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Intercaste Marriage: Torn Between Family Tradition and Sister's Happiness

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1535 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 25, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
AyNidhi Question by AyNidhi on Feb 18, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

We all come from a Pandit's house. Even today, there is a proposal for arranging marriage here. While seeing that, I saw a relation for my elder sister. It is the best according to me, but my sister has to pay my own money.Sister should be married as per one's choice in which anyone would be happy because there is no blessing of mother and father, no one is with him, even the boy is not right, then that thing, hmm, we all are ready to abandon the family, what are you people My sister wants to marry in another caste and my parents are against it. What should we do at this time when our sister is ready to cheat people. Didi is ready to leave everyone. She has liked the wrong boy once again. In the end, she even ran away from home for him. Our family was disgraced even then I was with her, but now our father is a weakling at heart. What should we do for him?

Ans: Dear AyNidhi,
Your sister has looked out for her own happiness. Why is that a bad thing especially when it is breaking old barriers in a modern world? Agreed you come from a Pandit's house, but to expect everyone of this day and age to follow rigid rules is a bit difficult, don;t you think?
Now you seem to be aligned with what your family treats as traditions...but not your sisters...does that make them bad or wrong? I understand that this is going to be difficult for you to accept and understand but when you start valuing relationships over rigid family traditions, you might be able to appreciate your sisters better. They are rebelling only because there is no way out...maybe you could start to take on the role of an understanding brother and then see...
As for your father, hard on him, but he has to really start living in this day and age...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam, I am in relationship with a guy who is from different caste. It's been three years but his family is not agreeing due to family status and intercaste. My family is ready as I am the eldest daughter of my family and unturned 30 this year. I have no time but he can't marry me without his parents concent. My family is searching a boy for my marriage. I can't marry with another guy. what shall I do to marry him to convince his family or what should he do his monther is so rigid. Please ???? support us what should we do? Two lives will be spoiled bcz of this. The only problem is upper and lower caste.
Ans: Navigating a relationship where cultural norms and family expectations conflict is challenging, but it's crucial to approach it with empathy and patience.
You're deeply committed to your partner despite the pressure from his family due to caste differences. While your family supports your marriage, his family, especially his mother, is firm in their opposition. You're also facing time constraints and societal pressure, making the situation urgent and stressful.
Your partner needs to have ongoing, respectful conversations with his parents, emphasizing your love and commitment. He should explain why you are the right person for him and how you positively impact his life. Understanding and addressing their specific concerns, whether they are about societal judgment or family honor, is crucial.
Sharing personal stories and demonstrating the depth of your bond can help his parents see beyond the caste issue. Highlighting your shared values and how you both support each other can make your relationship more relatable to them.
Seek help from a trusted family member or friend who can mediate and help his parents see the relationship from a new perspective. A respected family elder who has navigated similar challenges can also be influential.
Changing deep-seated beliefs takes time. Your partner should continue to gently and persistently show his parents that his happiness lies with you. Patience will be key as they may need time to adjust to the idea
Engage with support groups or counselors experienced in intercaste relationships. They can provide valuable advice and emotional support.
Discuss potential scenarios if his parents don’t approve. Consider whether options like elopement or giving them time to come around could work for both of you. These conversations should be open and honest to ensure mutual understanding.

Throughout this process, maintain strong communication and support each other emotionally. Navigating these challenges together will strengthen your bond and help you both find a path forward that honors your relationship and family ties.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1535 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

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Mam I'm 27 and my partner is 30 , yes he is in good financial position, his family becakground is like us normal middle class jatt family and we are from teaching background brahman family, I have talked to them again last week they are saying he is low caste then us that's why they can't do that and also my sister think he is not good choice for me because his family live in village kind off area but they live in Agra normal area not like proper villages and he is not even forcing me to live there he is saying we will going to live in city because I have to work also and he is working he is saving up for buying flat for both of us , he is very understanding, suddenly today I know my sister say so many bad things about he used to do in college, she is married and they know each other from college but they were not close at all . My sister think they are not wealthy enough and my parents don't know that, now my mother knows I don't know what to do now , im going to talk to my mom about this situation. Please suggest how to talk to them to change there mind about casteism
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is not easy to change anyone's mind about a firm belief like caste, religion etc.
As I have mentioned earlier, you both have a huge task ahead of addressing your parents' concerns. Obviously, your parents are worried about their financial status and living conditions...
Address these concerns/worries first rather than trying to convince them. The roots cause must be in focus...just do that first...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8033 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 25, 2025

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I have following SIPs in my portfolio. I want to invest 30000 per month but can't understand how much money should I allocate in each SIP? SBI Technology Opportunities Fund Direct-Growth, Nippon India Consumption Fund Direct-Growth, SBI Long Term Equity Fund Direct Plan-Growth, Quant ELSS Tax Saver Fund Direct-Growth, ICICI Prudential BHARAT 22 FOF Direct - Growth, Quant Infrastructure Fund Direct-Growth, UTI Gold ETF FoF Direct - Growth, ICICI Prudential Silver ETF FoF Direct - Growth, ICICI Prudential Nifty 50 Index Direct Plan-Growth
Ans: You want to invest Rs 30,000 per month across multiple SIPs. Allocating funds efficiently is important for long-term wealth creation. Let’s evaluate your portfolio and decide the best allocation strategy.

Evaluating Your Current Portfolio
Your portfolio consists of the following categories:

Sectoral and thematic funds – Technology, consumption, infrastructure, Bharat 22
Tax-saving funds – ELSS funds
Gold and silver funds – Precious metal investments
Index funds – Passive investment approach
Each category has different risk, return potential, and diversification benefits. Let’s assess each one.

Sectoral and Thematic Funds
High-risk, high-reward investments – These funds invest in specific industries. Their performance depends on the growth of that sector.

Not suitable for large allocation – These funds are volatile and should be a small portion of your portfolio.

Recommended allocation: 15-20% of total SIP amount – Spread this amount across different sectors for better diversification.

Tax-Saving Funds (ELSS)
Helps in tax savings – Investments in these funds provide deductions under Section 80C.

Mandatory lock-in of three years – Ensure that you can stay invested for this duration.

Recommended allocation: 20-25% of total SIP amount – This depends on your tax planning needs.

Gold and Silver Funds
Acts as a hedge against inflation – Precious metals protect against economic downturns.

Volatility and long-term returns – Prices fluctuate, and returns may not always match equity funds.

Recommended allocation: 5-10% of total SIP amount – This prevents overexposure to metals.

Index Funds
Limited flexibility – These funds mirror an index and do not react to market changes.

Underperforms during volatile periods – Actively managed funds adapt better to market shifts.

Misses on alpha generation – Professional fund managers provide better stock selection.

Recommended allocation: Avoid completely – Actively managed funds are a better choice.

Optimal SIP Allocation Strategy
Based on the above evaluation, your Rs 30,000 monthly SIP can be divided as follows:

Actively managed diversified equity funds: Rs 12,000 (40%) – These funds provide long-term stability and higher growth potential.
ELSS tax-saving funds: Rs 6,000 (20%) – Helps in tax savings while investing in equity.
Sectoral and thematic funds: Rs 4,500 (15%) – Invest selectively in growing sectors.
Gold and silver funds: Rs 3,000 (10%) – Provides hedging benefits.
Infrastructure and Bharat 22 funds: Rs 4,500 (15%) – Exposure to government-driven sectors.
You can adjust these allocations based on your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Key Considerations Before Investing
Avoid overconcentration in any single theme – Too much investment in one sector increases risk.

Prioritise actively managed funds – These funds adapt to market conditions better than index funds.

Monitor performance regularly – Review your investments every six months.

Ensure diversification across sectors – A well-diversified portfolio reduces risk.

Finally
Your investment should align with your financial goals and risk appetite. A well-balanced SIP allocation improves returns and reduces volatility.

If needed, consult a Certified Financial Planner to refine your strategy further.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8033 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 25, 2025

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Sir for my son's education is it better to take loan or use my fd , i fall in 30 %IT slab. Pls adv
Ans: You are in the 30% tax slab. The choice between taking a loan or using your fixed deposit depends on multiple factors. Let’s evaluate both options from a financial and strategic perspective.

Benefits of Taking an Education Loan
Tax Benefits on Interest Paid

The interest paid on an education loan qualifies for a tax deduction under Section 80E. This benefit is available for up to eight years.

Since you fall in the 30% tax slab, this deduction can help reduce your taxable income.

Liquidity Retention

Keeping your fixed deposit intact ensures liquidity for emergencies and other financial goals.

Unexpected medical expenses or job loss can impact cash flow. A loan helps you maintain financial security.

Low-Interest Rates Compared to Other Loans

Education loans usually have lower interest rates than personal loans. Some banks also provide a moratorium period, during which repayment starts after course completion.

Credit Score Improvement

Timely repayment of the loan will improve your credit score. This can help in the future if you need to take another loan.

Disadvantages of Taking an Education Loan
Interest Outflow

Even though the tax benefit reduces the burden, you will still pay more than the actual loan amount due to interest.

If you can afford the expenses without affecting other goals, avoiding interest payments is better.

Loan Repayment Burden

If your son does not secure a high-paying job immediately, the repayment can become stressful.

You may have to step in to make EMI payments, affecting your retirement plans.

Benefits of Using Fixed Deposits
No Interest Outflow

By using your own funds, you avoid paying interest to the bank. The actual cost of education remains lower.

Peace of Mind

Without a loan, you won’t have to worry about monthly EMI payments. This ensures financial stability and mental peace.

Better Financial Freedom for Your Son

If you fund the education yourself, your son starts his career debt-free. This gives him more flexibility in career choices.

Disadvantages of Using Fixed Deposits
Loss of Liquidity

Using the fixed deposit will reduce your emergency funds. If another major expense arises, you may struggle to arrange funds quickly.

Impact on Other Financial Goals

If this fixed deposit was set aside for another financial goal, using it for education may delay that goal.

You need to evaluate whether this will affect your retirement or home purchase plans.

Tax on Fixed Deposit Interest

The interest earned on fixed deposits is fully taxable as per your slab. Since you are in the 30% slab, this reduces your net return.

Key Factors to Consider Before Deciding
Cash Flow Stability

If your monthly income and investments provide enough financial security, paying from the fixed deposit is a good option.

If not, an education loan can help manage cash flow better.

Alternative Investment Options

If your fixed deposit is earning lower returns than the loan interest rate, it makes sense to use it instead of taking a loan.

If your investments are growing at a higher rate than the loan interest, taking a loan is financially better.

Risk Tolerance

If you are comfortable managing debt and can benefit from the tax deduction, a loan can be a strategic decision.

If you prefer a risk-free approach, using your fixed deposit is the better choice.

Optimal Approach for You
Since you are in the 30% tax slab, an education loan can provide tax benefits.

However, if your fixed deposit is earning a lower return than the loan interest, using it can be financially smarter.

If liquidity is not a concern and your retirement plans remain unaffected, funding education yourself is a good choice.

A balanced approach is also possible. You can take a partial loan and use some of your fixed deposit. This way, you reduce the loan burden while keeping some liquidity.

Finally
Taking an education loan has tax benefits and keeps liquidity intact. However, it comes with interest costs and repayment obligations.

Using your fixed deposit saves interest but reduces liquidity and may impact other financial goals.

The decision depends on your financial stability, investment returns, and long-term goals.

A Certified Financial Planner can help structure your finances in the most tax-efficient way.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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