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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 21, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Sir. I have a typical.problem here. I lend.money to one of.mynfriends for his bzness..I worked as a consultant for him. I made an agreement for the money given to him. Nevertheless he didn't return the money yet..I left him now some months back. Though I asked him to give bac money but he says he has lost lot in his bzness and also says he can't return the money. Sometimes indirectly he says that because of me he has landed in loss. I don't want to go.legally but it has been lot.ot.months that he has returned money. But now I can't wait. What should I do now..pls advise. Thanks

Ans: Navigating financial matters within friendships can be challenging, especially when agreements aren't upheld as expected.

Initiate an open and honest conversation with your friend about the loan. Express your concerns and feelings without blaming or accusing. Use "I" statements to convey how his actions have impacted you personally.
Give your friend an opportunity to explain his side of the story. Listen attentively to understand his perspective and the challenges he's facing with his business. Empathize with his situation while also emphasizing the importance of fulfilling financial commitments.
Instead of dwelling on past grievances, shift the conversation toward finding a solution that works for both of you. Explore options such as renegotiating the repayment terms, setting up a payment plan, or considering alternative forms of compensation if he's unable to repay the full amount immediately.
Validate your friend's feelings and concerns about the situation, but also assert the impact his actions have had on you. Help him understand the importance of honoring agreements and maintaining trust in the relationship.
Clearly communicate your expectations moving forward. If you're unable to reach a resolution or if your friend continues to disregard the agreement, be prepared to set boundaries to protect yourself financially and emotionally. This might involve seeking legal advice or taking further action if necessary.
While it's important to address the financial issue, prioritize preserving the friendship if possible. Reassure your friend that your intention is not to harm the relationship but to find a mutually beneficial solution. Emphasize the value you place on your friendship and your desire to work through this challenge together.
Use this experience as an opportunity for personal and relational growth. Reflect on what you've learned about trust, communication, and financial boundaries in friendships. Apply these lessons to future interactions to prevent similar issues from arising.
Ultimately, finding a resolution to financial disputes within friendships requires patience, empathy, and effective communication. By approaching the situation with understanding and a willingness to collaborate, you can work toward a solution that honors both your financial needs and the integrity of your relationship.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 21, 2023

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Relationship
Dear Khevna Shah I am in the business of my father's after his death with my uncle for the last 15 years and so and when my father died my age was 22 and I was a simple, shy and fear boy and was happy and i am doing the accounts job and i was not taking my salary on monthly basis or yearly basis means i want to say that i take 200 or 500 or sometimes 10000 to 20000 as per my requirement and sometimes i have to give it to my mom for her personal expenses. After two and half years, i was having problems with my uncle due to professional reasons and i was talking to him at that time and discussing all the problems and business related issues facing by me and he was listening but not responding to my problems during these years and after passing of two and half years i tried my best for talks, discussion but i was not getting any response from his end and after that period i stopped myself for any talks, discussion and sharing with him and I was prepared to left him and go elsewhere and do something new or do a job or start a new business on my own as we were are living in joint family and still we are in joint. Mam i did not left him and he provided me a new business and I became the proprietor of that new business and i didnot have any idea of that new business and when i engaged in that business i came to know that this business is all runs on liabilities for around three months to six months and depends on how you capture the market with low competitive rates and that time was new and i was not having any distributorship also and the business went on losses and i have beared losses for almost lakhs and lakhs of rupees. So, I closed the shop and again started doing account job in my father's business with my uncle as all the decisions related to business was taken by my uncle and same problem which i was facing in my early stage was repeated and the days were passing as it was passing previously. Now when corona came in the world, we were all lockdown in our homes and in that time we were all of our family members lockdown in our home. In that period we were all fighting with the corona that when will corona go and when we will go outside again and when will our normal life will start we were talking about our works of home should be divided. In that period all the works were divided and when lockdown was over and we were slowly slowly coming back to normal. Our joint family divided and now we are separate but our business is not separate and i am getting the salary fixed after our separation. Now the problem is that the salary fixed is not upto the mark and i am facing financial crisis at my end and our relation are so so and i am facing heated conversation with my wife related to money problems as i have to give her the money for household activities, personal expenses, my child school fees, admission fees and other activities related to school and i am very much exhausted with all the daily dose. So, therefore what will be my steps to go forward regarding the issues with my uncle and the problems which i am facing right now and have a peaceful time.
Ans: Dear Ashish,
Time and again you have been waiting for things to change in your favour. Your first sign was when your uncle's resistance at doing or thinking anything good for you.
Good nature of yours to trust him and still keep at it, but I guess now being in your 30s, should tell you that you need to make your life yourself and on your own terms.
Don't hang around thinking that the tides will change for you; instead change things the way you want by breaking free. Now. how you want to do it; is something that you need to discuss with your wife and decide. You have been far too dependent on this dream world that your uncle is going to make things happen and will be kind to you.
Be kind to yourself and now ask yourself:
- how can I revive my financial position on my own?
- what support do I need and from whom to achieve this?
- how can I keep myself motivated every day as I change things for the better?

The time has also come to have a clear chat with the person controlling the business. It gets messy when the family is divided and the business is still joint. Money troubles are never going to have clarity ever in this type of an arrangement. So, take matter into your own hands without fearing the outcome and think of only how you can have a better and peaceful life. The answer will be crystal clear to you.

All the best!
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi anu.morn. i m Sk. I have spoilt my relations with a lot of people bcoz i.owe them.money. they do not show it and i have got to know bcoz they want to be distant bcoz they think i will ask them.more money. They are right. I am.not using the money for some negative purpose but for education of my.child. in my.heart i would surely return the money shortly. I could not return the money bcoz i had no.job for a few monthd and now i m.stressed up bcoz i need to return.the money ASAP. This is giving me sleepless nights as the money is taken on interest. Plz help me with a solutiion.thanks
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This simply means you haven't been financially prudent!
And to top that, people do not trust you with their money? In the past, have you borrowed money and not returned it to people?
For the people that you need to return the money:
- Do remember, that the ones you have loaned you the money have done so, believing you fully.
- Do remember that these people also need their money for their use
- Do remember to communicate to them as to when you will return their money and keep that commitment
They do not know that you have good intentions in your heart to return the money. So, communicate that to them, so that they trust you and support you.

Money does in between people and spoils the dynamics of the relationship. So do not let this situation play out again the future. Seek the help of someone who can help you manage your monies well and advise you on investments as well. Make your money work work you.

All the best!
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2024

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Money
Hi I had taken the housing loan in 2008 for 20lakh and rent out the flat for 2 years, during this period my flat was not registered into my name, after 2 years I sold it to the 3rd party and he took the loan again on the same flat, the loan amount went to the builder account as it was not registered in my name, builder assured me to clear my dues after some time but till date the matter is still pending, he is absconding and my cibil is badly affected as I was not paying the EMI of my bank loan, my only fault was not to get the flat registered into my name, please advise me how to come out from this mess as bank is also sending notices to me. He has done the same fraud to many other investors.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Dealing with such a complex and unfortunate scenario can be challenging. Here are some steps you can take to address the issue:

Gather Documentation: Collect all relevant documents related to the housing loan, sale agreement, rental agreement, and any communication with the builder or bank. These documents will be crucial in understanding your legal standing and building your case.

Consult Legal Assistance: Seek advice from a lawyer specializing in real estate and property law. They can help assess your legal options and provide guidance on how to proceed. They may suggest legal actions such as filing a case against the builder for fraud or breach of contract.

Contact the Bank: Communicate with the bank to explain the situation and provide them with any relevant documentation. They may offer assistance or solutions to help resolve the issue, such as restructuring the loan or providing temporary relief until the matter is resolved.

File a Complaint: Consider filing a complaint with the appropriate authorities, such as the police or consumer court, against the builder for fraud or cheating. Provide all necessary evidence to support your claim.

Credit Repair: Work on repairing your credit score by diligently paying any outstanding dues and resolving the issue with the bank. You can also explore options for credit repair services or counseling to improve your creditworthiness.

Seek Financial Counseling: Consider seeking guidance from a financial counselor or advisor who can help you navigate through the financial implications of the situation and plan for your future financial stability.

Stay Persistent: Dealing with such matters may take time and patience. Stay persistent and proactive in pursuing a resolution to the issue.

Remember that every situation is unique, and it's essential to seek professional advice tailored to your specific circumstances. Keep records of all communication and transactions related to the matter to support your case effectively.
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Dr Vinod

Dr Vinod Kumar  |133 Answers  |Ask -

Kidney Health Specialist - Answered on Apr 28, 2024

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Health
Dear Sir, Below is the report of my wife CT SCAN CONTRAST My question is for KIDNEY damage that how much chances are there if kidney stone operation done successfully, means as of now kidney is works or not works. MSCT SCAN OF KUB MSCT imaging was performed using submillimeter thin contiguous axial scan of KUB with oral and I.V. contrast. Coronal and sagittal Reformatted images were obtained. FINDINGS/OBSERVATIONS: Right kidney and ureter: RK measures :72 x 36 mm 4 mm sized calculus (800 HU) is noted in lower calyx of right kidney. Rightkidney shows moderate hydronephrosis with dilated upper ureter with presence of 11.5 x 7 mm sized calculus (1400hu) approximately 3.6 cm distal to the right PUJ. There is seen multiple cortical scarring and thinning of parenchyma involving the right kidney. No renal mass or other lesions. N Left kidney and ureter: LK measures :107x50 mm. No calculi. No hydronephrosis or hydroureter. No renal mass or other lesions. No urothelial lesions: No filling defect, dilation, stricture or wall thickening. Urinary bladder: Well distended. No evidence of calculi or obvious mass lesion. On post-contrast study, both the kidneys shows normal post-contrast enhancement and simultaneous excretion. IMPRESSION: 1. Right kidney shows moderate hydronephrosis with dilated upper ureter with presence of 11.5 x 7 mm sized calculus (1400hu) approximately 3.6 cm distal to the right PUJ. 2. Multiple cortical scarring and thinning of parenchyma involving the right kidney.
Ans: Need to consult an Urologist.
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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello my name is yash I have completed by studies in bsc it I have done jobs of cashier and application support analyst during my studies. No my studies are over I find myself to fit in job as per requirement but I am not satisfied sometimes I feel I am not meant for this I have issues from office like work extra over over time. I want to ask is there everywhere over time of employees to be spend 10-12 hours in office. Secondly I feel that should work in environment where I can move and do work means field work in which I feel I am not bounded in short I want work life balance. I love to read books, I love to do on ground activities in back of my mind I have civil services plan in which I have a permission to work freely. But condition is that how can I do if office demands max hours of my life it's bit confusing for me
Ans: Your name is Yash =Success, but you are far from it because you are on the wrong path.

The education and job as per your statement now matches your profile ,but you are not satisfied because of your work time.. Understand your predicament!

Travelled by bus,train ...realised how many hour's they are driving for you.. When you sleep!?
Forget about being a soldier you cant qualify!

Looking for a cushy and comfortable job, you have just started young man.. Get your thought process right!

The Civil Service means Govt job and you think, once you get it, you can then ruminate!?
Not any more, everywhere there are deliverable's.

Now the balance for work & life balance comes when you have the income to treat yourself, let alone repay the debt of your parent's.

Nobody stops you to do what you love but after a good days work.. Man!?

There's nothing called freely work, all gods children have bosses ,except GOD !

So your confusion of work timings will end, when you have the determination to dedicate & deliver ...success!
Got it.. there's nothing that comes on a platter! Go get it before you are left behind.. Be the YASH!
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