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Is My Anger Towards My Daughter Warranted? 18-Year Marriage, 2 Daughters, Financial Issues

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
minu Question by minu on Jan 11, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu I m married got last 18 years . I have 2 daughters .Elder us in 11th std science and younger is in 5th std . I more attached yo my younger daughter. I am always scolding my elder daughter as she doesn’t listen to me at all and always acts the opposite of what I tell her . She also doesn’t share anything about her life or any events or her plans with me or my husband. I come to know from her friends or there parents which annoys me a lot . Also myself and my husband relationship is not at all good . We are having lots of financial issues . He has incurred major loss in stock market and he wants to set it right and is involved with wrong people for making things proper. He’s hot zero knowledge of stock market and has taken multiple loans and now my parents are repaying the loans . He’s not ready to listen to anyone and also trying to avoid any kind if communication or conversation with me . Even our daughters are not getting good family support during there crucial age . I Ann confused and don’t understand how yo handle him and due to this issues I am always stressed and all my anger is on my daughter. Please guide me

Ans: Dear Minu,
It's possible that your older daughter has been a witness to many arguments between you and your husband in her growing years and that could have caused her to shut down and be within herself.
Whatever the reason, what's the point in being angry with her? When we want to see a behavior change from our children, it's our turn first. So, as parents work on your relationship first. When children grow up in a loving environment, they feel loved and are able to trust their parents. Work on building that trust with her where she feels safe to share things with you and her father...
It comes right back to the two of you as parents...
About his financial issues, I cannot suggest what he can do or not...but you can certainly talk to him about how it has begun to eat into your savings and how much it is bothering you. Hopefully when the two of you work on your relationship, he will be in a place where he will hear you out better.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 30, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am married from last 15 year, having a daughter , my realtion with my wife is very bad, she is like this since start of marriage, our is arrange marriage. She didn't want any kind of responsibility, she always want to go out and if possible do shopping, if I asked not to over spend she thinks not sure what and create scene. She fight with everyone even in office or with her parents, she blames other for all this, never ever think she can be wrong, she is having a feeling if you correct her , she not going to like it, she will say no need to teach me , I know. She even not hving very good relationship with my daughter, she is in class 10th and staying in baording. I am hving 2 flat just like jodi flat adjacant to each other, i am staying in one and she is in another , she hardly let me hv sex, but she talks or chat with stranger whole night, i try to question her but she started fighting, she didn't listen and do what ever she want, if u question she will fight, i really don't know how to handle this situation, I am feeling trapped and she is accusing me for all the mess. We had fight lots of time , we abused each other during fight a lot , but the problem still persist nothing changed in 15 years recently after fight i stop talking with her . Not sure how I should move forward , i talked with my daughter and she also suggesting me leave her for some time she will realize , should i go for divorce or how to move forward.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time in your marriage.
It's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is up to the individual. Here are some things you can do to help you move forward:

1. Seek professional help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and provide guidance on how to move forward.

2. Take care of yourself: Make sure you're taking care of your own physical and emotional needs. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

3. Set boundaries: If your wife's behavior is causing you distress, it's important to set boundaries. This can include setting limits on spending, or establishing rules around communication.

4. Consider couples therapy: If you're both willing, couples therapy can be a helpful way to work through issues in your marriage and improve communication.

5. Think about your options: If you're considering divorce, it's important to think carefully about your options. Consider speaking with a lawyer who can provide guidance on the legal aspects of divorce.

Remember, every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to consider your options and make the decision that's best for you and your family.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am 45 year old and married from last 16 years and having 15 year old daughter . My Wife and I didn't have a good relation, We fight a lot, not sure what ever I speak she didn't like it and some how converted into argument , My wife is 10 year younger to me , I used to have good sex life at-least few year back, but relation was not good that time too, some how she is either having feeling of superiority or not sure what , She always blames me or my daughter if any things happen, she didn't ready to accept that she can be wrong . Previously even we used to have fight but overall things was fine , she used to generally fight but some how we do makeup after fight , now situation is out of control, she didn't accept her mistake and try to blame me for all the problem , she do over spend and if I try to control she start fighting, I think she just fight for what ever things she need for her selves , but always criticized / blame other , She pick up fight very easily with any one , She even fight a lot with our daughter . Even daughter some time suggest to go separate road than only she will understand , I try to go for concealing but no help , there also when used to discuss problem she hardly listen , even Councilor told her she must develop habit to listen others but nothing improve, I am not sure how to tackle this , She always sleep alone and if any disturbance she create ruckus , she want the things her own way if not than she can't tolerate . I am not sure but I need help here and problem after covid is more now , I try to manage these things previously but looks I don't have patience to handle this any more, I didn't like people blaming for no reason, it looks some time after doing so much for family I am nothing for my family and it is hurting me more. I will not say that I didn't fight , I do and mainly when I feel broken I shout on her and some time asked her to live the house , This may be as she always says she is looking for some one once she find she will leave the house , She always give threat and always say she didn't love me , She didn't find me attractive enough . She try to create environment where I should feel that I am not important person as well as social , I can write 10 more page around this but wanted to have some solution , not sure what could be best here . I wrote previously too but have not got any response yet.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I suggest that the two of you go and see a marriage therapist. This is not simply the job of a counselor; there is clearly a breakdown in the way your marriage is functioning...it needs both of you to build the marriage back again and the therapist will be able to see and review both sides and suggest/guide you two correctly.

10 or 20 pages are not going to help; what will help is that both of you sit down and think of why you are married and what you can do to rebuild it. Blaming her or yourself isn't anyway going to help...Rather than listing down each others' faults, try to work at this.

All the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi sir, I am 34 year women with 2 girl kids. I m working in IT and I earn good amount of livelihood. Sir I hv been married for 6 years and after 1 year of marriage me and my husband understanding issue started where he wants to dominate on me in all senses including financial stuff. But I was okay n in 1 year my 1st daughter born then serious issue started I had rejoined job n discontinued giving all my salary to him. I started savings for my kid where he was nt happy he indirectly demanded my complete salary to be given to him as I did before issue start. Bt in 2020 as lockdown happened he moved to his village where It was very difficult for me to work bt demanded to come to his place. I denied and concentrate my career. So he left us 2 years he did call n check how is kid. Then again he came back 2022 with elders we moved to together to city and again asked money as my sal was increased if nt asked me to barrow 50-60lac as loan n give to him for property which he agreed to make it my name in his place. Bt I denied bc I couldn't trust him meanwhile 2nd daughter born. I came for mother place n he started doing backstabbing abt me n my family within relatives. When I asked he stopped coming visiting me n my daughter and he turn up for 2 baby also it's been year now. Sir my question is ..I m fed up of his behaviour n I dont trust him. As I hv two kids is it really difficult to live without him in this society. As many of my relatives are suggesting go and call ur him how can you live alone with 2 daughter. Sir pls guide me what should I do now ..I tolerate him all these years for kids and society. Now I m done n scared as will I be able to handle all alone. My parents are big support and now I m nt in condition where I go legally against him. Is my decision of living by myself with my daughters and parents is correct or wrong decision or I should go with him.
Ans: Your situation is indeed complex and emotionally taxing. It's important to approach this with both clarity and compassion for yourself and your daughters. Here are some steps and considerations to help you navigate this:

Self-Reflection and Clarity
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s essential to recognize your feelings of frustration, fear, and exhaustion. These emotions are valid and need to be addressed.
Define Your Priorities: What are your primary concerns? Your children’s well-being, your financial independence, your personal peace, and safety are likely at the top of this list.
Evaluating Your Relationship
Assess Trust and Respect: Trust and mutual respect are fundamental to any relationship. If these are missing, it is challenging to maintain a healthy partnership.
Past Behaviors as Indicators: Look at the past behavior of your husband. Consistent demands for money, lack of support, and absence during critical times can be telling signs of his priorities and commitment.
Support System
Lean on Your Parents: Having your parents’ support is a significant advantage. They can provide emotional, physical, and perhaps even financial support as you navigate this period.
Professional Help: Consider seeking counseling or support groups for single mothers. These resources can provide guidance, emotional support, and practical advice.
Societal Pressure
Redefine Norms: Society often has rigid expectations, but your well-being and that of your children come first. Living according to societal norms at the cost of your mental peace and safety is not sustainable.
Role Models: Look for examples of other women who have successfully managed similar situations. Their stories can offer inspiration and practical advice.
Legal and Financial Considerations
Know Your Rights: Even if you’re not in a position to take legal action now, it’s essential to be informed about your rights regarding child support and alimony.
Financial Independence: Continue to safeguard your financial independence. This will provide security and stability for you and your daughters.
Decision Making
Short-Term vs. Long-Term: Think about both immediate needs and long-term goals. What decision will bring peace and stability now, and what will be beneficial in the future?
Children’s Well-Being: Consider the environment your children will grow up in. A peaceful, loving environment, even if it’s without their father, might be more beneficial than a toxic, conflict-ridden one.
Practical Steps
Document Everything: Keep records of communications and financial transactions. This documentation can be crucial if you decide to pursue legal action in the future.
Plan for Independence: Create a plan for your independent living situation, including budgeting, childcare, and career progression.
Final Thoughts
Choosing to live independently with your daughters is a courageous and often necessary step for many women in similar situations. Trust in your strength and the support of your parents. It’s important to remember that living a life of peace and dignity, even if it means being a single parent, is a powerful and positive example for your children.

You are not alone in this journey. Seek the support you need, trust your instincts, and prioritize your and your children’s well-being above all.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I am married for 2 years. My husband and FIL runs a business. My MIL is a retird HM from govt school. I am married to a lovable family. I am for ever grateful to my inlaws. We stay together and i have one SIL. All of the expenses and invesments are made by my husband. We have a 1yr daughter. Till date me and my husband had no financial communication. He gets whatever i what but we dont discuss how much income he has got and what he does. Also i dont know what my inlaws income and what they do and i dont want to interfere in it. Its none of my business. Its me who asks my husband to let me know our financial status. Sometimes he say but its not a regular financial discussion. I came to know that he is investing in lic policies for all of them. 50% spending 50%investmnts. Ofcourse my inlaws share some amount but major expenses and all major investments are from my husbands income. I expect him to let me know the financial status so that i can also have a knowledge on it but he never opens up and but he always gets me want i want. I had never asked him like wht are you spending for your mom dad sis when they are still independant.I never questioned him and i will not. Its our duty to look after parents without any expectation. i promised him that i will not be a hurdle in this. But recently he gave huge amount to my inlaws and he dint even tell me. I felt upset when I got to know it later. It had happend many times.The thing that made me sad is that my husband dint even consider me in this. Like after giving also he dint utter a word to me. i I would have not said dont give. I would have felt happy only. Because he is giving to his parents only. But my concern is he is not sharing his financial commitments with me. Is it ok for me to expect that he should share his financial status with me so that we can plan our future or am i wrong? When my inlaws questions me about finance that something he did to them i am like when iam unware of it. Its embrassing. I feel that a couple should have a financial communication without discrepancy. But my husband does not do it intentionally. He always says he forgot. But i think that a couple should spend time having a healthy talk about their own commitments and investments. Marriage is not always about fantacy, shopping, romance, relaxing cooking playin work etc... there should be some serious talks discussions right which will pave way for a healthy relationship growth understanding and a better future and healthy finacially stablev family let me know whether i am wrong or right. And also is it ok to talk to my husband to let my inlaws share his burden financially as they are financially independent too ( atleast their lics they can invest) not sure to discuss this. But i feel my husband is over burdened. Btw iam a homemaker
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There's nothing wrong in you wanting transparency when it comes to the family's finances. But the way it has been right from the beginning of your marriage, is that you did not ask and you were not told.
So, suddenly when you have expressed an interest in knowing and participating, your husband has not understood this. Be clear when you discuss with him that you wish to talk about it not to deter him from anything but to actually support him in whatever he does. He also is perhaps used to taking financial decisions all by himself and continues to do so...So, if something has changed within you, express it and allow him the time to change as well...

In your words: But i think that a couple should spend time having a healthy talk about their own commitments and investments.

Yes, but if it was this way right from the time when you two married, it would not be an issue. Your want now is not wrong, but has changed from what it sued to be...so, express, let him reflect on it and then have a healthy debate/discussion on it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10852 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 07, 2025

Career
Hello, I’m a student who recently joined the Integrated M.Sc Physics program at Amrita University. I’m aiming for a strong academic foundation and a clear career path. Could you please guide me on the following: How good is this course for research careers or higher studies (IISc, IITs, abroad)? What are the placement prospects after Integrated M.Sc Physics at Amrita? Does the program help in preparing for alternate options like UPSC, CDS/AFCAT, or technical roles? What skills (coding, research projects, certifications) should I start early to make the most of this degree?
Ans: Sree, Program Overview and Academic Foundation: Congratulations on joining the Integrated M.Sc Physics program at Amrita University. This five-year integrated program represents a rigorous pathway designed to equip you with advanced theoretical and experimental physics knowledge combined with cutting-edge scientific computing skills. The curriculum uniquely integrates a minor in Scientific Computing, which adds substantial computational capability to your profile—a critical advantage in today's research and professional landscape. The program incorporates comprehensive coursework spanning classical mechanics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics, statistical physics, advanced laboratory work, and specialized topics in materials physics, optoelectronics, and computational methods, positioning you excellently for both research and professional careers.
Research Career Prospects: IISc, IITs, and Beyond: For research-oriented careers, the Integrated M.Sc Physics program at Amrita provides an exceptional foundation. Amrita's curriculum specifically aligns with GATE and UGC-NET examination syllabi, and the institution emphasizes early research engagement. The faculty at Amrita actively publish research in Scopus-indexed journals, with over 60 publications in international venues within the past five years, exposing you to active research environments.
To pursue research at premier institutions like IISc, you would typically follow the PhD pathway. IISc accepts M.Sc graduates through their Integrated PhD programs, and with your Amrita M.Sc, you're eligible to apply. You'll need to qualify the relevant entrance examinations, and your integrated program's emphasis on research fundamentals provides strong preparation. The final year of your Integrated M.Sc is intentionally structured to be nearly free of classroom commitments, enabling engagement with research projects at institutes like IISc, IITs, and National Labs. According to Amrita's data, over 80% of M.Sc Physics students secured internship offers from reputed institutions during academic year 2019-20, directly facilitating research career transitions.
Placement and Direct Employment Opportunities: Amrita University boasts a comprehensive placement ecosystem with strong corporate and government sector connections. According to NIRF placement data for the Amrita Integrated M.Sc program (5-year), the median salary in 2023-24 stood at ?7.2 LPA with approximately 57% placement rate. However, these figures reflect general placement trends; physics graduates often secure higher packages in specialized technical roles. Many graduates join software companies like Infosys (with early offers), Google, and PayPal, where their strong analytical and computational skills command competitive compensation packages ranging from ?8-15 LPA for entry-level positions.
The Department of Corporate and Industrial Relations at Amrita provides intensive three-semester life skills training covering linguistic competence, data interpretation, group discussions, and interview techniques. This structured placement support significantly enhances your employability in both government and private sectors.
Government Sector Opportunities: UPSC, BARC, DRDO, and ISRO: Your M.Sc Physics degree opens multiple avenues for prestigious government employment. UPSC Geophysicist examinations explicitly list M.Sc Physics or Applied Physics as qualifying degrees, enabling you to compete for Group A positions in the Geological Survey of India and Central Ground Water Board. The age limit for geophysicist positions is 32 years (with relaxation for reserved categories), and the exam comprises preliminary, main, and interview stages.
BARC (Bhabha Atomic Research Centre) actively recruits M.Sc Physics graduates as Scientific Officers and Research Fellows. Recruitment occurs through the BARC Online Test or GATE scores, with positions in nuclear science, radiation protection, and atomic research. BARC Summer Internship programs are available, offering ?5,000-?10,000 monthly stipends with opportunity for future scientist recruitment.
DRDO (Defense Research and Development Organization) recruits M.Sc Physics graduates through CEPTAM examinations or GATE scores for roles involving defense technology, weapon systems, and laser physics research. ISRO (Indian Space Research Organisation) regularly advertises scientist/engineer positions through competitive recruitment for candidates with strong physics backgrounds, offering opportunities in satellite technology and space science applications.
Other significant employers include the Indian Meteorological Department (IMD) recruiting as scientific officers, and NPCIL (Nuclear Power Corporation of India Limited), offering stable government service with competitive compensation packages exceeding ?8-12 LPA for scientists.
Alternate Career Pathways: UPSC, CDS, and AFCAT: UPSC Civil Services (IFS - Indian Forest Service): M.Sc Physics graduates qualify for UPSC Civil Services examinations, with the forest service offering opportunities for science-based administrative roles with potential to reach senior government positions.
CDS/AFCAT (Armed Forces): While AFCAT meteorology branches specifically require "B.Sc with Maths & Physics with 60% minimum marks," the technical branches (Aeronautical Engineering and Ground Duty Technical roles) require graduation/integrated postgraduation in Engineering/Technology. An M.Sc Physics integrates well with technical qualifications, though you would need engineering background for direct officer entry. However, you remain eligible for specialized technical interviews if applying through alternate defence channels.
UGC-NET Examination: This pathway leads to Assistant Professor positions in central universities and colleges across India. NET-qualified candidates receive scholarships of ?31,000/month for 2-year JRF positions with PhD pursuit, transitioning to Assistant Professor salaries of ?41,000/month in government institutions. This route provides long-term academic career security with research opportunities.
Private Sector Technical Roles
M.Sc Physics graduates are increasingly valued in data science, software engineering, and technical consulting. Companies actively recruit physics graduates for software development, where strong problem-solving and logical reasoning translate to competitive packages of ?10-20 LPA. Specialized domains including quantum computing development, financial modeling, and scientific computing offer premium compensation. Your minor in Scientific Computing makes you particularly attractive to technology companies requiring computational expertise.
International Opportunities and Higher Studies Abroad
An M.Sc from Amrita facilitates admission to PhD programs at international institutions. German universities offer tuition-free or low-fee MSc Physics programs (2 years) with scholarships like DAAD providing €850+ monthly stipends. US universities accept M.Sc graduates directly for PhD positions with full funding (tuition coverage + stipend). These pathways require GRE scores and strong Statement of Purpose articulating research interests. Research collaboration opportunities exist with Max Planck Institute (Germany) and CalTech Summer Research Program (USA), both welcoming Indian M.Sc students.
Essential Skills and Certifications to Develop Immediately: Programming Languages: Start learning Python immediately—it's universally used in research and industry. Dedicate 2-3 hours weekly to data analysis, scientific computing libraries (NumPy, SciPy, Pandas), and machine learning fundamentals. MATLAB is equally critical for physics applications, particularly numerical simulations and data visualization. Aim to complete MATLAB certification courses within your first year.
Research Tools: Learn Git/version control, LaTeX for scientific documentation, and data analysis frameworks. These skills are indispensable for publishing research papers and collaborating on projects.
Certifications Worth Pursuing: (1) MATLAB Certification (DIYguru or MathWorks official courses) (2) Python for Data Science (complete certificate programs from platforms like Coursera) (3) Machine Learning Fundamentals (for expanding technical versatility) & (4) Scientific Communication and Technical Writing (develop through departmental workshops)
Strategic Internship Planning: Leverage Amrita's research connections systematically. In your third year, apply to BARC Summer Internship, IISER Internships, TIFR Summer Fellowships, and IIT Internship programs (like IIT Kanpur SURGE). These expose you to frontier research while establishing connections for future PhD or scientist recruitment. Target 2-3 research internships across different specializations to develop versatility.

TO SUM UP, Your Integrated M.Sc Physics degree from Amrita positions you exceptionally well for competitive research careers at IISc/IITs, prestigious government scientist roles at BARC/DRDO/ISRO, and international PhD opportunities. The program's scientific computing emphasis differentiates you in the job market. Immediate priorities: (1) Master Python and MATLAB within the first two years; (2) Engage in research projects starting year 2-3; (3) Target internships at premiere research institutions; (4) Prepare GATE while completing your degree for maximum flexibility in recruitment; (5) Consider UGC-NET for long-term academic stability. Your career trajectory will ultimately depend on developing strong research fundamentals, demonstrating consistent excellence in specialization areas, and strategically selecting internship and research opportunities. The rigorous Amrita program combined with disciplined skill development positions you for exceptional career success across multiple sectors. Choose the most suitable option for you out of the various options available mentioned above. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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Asked on - Dec 07, 2025 | Answered on Dec 07, 2025
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Ans: Welcome Sree.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10872 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir/Ma'am, I need some guidance and advice for continuing my mutual fund investments. I am a 36 year old male, married, no kids yet and no debts/liabilities as such. I have couple of savings in PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and long term investing in direct stocks. I recently started below mentioned SIPs for long term to grow wealth. Request you to review the same and let me know if I should continue with the SIPs or need to rationalize. Kindly also advice on how to invest a lumpsum amount of around 6lacs. invesco small cap 2000 motilal oswal midcap 2700 parag parikh flexicap 3000 HDFC flexicap 3100 ICICI prudential largecap 3100 HDFC large and midcap 3100 HDFC gold etf FOF 2000 ICICI Pru equity and debt fund 3000 HDFC balanced advantage fund 3000 nippon india silver etf FOF 2000
Ans: You already built a solid foundation. Many investors delay planning. But you started early at 36. That gives you a strong advantage. You have no liabilities. You have long term thinking. You also have diversified savings like PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and direct stocks. That shows clarity and discipline. This approach builds wealth with less stress over time.

You also started systematic investments in equity funds. That is a positive step. Your selection covers multiple categories like large cap, mid cap, small cap, flexi cap, hybrid and precious metals. So the intent is right. You are trying to create a broad portfolio. That gives balance.

» Your Portfolio Composition Understanding
Your current SIP list includes:

Small cap

Mid cap

Flexi cap

Large cap

Large and mid cap

Hybrid category

Gold and Silver FoF

Equity and Debt allocation fund

Dynamic hybrid fund

This shows you are trying to cover many segments. But too many categories can create overlap. When there is overlap, you get confusion during review. It also makes portfolio discipline difficult. You may think you are diversified. But the holdings inside may repeat. That reduces efficiency.

Your portfolio now looks like:

Equity dominant

Hybrid for stability

Metals for hedge

So the broad direction is fine. But simplifying helps in long-term habit building.

» Fund Category Duplication
You hold:

Two flexi cap funds

One large and mid cap fund

One pure large cap fund

One mid cap fund

One small cap fund

Flexi cap funds already invest across large, mid, small. Then large and mid also overlaps. So the large cap exposure gets repeated. That may not add extra benefit. But it increases monitoring complexity.

So I suggest rationalising. Keep one fund per category in core. Keep satellite space for only high conviction.

» Core and Satellite Strategy
A structured portfolio follows core and satellite method.

Core portfolio should be:

Simple

Long term

Stable

Satellite portfolio can be:

High growth

Concentrated

Based on your thinking level, you can structure like this:

Core funds:

One large cap

One flexi cap

One hybrid equity and debt fund

One balanced advantage type fund

Satellite funds:

One mid cap

One small cap

One metal allocation if needed

This division gives clarity. You can continue SIPs with review every year. No need to stop and restart often. That reduces behavioural mistakes.

» Your Current SIP List Review with Suggested Streamlining

You can consider continuing:

One flexi cap

One large cap

One mid cap

One small cap

One balanced advantage

One equity and debt hybrid

You may reconsider keeping both flexi caps and both gold silver funds. One of each category is enough. Because too many funds do not increase returns. It complicates tracking.

Precious metal funds should not be more than 5 to 7 percent in your portfolio. This is because metals are hedge assets. They do not create compounding like equity. They act as protection during cycles. So keep them small.

» How to Use the Rs 6 Lakh Lump Sum
You asked about lump sum investing. This is important. Lump sum should not go fully into equity at one time. Markets move in cycles. So use a staggered method. You can invest the lump sum through STP (Systematic Transfer Plan). You can keep the amount in a liquid fund and set STP toward your chosen growth funds over 6 to 12 months.

This reduces timing risk. It also creates discipline. So your Rs 6 lakh can be deployed gradually. You may use 50% towards core equity funds and 30% toward satellite growth category. The remaining 20% can go into hybrid category. This gives balance and comfort.

» Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
One important point many investors miss. Direct funds look cheaper. But they demand deep knowledge, discipline, and behaviour control. Most investors lose more through emotional selling and wrong timing than they save on expense ratio.

With regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor with Certified Financial Planner qualification, you get guidance, structure and correction. The advisory discipline protects you during market extremes. That is more valuable than a small saving in expense ratio.

A personalised planner also tracks portfolio drift, rebalancing need and category shifts. So regular fund investing gives long-term benefit and behaviour coaching.

» Actively Managed Funds over Index or ETF
Some investors choose index funds or ETF thinking they are simple and cheap. But they ignore drawbacks.

Index funds or ETF will not avoid weak companies in the index. They will invest whether the company grows or struggles. There is no fund manager decision making. So when markets are at peak, index funds continue aggressive exposure. In downturns also they fall fully. There is no cushion.

Actively managed funds work with research teams. They can avoid bad sectors. They can shift allocation based on market and economy. Over long term, this gives better alpha and stability. So continuing with actively managed funds creates better wealth compounding.

» SIP Continuation Strategy
Once the rationalisation is done, continue SIPs every month without interruption. Pause and restart behaviour damages compounding power. SIP works best when you go through all market cycles. You benefit more during corrections because cost averaging works.

So continue SIP amount. You can also review SIP increase every year based on income. Increasing SIP by 10 to 15 percent every year helps you reach large corpus faster.

» Asset Allocation Based Approach
One key point in wealth creation is having the right asset mix. Equity gives growth. Hybrid gives balance. Metals give hedge. Debt gives safety. Your asset allocation should stay aligned to your risk profile and time horizon.

Since you are young and have long term horizon, higher equity allocation is fine. But as time moves, rebalancing is important. Rebalancing protects gains and restores allocation.

So review your asset allocation every year or during major life events like child birth, home buying or retirement planning.

» Behaviour Management
Many portfolios fail not due to bad funds. They fail due to bad decisions. Selling during correction. Stopping SIP when market falls. Chasing past return performance. These mistakes reduce wealth.

Your discipline so far is good. Continue to stay patient during volatility. Equity rewards patience and time.

» Financial Goals Clarity
Since you have no children now, you can decide your long-term goals. Typical goals may include:

Retirement

Future child education

Dream lifestyle purchase

Health care reserves

When goals are clear, investment purpose becomes stronger. So you can map each fund category to goal horizon. Short-term goals should not use equity. Long-term goals should use equity with hybrid support.

» Role of Review and Monitoring
Review once in a year is enough. Frequent review can create anxiety. Annual review helps check:

Fund performance

Expense drift

Category relevance

Allocation balance

Then adjust only if needed. This progress helps you stay confident and aligned.

» Taxation Awareness
Equity mutual funds taxation rules are:

Short term (below one year holding) taxable at 20 percent

Long term (above one year holding) gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxable at 12.5 percent

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.

So always hold equity funds for long term. That reduces tax impact and gives better growth.

» SIP Increase Plan
You can create a simple plan to increase SIP over time. For example:

Increase SIP at every salary increment

Increase SIP during bonus time

Use rewards or extra income for investing

This habit accelerates wealth. So by the time you reach 45 to 50 years, your investments could reach a strong level.

» Insurance and Protection
Before investing large, ensure you have term insurance and health insurance. If not already done, it is important. Insurance protects wealth. Without insurance, even a small medical event can impact investment plan. So review this part also. Since you are married, cover both.

» Wealth Behaviour Mindset
You are already disciplined. Just keep these simple principles:

Invest without stopping

Review once a year

Avoid funds overlap

Follow asset allocation

Avoid reacting to media noise

This helps you reach long term milestones.

» Finally
You are on the right track. Only fine tuning and simplification is needed. Your discipline is visible. Your portfolio will grow well with structure, patience and periodic review. Use the Rs 6 lakh with STP approach. And continue SIP with rationalised categories.

With time and consistency, wealth creation becomes effortless and peaceful. You just need to stay committed and avoid overthinking during market movements.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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