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Will I be homeless after my parents' separation?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Anu mam, I am 21 about to graduate this year. So I am a single child and I just got to know that my parents are planning to separate. They are both seeing different people but none of them have cared to sit down and discuss this with me. I am old enough to make decisions. But I feel betrayed by my own parents. I don't have siblings or cousins with whom I can discuss this. I mean, what happens to me after my parents separate? Where will I stay? What about home? Both my parents are travelling or working late so we hardly spend time together at home to have a conversation. I have suggested several times that I want to talk but there is no response from either of them. There is always some urgent work to attend, some family event coming up and this gets brushed aside. I feel like I am not even their child any more. They have both mentally moved on... and I feel betrayed, lonely. I don't know what to do. Can you help?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear that. It is never easy to understand when your parents are planning to separate and it leaves you with a lot of questions when left unanswered can lead to a very unsettled feeling.
Perhaps they are still wondering how to break the news to you. If they have been avoiding this topic, then it is evident that they are not ready to tell you or it's still in an awkward phase.
You are 21 and obviously there's no point hiding this from you anymore. Make a dinner plan outside of home where they will not be able to move about and cite urgent work etc. Mid-way through dinner, ask them...they may deny or one of them may walk out; but at least they know that you are aware and will want to talk about it eventually. The path to a conversation has opened then and then you can make a plan about how to go about it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2022

Relationship
Hi Anu, I am Mr R. Recently I came to read about the life situations many are facing and saw you are helping them. Am also in a situation like that. I am a single child to my parents.I had a fair childhood till I reached my 8th std. From that point (I don't know why and how) my father changed completely. He started quarrelling with my mom about small things and things worsened. I have seen my mom crying all day. I didn't know what to do at that time. I felt lonely, alone, frustrated.In my 11th grade, my father and mom decided to get separated. Father decided to sell our house but we had much debt in the bank as my mom had taken loans to build a new house. Later my father told her to sign in the divorce paper so that he could sell the house and give us the money to clear bank dues.He sold the house for a huge amount but gave us a small portion of it, which was not enough to clear the dues. Mom fainted in the government office when he told that he won't give us a single penny. In family court I have seen mom crying in front of the judge when he asked whether she wants to continue with my father or get divorced. She did not have an option, but to tell the court judge she wanted a divorce.From that day, I cared for my mom more than ever, more than my life. I couldn't even think of anyone telling me bad about my mom. We moved to a rented house and stayed in rented houses for about more than 15 years.My mom is 59 and will soon retire. She wants me to get married before her retirement. So I told her ok.Things change here.... This is my situation now and I need help.... I wrote about my past life above because I want Anu mam to know why am writing this mail to you....I was 28 when my mom wanted me to get married. But I was not ready for it. I wanted a girl who would love my mom more than I did. I wasn’t sure if a girl from a matrimonial site would be able to love my mom.However, one day my mom said she had found a good girl for me from a matrimony site and showed me the photo. She was from a rural area. We lived in the city. I asked my mom if will be a good match. She’d spoken to the girl’s family members and felt they were good. We decided to go and see the girl. When we went to her house, she was very polite and well behaved with my mom. I felt like I was about to start a new chapter in life. That it will be a good beginning. But it wasn't.Six months after marriage her attitude towards my mother was very rude sometimes. I felt bad but ignored. As days passed, she started debating with my mom for silly matters.1. The first quarrel was regarding the name of a fish. We bought some fish in home... My mom said this fish name is xxxx.... My wife told the fish name is xx and they started debating2. As am from Kerala, my mom had prayed that she will do my thulabharam if I get married before her retirement. In the temple my wife was meant to stand next to me during the ritual. However, when I searched for my wife she was standing far away. My heart broke. I began to worry if my life will also turn to be like my parents'.3. Two months after my marriage I heard that my father had committed suicide. I went to the temple to complete his last rites. As per the ritual, when I return home, my wife is supposed to prepare a sadhya (a full meal). But she fought with me for some silly matter and went to sleep without eating anything. She hadn’t cooked anything that day. My mother begged her to have food but she didn’t relent.She’d quarrel on all festive occasions be it Onam or Diwali. I didn’t tell anyone about it. When things get tense at home, she’d pretend to be ill and short of breath. One day I informed her brother. What he told shocked me. He told me to ignore her saying she must be pretending. I am worried that if something happens to her, I’d be blamed for it. With this fear, my mom and I are tolerating her.After 2 years of marriage, she became pregnant and gave birth to a baby girl. One day I saw my mom crying. When I asked her, she said that whenever my mother takes my baby in her hand my wife comes and grabs the baby away.One day I closely monitored the situation. I saw her grabbing my baby from my mother when my mom took her. I asked my wife, what's wrong and scolded her. The situation got worsened and she gave a silly answer.... She told me, she is worried about whether my baby will fall down from my mother's hand..... I informed her family and they gave her some advice and told her she need some doctor consulting regarding this.... While talking to their family I realised that she was like this before marriage as well.After the advice, for a few days, things were calm. Later, she started again. She'd stare at my mom whenever she'd give any advice.She is negative in all ways. Now her dad and mom have stopped calling me. Today while writing this e-mail she’d scolded my mom for recording my baby’s video saying my mom will send it to everyone. My baby was wearing a top and diaper nappy. When I asked her why she is behaving like this to mom, she said that my mom is not good to her. I cannot explain each and every quarrel but the reasons are quite silly. What should I do? After my father's issues, I thought my life after marriage will be good but it’s proving to be wrong.Waiting for an answer.
Ans:

Dear Mr R,

What exactly are you looking for as guidance from me?

That is something that you haven’t clearly stated.

Your narration of the story of your life gives me an understanding that you are at crossroads right now.

When at crossroads, ask yourself:

  • Where am I right now?
  • Am I stuck and unhappy?
  • How can I move forward from here?
  • What are the best alternatives that I haven’t tried before?
  • Have I done everything in the marriage to build it?

Clearly you and your wife see things differently and the only way is to sort this out if that’s what you want.

Coming from different backgrounds, there have possibly been a lot of adjustment issues for her.

Also, your closeness to your mother might have somewhat interfered in looking at your wife’s issues clearly and getting closer to her.

These are possibilities and since I do not know what you actually seek, I can only say: if you want to save your marriage, work on it with the help of your mother who as an elder can advise you appropriately.

It takes two people to build a relationship and it takes just one unrealistic expectation to bring that relationship down.

So, cast aside any expectation and approach this with a clear mind and a kind heart.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I'm 25 YO, I've completed my medical degree in BAMS recently and brother is 17YO still in school. I've seen very severe favouritism of my parents towards my brother. I know he's a boy and all and in India, being a boy makes all of your wrong doings right! It's very emotionally distressing for me that even I'm the older child, my parents asks and discuss things with my younger brother but not me :( since the time he was born, I've always been neglected, I used to be a star kid, the getting 10/10 marks in everything. But eventually my self esteem degraded, and I stopped working hard, they have always pointed me out for my looks and my behavior, which was very hurtful. I've been away from my family for 5 years and it literally changed me, I was not depressed anymore, although my self esteem also affected my academic performance and my relationship choices, but somewhat I was happy. But now I'm home, and again, my parents points out my mistakes, my academic that I didn't get MBBS, that I don't even look good, and I'm crazy, I don't even have brains. And my brother who didn't even score 50% is asked and being discussed over everything what to eat, where to go, what car to buy, what TV to buy etc. I feel so sad and stuck here. I feel like for my father and mother, I'm invisible. Everyday I feel like when this life will end. It's even harming my studies. All I do is day dream about being loved by someone. I just want to focus on me and my studies. But I'm not able to do it.What can I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If there's evident distinction in the way that your parents treat you and your brother, then it's pretty unfortunate.
One way is to actually talk to them about it and tell them how you feel, but I am unsure if this is going to work. The other way is to reassure yourself with your own self-love and be happy that you are academically strong. Use your degree wisely and to make a mark on your own by serving the society in your own way.
Someday, your parents may realize this and pay attention to you. But if you feel that things are going well for you emotionally, I suggest that you work with a professional who can guide you and your energies back into yourself without relying on anyone. This will help you tide over the hurt and the pain and move into a space of confidence.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8858 Answers  |Ask -

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I am getting ece in nsut, i would also get cse in iiits like guwahati, sri city, kancheepuram(dual degree) and iiit naya raipur (dsai). I was leaning towards cse because I have heard that even in ece, students go towards software roles only. Is my notion correct and should i go for ece with brand value of dtu, or cse in any of the iiits. Kindly answer
Ans: Shubham, NSUT’s Electronics & Communication Engineering benefits from NAAC A++ accreditation, a robust curriculum in VLSI, signal processing, and IoT, PhD-qualified faculty, and a dedicated placement cell recording an average package of ?15 LPA and a highest of ?45 LPA for ECE graduates. Despite its strong DTU-brand value and 320+ recruiters, many NSUT ECE students transition into software roles, reflecting the sector’s hiring trends. IIIT Guwahati’s CSE offers a focused programming and systems syllabus, achieving a 62% placement rate with an average package of ?15.26 LPA. IIIT Sri City’s CSE sees an 81% placement rate and a ?14.5 LPA average, while IIITDM Kancheepuram’s CSE registers 73% placements and a ?9.6 LPA average. IIIT Naya Raipur’s DSAI dual-degree reports a ?17.13 LPA average and 83+ offers from Deloitte, TCS and Capgemini. All institutes maintain modern labs, strong industry collaborations, and rigorous academic frameworks.

Recommendation: Pursue NSUT’s ECE to leverage its renowned DTU brand, superior ECE-specific labs and high average packages if you value institutional prestige and core curriculum depth; opt for CSE at IIIT Sri City or Guwahati for early software focus, competitive placement rates and specialized programming ecosystems aligned with your software-oriented career interests. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8858 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

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Hi sir ,my son got 9300 rank in kcet he is looking for option in ece in pes electronic City campus and dsce ece which is better
Ans: Swati Madam, With a KCET rank of 9300 in the General category, admission to Electronics & Communication Engineering (ECE) at PES Electronic City Campus is highly unlikely, as ECE cutoffs at PES Electronic City typically closed around 8391 for General Merit students in the final round of 2024. Similarly, DSCE ECE had a closing rank of 7793 for General Merit students in the final round of 2024, making admission challenging with your current rank. PES Ring Road Campus ECE closed at 3045 for General Merit in Round 4 of 2024, further confirming that PES campuses maintain competitive ECE cutoffs well below your rank.

However, excellent alternatives exist for ECE admission with your rank. Based on 2024 KCET cutoffs, you have assured admission prospects at: Sir M. Visveswaraya Institute of Technology (SMVIT) - ECE closing rank around 16,500-17,700; Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology - ECE closing rank around 8800-9300; Bangalore Institute of Technology - ECE closing rank around 10,712-11,806; JSS Science and Technology University - ECE closing rank around 5900-6100; Siddaganga Institute of Technology - ECE closing rank around 17,500-18,000; BMS Institute of Technology and Management - ECE closing rank around 11,000-12,000; and NIE Mysore - ECE closing rank around 8300-8500. All these institutes are AICTE-approved, NBA-accredited, feature modern ECE labs with signal processing, VLSI, and communication equipment, experienced faculty, and placement cells recording 75-85% consistency for ECE graduates over the last three years. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9751 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 29,unmarried with 80k salary. I hv 8 lakhs in real estate,4 lakhs in stocks,planning to invest 40-50k per month. No liability. One term life insurance of 1 cr. May you kindly suggest best possible how to invest for the next 10 years.
Ans: Your situation at age 29 is both strong and promising. With a stable job, no liabilities, and a willingness to invest ?40–50?k monthly, you have a solid base.

Below is an in-depth, structured plan covering all critical angles for the next 10 years.

? Current Financial Position
– Monthly salary is Rs?80,000 take home.
– No loans or liabilities.
– Real estate investment worth Rs?8 lakh.
– Stock holdings total Rs?4 lakh.
– Term insurance of Rs?1 crore.

You have protection and growth—already a strong starting point.

? Wealth Sources
Income
– Your monthly salary is consistent.
– You can direct 50–60% of it to investments.

Assets
– Real estate gives latent value, not monthly yield.
– Stocks bring growth, though fluctuating.
– No dependents now, but goals may change.

Protection
– Term cover ensures family security in emergencies.

? Savings Capacity & Planning
– You plan to invest Rs?40–50?k monthly.
– This is nearly 50–60% of your salary—ideal at this stage.
– But ensure you have liquidity for emergencies.
– Save Rs?3–4 lakh as a buffer in a liquid fund.
– Don’t allocate all savings only to long-term investments.

? Goal Definition
Begin by identifying your goals:

Short term (1–3 years)
– Emergency fund, skill development, travel or lifestyle.

Medium term (4–8 years)
– Marriage, major purchase (car), child planning.

Long term (9–15 years)
– Retirement corpus, child education, wealth growth.

Clear goals help you allocate wisely across timeframes.

? Building an Emergency Fund
– Target Rs?4 lakh as initial emergency corpus.
– Use liquid or ultra-short duration funds.
– This ensures you don’t break long-term investments.

Once achieved, you can increase SIP allocation.

? Asset Allocation Strategy
Divide savings into:

Pure equity

Equity–debt hybrid

Debt funds

Equity
– Choose flexi-cap and large-cap funds.
– Avoid index funds—they don’t offer downside protection.
– Actively managed funds adapt exposures during downturns.

Hybrid
– Multi-asset or balanced advantage funds cushion volatility.
– Good for medium-term goals and withdrawal access.

Debt
– Use short duration or ultra-short funds for predictable returns.
– Suitable for emergency fund and short-term goals.

? Monthly Investment Plan
Assume Rs?45,000 per month to invest.

Suggested split:

– Rs?25,000 into equities via SIP
– Rs?10,000 into hybrid funds
– Rs?10,000 into debt or liquid funds until corpus builds

Step up SIP by 10–15% annually. This combats inflation and builds corpus faster.

? Stocks vs Mutual Funds
You currently have Rs?4 lakh in stocks.

– Direct stocks require active monitoring and carry higher risk.
– Rebalance stocks periodically; consider reallocating part to funds.

Mutual funds offer diversification and professional management.
If you hold direct funds, prefer regular plans via a CFP?backed MFD.
They offer guidance and avoid panic-based exits.

? Mutual Fund Selection
Over 10 years, structure with 5–6 well-chosen funds:

– Flexi-cap equity (growth potential)
– Large-cap equity (stability)
– Multi-asset/hybrid (risk cushion)
– Thematic/sector funds? Avoid for core portfolio.

Key points:

– Choose active funds managed by credible teams.
– Regular plans via MFD help with tracking and rebalancing.
– Direct funds may appeal due to lower cost, but lack advice.
– Periodically re-evaluate fund performance.

If fund underperforms for 2 years, switch via systematic transfer.

? Reviewing Insurance and Protection
You already hold a Rs?1 crore term cover.
Consider the following:

– Does it align with future responsibilities?
– As life changes (marriage, children), cover must increase to Rs?2–3 crore.
– Add health insurance with floater sum of Rs?5 lakh or more.
– Top?ups are cost-effective and increase cover in later years.

Insurance acts as a foundation for wealth-building, not an investment.

? Tax Efficiency & Growth
In investments:

– Use growth option in equity funds, not IDCW.
– Growth option is tax-efficient; payouts trigger LTCG tax only on withdrawal.

Tax implications:

– LTCG above Rs?1.25 lakh in a year taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG taxed at 20%.
– Debt fund gains treated as regular income.

Smart withdrawals and long-term investments lower your tax.

? Liquidity Management
Maintain 6 months of living expenses as liquid buffer.
This protects you from job interruption or sudden emergencies.

Avoid locking all money into illiquid assets like real estate or ULIPs.

? Real Estate Role
Your Rs?8 lakh real estate investment can appreciate gradually.
But it does not contribute to income.
View it as long-term safety net, not core investment.

Focus income goal building via financial assets instead.

? Planning Life Changes
Your marital status may change within the next decade.

Post?marriage financial changes you should plan:

– Joint investment goals
– Bigger insurance cover
– Child planning budgets
– Potential change in income and liabilities

Start preparing financial clarity now. This smooths the transition.

? Review and Tracking
Set periodic review cycles:

– Every six months evaluate your portfolio
– Check if asset allocation stays balanced
– Review SIP performance, risk philosophy, and asset mix
– Make small tweaks rather than big shifts

Regular review prevents drift and improves alignment.

? Why Not Index Funds
You should avoid index funds until retirement phase.

Reasons:

– They don't adjust allocation during market declines
– They just mirror the market—no active risk management
– In a 10-year horizon, equities will fluctuate
– Active funds can reduce downside via fund manager actions

Let actively managed funds guide your journey.

? Avoid Annuities and Insurance Savings
Many new investors consider annuities for safety.
But:

– They offer lower returns
– They lock up funds and reduce flexibility
– You have no income need yet, so better to stay liquid
– Income can be managed via SWP later in life

Focus on growing your corpus now, not locking into annuities.

? Risk Management Over 10 Years
You have high early saving potential. Smart risk control is key.

– Keep emergency fund liquid
– Avoid overexposure to single stocks or sectors
– Stay diversified across asset classes
– Use hybrid funds to balance volatility
– Regularly rebalance asset mix every year

This way you catch up to goals without excessive risk.

? Building Financial Freedom in 10 Years
Goal: Comfortable corpus or monthly income in 10 years.

For example:

– Monthly SIP plus step-ups
– Rental income continues
– Savings in debt/hybrid grow
– Corpus may reach Rs?2.5–3 crore
– This can generate inflation-adjusted income via SWP

With discipline, you set a path for either financial freedom or goal achievement.

? Child Planning and Long-Term Wealth
Even though unmarried now, planning marriage and children will come.

– Start a small separate SIP for future child.
– Choose conservative hybrid funds.
– Don’t treat this as emergency or retirement fund.

Separate tracking gives clarity and prevents misuse.

? Occasional Lifestyle Spending
You deserve leisure and social time at home.

– Dedicate Rs?5,000 to Rs?10,000 per month for social/leisure spending.
– This ensures enjoyment without derailing savings.
– Keep this as a mini “fun” fund.

Balancing lifestyle and savings is key to sustainable discipline.

? Considering Extra Income Streams
Freelancers like you can add passive income layers.

– Upskill in high-demand areas.
– Offer online coaching or consulting.
– Create digital products like e?books, courses.
– Rent part of your real estate space if unused.

Extra income can accelerate your investment goals.

? Final Insights
– Your foundational planning is excellent.
– Now, expand into diversified mutual funds.
– Build emergency and life event funds.
– Reallocate insurance savings from old policies into growth assets.
– Use actively managed funds via CFP-backed regular plans.
– Avoid index funds till later stage.
– Increment SIPs yearly.
– Plan step-wise for marriage, kids, retirement.
– Monitor, track, rebalance semi-annually.

With these steps, you can craft a financially secure life over the next decade and beyond.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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