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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1540 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2021

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
A Question by A on Jul 15, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu,I am a regular rediff news reader.
I went through some of you post and I felt I can surely request you to help me in my situation.
We are married since February 2017. We had a pretty good life in terms of physical and emotional as well.
In Dec 2018 we had a child but after that there is a change in my wife's sexual behaviour.
She is willing to have sex; we do get involved as well also. We become passionate in kissing and all but unfortunately she doesn't get wet.
It's very difficult for me to keep my focus and I lose my erection.
Just want to ask you is this because of change in hormonal issue due to birth of child or is this something we need to seek a professional to help us.
She is really loving, caring and even she is disappointed with this.
We even had a conversation over this. I asked her if she is no more interested in sex or if she doesn't find (me) attractive. Her answer was 'nothing like that'. She is very happy with me as a husband.

Ans: Dear A, being a mother is a big blessing for a woman.

She transitions into a beautiful phase of her life. But with this comes the responsibility of caring for a new-born or in your case a toddle round the clock.

She hardly has the time to focus on being a wife with the constant feeding and changing of nappies.

Added to that is she’s working, then there’s additional office work besides also taking care of the household chores.

Also, a woman goes through a lot of changes in her body after the delivery and for a few women sex is off the cards for a while after that.

This could be because some women feel that their body is not what their husbands will love anymore and also her focus has shifted on to her baby who needs her love, care and support 24/7.

There is a bond between the mother and the child that at times can irk a few husbands who can translate that as feeling ignored and angry.

This is the time the new father can also spring into action and come together for his lady and his child.

Support your wife unconditionally and love her without any expectations in return

Offer to care for the baby so that she can take some time-off to rejuvenate herself

Encourage her to indulge in a hobby that she might have stopped because of the baby; this will help her be in a happy space

Compliment her and engage in a little off-the-bedroom intimacy like hugging, kissing and holding hands

Watch movies together and do a couple of things that bonded you as a couple before the baby arrived

Smile at her warmly and reassure her that no matter what nothing has changed and that she is still the woman that you loved and married

Does this work? Yes, it does…Love and reassurance can cause a lot of calmness in her and arouse her better in bed.

And if there’s something still amiss, then maybe you could talk to a gynecologist who can guide both of you on the next steps and rule out any medical challenges. All is well.

Simply be in Love. Wishing you and your family a beautiful life!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1540 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2023

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Relationship
Hi, I am 42 and my wife is 36. Been married for close to 9 years. Had our first princess in 2015 & second princess in 2019. Before having the second one, my wife had a very good sex drive both mentally & physically. We were having intercourse for at least 3 times a week. But over a period of course 3 years into post our second child being born, my wife has lost interest. Sex has been like may be once in 30 to 45 days. I am not forcing her but rather trying my best to have those Intimate moments like hugging tightly, kissing her, do a little bit of smooching, try to touch and kiss on sensitive areas like belly, feet, ear......parallel I am taking time to appreciate how caring she has been in respect to taking care of the family, complimenting her how beautiful she looks inside and outside, how much she is glowing, sometimes I take efforts to cook for her giving time offs and also I look after the kids, press her legs etc. but nothing is working and this desperacy is killing me inside so much that sometimes I have been getting false & weird thoughts in my mind to have an affair or go to a call girl. Need your advise on this....
Ans: Dear Chandra,
I am glad that you are putting in all efforts in a non-sexual manner which is what most people miss out on.
But since it isn't working, I think it could be just caring for two young children. It can sap a woman's/primary caregiver's energy to a point that intimacy is the last think on her mind.
You children are at an age where they are dependent on parents and also are full on energy with high demands. This could be the reason as well.
I would also suggest that with growing demands from the children in terms of time and attention, what might be overlooked is your wife has some vitamin deficiency which can lead to lethargy, lack of interest and more. My suggestion would be to visit a doctor who will write down specific tests that may get to the root of the problem.
Till then, be the supportive husband that you have been AND a call girl is a momentary rush of adrenaline; so be wise...

All the best!

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 26, 2025Hindi
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Mere pass Parag Parikh flexicap,Sbi mid cap, axis small cap ,Motilal Oswal midcap and Quant small cap fund hai in sabhi me meri SIP chal rahi hai, abhi Stock market me bahut correction hua hai mujhe lumsum investment karna hai toh inme se kis fund me karu..?
Ans: Investing a lump sum after a market correction can be a good opportunity. However, choosing the right funds requires proper analysis.

Assessing Your Current Portfolio
Flexi-cap fund: This fund invests across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. It provides diversification and stability.

Mid-cap funds: These funds invest in mid-sized companies. They offer high growth potential but come with more volatility.

Small-cap funds: These funds invest in smaller companies. They have the highest return potential but also the highest risk.

Your portfolio already has a mix of flexi-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. Adding more funds from the same categories may lead to over-diversification.

Factors to Consider Before Investing Lump Sum
Market correction does not mean all stocks are undervalued. Some stocks may still be expensive.

Mid-cap and small-cap funds are volatile. Investing lump sum in these funds can be risky.

If you have a high-risk appetite, invest in small-cap or mid-cap funds. However, avoid putting the entire amount in one fund.

If you want balanced growth, allocate more to flexi-cap funds. These funds can shift between large, mid, and small caps based on market conditions.

Instead of lump sum, consider a systematic transfer plan (STP). This helps in averaging the investment over time.

Where to Invest the Lump Sum?
If you want lower risk: Invest in a flexi-cap fund. It provides stability and long-term growth.

If you want moderate risk: Invest in a mid-cap fund. These funds have strong growth potential.

If you want higher risk and higher returns: Invest in a small-cap fund. However, stay invested for at least 7-10 years.

If you are unsure, split your investment. Invest in a mix of flexi-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Final Insights
Your portfolio already has exposure to different categories. Avoid adding too many funds.

A systematic transfer plan (STP) is better than lump sum investment in a volatile market.

Review your risk tolerance before investing in mid-cap and small-cap funds.

If markets fall further, consider staggered investing instead of putting all money at once.

Stay invested for the long term and review your portfolio regularly.

With the right strategy, your investments can grow steadily over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

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Iss time pe Flexicap,Midcap and Small Cap mutual funds kisme lumsum investment karna chahiye..?
Ans: Investing in flexi-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap mutual funds through lump sum requires careful analysis. Timing, market conditions, and personal financial goals should be considered before investing.

Understanding Market Conditions
Flexi-cap funds: These funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. Fund managers have the flexibility to shift allocation based on market trends.

Mid-cap funds: These funds invest in mid-sized companies. They have higher growth potential than large caps but come with more volatility.

Small-cap funds: These funds invest in smaller companies. They offer high return potential but carry the highest risk.

Current Market Scenario: Mid-cap and small-cap stocks have seen strong rallies. Investing through a systematic transfer plan (STP) may be better than a lump sum.

Best Approach for Lump Sum Investment
Avoid investing the entire amount at once. Markets can be volatile, and a sudden drop can impact your returns.

Use a systematic transfer plan (STP). Park the lump sum in a liquid fund and transfer it gradually into equity funds.

Diversify across market caps. Do not invest only in mid-cap and small-cap funds. Flexi-cap funds provide balanced exposure.

Check valuations before investing. If mid-cap and small-cap indices are trading at high valuations, wait for corrections.

Consider your risk tolerance. Mid-cap and small-cap funds are volatile. Invest only if you can stay invested for at least 7-10 years.

Which Category is Suitable for You?
If you want stable growth with lower risk: Invest in flexi-cap funds.

If you can handle moderate risk and aim for higher returns: Invest in mid-cap funds.

If you have a high-risk appetite and a long-term horizon: Invest in small-cap funds.

If markets are at high valuations: Invest in balanced advantage or hybrid funds instead of pure equity funds.

Final Insights
Investing in mid-cap and small-cap funds requires patience. Returns may be volatile in the short term.

A systematic transfer plan (STP) is better than lump sum investment in volatile markets.

Diversify across flexi-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds based on your risk profile.

Review your investments every year and rebalance if needed.

With the right strategy, your investment can grow steadily over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

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Hi Sir, I have 2 goals - Kindly review my portfolio and let me know if the asset allocation is good to go. Retirement: 10+ years, SIP Value: 15k per month Nippon India Index Nifty 50 growth direct plan - 50% Kotak Nifty Next 50 Index Growth Direct Plan - 15% Motilal Oswal Nifty Midcap 150 Index Fund - Direct Plan - 15% Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund - Direct Plan -20% 7 Year Goal (Education, Marriage and buying car): SIP: 28K per month I am confused which portfolio to proceed for this goal. Can you review and confirm which one is good to proceed. Portfolio 1: Nippon India Index Nifty 50 growth direct plan - 25% Kotak Nifty Next 50 Index Growth Direct Plan - 15% Parag Parikh Flexi Cap direct growth - 20% HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund - Direct Plan - 40% Portfolio 2: Parag Parikh Flexi Cap direct growth - 30% HDFC Flexi cap direct growth - 30% HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund - Direct Plan - 40%
Ans: Your investment approach is structured and goal-based, which is excellent. I will review your portfolio and suggest improvements for better diversification and risk management.

Retirement Portfolio (10+ Years Goal)
Your retirement portfolio has the following allocation:

50% in a Nifty 50 index fund
15% in a Nifty Next 50 index fund
15% in a midcap index fund
20% in a flexi-cap fund
Observations:

Overexposure to index funds: Index funds have limitations, such as being market-cap weighted. This may lead to inefficiencies, especially in volatile markets. Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform index funds.
High allocation to large caps: While large caps provide stability, they may not generate high returns in the long term.
Lack of small-cap exposure: Small caps have the potential for higher returns over a long period.
No international diversification: Adding international equity funds can reduce risk and enhance returns.
Recommended Changes:

Reduce index fund allocation and increase exposure to actively managed funds.
Increase flexi-cap and midcap exposure for better growth potential.
Consider adding a small-cap fund for higher long-term returns.
Allocate a small portion to an international equity fund.
7-Year Goal (Education, Marriage, and Car Purchase)
You are investing Rs 28,000 per month and considering two portfolios.

Portfolio 1:
25% in a Nifty 50 index fund
15% in a Nifty Next 50 index fund
20% in a flexi-cap fund
40% in a balanced advantage fund
Portfolio 2:
30% in a flexi-cap fund
30% in another flexi-cap fund
40% in a balanced advantage fund
Observations:

Index funds are not ideal for short-term goals: Index funds can be highly volatile in a 7-year timeframe. Actively managed funds provide better risk-adjusted returns.
Lack of debt allocation: A 7-year goal needs some debt exposure for stability. Balanced advantage funds offer some protection, but a dedicated debt fund is better.
Overdependence on balanced advantage funds: These funds adjust equity-debt allocation dynamically, but they may not be the best for all market conditions.
Recommended Approach:

Reduce index fund exposure and add actively managed multi-cap and midcap funds.
Allocate at least 20% to high-quality short-duration debt funds for stability.
Consider a hybrid fund that balances equity and debt more effectively.
Final Insights
Your goal-based approach is commendable. Some modifications will improve diversification, stability, and potential returns.

Reduce index fund exposure and add actively managed funds.
Increase exposure to midcap, flexi-cap, and small-cap funds for retirement.
Add a small international equity fund for diversification.
Introduce short-duration debt funds for your 7-year goal.
With these adjustments, your portfolio will be well-balanced and aligned with your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2025Hindi
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Money
I am 24, and I have around 1 lac in pf and 1.5 lac in mutual fund as I am investing around 25k per month, 70% in midcap and 30% in large cap, how to invest to have at least 1 crore before I turn 30?
Ans: You are 24 and already investing well. Your goal of Rs 1 crore before 30 is ambitious. You need the right strategy to achieve it.

Assessing Your Current Investments
You have Rs 1 lakh in PF and Rs 1.5 lakh in mutual funds.

You invest Rs 25,000 per month.

Your portfolio is 70% mid-cap and 30% large-cap.

Strengths in Your Investment Approach
You started early. This gives time for compounding.

You invest regularly. SIPs build discipline.

You have growth-focused funds. Mid-cap funds can give high returns.

Challenges to Achieving Rs 1 Crore in 6 Years
Market volatility. Mid-cap funds fluctuate more.

Time frame is short. Equity needs at least 7-10 years.

High return expectation. Achieving Rs 1 crore in 6 years is difficult.

Steps to Improve Your Strategy
Increase Investment Amount
Rs 25,000 per month may not be enough.

Try to increase it to Rs 35,000–40,000 per month.

Use yearly salary hikes to boost SIPs.

Balance Your Portfolio Better
Mid-caps are good but risky.

Reduce mid-cap exposure to 50%.

Increase large-cap allocation to 40%.

Add 10% flexi-cap funds for stability.

Use Lump Sum Investments
Invest any bonuses, increments, or extra income.

Avoid keeping too much in PF, as equity gives better returns.

Avoid Index Funds and Direct Plans
Index funds cannot outperform markets.

Active funds are managed by experts and can generate better returns.

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for the best selection.

Tax Considerations
LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

STCG is taxed at 20%.

Plan redemptions wisely to save tax.

Finally
Your goal is aggressive but possible with discipline. Increase your SIPs and maintain asset allocation. Invest wisely through Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and MFD. Stay focused, and you can reach your target.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2025Hindi
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Money
Mai 25 sal ka hu 6 sal nokri ho gye army mai shadi nahi ki abi 61000 pay hai samj nahi aa rahi kass investment kru
Ans: I will provide a detailed investment plan for you based on your age, income, and financial situation.

Financial Security Comes First
Emergency Fund: Keep at least 6 months' expenses in a bank FD or liquid mutual fund.

Health Insurance: Even if the army covers you, get a personal Rs 10-20 lakh health policy.

Term Insurance: If you have dependents, buy Rs 1 crore term insurance.

Investment Plan Based on Goals
Short-Term Goals (1-3 Years)
Keep funds in a bank FD or ultra-short-term mutual fund.

This is for urgent needs like a vehicle or course fees.

Medium-Term Goals (3-7 Years)
Invest in balanced mutual funds to grow wealth safely.

These funds balance risk and reward.

Long-Term Goals (7+ Years)
Invest in actively managed equity mutual funds through SIPs.

Choose a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds.

Avoid index funds, as they cannot outperform the market.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and MFD ensures better fund selection.

Asset Allocation for You
50% Equity Mutual Funds (for long-term wealth creation).

20% Balanced Mutual Funds (for medium-term stability).

20% Bank FD or Liquid Funds (for short-term needs).

10% Gold ETF or Sovereign Gold Bonds (for diversification).

Tax Considerations
Equity mutual fund gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term gains taxed at 20%.

Debt fund gains taxed as per your income slab.

FD interest is also taxable.

Finally
You are young and earning well. Start early to build wealth. Follow the right asset allocation. Investing with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) helps avoid mistakes. Stay invested for the long term.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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