Hi Anu;
I had an altercation with a friend which was followed by him apologising about the same.
The next day he stopped all communications completely.
However when we met a month later he was absolutely sweet as if nothing had happened.
At the same time he didn't keep much contact at all.
He is very nice and courteous on watsapp and at other times when ee meet in person looks through me as if I dont exists at all.
On phone whenever we have spoken with each other; he is absolutely charming.
It is obvious that he doesnt want to be in touch.
Let me add that there is no romance involved.
Why do people behave the way they do?
Hot one moment and cold the next? Its obvious he cannot stand me; but I wish he would stop playing games and be his normal self at all times.
Keeping watsapp conversations charming but not interacting face to face is pretty confusing for me since I am straightforward person.
Can you give your opinion regarding the same?
Frankly speaking I feel he is a drama king and thrives on it.
And honestly I dont really want to keep in touch but sometimes we do meet because of common friends.
Just thought of asking you about this. Do some people always like to play mind games?
Take care!
Ans: Dear Rajani,
Firstly let me put all your thoughts (assumptions) in one place. Assumptions are statements based on perceptions and not facts which sour connections and breaks relationships.
These have been picked from your question to me.
1. It is obvious that he doesn't want to be in touch
2. I wish he would stop playing games
3. I feel he is a drama king and thrives on it
This is your reading of the situations based on the way you have understood it. How much of this is true? Could it be your version of the truth?
Also, you have stated that you don't want to keep in touch; then why are you?
And if you really didn't want to, why is his playing games bothering you?
My suggestions:
1. Be clear if you want an association with him. If Yes, please clear out the air, so that there is no room for assumptions anymore.
2. Do understand that sometimes people are on eggshells after an altercation; he possibly is also carrying a lot of assumptions about you in his mind and that's why he's hot and cold alternatively.
3. Give the benefit of doubt to people; they might be going through something that you makes them behave in an odd way.
3. Drama King or not, there's a lot of unsaid discomfort between the two of you; do get into a non-judgemental space so even if the two of you don't patch up, it can be an amicable goodbye.
Steer away from assumptions and it makes room for either rebuilding a relationship or part ways on a good note.
All the best!
