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It looks likely that when you sent him your interest request, your feelings were from 2006. But hey, everyone has grown older and wiser since then.
Also, to expect him to have the same level of interest that you have, isn’t wise as he has led a different life to yours.
What happens is when we start our lives together when we are younger, we merge on a lot of ideals and thoughts.
When the same marriage/companionship/relationship happens when we are older, having had separate experiences and a different life, we might not have much in common in terms of thoughts and way of being in life.
Given that, have an honest chat with him face to face, and express what you want out of this connection.
Give him time to process his own life, his needs, his wants, his priorities and then get back to you.
If he is clearly not into this, no point waiting for him and tugging at your heart strings.
So the only way that I feel is to have a mature face to face talk where both of you have space to be assertive and communicate boldly. It will help both of you to decide what’s best.
All the best!
Ghosting of a high order.
Why exactly were you anticipating him to give you all the attention?
Why were you craving for validation from someone who you haven’t chatted or met with?
Why did you base so many emotions on a ‘connection’ that wasn’t one in the first place?
Dating apps are an ocean of people who have different needs to be met and distractions are heavy.
Every moment, the mind is seeking an association with a new person in the hope that he or she will be better than the previous one.
How did you expect him to feel the same way as you did at that very moment? Maybe it’s time to introspect what you learned during your sabbatical.
Did you pour enough self-love so that you wouldn’t wait for someone else to love you? If No, then time to step back and validate yourself for ONCE.
You must learn to look at yourself with a fresh pair of eyes, laud yourself and love yourself even more.
Fill yourself with so much care are love that the next time, you are on an APP, it’s for a very good reason and with a lot of confidence that you can hold your space and not get swayed by who is messaging or who isn’t!
Life offers you with so many opportunities to change from within; start right away and as far as this “Ghost Guy”, even if he is back, he will scout around for more greener pastures as far as an unsteady mind goes.
So you possibly might just be one of them. Investing so much time in all of this is straining.
Join groups that meet often and on a common theme and maybe you might find someone interesting and someone who has similar values and ideals as you.
Good luck to a new way of thinking and acting!
The nature of a virtual relationship can be the way that you have mentioned.
What is being shared virtually may not be reality and it is difficult to spot this.
Now that you know, isn’t it a lesson learned not to rely on anyone outside of you for your own happiness?
Did you have to study hard just so that you fit his choice of ‘successful’ women/girls?
Can you not work hard to live your dreams?
What you lack is self-love! Something that you didn’t focus on because you were working hard to prove how relevant you are in his life so that he chooses you.
Even if this relationship works, it will be his call always and other than strive hard to be in his life, there’s nothing that will grow in it.
Moreover, isn’t it a red flag when he revealed that he has been in a relationship for over a year?
Time to get back to yourself. Value yourself more, love yourself more…if you don’t, no one else will!
Start every morning doing these little things:
These are tried and tested methods to get you out of a low phase.
Again, love yourself more and yet again!
All the best!