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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
KK Question by KK on Oct 14, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear ma’am, I really appreciate you helping the community getting mentally healthy.
I feel very complicated and sleepless. Please help.
I am 45, male. My whole life, as I remember, I have been taken advantage of -- by friends, parents, siblings.
I am sensitive, I have anger but I cannot talk back or stand up for myself and try to adjust, move on, simmer within, not to talk back to elders (or anybody).
If I talk back I get so much guilt, and maybe so continue to be taken advantage of.

I have had many soft abuse/humiliation/pressure episodes with friends/family that are stuck and stuck; but those don't happen since I am grown-up, plus people are no more around. I feel I got damaged that way.
But financially since the last 20 years -- relatives, friends, father, siblings have cheated me loaning money with false promises and they don't take care about their loan responsibility and live their sporty life. Here I feel like a beggar the whole time enquiring about getting my own stuck money back, getting false promises, false reasons, hundreds of those conversations, also sometimes making me feel guilty in reverse (what is your money urgency type?) to ask my own money back.
Those people are still around.
The total runs in many lakhs just principal and nominal interest also will run that much. I don't have energy deal those people, negativity, bad values that comes along. So last few years, I just kept mum, on surface smile (internally bad memories). But that is bu**sh**

Six months ago, I decided and started cutting off those people for good. I don't need negativity. I have enough savings. I felt relaxed that I at least mentally I took that hard decision.
But other side, it is so difficult as they are close people, family, friends -- I am bound to see them at family functions, my mom/wife/kids talk with some, they may call them home also etc.
I feel afraid and super angry to even see their face, and even if they hypothetically return money -- I don't feel like accepting it also; let them remain cut off from my life.

Plus I suffer from depression since 15 years (on/off medicines) that mom/kids don't know, wife cannot really empathize.
I just feel too weak.
Did I do the right thing to cut off people and stick to that decision in future? How to face them in life then?

Ans:

Dear KK,

The reason why people bend backwards to do things for people and have trouble saying NO is because they worry not being loved by others or getting their attention.

Maybe they also worry about being alone because others might reject them if a boundary is drawn.

So, find out why you have been allowing these people (family and friends) take advantage of you.

When will you find the strength to respect and value yourself?

Once you do, others will do that as well and not complain about you standing up for yourself. And there is no need to hold onto people by being nice to them by loaning money. Are they going to lie you for the money or for who you are?

Work with the person who has prescribed medicines for your depression on the deep-rooted cause for your poor self-esteem which makes you depend on others to make you feel good or feel anger when you see them.

Till you work on these, your connection with your family will be a struggle. So, help yourself first by taking care of your emotional health.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 12, 2020

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Relationship
I'm 62, quite active socially. My problem is this that the people who are stronger than me emotionally or physically or even weaker than me, I always agree with them or keep mum. But keep on cribbing inside. This is, because, I don't want to make them angry or lose them. I can't express my feelings or show my anger even if someone owe's me a big amount of money in millions of rupees (which is true). And always fear and keep on brooding, visualising them fighting with me and insulting me. I also visualise them refusing to pay my money back to me. I worked my whole life and earned and saved few millions in my lifetime. People knew that I have money and people started asking me for loan on one pretext or other. Some included me in their business without a legal paper work and asked me to invest money in their business by becoming their partner. They looted me with both hands and now are refusing to return my money. My fears came true. I have already suffered two major heart attacks and my health is deteriorating every day and has made me almost bedridden. Very less amount has been left with me which is insufficient for the survival of my family. I keep thinking, fearing and getting more sick. Kindly advise, how I can overcome this situation.
Ans: Dear AS, what you focus on grows bigger with time as your mind has been trained to magnify it beyond what it truly is. 

You constantly worried about what you would lose rather than what you have. And in the bargain, trying to please people so that wouldn’t lose them, you ended up getting cheated due your poor decisions.

Let bygones be bygones.

How about at this very moment as you are reading this, think exactly how you had managed to make those millions of rupees?

There is something wise in the way you managed your work/business/network to create that wealth, isn’t it?

So what is it?

Take out a diary and jot it down.

We have a lot of inner resources to bank on that we give ourselves credit for. And if you have done it once before, you truly know how to do this once more.

Just that, your health and loss of money are making you believe otherwise.

Start with:
1. Planning household expenses statement. Right now, only priorities will count. Anything extra will be out till you have disposable income on hand.
2. If you are planning to start something new, do that with the same confidence from the time you were financially abundant and. If you are employed some place, do what you would do with your skills in every project and enjoy the fruits of labour.
3. Take care of your health. Ask your doctor, what exercises can be done by you to keep your health well so that you can work happily

Do remember, nothing is worth worrying so much; your family loves you and want you around them for a long time.

So, look into their eyes and know that the stress that you are carrying around like a special baggage needs to be dropped down this very instant.

Take care and be happy always!

..Read more

Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2376 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Jun 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 11, 2025
Money
Hi, I am 33 yr old working in a private ltd company having a package of 13LPA. I have seen a very tough childhood with lot of financial pressure. Never indulged in any kind of luxury or hobbies. After getting job, tried to fulfill some dreams of my parents. Made some tours, bought an apartment and married my loved one. After that, suddenly both my parents got major medical issue. Heart attack and Cancer. I have made them cure completely and both of them now ok. After all that I had a debt of 40L in 2023 and I was puzzled, how to repay them. Then the worst thing happened, with social media influence I took some more loan and traded in F&O and lost another 15L. Now my total debt is 60L - 20L HL, 20L PL. 5L GL and 15L CC outstanding. I am the single bread earner for 5 persons. I am helpless. Please help me. I am a really dedicated employee and very hard working.
Ans: Let’s approach this in phases, like a strategy to reclaim your peace and your finances:

Phase 1: Stabilize and Stop the Bleeding
- Stop any further trading or taking on new loans — this may already be clear to you now, but your awareness and admission show that you’ve learned from it.
- Prioritize debts by urgency and interest rates:
- Credit card (15L) – likely highest interest, needs urgent attention.
- Gold loan (5L) – usually short-term, with moderate rates. Negotiate rollover if needed.
- Personal loan (20L) – medium-term priority.
- Home loan (20L) – lowest priority; keep EMIs running if possible.
- Talk to lenders now. Many offer restructuring under RBI guidelines:
- Convert CC or PL into longer-term loans with lower EMIs.
- Ask about moratorium or partial payments.
- Use the term "financial hardship due to medical emergency"—many lenders will respond better when it’s health-related.

Phase 2: Budget Like a Warrior
You earn ?13L per year (~?80K/month in hand post-tax & PF). The goal is to reduce EMIs to ~?40-45K/month if possible, leaving you enough to survive and breathe.
- Draft a no-frills survival budget—cut down discretionary expenses to zero for 12 months.
- Consider staying with extended family (if possible) to reduce rent or utility pressure.
- Free apps like Walnut or Cube Wealth can help you track and trim with precision.

Phase 3: Explore Boosters
- Secondary Income: With your skill set and dedication, explore freelance remote projects. Just 5–10K/month can be a massive psychological win and financial relief.
- Government Schemes: If your parents are now senior citizens, explore Ayushman Bharat or state-level health subsidies to avoid future shocks.

And finally—your mindset
This situation is brutal, yes. But temporary. You’ve survived the worst—health emergencies, emotional betrayal by social media influencers, and financial collapse. You’ve already paid the cost of those mistakes. You don’t owe them another ounce of your peace or self-worth.
You’re not the guy who failed with F&O trades.
You’re the guy who fought cancer and heart attacks and won.

..Read more

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Sir can you please rank IIIT Allahabad ECE , Gwalior EEE, Lucknow CSE+specialization, Jabalpur CSE and Kanchipuram CSE
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Recommendation: Prioritize IIIT Lucknow CSE for its exceptional 96% placement rate, highest average packages, comprehensive specialization options, and strong industry linkages; follow with IIIT Allahabad ECE for its prestigious NIRF ranking, established reputation, and solid core electronics foundation; consider IIITDM Jabalpur CSE for its unique design-manufacturing focus and international placement opportunities; opt for IIIT Gwalior EEE for its 100% PhD faculty strength and research excellence; and rank IIITDM Kancheepuram CSE last due to declining placement trends despite strong academic credentials and faculty qualifications. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Sir my sister has option to take admission in Greater noida institute of technology cse with data science branch or she could get iet sitapur ece or she could get admission in gl bajaj mathura cse or niet cs with cyber security what should she aim for according to future needs and job opportunities
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Sir,My son got B tech mechanical in iit tirupati and also btech cse in shiv nadar university chennai.Which one will be the best for his future?
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