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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
JG Question by JG on Sep 12, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Anu Madam
I have a brother, he is married, 38 years old and his is wife is 34.
Since 2 and half years they do not have any physical relationship but they have a 3-year-old child.
My brother is also suffering from depression and the cause is failing intimacy between his wife and him. He is not interested in her at all and now applied for divorce. But his wife for the sake of child wants to continue to remain married as child needs both parents for upbringing and refusing to give divorce. We also want to treat his depression for which he is not supportive. This is causing pain in the lives of all family members and his little child.
Please suggest what we can do for the wellbeing of all.

Ans: Dear JG,

How can you help someone who possibly doesn’t even realise that he needs help and that he needs it NOW?

Your intent to see him and his family is noble and out of care and concern. But if he is unwilling to recognise (possibly his mental state) that he needs professional help and that it will ease his situation and save his marriage, what is it that you can do?

For the sake of his wife and child, kindly ask an authoritative yet caring elder in the family to drive some sense into him.

Untreated mental condition isn’t a joyful experience for him or those around him.

Also, take him out on long walks in Nature. Nature is known to be very soothing and healing. Maybe it might help calm his nerves and he might seek help.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 09, 2023

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Hi Mam I need your expertly advise on this one below. I am gong to talk about my nephew ( my blood sister's son ) He is 31 YO and got married 1 n half years back. His father had a bipolar issue (who is no more now) He is a B.Tech in Comp Science currently unemployed. Now , the key issue is this boy is not physically intimate to his wife since marriage which we cud observe. Last November 2022 he lost his job also due to retrenchment. Since then he underwent depression and anxiety related disorders. So we sought a proper medical advise and under treatment since March 2023. After treatment and medication , his situation slightly improved. The Doctor ( Physichiatrist) who has been evaluating him, has recently told us that his wife is the reason for this trigger and after effects. Also explained us that " whenever he sees her wife around , his inability to perform or engage in family life strikes him and mental issues start. So on an experiment basis, Dr asked us to send his wife for a brief vacation of 10 days to her hometown and said tt his condition would greatly improve. As he foreseen, that is what has happened and Dr confirmed this in his latest review. Now He is asking us to convey this matter to his wife. We really don't know how to take this forward as the Girl would feel hurt and bad as same time His health is also equally important. P: S : 1.The Girl and their family is aware that He is undergoing treatment and she accompanied him in a few reviews too. 2. Dr suggested us to go for a 2nd opinion if we want . But the way he puts it, its clear that he is very much confident about his diagnosis. many thanks your expertly advise regards Mano
Ans: Dear Bonhoure,
We cannot control our environment but only choose how we respond to it. Life throws us curveballs all the time...do we run away from it or do we wish it away?
So, I do find it strange that the Psychiatrist you mention has actually concluded that the wife is the problem, so she should be sent away...
Why was a Couples' counseling session not scheduled? The matter could have been dealt with very intimately as she is also an affected party as is your nephew.
What if the whole thing was in reverse? Will your family be able to take it that he is being sent away as he is the problem? Would you not want him to have a chance to share his side of the story?

An expert needs to hear both sides and counsel or coach them as a unit as they are married...to simply wish someone away, is in my opinion a foolish thing to do as it will break their marriage. Since the doctor has suggested you to go for a second opinion, I suggest the same. Everybody deserves a chance at happiness, so does your nephew and his wife...even if what the doctor diagnosed is true, it is professionally correct to bring them together and work together with them It's highly possible that things might resolve itself this way...

Why separate people when there is a chance to keep them together? So, find solutions keeping the latter in mind rather than the former...

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |179 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 01, 2024

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we had joint family almost 10 years back, we are two brothers ,mother ,father and 2 children to both brothers, I am elder brother, Problem started almost 5 years , My brother lost his temper and started heated argument and violence in family although he is introvert and hold negative thought since long back ,all family members tried to convince him to keep him positive but issue increased day by day reached to a level when father decided my family to protect and advise us to move out of joint family. afterwards also situation remains the same their and ultimately my parents also moved out of the house. We never had any communication around 2 years , but afterwards father had some critical health issue related to kidney and we informed them, Communication started with them again but father expired and again we have seen their violent face during rituals. We understand he having serious psychiatric issue but non of their family like his wife , Son is cooperating us for medication without his consensus as my brother never thought that he having any issue. I am very much worried that some day something wrong can happen as he is keeping very pity issues in mind and ready to fight always. He relation and neighbor's also he did the same and now no one is in talking terms with him.Please suggest how to handle ,is their any agency who can help us in sorting this issue. dont want to go in legal.
Ans: Hello Manish,
mental health issues can be complex, and professional guidance is crucial. Consult with mental health professionals to create a plan tailored to your family's specific situation. It's important to prioritize the safety and well-being of your family. If your brother's behavior becomes threatening or harmful, it may be necessary to maintain physical and emotional distance while encouraging him to seek help. Look for support groups or organizations that specialize in helping families dealing with mental health issues. They can provide guidance, resources, and a network of people who have faced similar challenges. Consider arranging a family intervention, facilitated by a mental health professional, where you can express your concerns about your brother's behavior and encourage him to seek help. It's important to approach this with empathy and understanding. while you mentioned that you don't want to go the legal route, in extreme cases, you may need to consider legal options like obtaining a court order for involuntary psychiatric evaluation. This should be considered as a last resort and only if your brother poses a serious threat to himself or others.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 50 years old lady. I have youger sister about 40+ age. she is very negative thinker from younger age. I dont have mother and father. i have younger brother. my younger sister was in depression at time lock down then after treatment she become nornal therefore we decided to do marriage as she is along and nobody is there to take care of her as I am also having family. I and my family did marriage of her without inform her depression condition to groom. now her husband telling we are cheated to him. toubling us what to do...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Is your sister in a depressive phase yet again that her husband feels like he has been cheated? If she had fever after marriage, would he still have felt cheated by the fact that you didn't tell him about any fever before marriage?
Mental health issues are still not freely accepted in our part of the world as yet...given this, I am not surprised at the way your sister's husband and his family are behaving this way. The only way is to pacify them about it by giving them the facts as they are now.
Appeal to their wise side that it is possible to manage depressive phases and that the support of family is of utmost importance. Now winning this argument will depend on how forward thinking they are and whether they will be able to brush of the social stigma of depression. It's a nasty game but one that you all are already in...give it your best shot and talk about it openly at least now for your sister's sake. Hiding this has caused an unnecessary drama, so being frank is your only best option now...

All the best!

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Hi, my daughter is doing +2 (medical) in India. She want to become doctor. What are the options for her to become doctor in US? What she needs to study in US after her +2 (medical) in india?
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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

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Sir, I am 72 years old and want to invest Rs 15 lac in M.F, in swp.already invested 22 lac in MF .I am high risk taker . I want swp amount after one year. Please suggest M.F schemes . Thanks
Ans: Given your risk appetite and requirement for SWP after one year, it's crucial to focus on mutual fund schemes that offer potential for high returns while considering the relatively short investment horizon. Here are some suggestions:

Large & Midcap Funds: These funds invest in a mix of large-cap and mid-cap stocks, offering a balance between growth potential and stability. Look for schemes with a track record of consistent performance and experienced fund management.
Sectoral/Thematic Funds: If you have specific sectoral preferences and are willing to take higher risks, you can consider investing in sectoral or thematic funds. These funds focus on specific sectors or themes like technology, healthcare, or infrastructure, offering the potential for higher returns but also higher volatility.
Aggressive Hybrid Funds: Aggressive hybrid funds invest primarily in equities with a smaller allocation to debt instruments. They are suitable for investors seeking growth with relatively lower volatility compared to pure equity funds.
Flexi Cap Funds: These funds have the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations based on market conditions. They offer a dynamic approach to asset allocation and can adapt to changing market trends.
Mid & Small Cap Funds: If you have a higher risk tolerance and a longer investment horizon, mid and small-cap funds can potentially offer higher returns. However, they also come with higher volatility and risk, so careful selection and monitoring are essential.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2024Hindi
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I have been laid off by my company and I have a PF balance of around 22 lacs. I read we are allowed to withdraw 75% if we are laid off and being unemployed at least for a month. I am thinking if it is a good idea to withdraw this 75% and invest in diverse options like mutual funds, FDs or corporate bonds which give better interest? I see mutual fund options in many apps these days with some good performing funds giving 33% returns on 3-year average. So should I consider investing at least 50% of my PF corpus in that option and balance in others? Please advice.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about your job loss. With regards to your PF withdrawal, it's essential to carefully consider your options before making any decisions.

PF Withdrawal: Yes, you are eligible to withdraw up to 75% of your PF balance if you are unemployed for at least a month. However, withdrawing this amount means depleting your retirement savings, so it's crucial to evaluate the long-term implications.
Investment Options:
Mutual Funds: Mutual funds can offer potentially higher returns compared to traditional options like FDs. However, they also come with market risk, and past performance is not indicative of future results. Consider investing in a diversified portfolio of mutual funds across different asset classes and fund categories to mitigate risk.
FDs: FDs provide stable returns and capital protection but offer relatively lower returns compared to equity investments. They can be suitable for short to medium-term goals and for preserving capital.
Corporate Bonds: Corporate bonds can provide higher returns than FDs but carry credit risk associated with the issuer's ability to repay the debt. Investing in highly-rated corporate bonds or bond funds can offer a balance of risk and return.
Asset Allocation: Consider diversifying your investments across different asset classes to manage risk effectively. You may allocate a portion of your PF withdrawal to mutual funds for growth potential, while also keeping a portion in safer options like FDs or bonds for stability.
Financial Planning: Before making any investment decisions, I strongly recommend consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or a qualified financial advisor. They can assess your financial situation, understand your goals and risk tolerance, and provide personalized recommendations aligned with your needs and objectives.
Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund to cover your living expenses for at least 6-12 months in case of unexpected financial setbacks.
Overall, prioritize prudence and long-term financial stability when deciding how to utilize your PF corpus. It's essential to strike a balance between risk and return based on your financial goals and circumstances.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

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Hello sir, All our corpos mostly 90% is in debt(in the form of FDR's, SSSC, LIC etc) and rest 10% in MF and ULIP. I am 32 years and my mother is 61 years. I am working professional in tier 2 city and mother is retired from government job. I am seeking a financial advice to balance out the investments in debt and want some exposure in equity by investing through MF's. We have a total of 3 cr in debt and approx 40 lacs in equity market. Please suggest us the suitable mix so that our corpus would also grow and expenses would also meet out. Our total expenses per month would be around 35 K. Please also suggest the names of mutual funds to start investing?? Regards, Bharat Manik
Ans: Hello Bharat,

It's commendable that you're seeking to balance your investments and diversify into equity through mutual funds. Here's a tailored recommendation for you and your mother:

Balancing Debt and Equity:

Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an emergency fund equivalent to at least 6-12 months of expenses kept in liquid instruments like savings accounts or short-term debt funds.
Debt Investments: Since you already have a substantial portion of your corpus in debt instruments, continue to maintain this allocation to ensure stability and regular income. Consider diversifying across different types of debt instruments for optimal risk management.
Equity Investments: Given your age and long-term investment horizon, it's prudent to gradually increase your exposure to equity through mutual funds. Start with allocating a portion of your investable surplus to equity funds.
Suitable Mutual Funds:

Diversified Equity Funds: Look for well-managed diversified equity funds with a proven track record of consistent performance. These funds offer exposure to a broad range of stocks across sectors and market capitalizations.
Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds dynamically manage the equity-debt allocation based on market conditions, making them suitable for investors seeking a balanced approach.
Large Cap Funds: Consider large-cap equity funds for stability and lower volatility. These funds invest in large, established companies with a track record of stable earnings.
Hybrid Funds: Opt for hybrid funds, which invest in both equity and debt instruments, offering a balanced approach to risk and return.
For personalized recommendations and to ensure your investment strategy aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance, I recommend consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or a qualified financial advisor. They can provide customized guidance based on your unique circumstances and help you navigate the complexities of financial planning.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 05, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Sir/Madam I have invested in various equity funds of different AMCs. Can I get any app or some kind of reliable advisor who can track my investments and suggest switching from non performing funds to performing funds. My goal is just wealth multiplication and I am aware of market fluctuations. During Covid, remained invested in all my equity mutual funds. Kindly guide.... Thanks and Regards
Ans: For personalized advice and guidance on your mutual fund investments, I recommend consulting a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) who holds Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentials. MFDs with CFP qualifications can provide comprehensive financial planning services tailored to your specific goals, risk tolerance, and investment preferences.

Here are some benefits of working with an MFD with CFP credentials:

Holistic Financial Planning: A CFP-certified MFD can help you create a comprehensive financial plan that aligns with your long-term goals, including wealth multiplication through mutual fund investments.
Personalized Advice: They can offer personalized investment advice based on your individual financial situation, risk profile, and investment objectives.
Portfolio Review and Optimization: An MFD with CFP credentials can regularly review your mutual fund portfolio, identify underperforming funds, and recommend suitable switches to potentially better-performing funds.
Risk Management: They can assess your risk tolerance and recommend an investment strategy that balances risk and return to help you achieve your financial goals.
Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing: CFP-certified MFDs can provide ongoing monitoring of your investments and rebalance your portfolio as needed to ensure it remains aligned with your objectives.
By working with an MFD who is also a Certified Financial Planner, you can benefit from personalized, professional advice and guidance to make informed decisions about your mutual fund investments and overall financial plan.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1368 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 04, 2024

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Money
Hello Sir, I have the following Mutual Funds Investments, request you to let me know if these can be continued with or need to discontinue any of them, also please let me know new good performing funds to invest in. One time investment: (1) ICICI/ India Opportunities Fund - Growth - ?2,50,000, (2) ICICI/ Value Discovery Fund - Growth - ?2,50,000, (3) ICICI / Transporation & Logistics Fund - Growth - ?2,00,000. SIP Monthly: (4) Axis Flexi Cap Fund - Regular Plan - ?5,000, (5) Canara Robeco Emerging Equities - Regular Plan - ?5,000, (6) Aditya Birla SL Focused Equity Fund(G) - â‚15,000, (7) HDFC Mid-Cap Opportunities Fund(G) - ?5,000, (8) ICICI Pru Bluechip Fund(G) - ?5,000, (9) Axis Small Cap Fund - Regular Plan - ?5,000, (10) ICICI Prudential Technology Fund - Growth - ?5,000, (11) L&T Midcap Fund - HSBC Midcap Fund - ?5,000, (12) ICIPRU Multi-Asset Fund - Growth - ?5,000, (13) ICIPRU Value Discovery Fund - Growth - ?5,000. Thank You.
Ans: Based on your current Mutual Funds Investments, here are some recommendations:

Existing Investments:
ICICI India Opportunities Fund: Review the fund's performance and consider its alignment with your investment objectives. If it continues to meet your goals and performs well, you can consider keeping it.
ICICI Value Discovery Fund: Similar to the above, assess its performance and suitability. If it has delivered satisfactory results and fits your investment strategy, you may continue with it.
ICICI Transportation & Logistics Fund: Evaluate the fund's performance and prospects in the current market scenario. If you're confident in its future growth potential, you can maintain your investment.
New Fund Recommendations:
Consider diversifying your portfolio by adding funds from different categories such as large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap.
Look for funds with a consistent track record of performance, experienced fund managers, and a robust investment strategy aligned with your risk profile.
Conduct thorough research or seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner or Mutual Fund Distributor to identify suitable options based on your financial goals and risk tolerance.
Review and Adjustments:
Regularly review the performance of your existing investments and make adjustments as needed based on changes in market conditions, fund performance, and your financial goals.
Monitor the expense ratios, fund manager's track record, and the overall portfolio diversification to ensure optimal investment outcomes.
By carefully assessing your existing investments and making informed decisions about new fund allocations, you can build a well-balanced and diversified Mutual Funds portfolio that aligns with your long-term financial objectives.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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