Hi Anu , I am 40 old male. There is a 32 year single mother in my office who is going through a turmoil in her personal life. Our office has been graciously enough to help her in whatever way possible. At times, she started talking to me about her personal issues and problems which I heard from her thinking she might need to just vent out. Also she has asked me some financial help which I helped and she is repaying me. But the problem started she has started leaning on me professionally for everything which I dont mind since being a lead I have to help her, but now, she randomly pings and calls and talks about her inlaws and husband. At times, i feel that i cannot be talking all the time about her personal life and have to maintain a professional relationship. I dont know how to make her understand that even i have a personal life and i cannot help her all the time...She is a very good friend but i want to respect my boundaries.

Greetings, Anu. I am a 50-year-old married man in a relationship with a married woman 17 years my junior. She is exceptionally gorgeous and intelligent, and we were both colleagues until she changed jobs a few days ago. I had introduced her to my boss and my mentor, who work in a different organisation. After a while, I found she was constantly talking and discussing him with me, and my senoir was constantly inquiring about her whenever I went to meet him. I began to suspect, and one day I abruptly asked my partner what was up with her. She wasn't prepared for the query, and the first thing out of her mouth was the name of my senior, despite the fact that I had asked or said nothing about him. She tried to right herself and began explaining that she had received his texts complimenting her appearance and discussing her profession. I asked how often they exchanged messages, and she said once or twice a month. I begged her to desist from doing so in the future. But I tracked her and discovered that they were both online for over 14 to 18 hours every day, and their online times were almost identical to the extent of seconds, if not minutesAs she is a teacher, I asked for her weekly schedule so that I could contact her anytime she was available, which she provided. However, I discovered that both were online throughout her class hour. When I questioned her, she stated that her schedule had altered. I saw both of them online till the early hours of the morning from a different phone that had their numbers, and they had that number recorded in the other phone I was tracking them with. I started interrogating her directly one day and asked her how much time she spent chatting with him everyday, and she responded anywhere between 10 and 30 minutes, once or twice a week. I asked for her phone and discovered that all of her messages had been deleted. When I asked her what she talked about practically every day with him, she responded academics. I tried to ask her a few questions, and she gradually began to open up as she felt imprisoned after every other question she had replied. She admitted that my senior was speaking with her and that he frequently complimented her on her appearance and discussed a variety of other topics. She also argued with me about what was wrong with being online and conversing with someone. She stated that she thought my senior was a kind person. I asked her how she felt about him, and she avoided answering by chatting about unimportant stuff. I stopped communicating with her and responding to her texts. She didn't contact or text me on the first day, either, but on the third day, she began sending me love messages and beseeching me to respond. I persuaded myself into it, but she continued speaking with my senior all day and till past midnight, as I could see both online, even after she had blocked my number with another number I had taken from her good buddy. She attempted to persuade me, and I consented. I could tell that she maintained her friendship with my senior, and she frequently neglected to respond to my messages, even though she was spotted online long after I had sent them to her. I returned to her and we had a discussion about the same topic before I stopped talking to her. She did not message or phone me for two days, but on the third day she called and I had to pick up because something extremely important had to be discussed in another topicAfter that matter was discussed, I ended the call, and she began to send me love pictures and love messages again, as well as saying she wanted to talk to me and that I should not behave like this, at least with her. I agreed and dialled her number. She argued with me, accusing me of not believing her. I told her to keep away from my senior and that I shouldn't see her online with him anymore. She agreed, and I saw she wasn't online anymore, despite the fact that my senior was. This caused me to reconsider, and I discovered that she had applied for a new phone number and acquired a new phone two days prior. I asked her, and she refused, but the source from whom I learned was certain because my partner had asked her for a decent shop for mobiles as well as the network for the new phone. Madam , I had asked her several times what she talked about with him for hours every day, but she never answered, and now that she has a new phone, I know why....What should I do????

To start with I am in my early sixties . We have a large WhatsApp group of undergraduate college batchmates where sometimes news about batchmates / their families get posted . A married lady batchmate, located in one of the metro cities reached out to me over phone to offer her condolences / sympathies for loss of a family member that I had suffered . While I didn't personally know the lady , found the gesture empathetic & touching . So when the next physical batch meet took place I sought her out to thank her and we chatted for some time too ! Subsequently , we started being in touch , she mentioned that she found my gesture ( asking her to sit besides me to chat up very affectionate ) both through chat and calls and started sharing about each other , even personal matters . And now it seems that the relationship is moving in to a clear zone of intimacy ! And we talk pretty affectionately and frequently these days and it seems we make a good chatting pair . She is pretty attached to her grown up children and probably with a non intimate, dysfunctional, unsatisfactory marriage dragging on . She says her relationship in her marriage has totally failed right from beginning but she has not been able to do anything about that so far . It seems that the children are with the mother ! I find her balanced, affectionate and would like understand if something akin to a long term relationship /companionship would be possible . So have asked her to share about me, about our mutual feelings to her kids . Have also sounded her that if her husband gets to know about this relationship - it might lead to a family issue including formal break up of her marriage. And I am truly concerned about that . But she is very wishy wishy in her ideas about possible course of action , way forward .And I don't want her to get hurt or disappointed nor I want to be placed in a emotional drag. My questions are 1. Can this relationship go anywhere ? And if yes , what is the minimum expected from her ? 2. Can we be just be chatting friends ? Doesn't seem so as we talk & share as if we are a couple ? 3. What should we both do to avoid any possible emotional trauma to each of us ? (A still active and adorable senior citizen without strings and without a care in the world )