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Anu Krishna |1378 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by Shivkant on May 10, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I want to ask sir, is marriage necessary for life? After getting a break up i have no more courage to enter in a relationship again . I am 28 year's old only. Please give me some suggestion

Ans: Dear Shivkant,
Marriage is not necessary for life. But if you wish for companionship that is based on friendship and trust, it is a nice feeling to go along with.
One failed relationship does not mean that all relationships will sour; it only teaches you about what went wrong and what can happen better. Have faith and believe that things work itself out eventually and the best is yet to happen for you!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1378 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 21, 2023

Question by Raajp - Apr 20, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hello Anu Ji, Firstly thank you very much for your valuable time and feedback on problem. Thanks for understanding me & my POV in this small conversation. After so long Its you who had read between the lines .I am really very thankful of you , that you have given me such a lovely advice. But I am bit confused. After reading mail I was really get very positive and optimistic about my decision. I read ur mail 4 times , I got a positive ray of hope with lot of confusion comes with it . You said “You are possibly still healing from your divorce and are not ready to get into another marriage.” Yes this is the question. Its almost 7 years why I can’t be able to overcome from that dilemma and trauma which I got in past . You said “First, sort your mind out and then think of another relationship” , yes another question what should I sort it down and how ? You said “ what is it that you want and want to do?” this the problem which is not letting me move on.bcoz of this I am so much confused I can’t express you in word . I am not able to understand my wants ……………there is a Cat- Rat Race from Head to heart………from Heart to head all day. In simple words its (Kashmakash). You know ……….. I also want to get married, I want a companion …partner with whom I want to share my emotions, joy’s,……..happiness….etc., I want kids , I want to go for long drives , outings , dance with my wife , and lot of other small big things in my mind, which I was not able to do in past marriage. I want someone, to whom I can share my feeling when I am low. I am strong enough to take care of myself but u know … You need someone who say’s “Don’t worry Allz be well, I am with you “. But for this I have to Trust the other person that’s the thing I Am unable to do it . I don’t know why, I don’t Trust anybody now? why I am creating a vicious circle about trust .? You said one thing very beautiful “So, if you want to stop feeling helpless, take charge of your life and do what you think is right for you” these words really touched my heart .thanks for the encouragement and the words of strength. I really need it very badly. These words give me a new direction to think and bit of strength to my POV. Please forgive me about my English language ……. I am not very good at it and may be you find few thing repetitive and irritating. Pls ignore it . Hoping that I am able convey my POV and feelings of my problem so that u can easily understand…….and on that basis you give Your valuable feedback and advice. Thanks R@@J

Ans: Dear Raaj,
Thank you for your kind words.
The follow-up questions that you have asked me requires a deep-dive introspection from you. You have very clearly and intelligently come up with these questions which is difficult to do when in a problem. But you have managed to do that. So congratulations on taking the first step!

To clarify, always clear any remnants from the previous relationship before you begin a new one. Also, any relationship including marriage is something never to be entered into to please anyone. Do this only when you are ready and there is no need to give into any pressure. Your longing for a companion is sweet but as I have mentioned, ask all these questions to yourself and reflect.
Also, ask:
- am I completely ready to commit to a marriage?
- am I carrying any fear/anger from the previous marriage?
- how will I keep my relationship with my daughter after my marriage?

And yes, the day you learn to love yourself again, you will find it easier to trust again and that's why I said: Heal first...and then think of a companion. Without that trust, you will be playing a game again and it will not end well.
Take some time off to rediscover yourself and heal. Heal by loving yourself and things will flow without you having to chase one lady after the other. Love must be effortless and not chased or forced. Take a break; fear nothing...All will be well...

All the best!

Anu Krishna |1378 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 02, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hi, I am 43 years old divorce male without any kid. After 5 years long court case , I was divorced 1 year ago. I have no desire to go again in any relationship as I have lost faith in relationship after my past experience and also I am in working in High pressure Banking Sector and almost fade up with work pressure. I am confused what should I do in future. Any suggestion will be helpful.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is unfortunate that you had to go through what you have.
It is also understandable why you would feel unsteady and unwilling to trust the process again...
But, let it not rob you of opportunities of exploring a new connection and this will be possible only if you allow yourself to trust...
Because if you don't, you will end up sinking into work to distract yourself. This is unhealthy as it will lead to loneliness and despair. You surely wouldn't want that, would you?
Allow yourself to Let Go...It takes a lot to do that but once you do, it will open your eyes to numerous possibilities. Having said that, do this when you ready...it maybe now, next year or whenever BUT tell yourself that someday you are willing to open your heart to a possibility of a connection. This thought will keep you feeling safe and happier. This will also help you face your job pressures better as all areas of our lives are all linked to one another.

All the best!

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2024

Question by srinithi - Sep 14, 2023Hindi

Relationship

HI MY NAME SRINITHI AM DIVORCE PERSON I HAVE ONE D/O 9 YR OLD .. AM STAY WITH SINGLE BUT MY MIND CHANGED . I NEED MARRIAGE FOR MIND

Ans: Hello Srinithi, it's understandable that your feelings and priorities can change over time. If you're considering marriage again for companionship and emotional fulfillment, here are some suggestions to navigate this process:

Reflect on Your Needs:

Take some time to reflect on what you're looking for in a partner and in a marriage. Consider your values, priorities, and the qualities you find important in a potential spouse.
Communicate with Your Child:

If you haven't already, have an open and honest conversation with your 9-year-old daughter about your feelings and intentions. Ensure she feels comfortable and secure with the idea of you entering into a new relationship.
Build a Support System:

Reach out to friends, family, or a support group who can provide emotional support and guidance as you navigate the process of seeking a new relationship.
Take It Slow:

When you feel ready to explore the possibility of a new relationship, take things at a comfortable pace. Get to know potential partners gradually and allow relationships to develop naturally.
Be Honest About Your Past:

When entering into a new relationship, be open and honest about your past, including your divorce. Clear communication is crucial for building trust and understanding.
Consider Professional Support:

If you find it challenging to navigate these emotions on your own, consider seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist who can help you explore your feelings and guide you through the process.
Set Boundaries:

Clearly define your boundaries and priorities in a new relationship. Understand what you're looking for and what you're willing to compromise on. This will help you make decisions that align with your values.
Stay True to Yourself:

Remember to stay true to your own needs and desires. Don't feel pressured to enter into a new relationship unless it feels right for you.
It's important to prioritize your well-being and the well-being of your child as you consider a new chapter in your life. Taking things step by step, being open in communication, and seeking support can help you navigate this journey more smoothly.

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My age is 39 with one male child, Im a divorcee , should I need remarriage in life.

Ans: Nobody “needs” a second marriage; either you want one, or you don’t. And you’re the best judge of that, not I! You can also have a relationship and see where it goes before discussing the ‘m’ word!

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Asked by Anonymous - Nov 28, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi Ma'am, I am a 29 year old female. My parents recently found a very rich boy who they want me to marry. Initially they asked me to meet him a couple of times and then see if we are a match. However, I met him once and my experience was not great - we have different values in life. I wasn't very happy after that meeting yet I thought I should meet him a couple of times before I make any decision. But now they are building a lot of pressure on me to say yes to him. They are saying things like I will not find anyone better than this, there are no other options out there, this is as good as it gets, I will be throwing away my life if I say no, this is god's blessing that I should just accept. They also said that if I say no, they will just yes to another guy who lives in Canada. I do not understand what is suddenly happening because this was not the case a month ago and they had mentioned that it is my life and if I say no, then it will be a no and there is no pressure. I don't know what to do really, I feel like I am stuck at a cross road

Ans: Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires more than just compatibility on paper. Shared values, mutual respect, and a genuine connection are foundational to a happy and fulfilling relationship. If you feel uncertain or uneasy after meeting this person, it’s worth honoring those feelings and giving yourself time to explore them further. One meeting is often not enough to decide, but neither is it fair for anyone to expect you to commit without clarity.

It might help to have an open and honest conversation with your parents about how this pressure is making you feel. Share your thoughts with them calmly, focusing on your perspective rather than framing it as opposition to their wishes. You could express gratitude for their care while also making it clear that you need space to make a decision that you can feel confident about. Remind them that rushing into a choice you’re not ready for could lead to regret, which is not what either of you wants.

If the pressure continues to escalate, consider involving someone you trust—maybe a relative, family friend, or counselor—who can mediate and help your parents understand your point of view. Sometimes, a neutral perspective can ease tensions and bridge the gap between what they want and what you need.

Above all, remember that this is your life and your happiness at stake. While their love and approval are important, the decision to marry should come from a place of certainty and alignment with your values and goals. It’s okay to take your time, ask for understanding, and prioritize what feels right for you. You deserve a partnership that brings joy, peace, and fulfillment, not one borne out of pressure or fear of missing out.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 08, 2024

Relationship

Hello mam I am really having trouble in my family right now I am like studying and also I go to academy and school I am 14 years old my father is forcing me to marry someone and that someone has has a nice job but I will love with someone who is in my academy and when I told my father about him he refused and said that there is no need to go in that Academy and I begged him to not do that and the person I am love with doesn't do a job and also is the same age as me so I told my father so many times that I don't want to marry that person because I am in love with someone else so how can a person marry someone who he doesn't even love I know my parents my father want the best for me but you know what I want to say

Ans: At 14, your focus should be on growing, learning, and discovering yourself. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires emotional maturity, stability, and readiness—things that naturally come with time. It’s okay to tell your father, calmly and firmly, that you’re not ready for marriage yet, regardless of who the person is. Try to express that your education and personal growth are priorities for you now, and marrying too young could prevent you from living the life you want in the future.

When it comes to the person you care about, those feelings are also important, but it’s worth remembering that both of you are still very young. Your emotions are real, but your focus on education and future goals should remain central for both of you right now. If this connection is meaningful, it can grow naturally over time without the rush or stress of marriage.

If speaking directly to your father feels too difficult, is there a trusted adult, family member, teacher, or counselor who can help you communicate your feelings? Sometimes having someone else explain your perspective can make all the difference.

Above all, you deserve to feel heard, respected, and supported in your choices. You’re not alone, and this is not a battle you have to fight by yourself. Take it one step at a time, and remember, your voice and dreams matter.

Anu Krishna |1378 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hello i am 35 years old and married since 10 years, i have a daughter of 7 years. Me and daughter are at my father's place now we came here in December 2023 and my husband is in kolkata, the reason of this shift was the financial burden on my father since 10 years and he is retired now as he has been helping us financially since 10 years. Earlier me, my daughter and my husband were all staying together at my paternal house in kolkata. So because of being dependent on my father even till now there were many problems between me and my husband so me and my husband decided to shift to hyderabad and both of us being dentist thought of working and taking care of my daughter and take a rented house for ourselves. Everything was fine between us and my husband also came for my daughter's birthday in March to hyderabad and we stayed together for 5 days and then he said he would try for jobs n come back but out of nowhere suddenly my husband sent me an advocates letter seeking consent for mutual divorce which was really very very sudden and unpredictable. Later i found that his colleague in the clinic in kolkata is divorced has 2 kids and is in live in relation with my husband. This is completely a shock for me as my husband was not like this earlier at all. He now wants divorce from me at any means and doesn't bother about my daughter as well. There's no contact with my husband since August 30th and in a recent relationship of 6 months he wants to finish everything. I am completely disturbed mentally please suggest

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This is really sad. It would have been mature of him to say things to your face instead of running away. Anyway, you are faced with a situation where you are going to need solid legal advice.
So, do just that and find a lawyer who can smartly deal with the issues on how to protect your daughter's interests. As for you, this being such a shocker is going to make you lose faith in a marriage. But remember things could have gotten worse...his true colors came in through this way...he could have very well cheated on you while living with you as well. This is not to justify what he's done of course but for you to find peace within you somehow.
But, before taking this serious step, I would encourage you to speak with him. Let him make an effort to come down meet you and at that time do ask him if he really wants divorce. Also, by then you will also have to make up your mind that in case he apologizes, if you want to forgive him and move on...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1378 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 01, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I had Dated a Girl for many Years. I had pampered her with lots of Expensive Gifts (Jewellery, iPhone, Branded Clothes, Fancy Cosmetics) all bought with my Hard-Earned Money. But her Parents brought forward the Proposal of a Groom from Wealthy NRI Family, of their own Caste, hence she had to Break-up with me & get engaged to him, within a short span of time. I have been demanding her to Return the Expensive Gifts, but she's been Refusing to do so, without even Paying me an Amount equivalent to the value of the Expensive Gifts, I'd given her. I have all the Bills of the Expensive Gifts I'd purchased for her & also Photos/Videos of myself gifting them to her, on various occasions. I'm planning to contact her Fiance, somehow, show him all these Evidences & demand Monetary Compensation from him, for the total amount, I'd spent on those Gifts. Would this be a good approach, or would you suggest any alternative means, through which I can get back, all the Money, I'd wasted on her?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are not serious on getting the gifts back, are you?
Those were gifts given to someone when the two of you were in a relationship. What was the need to gift her such expensive things? Was it to make sure that she's with you or was it to impress her? That's when it's going to hit you hard and you would want them back!
Being on a revenge mode and exposing her is only going to make the entire episode cheap...you spent time on her, yeah? How are you going to get that back? How about all the mind space you spent thinking of her? How are you going to free up that space?

Be practical here and also a bit honest to yourself. Your reaction is one of being spurned and rejected and this is your way of justifying punishing her saying that it's expensive etc etc. Grow up here...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Radheshyam Zanwar |1094 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 09, 2024Hindi

Career

Sir can you please guide me which course is good and have more job opportunities. Msc in Biotechnology or ME in Pharmaceutical Engineering. Is UCD is best or Liverpool.

Ans: Hello dear.
Biotechnology is booming due to advancements in healthcare and agricultural technology, making it a high-demand field globally.
The pharmaceutical industry is ever-growing, and there is a consistent demand for professionals skilled in production's technical and regulatory aspects. Depending on your interest, you can choose anyone.But choosing ME (Pharma) will be more suggestible from my side.
Both University College Dublin (UCD) & Liverpool provide excellent job opportunities.
For MSc in Biotechnology: UCD might be a better option due to Ireland's thriving biotech industry and post-study work opportunities.
For ME in Pharmaceutical Engineering: Both are strong, but UCD has the edge due to Ireland's robust pharmaceutical sector.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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