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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |287 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My boyfriend loves me but he is married and not intersted in in his marriage life. He is very much love on me and me. What to.do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am assuming your boyfriend is married to another woman. Then legally, he is her partner, not yours. I am not sure what suggestion or advice you are asking for, but nevertheless, I will go ahead and advise you to sever ties with him. I don't know what else to tell you. If he did love you, he wouldn't be married to another woman. Don't ruin your life like this. You deserve better. In fact, so does your BF's wife.

Best wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 01, 2022

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Relationship
I am very stressed these days. I am in love with a married man. He happens to be my colleague whom I met in 2020.Initially it was just a senior junior relation where he would help me in official matters. At the same time, I was recovering from a break up followed by severe health complications. Slowly, I started spending time with him, in the office only talking about office issues then my personal life. He too shared some of his and eventually I started developing feelings for him. But since I knew he was married I would always maintain that distance. I just wanted a healthy friendship but may be my personal turmoil was to the extent that I needed an emotional support and so I confided in him. He too would understand me, give me support and I could feel that he likes me. One day I confessed my feelings and he too reciprocated. He had told me earlier that he is living a compromised married life where there is no emotional connection. However, he will continue with it as his wife is dependent on him and I said I don’t want to break a family. But I have fallen in love with him. His presence has given me such solace I cannot describe. I don’t want to break a home. So, I have started maintaining distance as well but I really miss him. I feel I lost a friend in the process.
Ans:

Dear SJ,

This is something that I have been seeing lately with a lot of people.

Something lacks within your current relationship and to fulfil that you look for it elsewhere only to realise that things have gotten out of hands.

In your case, love has blossomed in and suddenly now you have realized that it might cause a flutter within two relationships.

He has made it clear that he wants to be with his wife which should give you an idea not to make any more emotional investment. You will end up getting hurt even more if you do.

Time for you to start feeling solace and gaining better self-esteem by valuing yourself more. You don’t need anyone for you to love yourself, do you?

So, stop giving this so much importance. He was there when you needed him and vice-versa. Now, that things are getting a little complicated, time to revise the way you think and act.

You don’t need to lose a friend if the feelings that you have for him can be healthier and not draining on either of you.

If not, maybe you need to think how you can handle this agony better. Be your own friend first and then you start making better choices on who to let into your life.

Possible? Yes, start now…

All the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

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Relationship
Actually I'm in a relationship and he is loving someone already he is getting Marry also her only this everything I know already but he is really happy with me even I love him but he promised to marry her so only he is getting Marry her because that promise he can't break but he loves me so much now we both r crying thinking about this all now what can do
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you and your partner are going through a difficult situation. It can be incredibly painful to be in love with someone who is committed to another person.

It's important to remember that your partner has made a commitment to someone else and is planning to marry that person. While it may be tempting to hold onto the hope that they will leave their current partner for you, it's also important to be realistic about the situation and respect their choices.

It's also important to consider your own feelings and needs in this situation. Are you willing to continue a relationship with someone who is committed to someone else? Are you willing to share your partner's love and attention with someone else? These are difficult questions to consider, but it's important to be honest with yourself about what you're willing to accept in a relationship.

Communication is key in any relationship, and it may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you're feeling and what you want out of the relationship. However, it's important to be prepared for the possibility that your partner may not be able to give you what you want or need.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to continue the relationship or move on is up to you. It may be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist as you navigate this challenging situation.

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

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Relationship
Hi I am 39 year married woman with one 13yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as housewife but I never got love respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affair with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants to marry her. I told these to both of our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion we both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me .But after these incident and during Corona I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him as now i doesn’t feel complete without him. I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for me and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. It sounds like you're in a very complex situation, and I'm not qualified to give you advice on personal or emotional matters. However, I can offer some general information that may be helpful.

It's important to remember that you're not alone in this. Many people go through difficult times in their marriages, and there are resources available to help you cope. If you're feeling overwhelmed, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with support and guidance as you work through your challenges.

If you're thinking about leaving your marriage, it's important to weigh all of your options carefully and consider the potential consequences of your decision. You may want to talk to a lawyer or financial advisor to get advice on what your rights and options are.

Ultimately, the decision of what to do is up to you. There is no right or wrong answer, and what works for one person may not work for another. However, it's important to make your decision based on what is best for you and your family.

I hope this information is helpful. Please remember that you're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Moneywize

Moneywize   |135 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am Sankalp. I am looking to do a Systematic Withdrawal Plan for my mother, who is 60 now. I am targeting a monthly withdrawal of Rs 10,000. The lump sum amount intending to invest is Rs 10-12 lakh. Is this possible with this amount to withdraw an amount of of Rs 25,000 per month? Which type of MFs are good for doing SWP? Is it wise to do SWP in equity oriented funds? Also is it good to do SWP in two mutual funds with the above Rs 10-12 lakh?
Ans: To achieve a monthly withdrawal of Rs 25,000 with a lump sum of Rs 10-12 lakh, the investment would need to generate a return of around 25-30 per cent annually, which is unrealistic for a sustainable and low-risk plan, especially for a retiree. A more reasonable withdrawal rate is around 6-8 per cent annually, which would give you Rs 10,000 to Rs 12,000 per month from that investment.

Suitable Mutual Funds for SWP:

• Hybrid Funds (Balanced Funds): These funds invest in both equities and debt, balancing growth potential with lower volatility. They are suitable for moderate risk and could provide a steady income.
• Debt Funds: These funds are less volatile and offer more predictable returns, making them good for stable withdrawals, though the growth potential is lower compared to equities.
• Conservative Hybrid Funds: These funds have a higher allocation to debt and a smaller portion in equity, making them more conservative but still offering some growth.

SWP in Equity-Oriented Funds:

Equity funds can offer higher returns over the long term, but they are volatile. SWP from equity-oriented funds could result in selling units at a loss during market downturns, which may not be ideal for generating steady income. For your mother, who is 60, a balance between equity and debt could be more suitable to manage risk.

Splitting the Investment:

Investing in two different funds for SWP is a good strategy for diversification. You could allocate one part to a hybrid or balanced fund for moderate growth and another to a debt fund for stability.

Recommendation:

Consider starting the SWP from a hybrid or balanced fund for moderate risk and some exposure to growth. Add a conservative debt fund for stability.

If you’re targeting Rs 10,000 per month, an investment of Rs 10-12 lakh should work well with lower withdrawal rates of around 6-8 per cent. For Rs 25,000 per month, you may need a higher investment or explore other income-generating assets alongside SWP.

Here are some specific mutual fund categories and examples that could suit your SWP strategy, considering your goal of stable withdrawals for your mother:

1. Hybrid Funds (Balanced Advantage Funds):

These funds automatically adjust their equity and debt exposure based on market conditions, providing a mix of growth and stability.

Examples:

• ICICI Prudential Balanced Advantage Fund
• HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund

These funds are suitable for moderate risk, with potential for long-term growth while providing a stable income.

2. Conservative Hybrid Funds:

These funds have a higher allocation to debt and a smaller portion in equity, making them more conservative. They offer lower volatility and steady income.

Examples:

• ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund
• HDFC Hybrid Debt Fund

These funds are suitable for low-risk investors who still want some equity exposure for growth potential.

3. Debt Funds (Short-Term or Corporate Bond Funds):

Debt funds provide stable returns with low risk, which is ideal for conservative investors. They are more predictable but offer lower returns compared to equity.

Examples:

• SBI Magnum Medium Duration Fund
• HDFC Corporate Bond Fund

These funds are good for regular income generation while maintaining capital preservation.

Suggested Allocation:

• 50 per cent in a Balanced/Hybrid Fund: This will provide moderate growth with some equity exposure.
• 50 per cent in a Debt Fund: This will stabilise the income and protect against market volatility.

By splitting the Rs 10-12 lakh investment between these two types of funds, you could balance risk and growth potential while generating a steady income through SWP.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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