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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 26, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Anu, I saw your podcast on Rediff Are you being forced into marriage? My cousin is deeply in love with someone from her college. Both are 21, recently graduated. My uncle has clearly refused to accept them and is planning to send her abroad to live with our great uncle in Canada. We are a conservative family. Once she reaches Canada they plan to marry her off because she is being emotionally manipulated by our family. I know because I went through something similar. I couldn't contact my boyfriend and he was sent away to another city to look for a job. I waited for him but we couldn't communicate. Thankfully my husband understood and gave me time to accept him. I don't want to take that risk for my sister. I really want to help my cousin as her Canadian visa has already arrived. The boy belongs to a poor family and doesn't have a job yet. He has two elder sisters who are also dependent on him. He is a loving, hard working guy but they will need a few years to be financially independent. How can I help my sister? Please help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 21, love, marriage and without financial independence. Very filmy it all seems, right? Sadly those movies don't talk about how to survive without money or how to actually become financially independent.

Kindly guide your sister to get academically strong and find a job, so that she can support herself first. For this, she is going to have to buy time and possibly will be asked by her parents to stay away from her boyfriend as well. So, ask her to buy time now and request her parents to wait until she finishes her studies...it's worth taking that risk, waiting...so that both can be financially sound and then the boy can approach your cousin for marriage. Right now, why do you think the parents will agree! The boy is 21 and does not earn...why would or should your cousin's parents accept him? They are concerned for their daughter; can you blame them?

By being stubborn about this, the parents are only going to get more firm about it and the chances of your cousin being with her boyfriend will be difficult.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 25, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello,this is about a very close relative who has suddenly found that her husband,a highly placed government official,has fallen for an attractive news reporter,and is bent upon marrying her at any cost. He confessed that he has not been doing a right thing but is feeling helpless in the matter. He is forcing her to sign for mutual divorce as well,but the wife has refused point blank. They have a kid,just 4 years old with a medical issue,and his care requires both the parents to be together.The lady doesn’t work and is totally dependent on her husband’s income and house. Kindly advise some remedial actions for the lady.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If there is no scope for reconciliation, then legal recourse is the only way out.
Even if the husband wants divorce as mutual consent but the wife wants to contest it, she can...
Consult with a lawyer who will guide her about her rights and also on how to protect her interests and that of the child. Since she is not financially independent and the child also needs to be cared for, a lot can be done to ensure this through legal systems.

Having said this, do let her know that living in a loveless marriage isn't going to help her...she will have to endure more of his escapades that will drain her emotionally...never beg to be ion someone's life...It does not come with respect and it will be a strain to live through such relationships. It is difficult to process now, but in the long term, she will feel better about taking a stronger stance.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

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Relationship
I am my cousin sister are in serious relationship with each other for 7 years. My and her mother are cousins. We both want to marry with each other but we know our parents never agree for this at any cost. I am a government employee. We want to marry against our family how can we approach it? Plz tell.
Ans: Given your long relationship of seven years, your bond seems strong, which is a good foundation for moving forward. However, it’s also important to be realistic about the potential fallout from family disapproval. You may want to try having a calm, private discussion with your parents, explaining that this relationship has developed over time and is not a rash decision. Focus on expressing your genuine commitment to each other and the values that you share, rather than just defending the relationship itself. They may still oppose, but at least you've shown maturity in your approach.

If family opposition remains intense, and you both are determined to move forward, you might have to proceed independently and elope or register the marriage without their blessing. Understand that this could create a rift for some time, so you’ll need to rely heavily on each other for emotional support. Over time, many families soften when they see their children are happy and stable, but that’s not always guaranteed. It’s important to make sure you're both fully prepared for the consequences, both emotionally and socially.

Also, considering professional counseling might help you both navigate this difficult situation, especially in balancing your relationship and family dynamics. Ultimately, staying strong and united as a couple will be key to overcoming whatever challenges lie ahead.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 25, 2025

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Relationship
We all come from a Pandit's house. Even today, there is a proposal for arranging marriage here. While seeing that, I saw a relation for my elder sister. It is the best according to me, but my sister has to pay my own money.Sister should be married as per one's choice in which anyone would be happy because there is no blessing of mother and father, no one is with him, even the boy is not right, then that thing, hmm, we all are ready to abandon the family, what are you people My sister wants to marry in another caste and my parents are against it. What should we do at this time when our sister is ready to cheat people. Didi is ready to leave everyone. She has liked the wrong boy once again. In the end, she even ran away from home for him. Our family was disgraced even then I was with her, but now our father is a weakling at heart. What should we do for him?
Ans: Dear AyNidhi,
Your sister has looked out for her own happiness. Why is that a bad thing especially when it is breaking old barriers in a modern world? Agreed you come from a Pandit's house, but to expect everyone of this day and age to follow rigid rules is a bit difficult, don;t you think?
Now you seem to be aligned with what your family treats as traditions...but not your sisters...does that make them bad or wrong? I understand that this is going to be difficult for you to accept and understand but when you start valuing relationships over rigid family traditions, you might be able to appreciate your sisters better. They are rebelling only because there is no way out...maybe you could start to take on the role of an understanding brother and then see...
As for your father, hard on him, but he has to really start living in this day and age...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 28, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Madam, I am seeking your advice regarding my brother’s situation, as our family is going through a very difficult time. My brother was in a relationship with a girl who is 14 years younger than him. Their relationship began when the girl was very young — possibly in her early teens, around the time she was studying in 8th standard. What seemed like an early-age attraction eventually continued for more than 10 years. The girl’s family was aware of their relationship, but our family came to know about it only later. After nearly a decade of being together, my brother told us that he wanted to marry her. This came as a shock to us, and initially, our family (my parents, my sister, and I) did not agree to the marriage due to several reasons — including the significant age gap and the emotional immaturity that often comes with such early relationships. For two years, we tried to convince him to reconsider his decision, but he was determined to go ahead. Eventually, we accepted his choice, and the marriage took place. Unfortunately, after the wedding, they never lived together — not even for a single day. Soon after the marriage, the girl left to prepare for exams for about eight months. Over time, she completed her master’s degree and seemed to have developed a new perspective on life. Later, she informed him that she no longer wished to continue the marriage, saying she had lost her feelings for him and wanted a divorce. My brother still loves her deeply and wishes to continue the relationship. He is even ready to accept all her conditions, including her desire to work. However, the girl remains firm on her decision to end the marriage. Both families have now consulted lawyers, and while the girl’s family is pressing for a divorce, my brother continues to hope that she will change her mind and return. He is now 39 years old, and our family is very concerned about his emotional and mental well-being. He has become withdrawn, unable to move on, and still lives in the hope of reconciliation. Our aged parents are deeply distressed, seeing him suffer and unwilling to accept reality. We sincerely seek your guidance on how we can help him let go of the past, accept the situation, and rebuild his life with peace and positivity. Thank you for your time and advice.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You cannot convince someone who does not want to be convinced. Surround him with a lot of love and let him live with you all if that is possible; that way he will not be alone and coping from this separation can begin.
Sadly, you must let him go through the bitter truth which he wishes to avoid. He already realizes that what he wants is going to be impossible and by remaining stubborn about it, he is trying to avoid the pain. It will at some point dawn on him and he will breakdown this fake hope which will also 'break' his dreams about a life together with her.
If you want this difficult phase to be handled by a professional, please do so...right now the way it seems, he does not want to hear anything against his wife or the marriage from any of you...so, seek help if necessary.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10872 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir/Ma'am, I need some guidance and advice for continuing my mutual fund investments. I am a 36 year old male, married, no kids yet and no debts/liabilities as such. I have couple of savings in PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and long term investing in direct stocks. I recently started below mentioned SIPs for long term to grow wealth. Request you to review the same and let me know if I should continue with the SIPs or need to rationalize. Kindly also advice on how to invest a lumpsum amount of around 6lacs. invesco small cap 2000 motilal oswal midcap 2700 parag parikh flexicap 3000 HDFC flexicap 3100 ICICI prudential largecap 3100 HDFC large and midcap 3100 HDFC gold etf FOF 2000 ICICI Pru equity and debt fund 3000 HDFC balanced advantage fund 3000 nippon india silver etf FOF 2000
Ans: You already built a solid foundation. Many investors delay planning. But you started early at 36. That gives you a strong advantage. You have no liabilities. You have long term thinking. You also have diversified savings like PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and direct stocks. That shows clarity and discipline. This approach builds wealth with less stress over time.

You also started systematic investments in equity funds. That is a positive step. Your selection covers multiple categories like large cap, mid cap, small cap, flexi cap, hybrid and precious metals. So the intent is right. You are trying to create a broad portfolio. That gives balance.

» Your Portfolio Composition Understanding
Your current SIP list includes:

Small cap

Mid cap

Flexi cap

Large cap

Large and mid cap

Hybrid category

Gold and Silver FoF

Equity and Debt allocation fund

Dynamic hybrid fund

This shows you are trying to cover many segments. But too many categories can create overlap. When there is overlap, you get confusion during review. It also makes portfolio discipline difficult. You may think you are diversified. But the holdings inside may repeat. That reduces efficiency.

Your portfolio now looks like:

Equity dominant

Hybrid for stability

Metals for hedge

So the broad direction is fine. But simplifying helps in long-term habit building.

» Fund Category Duplication
You hold:

Two flexi cap funds

One large and mid cap fund

One pure large cap fund

One mid cap fund

One small cap fund

Flexi cap funds already invest across large, mid, small. Then large and mid also overlaps. So the large cap exposure gets repeated. That may not add extra benefit. But it increases monitoring complexity.

So I suggest rationalising. Keep one fund per category in core. Keep satellite space for only high conviction.

» Core and Satellite Strategy
A structured portfolio follows core and satellite method.

Core portfolio should be:

Simple

Long term

Stable

Satellite portfolio can be:

High growth

Concentrated

Based on your thinking level, you can structure like this:

Core funds:

One large cap

One flexi cap

One hybrid equity and debt fund

One balanced advantage type fund

Satellite funds:

One mid cap

One small cap

One metal allocation if needed

This division gives clarity. You can continue SIPs with review every year. No need to stop and restart often. That reduces behavioural mistakes.

» Your Current SIP List Review with Suggested Streamlining

You can consider continuing:

One flexi cap

One large cap

One mid cap

One small cap

One balanced advantage

One equity and debt hybrid

You may reconsider keeping both flexi caps and both gold silver funds. One of each category is enough. Because too many funds do not increase returns. It complicates tracking.

Precious metal funds should not be more than 5 to 7 percent in your portfolio. This is because metals are hedge assets. They do not create compounding like equity. They act as protection during cycles. So keep them small.

» How to Use the Rs 6 Lakh Lump Sum
You asked about lump sum investing. This is important. Lump sum should not go fully into equity at one time. Markets move in cycles. So use a staggered method. You can invest the lump sum through STP (Systematic Transfer Plan). You can keep the amount in a liquid fund and set STP toward your chosen growth funds over 6 to 12 months.

This reduces timing risk. It also creates discipline. So your Rs 6 lakh can be deployed gradually. You may use 50% towards core equity funds and 30% toward satellite growth category. The remaining 20% can go into hybrid category. This gives balance and comfort.

» Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
One important point many investors miss. Direct funds look cheaper. But they demand deep knowledge, discipline, and behaviour control. Most investors lose more through emotional selling and wrong timing than they save on expense ratio.

With regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor with Certified Financial Planner qualification, you get guidance, structure and correction. The advisory discipline protects you during market extremes. That is more valuable than a small saving in expense ratio.

A personalised planner also tracks portfolio drift, rebalancing need and category shifts. So regular fund investing gives long-term benefit and behaviour coaching.

» Actively Managed Funds over Index or ETF
Some investors choose index funds or ETF thinking they are simple and cheap. But they ignore drawbacks.

Index funds or ETF will not avoid weak companies in the index. They will invest whether the company grows or struggles. There is no fund manager decision making. So when markets are at peak, index funds continue aggressive exposure. In downturns also they fall fully. There is no cushion.

Actively managed funds work with research teams. They can avoid bad sectors. They can shift allocation based on market and economy. Over long term, this gives better alpha and stability. So continuing with actively managed funds creates better wealth compounding.

» SIP Continuation Strategy
Once the rationalisation is done, continue SIPs every month without interruption. Pause and restart behaviour damages compounding power. SIP works best when you go through all market cycles. You benefit more during corrections because cost averaging works.

So continue SIP amount. You can also review SIP increase every year based on income. Increasing SIP by 10 to 15 percent every year helps you reach large corpus faster.

» Asset Allocation Based Approach
One key point in wealth creation is having the right asset mix. Equity gives growth. Hybrid gives balance. Metals give hedge. Debt gives safety. Your asset allocation should stay aligned to your risk profile and time horizon.

Since you are young and have long term horizon, higher equity allocation is fine. But as time moves, rebalancing is important. Rebalancing protects gains and restores allocation.

So review your asset allocation every year or during major life events like child birth, home buying or retirement planning.

» Behaviour Management
Many portfolios fail not due to bad funds. They fail due to bad decisions. Selling during correction. Stopping SIP when market falls. Chasing past return performance. These mistakes reduce wealth.

Your discipline so far is good. Continue to stay patient during volatility. Equity rewards patience and time.

» Financial Goals Clarity
Since you have no children now, you can decide your long-term goals. Typical goals may include:

Retirement

Future child education

Dream lifestyle purchase

Health care reserves

When goals are clear, investment purpose becomes stronger. So you can map each fund category to goal horizon. Short-term goals should not use equity. Long-term goals should use equity with hybrid support.

» Role of Review and Monitoring
Review once in a year is enough. Frequent review can create anxiety. Annual review helps check:

Fund performance

Expense drift

Category relevance

Allocation balance

Then adjust only if needed. This progress helps you stay confident and aligned.

» Taxation Awareness
Equity mutual funds taxation rules are:

Short term (below one year holding) taxable at 20 percent

Long term (above one year holding) gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxable at 12.5 percent

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.

So always hold equity funds for long term. That reduces tax impact and gives better growth.

» SIP Increase Plan
You can create a simple plan to increase SIP over time. For example:

Increase SIP at every salary increment

Increase SIP during bonus time

Use rewards or extra income for investing

This habit accelerates wealth. So by the time you reach 45 to 50 years, your investments could reach a strong level.

» Insurance and Protection
Before investing large, ensure you have term insurance and health insurance. If not already done, it is important. Insurance protects wealth. Without insurance, even a small medical event can impact investment plan. So review this part also. Since you are married, cover both.

» Wealth Behaviour Mindset
You are already disciplined. Just keep these simple principles:

Invest without stopping

Review once a year

Avoid funds overlap

Follow asset allocation

Avoid reacting to media noise

This helps you reach long term milestones.

» Finally
You are on the right track. Only fine tuning and simplification is needed. Your discipline is visible. Your portfolio will grow well with structure, patience and periodic review. Use the Rs 6 lakh with STP approach. And continue SIP with rationalised categories.

With time and consistency, wealth creation becomes effortless and peaceful. You just need to stay committed and avoid overthinking during market movements.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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