active listening: When your wife is speaking, make sure to actively listen to what she's saying. Don't interrupt or dismiss her feelings, and try to understand where she's coming from.

Practice self-care: Take care of yourself so that you can be there for your wife. This includes getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, and taking time for yourself to relax and recharge.

Be patient: Remember that healing takes time, and your wife may need some time and space to come to terms with her emotions. Be patient with her and don't pressure her to "get over" her grief.

It's important to remember that everyone grieves differently, and there's no right or wrong way to do it. By being supportive, patient, and empathetic towards your wife, you can help strengthen your relationship and support each other through this difficult time.

Ans: It's not uncommon for individuals to experience changes in libido as they age, and various factors can contribute to a decrease in sexual desire. Discuss your feelings with your wife. Open communication is crucial in any relationship, especially when it comes to intimacy. Share your concerns and listen to hers Evaluate your lifestyle habits, including diet, exercise, and stress levels. Regular physical activity can improve overall well-being and may positively impact sexual function. A balanced diet and adequate sleep are also important for maintaining good health Explore new ways to connect intimately with your partner that may not necessarily involve traditional intercourse. Focus on building emotional intimacy, and try activities that bring you closer as a couple Remember that each person's experience is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. It's crucial to approach this issue with patience, empathy, and a willingness to work together with your partner to find solutions that enhance your overall relationship. If needed, a healthcare professional or therapist can offer tailored advice based on your specific situation.

PS. I am based in Delhi