Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Amar Question by Amar on May 08, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Dear Anu Madam, I was in physical relation ship for 2.5 yrs with one woman. We both have families. We met each either at her home or lodges. But suddenly 2 yrs back she stopped all things completely. But i have zero percentage sex life with my wife. So I am forcing her to continue it. But she is refusing for her family sake. So how can i covence her? Or may be it is not possible now.

Ans: Dear Amar,
Any relationship based only on sex will be short-lived. Also, the other lady has perhaps sensed a risk to her marriage and cut off all ties with you. Kindly respect it and move on...How can you convince someone who has clearly chosen her family over you?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 21, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Mam, I was in physical relation ship for 2.5 yrs with one woman. We both have families. We met each either at her home or lodges. But suddenly 2 yrs back she stopped all things completely. But i have zero percentage sex life with my wife. So I am forcing her to continue it. But she is refusing for her family sake. So how can i covence her? Or may be it is not possible now.
Ans: Dear Amar,
I understand that you're in a challenging and complex situation. It's important to recognize that attempting to force someone back into a relationship, especially one that was secretive and has since ended, is not ethical or respectful. The woman you were involved with has made it clear she wants to prioritize her family, and it's crucial to respect her decision.

Your frustration likely stems from a lack of fulfillment in your marriage, particularly regarding your sex life. This is a significant issue that needs to be addressed directly within the context of your marriage. Open and honest communication with your wife about your needs and concerns is essential. Express how you feel and discuss the impact it’s having on you emotionally and physically. It's possible that your wife might also have unspoken issues or concerns, and addressing these together can pave the way for a deeper understanding and connection.

Seeking professional help, such as a marriage counselor or therapist, can be incredibly beneficial. A neutral third party can facilitate conversations that might be difficult to have on your own and can provide tools and strategies to improve your intimacy and overall relationship.

Respecting boundaries is fundamental. The woman you were involved with has chosen to end the affair for her family's sake, and continuing to pressure her can cause significant harm to both her family and yours. It's important to let go and focus on the relationships that are truly sustainable and healthy.

Consider focusing on your personal growth and fulfillment outside of your relationship issues. Engaging in activities and interests that bring you joy can help alleviate some of your frustration and provide a new perspective on your needs and desires.

Ultimately, addressing the core issues in your marriage with empathy, respect, and professional support is the best approach. This way, you can work towards finding fulfillment and resolving the underlying issues in a constructive and respectful manner.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8356 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2025

Money
Dear Sir, i have 15 years service Balance, daughters 1 son, Daughters ages 17, 15, 8 respectively. My earnings is per month 1.5 L, lian Balance 6L it will be closed with in 12 months. Gold is 20L , PPF & SSY 35L, other asset 125L (House and land), Kindly advice my future plans.
Ans: You are earning Rs.1.5 lakh per month.



You have a loan of Rs.6 lakh, closing in 12 months.



You have 15 years of service remaining.



You have three children. Daughters aged 17, 15, and 8.



You have gold worth Rs.20 lakh.



You have Rs.35 lakh in PPF and SSY.



You have other assets like house and land worth Rs.1.25 crore.



Appreciating Your Financial Discipline

You are earning a good monthly income.



You are almost debt-free within a year.



You are saving in long-term and tax-saving instruments like PPF and SSY.



You have no mention of any risky liabilities or investments.



You are caring for three children’s future. That is truly responsible.



Short-Term Priorities (Next 1-3 Years)

Ensure your Rs.6 lakh loan is closed in 12 months as planned.



Start a proper emergency fund. Keep at least 6 months’ income.



Create term life insurance. Choose minimum 15-20 times your annual income.



Ensure you and family have sufficient health insurance. Minimum Rs.10 lakh per member.



Do not use gold for daily expenses. Keep it as an emergency backup.



Review SSY investments. Maximise benefit till each daughter turns 18.



Medium-Term Planning (3-8 Years)

First daughter will need higher education soon. Plan for this in advance.



Second daughter also will need education funds soon.



Start SIPs in equity mutual funds. They give better returns over long periods.



You can start SIPs through a certified mutual fund distributor.



Use regular plans through MFDs with CFP guidance. Avoid direct funds.



Direct funds require more time, tracking, and understanding. Regular funds give advisor help.



Plan each child’s higher education separately. Fix budget and timeline.



Do not depend on gold or property for this.



Long-Term Planning (10-15 Years)

Retirement planning is important from now.



You have 15 years of service left. Use this time wisely.



Try to build a corpus that replaces your current income after retirement.



Invest in actively managed equity mutual funds for long-term goals.



Avoid index funds. They do not protect downside well in falling markets.



Actively managed funds give better flexibility and better sector selection.



Plan for daughters’ marriages. Set aside separate investments for each goal.



Use long-term mutual funds. Avoid FDs for long goals. FD returns may not beat inflation.



Consider laddering your FD maturity for liquidity management.



Children’s Future Planning

Keep SSY till maximum allowed age. It gives fixed returns and tax benefit.



Use mutual funds for education, not marriage.



Marriage expenses can be met from gold. But do not depend fully on it.



Begin education goal SIPs immediately. Choose different SIPs for each child.



Let SIPs run for minimum 5-8 years.



Use STP from lump sum, if required. Avoid investing lump sum directly in equity.



Retirement Readiness

You should create a retirement corpus from now.



Do not plan to sell property for retirement. Keep retirement income independent.



Build a mutual fund portfolio. You have 15 years to build.



Monthly SIPs are useful. Increase SIP amount every year.



Review your investments every 6 months with a Certified Financial Planner.



Do not stop SIPs even during market falls. That gives good long-term benefit.



Estate and Will Planning

You have three children. Create a will soon.



Divide your assets equally. This avoids future conflicts.



Include gold, land, PPF, SSY and investments in your will.



Appoint executor and keep one nominee in each account.



Tax Efficiency

You have PPF and SSY. They give good tax saving.



You can save more tax by investing in ELSS mutual funds.



ELSS gives Section 80C benefit and better returns than FD.



For retirement, equity funds are tax efficient. LTCG is taxed only above Rs.1.25 lakh at 12.5%.



Debt funds are taxed as per your slab. So use equity for long term.



Insurance Planning

Life insurance is missing. Create term plan immediately.



Choose term cover till your retirement age.



Do not invest in ULIP or traditional plans.



They mix insurance with investment. Returns are low. Surrender if you already hold them.



Use pure term plan. Rest of your money should go to mutual funds.



Finally

You are doing well in terms of income and assets.



You have short, medium and long-term goals.



Start SIPs. Create separate SIPs for each goal.



Protect family with term insurance and health insurance.



Avoid direct equity. Use mutual funds through certified distributors.



Avoid traditional life insurance plans, index funds, and annuities.



Make will. Keep financial documents safe and accessible to spouse.



Take advice from a Certified Financial Planner for review every 6 months.



Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8356 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2025
Money
What is SIP, Can I start at the age of 55?
Ans: You are asking a very important question. Appreciate your curiosity.

Let’s go step by step.

What is SIP?
SIP means Systematic Investment Plan.

It is a way to invest small amounts every month in a mutual fund.

You can start with as low as Rs.500 per month.

The money gets auto-debited from your bank account.

It helps you build wealth slowly and steadily over time.

Can I Start SIP at Age 55?
Yes, absolutely. You can start SIP even at 55.

There is no age limit to start a SIP.

Many people start SIPs even in their 60s.

What matters more is your investment goal and time horizon.

What Are The Benefits of SIP?
Helps in building corpus gradually.

Gives benefit of rupee cost averaging.

You don’t need to time the market.

Helps in financial discipline.

Can be linked to your retirement goal.

Is SIP Risky?
It depends on where you invest the SIP.

If it’s equity mutual funds, there will be market ups and downs.

But if held for long, they can give better returns than FD or gold.

Debt mutual fund SIPs are more stable but give lower returns.

How Long Should I Stay Invested?
Try to stay invested for at least 5 to 10 years.

Even at age 55, you can stay invested till age 65 or 70.

Retirement doesn't mean stopping SIPs. You can continue post-retirement too, if income allows.

Where Should I Start SIP?
Since you asked, let me also highlight something important.

If someone told you to invest in direct mutual funds, here’s what you need to know:

Why Regular Mutual Funds are Better than Direct Funds for You?
Direct plans look cheaper, but they don’t give personal guidance.

At age 55, wrong fund choice can cost you years of savings.

Regular mutual funds bought through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offer ongoing review, advice, and goal-based support.

CFPs help you align investments with your needs—like retirement, health, or your son’s wedding.

The small fee involved in regular funds is worth the peace of mind and expert care.

Should You Do Equity or Debt SIP?
This depends on your needs.

If you have more than 7 years, then equity mutual funds are better.

If you need money in 3 to 5 years, then hybrid or debt funds are better.

Do not put all money in one category. Balance it.

SIP is Not a Product – It is a Mode
This is often misunderstood.

SIP is not a fund or product.

It is a way to invest in a fund in small regular steps.

You can do SIP in equity fund, debt fund, or hybrid fund.

Can I Stop SIP Anytime?
Yes. You can pause or stop SIP anytime.

You are not locked in (except for tax-saving SIPs).

Flexibility is a major advantage of SIPs.

Should You Start SIP at 55?
Yes, and here’s why:

You still have more than 25 years of life ahead.

Life expectancy is increasing. You need money even after retirement.

SIP gives you an edge to build that retirement income.

Don't wait for perfect time. Start small, and scale up later.

How to Start?
First, consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).

They will assess your goals, risks, and duration.

Then they will recommend right mutual funds and SIP amount.

Make sure the SIP aligns with your retirement income needs.

What Mistakes to Avoid?
Don’t go only by past performance.

Don’t do SIP in random funds or based on friends’ advice.

Avoid direct funds unless you can manage everything yourself.

Don’t withdraw early unless necessary.

What If You Need Monthly Income Later?
After few years, SIP can be turned into SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan).

SIP builds the wealth, SWP gives you monthly income post-retirement.

This helps create regular cash flow, like pension.

Final Insights
SIP is simple, flexible and useful at any age.

55 is not too late. It is a perfect time to start.

Retirement may come soon. Start preparing today with small, consistent steps.

SIP is not magic. It needs patience, time, and guidance.

Let your money work even when you rest.

Take professional support from a Certified Financial Planner. That ensures peace of mind.

Best Regards,
 
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
 
Chief Financial Planner,
 
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |642 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 14, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x