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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1604 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 28, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Vaihayasi Question by Vaihayasi on Jan 06, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu. What is the best way to give relationship advice to your daughters so they actually listen to you.

Ans: Dear Vaihayasi,
1. Respect and love yourself for who you are
2. Never fear to say NO and draw boundaries around you
3. Listen more than you talk
4. Always ask: What more can I do for you?
5. Create your own time to do what you love
6. Know that arguments don't last for ever
7. Celebrate differences
This would be suggestions more than advice just to anyone that I can share them with:)

Best wishes!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 08, 2024

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I'm seeking guidance on improving my communication with my daughters. I want to create a more positive and supportive environment at home, especially when discussing their mistakes or weaknesses. Could you please share some strategies on how I can provide positive feedback and encouragement, even when addressing their mistakes? I aim to help them feel comfortable discussing their challenges without fear and to focus on turning negative thoughts into positive ones. Your advice on how to approach this in a friendly and constructive manner would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your support
Ans: It’s really commendable that you're seeking ways to improve communication with your daughters, especially when it comes to handling mistakes or weaknesses. The goal you're aiming for—creating a supportive environment where they feel safe to share their challenges—is a key part of nurturing a healthy and open relationship.

When addressing their mistakes, it’s important to remember that how they interpret your feedback can shape how they see themselves and their ability to handle difficulties. You want them to feel like they’re not being judged or criticized but instead being guided towards growth. One way to start is by focusing on empathy in your conversations. When they make a mistake, it’s natural to want to correct it quickly, but it can be more productive to begin by acknowledging how they might feel. This lets them know that you understand their experience, and that mistakes are part of life and learning. It shifts the focus from the mistake itself to their emotions, which builds trust.

Another aspect is how you frame the conversation. Instead of honing in on what went wrong, it’s helpful to highlight the effort they put in and the process they went through, even if the outcome wasn’t perfect. Letting them know that their effort is noticed and appreciated can boost their confidence. When they feel that their hard work is valued, they’re more likely to discuss their challenges openly, rather than feeling like they failed. If they feel supported during these moments, they will be more inclined to seek your guidance in the future without fearing a negative response.

Listening is another vital tool. When they make a mistake, resist the urge to immediately jump in with advice or corrections. Instead, ask them how they feel about what happened or what they think they could do differently next time. This not only gives them ownership of their problem-solving but also empowers them to reflect and learn from their experiences. Sometimes, when children are given the space to voice their thoughts, they can surprise you with their insights. And even if they don’t have an answer right away, they’ll appreciate being part of the conversation rather than being lectured.

It’s also important to be patient with progress. Instead of expecting a big shift in behavior or attitude overnight, focus on the small steps they take. Recognizing these smaller victories can go a long way in motivating them to keep improving, even when they stumble. They need to see that progress is more important than perfection, and your role is to guide them through the ups and downs without focusing too much on the final result.

Finally, your own approach to challenges and mistakes plays a big role in shaping how they will handle their own. When they see you approach difficulties with a positive mindset—whether it's a work challenge or a personal frustration—they’re learning that setbacks don’t define them. Modeling this kind of attitude will encourage them to talk about their own struggles more openly and with less fear of judgment.

In essence, the goal is to build trust and maintain a positive tone, even when discussing difficult topics. With this approach, your daughters will not only feel comfortable coming to you but will also develop a stronger sense of resilience in facing their own challenges. You’ll find that as they feel more supported, their confidence in addressing their weaknesses will naturally grow.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1604 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

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Relationship
Hi Anu I m married got last 18 years . I have 2 daughters .Elder us in 11th std science and younger is in 5th std . I more attached yo my younger daughter. I am always scolding my elder daughter as she doesn’t listen to me at all and always acts the opposite of what I tell her . She also doesn’t share anything about her life or any events or her plans with me or my husband. I come to know from her friends or there parents which annoys me a lot . Also myself and my husband relationship is not at all good . We are having lots of financial issues . He has incurred major loss in stock market and he wants to set it right and is involved with wrong people for making things proper. He’s hot zero knowledge of stock market and has taken multiple loans and now my parents are repaying the loans . He’s not ready to listen to anyone and also trying to avoid any kind if communication or conversation with me . Even our daughters are not getting good family support during there crucial age . I Ann confused and don’t understand how yo handle him and due to this issues I am always stressed and all my anger is on my daughter. Please guide me
Ans: Dear Minu,
It's possible that your older daughter has been a witness to many arguments between you and your husband in her growing years and that could have caused her to shut down and be within herself.
Whatever the reason, what's the point in being angry with her? When we want to see a behavior change from our children, it's our turn first. So, as parents work on your relationship first. When children grow up in a loving environment, they feel loved and are able to trust their parents. Work on building that trust with her where she feels safe to share things with you and her father...
It comes right back to the two of you as parents...
About his financial issues, I cannot suggest what he can do or not...but you can certainly talk to him about how it has begun to eat into your savings and how much it is bothering you. Hopefully when the two of you work on your relationship, he will be in a place where he will hear you out better.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2025
Money
Hi I am 43 me and wife earning 3 lcs per month with no kids we have a liability of 45 lacs housing loan and car loan of 8 lacs Housing loan balance 38 lacs ( we paid 5 lacs as part payment in two years) and also increase our installments from 38000 to 50000 for the last 5 months and reduce our tenure from 20 years to now 12 years Expenses:- 50000 housing laon per month 19000 car loan per month 30000 house hold expenses including travel expenses etc.. 30 lakhs mediclaim insurance premium 25000 annually Investment:- 35000 mutual funds per month ( funds like multi assets,multi cap and large cap one or two funds in small cap,and flexi funds ) Lic premium annual around 2 lacs 65000 annually premium for term plan ( unit linked plan) of 50 lacs 1 lakhs in PPF 50 lakhs corpus in mutual funds (90% equity and 10% hybrid) 15 lakhs FD 30 lakhs worth gold (300 grm) apprx 1 flat worth 1 crore ( on loan paying 50k pm) 10 lakh cash 3 lakh in savings Want to build a corpus of minimum of 10 crores befor 60 years of age How do invest in more systametic manner so that we can grow our money and how much amount do we need more to invest to reach this targetAnd another imp question is do I need to pay housing loan first so that I can save the intrest or kept the money in account as emergency fund. I am really confused Do I sell gold and pay loan ?? Do I break my FD ? What to do??
Ans: Appreciate your clarity and discipline with money. You are far ahead of many at your age. You already have a strong income, valuable assets, and good savings habits. Now let’s look at a complete 360° view of how to reach Rs. 10 crore target by 60.

We’ll go step by step with each area of your financial life.

Income and Cash Flow Overview
Monthly income of Rs. 3 lakhs is very healthy.

Loan EMIs total around Rs. 1.19 lakhs, approximately 40% of income.

Household expenses are just Rs. 30,000 – very efficient.

SIPs of Rs. 35,000 are a great start, but more growth investment is needed.

Scope exists to steadily increase investments each year.

Savings of Rs. 13 lakhs (FD + cash + savings) gives a solid buffer.

Actionable Insight:
Maintain a detailed monthly budget tracking income, expenses, EMIs, and surplus. Review it quarterly to stay in control.

Loan Repayment Strategy
Home loan of Rs. 38 lakh with Rs. 50,000 EMI and reduced tenure to 12 years – good progress.

Car loan of Rs. 8 lakh with Rs. 19,000 EMI.

Rs. 69,000/month in loan EMIs is manageable at your income level.

Recommendations:

Don’t rush to close home loan if interest is below 9% – you get tax benefits.

Prioritise closing the car loan if interest rate is high – it's not tax beneficial.

Avoid using FD or gold for loan repayment unless it’s an emergency.

Emergency Fund Evaluation
Rs. 10 lakh in cash + Rs. 3 lakh in savings is already strong.

With Rs. 15 lakh in FD, total emergency reserve is Rs. 28 lakh.

That’s more than sufficient; no need to expand emergency fund further.

Use sweep-in FD or split across multiple banks for liquidity and safety.

Insurance Assessment
Rs. 30 lakh health insurance is adequate – continue maintaining this.

Term insurance of Rs. 50 lakh via ULIP is too low.

Ideal cover should be around Rs. 4 crore (12x annual income).

Recommendations:

Take an independent term insurance plan of Rs. 3.5 crore.

Continue existing health cover.

Evaluate surrender of ULIP and LIC if returns are low (generally ~5%).

Redirect those premiums (Rs. 2.65 lakh annually) to mutual fund SIPs.

Investment Portfolio Review
Monthly Investments:

Rs. 35,000 into mutual funds (multi-cap, flexi-cap, small-cap, etc.)

Annual Contributions:

Rs. 1 lakh into PPF

Total Investment Corpus:

Rs. 50 lakh in mutual funds

Rs. 15 lakh in FD

Rs. 30 lakh in gold

Rs. 10 lakh in cash

Rs. 3 lakh in savings

Positives:

Strong equity exposure for long-term growth.

Balanced support from gold and FD.

Suggestions for Improvement:

Increase SIPs annually by at least 10%.

Limit small-cap exposure to 10-15%.

Gradually move from FD to debt mutual funds for better returns and tax-efficiency.

Surrender low-return policies (LIC, ULIP) and reinvest in growth-oriented funds.

Continue PPF contributions for safe, tax-free returns.

Realistic Path to Rs. 10 Crore by Age 60
You are 43 now, with 17 years to invest.

Current investment corpus is around Rs. 1.08 crore.

With Rs. 35,000 SIP, you might reach Rs. 2.5–3 crore by 60 – not enough.

To Reach Rs. 10 Crore Goal:

Gradually increase SIPs to Rs. 1 lakh/month in 5 years.

Reinvest proceeds from surrendering LIC/ULIP (Rs. 2.65 lakh annually).

Redirect EMI amounts (car loan, etc.) once loans are closed.

Make lump sum additions from bonuses or surplus income.

Mutual Fund Taxation Notes
From 2024, equity LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term equity gains taxed at 20%.

Debt fund gains taxed as per slab.

Advice:

Avoid frequent withdrawals.

Use ultra-short term or debt funds for short- to medium-term needs.

Fund Selection Guidelines
Avoid direct funds unless you manage the portfolio yourself.

Use regular plans through a certified financial planner for guidance.

Avoid index funds if you seek alpha and personalized management.

Stick to a blend of active multi-cap, flexi-cap, and large-cap funds.

Suggested Asset Allocation
60% – Equity mutual funds

15% – Debt mutual funds

10% – Gold (already in place)

10% – Emergency fund (FD + cash)

5% – PPF

Annual Portfolio Rebalancing Recommended

Year-Wise Action Plan
Year 1–2:

Repay car loan using surplus or gold if needed.

Surrender LIC and ULIP; shift Rs. 2.65 lakh to mutual funds.

Take new term plan of Rs. 3.5 crore.

Increase SIPs to Rs. 50,000/month.

Year 3–5:

Redirect closed EMIs (Rs. 19,000) to SIPs.

Gradually move FD into debt mutual funds.

Add lump sum investments from annual bonuses.

Year 6–10:

Continue SIPs at Rs. 1 lakh/month.

Keep gold as is.

Rebalance asset allocation annually.

Final Insights
You are on the right track.

No need to sell gold or break FD prematurely.

Gradually increase SIPs and equity exposure.

Maintain emergency reserve.

Improve term cover and simplify insurance portfolio.

Avoid panic, follow the strategy, and review annually.

With this approach, you can confidently build Rs. 10 crore or more by 60 and ensure financial independence.

With better planning and yearly reviews, you will secure a strong retired life.

 

Best Regards,
?
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
?
Chief Financial Planner,
?
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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