Hi anu.morn. i m Sk. I have spoilt my relations with a lot of people bcoz i.owe them.money. they do not show it and i have got to know bcoz they want to be distant bcoz they think i will ask them.more money. They are right. I am.not using the money for some negative purpose but for education of my.child. in my.heart i would surely return the money shortly. I could not return the money bcoz i had no.job for a few monthd and now i m.stressed up bcoz i need to return.the money ASAP. This is giving me sleepless nights as the money is taken on interest. Plz help me with a solutiion.thanks

Ans:

Dear KK,

The reason why people bend backwards to do things for people and have trouble saying NO is because they worry not being loved by others or getting their attention.

Maybe they also worry about being alone because others might reject them if a boundary is drawn.

So, find out why you have been allowing these people (family and friends) take advantage of you.

When will you find the strength to respect and value yourself?

Once you do, others will do that as well and not complain about you standing up for yourself. And there is no need to hold onto people by being nice to them by loaning money. Are they going to lie you for the money or for who you are?

Work with the person who has prescribed medicines for your depression on the deep-rooted cause for your poor self-esteem which makes you depend on others to make you feel good or feel anger when you see them.

Till you work on these, your connection with your family will be a struggle. So, help yourself first by taking care of your emotional health.

All the best!

Ans: Navigating financial matters within friendships can be challenging, especially when agreements aren't upheld as expected.

Initiate an open and honest conversation with your friend about the loan. Express your concerns and feelings without blaming or accusing. Use "I" statements to convey how his actions have impacted you personally.
Give your friend an opportunity to explain his side of the story. Listen attentively to understand his perspective and the challenges he's facing with his business. Empathize with his situation while also emphasizing the importance of fulfilling financial commitments.
Instead of dwelling on past grievances, shift the conversation toward finding a solution that works for both of you. Explore options such as renegotiating the repayment terms, setting up a payment plan, or considering alternative forms of compensation if he's unable to repay the full amount immediately.
Validate your friend's feelings and concerns about the situation, but also assert the impact his actions have had on you. Help him understand the importance of honoring agreements and maintaining trust in the relationship.
Clearly communicate your expectations moving forward. If you're unable to reach a resolution or if your friend continues to disregard the agreement, be prepared to set boundaries to protect yourself financially and emotionally. This might involve seeking legal advice or taking further action if necessary.
While it's important to address the financial issue, prioritize preserving the friendship if possible. Reassure your friend that your intention is not to harm the relationship but to find a mutually beneficial solution. Emphasize the value you place on your friendship and your desire to work through this challenge together.
Use this experience as an opportunity for personal and relational growth. Reflect on what you've learned about trust, communication, and financial boundaries in friendships. Apply these lessons to future interactions to prevent similar issues from arising.
Ultimately, finding a resolution to financial disputes within friendships requires patience, empathy, and effective communication. By approaching the situation with understanding and a willingness to collaborate, you can work toward a solution that honors both your financial needs and the integrity of your relationship.

Ans: Namaste Karthikeyan,

I understand the challenges you're facing, and I commend you for reaching out for help. In times of difficulty, it's important to remember that every setback is an opportunity for growth and learning. Let's explore how you can overcome this obstacle and create a brighter future for yourself and your family.

Firstly, it's crucial to adopt a positive mindset and believe in your ability to overcome this challenge. Remember, "Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve." This famous quote by Napoleon Hill highlights the power of positive thinking and determination in achieving our goals.

Now, let's focus on practical steps you can take to address your financial difficulties. Start by creating a clear plan to manage your finances more effectively. Track your expenses, identify areas where you can cut costs, and prioritize your spending to ensure your family's needs are met.

Next, explore opportunities to increase your income. Whether it's through additional work, freelancing, or starting a small business, there are always avenues to generate extra income. Remember, "Opportunities are all around us if we have the courage to seize them."

Additionally, consider seeking financial assistance or guidance from local government schemes, NGOs, or community organizations. Don't hesitate to reach out for support when needed. Remember, "Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle."

Lastly, stay committed to your goals and persevere through any challenges that come your way. With determination and resilience, you can overcome this temporary setback and emerge stronger than ever before. Remember, "The starting point of all achievement is desire."

In conclusion, Karthikeyan, I encourage you to stay positive, take proactive steps to improve your financial situation, and never lose sight of your dreams. With patience, perseverance, and a positive mindset, you can overcome any obstacle and create a better future for yourself and your family.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in