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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
JG Question by JG on Sep 12, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Anu Madam
I have a brother, he is married, 38 years old and his is wife is 34.
Since 2 and half years they do not have any physical relationship but they have a 3-year-old child.
My brother is also suffering from depression and the cause is failing intimacy between his wife and him. He is not interested in her at all and now applied for divorce. But his wife for the sake of child wants to continue to remain married as child needs both parents for upbringing and refusing to give divorce. We also want to treat his depression for which he is not supportive. This is causing pain in the lives of all family members and his little child.
Please suggest what we can do for the wellbeing of all.

Ans: Dear JG,

How can you help someone who possibly doesn’t even realise that he needs help and that he needs it NOW?

Your intent to see him and his family is noble and out of care and concern. But if he is unwilling to recognise (possibly his mental state) that he needs professional help and that it will ease his situation and save his marriage, what is it that you can do?

For the sake of his wife and child, kindly ask an authoritative yet caring elder in the family to drive some sense into him.

Untreated mental condition isn’t a joyful experience for him or those around him.

Also, take him out on long walks in Nature. Nature is known to be very soothing and healing. Maybe it might help calm his nerves and he might seek help.

All the best!

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we had joint family almost 10 years back, we are two brothers ,mother ,father and 2 children to both brothers, I am elder brother, Problem started almost 5 years , My brother lost his temper and started heated argument and violence in family although he is introvert and hold negative thought since long back ,all family members tried to convince him to keep him positive but issue increased day by day reached to a level when father decided my family to protect and advise us to move out of joint family. afterwards also situation remains the same their and ultimately my parents also moved out of the house. We never had any communication around 2 years , but afterwards father had some critical health issue related to kidney and we informed them, Communication started with them again but father expired and again we have seen their violent face during rituals. We understand he having serious psychiatric issue but non of their family like his wife , Son is cooperating us for medication without his consensus as my brother never thought that he having any issue. I am very much worried that some day something wrong can happen as he is keeping very pity issues in mind and ready to fight always. He relation and neighbor's also he did the same and now no one is in talking terms with him.Please suggest how to handle ,is their any agency who can help us in sorting this issue. dont want to go in legal.
Ans: Hello Manish,
mental health issues can be complex, and professional guidance is crucial. Consult with mental health professionals to create a plan tailored to your family's specific situation. It's important to prioritize the safety and well-being of your family. If your brother's behavior becomes threatening or harmful, it may be necessary to maintain physical and emotional distance while encouraging him to seek help. Look for support groups or organizations that specialize in helping families dealing with mental health issues. They can provide guidance, resources, and a network of people who have faced similar challenges. Consider arranging a family intervention, facilitated by a mental health professional, where you can express your concerns about your brother's behavior and encourage him to seek help. It's important to approach this with empathy and understanding. while you mentioned that you don't want to go the legal route, in extreme cases, you may need to consider legal options like obtaining a court order for involuntary psychiatric evaluation. This should be considered as a last resort and only if your brother poses a serious threat to himself or others.

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Dear dr , my colleague is divorced 2 yrs back ,he is suffering from acute depression, his ex wife has not allowed her son to meet his father in last 2 yrs, as ex wife family is financial very strong they are not taking any monthly support from my colleague for his son.meanwhile son is 10 yr old and is brainwash that his father is not good ,so doesn't want to meet him. My colleague is getting more depressed and admitted for 1 month in hospital and got ECT therapy. Kindly guide ,what we can do so he xan meet his son once a week
Ans: dear Mohammad,
First, it might be helpful for your colleague to consult with a family lawyer who specializes in custody and visitation rights. Even if his ex-wife’s family is financially strong and not accepting support, your colleague likely still has legal rights to see his son. A lawyer can help him explore options like mediation or going back to court to request visitation rights. Since the child has been influenced against him, a court might consider a gradual reintroduction, possibly with the help of a therapist, to rebuild their relationship.

It could also be beneficial to involve a mental health professional who can provide guidance on how to handle this emotionally challenging situation. This professional can help your colleague manage his depression and support him in dealing with the stress related to his son.

As a friend or colleague, your support is invaluable. Encourage him to seek legal and psychological help and remind him that he’s not alone in this battle. Regular check-ins, even if just to listen, can make a big difference in his recovery.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 28, 2025
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My elder brother got married of his own choice past 12 years ago regardless the parents decision and lived by himself, he has two sons aged 10 and 5, after a recent scenario between him and his wife, they both are not into good terms since 8 months which is impacting on the kids and their upbringing. My brother is a field relationship manager in a real estate company and earning his bits, struggling with life and work. He has no financial and family support..as a younger brother I listen to all his struggle and troubles and advice him accordingly. All of these things are draining my mental and physical health . I myself struggling as a lawyer having my mom dad and grandmother with their health issues ..I am not able to make a firm decision on the scenario, should my brother and his wife get seperated? If yes please explain.
Ans: Your brother and his wife have been in conflict for eight months, and the tension is harming the children — that’s the most concerning part. You can offer support, but only they can decide whether this marriage still has life in it or if it’s better for everyone — especially the children — to grow in two calmer homes than one violent or unhappy one.

The only responsible way to move forward is to encourage them to seek professional help — through marriage counselling, family therapy, or at least structured mediation. If after that, they still can't communicate or co-parent peacefully, then separation may be the healthiest path, not just for them, but for the kids and for you.

You, on the other hand, need to draw a boundary. Listening doesn’t mean absorbing. Supporting doesn’t mean sacrificing your own well-being. You’re already managing aging parents, your own legal career, and life’s pressures — this is too much to bear alone. Let your brother know lovingly that you care, but he needs to begin taking decisive steps toward either mending or ending this — and get professional input.

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