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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 26, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Anu, I saw your podcast on Rediff Are you being forced into marriage? My cousin is deeply in love with someone from her college. Both are 21, recently graduated. My uncle has clearly refused to accept them and is planning to send her abroad to live with our great uncle in Canada. We are a conservative family. Once she reaches Canada they plan to marry her off because she is being emotionally manipulated by our family. I know because I went through something similar. I couldn't contact my boyfriend and he was sent away to another city to look for a job. I waited for him but we couldn't communicate. Thankfully my husband understood and gave me time to accept him. I don't want to take that risk for my sister. I really want to help my cousin as her Canadian visa has already arrived. The boy belongs to a poor family and doesn't have a job yet. He has two elder sisters who are also dependent on him. He is a loving, hard working guy but they will need a few years to be financially independent. How can I help my sister? Please help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 21, love, marriage and without financial independence. Very filmy it all seems, right? Sadly those movies don't talk about how to survive without money or how to actually become financially independent.

Kindly guide your sister to get academically strong and find a job, so that she can support herself first. For this, she is going to have to buy time and possibly will be asked by her parents to stay away from her boyfriend as well. So, ask her to buy time now and request her parents to wait until she finishes her studies...it's worth taking that risk, waiting...so that both can be financially sound and then the boy can approach your cousin for marriage. Right now, why do you think the parents will agree! The boy is 21 and does not earn...why would or should your cousin's parents accept him? They are concerned for their daughter; can you blame them?

By being stubborn about this, the parents are only going to get more firm about it and the chances of your cousin being with her boyfriend will be difficult.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 25, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello,this is about a very close relative who has suddenly found that her husband,a highly placed government official,has fallen for an attractive news reporter,and is bent upon marrying her at any cost. He confessed that he has not been doing a right thing but is feeling helpless in the matter. He is forcing her to sign for mutual divorce as well,but the wife has refused point blank. They have a kid,just 4 years old with a medical issue,and his care requires both the parents to be together.The lady doesn’t work and is totally dependent on her husband’s income and house. Kindly advise some remedial actions for the lady.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If there is no scope for reconciliation, then legal recourse is the only way out.
Even if the husband wants divorce as mutual consent but the wife wants to contest it, she can...
Consult with a lawyer who will guide her about her rights and also on how to protect her interests and that of the child. Since she is not financially independent and the child also needs to be cared for, a lot can be done to ensure this through legal systems.

Having said this, do let her know that living in a loveless marriage isn't going to help her...she will have to endure more of his escapades that will drain her emotionally...never beg to be ion someone's life...It does not come with respect and it will be a strain to live through such relationships. It is difficult to process now, but in the long term, she will feel better about taking a stronger stance.

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

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Relationship
I am my cousin sister are in serious relationship with each other for 7 years. My and her mother are cousins. We both want to marry with each other but we know our parents never agree for this at any cost. I am a government employee. We want to marry against our family how can we approach it? Plz tell.
Ans: Given your long relationship of seven years, your bond seems strong, which is a good foundation for moving forward. However, it’s also important to be realistic about the potential fallout from family disapproval. You may want to try having a calm, private discussion with your parents, explaining that this relationship has developed over time and is not a rash decision. Focus on expressing your genuine commitment to each other and the values that you share, rather than just defending the relationship itself. They may still oppose, but at least you've shown maturity in your approach.

If family opposition remains intense, and you both are determined to move forward, you might have to proceed independently and elope or register the marriage without their blessing. Understand that this could create a rift for some time, so you’ll need to rely heavily on each other for emotional support. Over time, many families soften when they see their children are happy and stable, but that’s not always guaranteed. It’s important to make sure you're both fully prepared for the consequences, both emotionally and socially.

Also, considering professional counseling might help you both navigate this difficult situation, especially in balancing your relationship and family dynamics. Ultimately, staying strong and united as a couple will be key to overcoming whatever challenges lie ahead.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 25, 2025

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Relationship
We all come from a Pandit's house. Even today, there is a proposal for arranging marriage here. While seeing that, I saw a relation for my elder sister. It is the best according to me, but my sister has to pay my own money.Sister should be married as per one's choice in which anyone would be happy because there is no blessing of mother and father, no one is with him, even the boy is not right, then that thing, hmm, we all are ready to abandon the family, what are you people My sister wants to marry in another caste and my parents are against it. What should we do at this time when our sister is ready to cheat people. Didi is ready to leave everyone. She has liked the wrong boy once again. In the end, she even ran away from home for him. Our family was disgraced even then I was with her, but now our father is a weakling at heart. What should we do for him?
Ans: Dear AyNidhi,
Your sister has looked out for her own happiness. Why is that a bad thing especially when it is breaking old barriers in a modern world? Agreed you come from a Pandit's house, but to expect everyone of this day and age to follow rigid rules is a bit difficult, don;t you think?
Now you seem to be aligned with what your family treats as traditions...but not your sisters...does that make them bad or wrong? I understand that this is going to be difficult for you to accept and understand but when you start valuing relationships over rigid family traditions, you might be able to appreciate your sisters better. They are rebelling only because there is no way out...maybe you could start to take on the role of an understanding brother and then see...
As for your father, hard on him, but he has to really start living in this day and age...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 28, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Madam, I am seeking your advice regarding my brother’s situation, as our family is going through a very difficult time. My brother was in a relationship with a girl who is 14 years younger than him. Their relationship began when the girl was very young — possibly in her early teens, around the time she was studying in 8th standard. What seemed like an early-age attraction eventually continued for more than 10 years. The girl’s family was aware of their relationship, but our family came to know about it only later. After nearly a decade of being together, my brother told us that he wanted to marry her. This came as a shock to us, and initially, our family (my parents, my sister, and I) did not agree to the marriage due to several reasons — including the significant age gap and the emotional immaturity that often comes with such early relationships. For two years, we tried to convince him to reconsider his decision, but he was determined to go ahead. Eventually, we accepted his choice, and the marriage took place. Unfortunately, after the wedding, they never lived together — not even for a single day. Soon after the marriage, the girl left to prepare for exams for about eight months. Over time, she completed her master’s degree and seemed to have developed a new perspective on life. Later, she informed him that she no longer wished to continue the marriage, saying she had lost her feelings for him and wanted a divorce. My brother still loves her deeply and wishes to continue the relationship. He is even ready to accept all her conditions, including her desire to work. However, the girl remains firm on her decision to end the marriage. Both families have now consulted lawyers, and while the girl’s family is pressing for a divorce, my brother continues to hope that she will change her mind and return. He is now 39 years old, and our family is very concerned about his emotional and mental well-being. He has become withdrawn, unable to move on, and still lives in the hope of reconciliation. Our aged parents are deeply distressed, seeing him suffer and unwilling to accept reality. We sincerely seek your guidance on how we can help him let go of the past, accept the situation, and rebuild his life with peace and positivity. Thank you for your time and advice.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You cannot convince someone who does not want to be convinced. Surround him with a lot of love and let him live with you all if that is possible; that way he will not be alone and coping from this separation can begin.
Sadly, you must let him go through the bitter truth which he wishes to avoid. He already realizes that what he wants is going to be impossible and by remaining stubborn about it, he is trying to avoid the pain. It will at some point dawn on him and he will breakdown this fake hope which will also 'break' his dreams about a life together with her.
If you want this difficult phase to be handled by a professional, please do so...right now the way it seems, he does not want to hear anything against his wife or the marriage from any of you...so, seek help if necessary.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10854 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.
Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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