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Will I be homeless after my parents' separation?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Anu mam, I am 21 about to graduate this year. So I am a single child and I just got to know that my parents are planning to separate. They are both seeing different people but none of them have cared to sit down and discuss this with me. I am old enough to make decisions. But I feel betrayed by my own parents. I don't have siblings or cousins with whom I can discuss this. I mean, what happens to me after my parents separate? Where will I stay? What about home? Both my parents are travelling or working late so we hardly spend time together at home to have a conversation. I have suggested several times that I want to talk but there is no response from either of them. There is always some urgent work to attend, some family event coming up and this gets brushed aside. I feel like I am not even their child any more. They have both mentally moved on... and I feel betrayed, lonely. I don't know what to do. Can you help?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear that. It is never easy to understand when your parents are planning to separate and it leaves you with a lot of questions when left unanswered can lead to a very unsettled feeling.
Perhaps they are still wondering how to break the news to you. If they have been avoiding this topic, then it is evident that they are not ready to tell you or it's still in an awkward phase.
You are 21 and obviously there's no point hiding this from you anymore. Make a dinner plan outside of home where they will not be able to move about and cite urgent work etc. Mid-way through dinner, ask them...they may deny or one of them may walk out; but at least they know that you are aware and will want to talk about it eventually. The path to a conversation has opened then and then you can make a plan about how to go about it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2022

Relationship
Hi Anu, I am Mr R. Recently I came to read about the life situations many are facing and saw you are helping them. Am also in a situation like that. I am a single child to my parents.I had a fair childhood till I reached my 8th std. From that point (I don't know why and how) my father changed completely. He started quarrelling with my mom about small things and things worsened. I have seen my mom crying all day. I didn't know what to do at that time. I felt lonely, alone, frustrated.In my 11th grade, my father and mom decided to get separated. Father decided to sell our house but we had much debt in the bank as my mom had taken loans to build a new house. Later my father told her to sign in the divorce paper so that he could sell the house and give us the money to clear bank dues.He sold the house for a huge amount but gave us a small portion of it, which was not enough to clear the dues. Mom fainted in the government office when he told that he won't give us a single penny. In family court I have seen mom crying in front of the judge when he asked whether she wants to continue with my father or get divorced. She did not have an option, but to tell the court judge she wanted a divorce.From that day, I cared for my mom more than ever, more than my life. I couldn't even think of anyone telling me bad about my mom. We moved to a rented house and stayed in rented houses for about more than 15 years.My mom is 59 and will soon retire. She wants me to get married before her retirement. So I told her ok.Things change here.... This is my situation now and I need help.... I wrote about my past life above because I want Anu mam to know why am writing this mail to you....I was 28 when my mom wanted me to get married. But I was not ready for it. I wanted a girl who would love my mom more than I did. I wasn’t sure if a girl from a matrimonial site would be able to love my mom.However, one day my mom said she had found a good girl for me from a matrimony site and showed me the photo. She was from a rural area. We lived in the city. I asked my mom if will be a good match. She’d spoken to the girl’s family members and felt they were good. We decided to go and see the girl. When we went to her house, she was very polite and well behaved with my mom. I felt like I was about to start a new chapter in life. That it will be a good beginning. But it wasn't.Six months after marriage her attitude towards my mother was very rude sometimes. I felt bad but ignored. As days passed, she started debating with my mom for silly matters.1. The first quarrel was regarding the name of a fish. We bought some fish in home... My mom said this fish name is xxxx.... My wife told the fish name is xx and they started debating2. As am from Kerala, my mom had prayed that she will do my thulabharam if I get married before her retirement. In the temple my wife was meant to stand next to me during the ritual. However, when I searched for my wife she was standing far away. My heart broke. I began to worry if my life will also turn to be like my parents'.3. Two months after my marriage I heard that my father had committed suicide. I went to the temple to complete his last rites. As per the ritual, when I return home, my wife is supposed to prepare a sadhya (a full meal). But she fought with me for some silly matter and went to sleep without eating anything. She hadn’t cooked anything that day. My mother begged her to have food but she didn’t relent.She’d quarrel on all festive occasions be it Onam or Diwali. I didn’t tell anyone about it. When things get tense at home, she’d pretend to be ill and short of breath. One day I informed her brother. What he told shocked me. He told me to ignore her saying she must be pretending. I am worried that if something happens to her, I’d be blamed for it. With this fear, my mom and I are tolerating her.After 2 years of marriage, she became pregnant and gave birth to a baby girl. One day I saw my mom crying. When I asked her, she said that whenever my mother takes my baby in her hand my wife comes and grabs the baby away.One day I closely monitored the situation. I saw her grabbing my baby from my mother when my mom took her. I asked my wife, what's wrong and scolded her. The situation got worsened and she gave a silly answer.... She told me, she is worried about whether my baby will fall down from my mother's hand..... I informed her family and they gave her some advice and told her she need some doctor consulting regarding this.... While talking to their family I realised that she was like this before marriage as well.After the advice, for a few days, things were calm. Later, she started again. She'd stare at my mom whenever she'd give any advice.She is negative in all ways. Now her dad and mom have stopped calling me. Today while writing this e-mail she’d scolded my mom for recording my baby’s video saying my mom will send it to everyone. My baby was wearing a top and diaper nappy. When I asked her why she is behaving like this to mom, she said that my mom is not good to her. I cannot explain each and every quarrel but the reasons are quite silly. What should I do? After my father's issues, I thought my life after marriage will be good but it’s proving to be wrong.Waiting for an answer.
Ans:

Dear Mr R,

What exactly are you looking for as guidance from me?

That is something that you haven’t clearly stated.

Your narration of the story of your life gives me an understanding that you are at crossroads right now.

When at crossroads, ask yourself:

  • Where am I right now?
  • Am I stuck and unhappy?
  • How can I move forward from here?
  • What are the best alternatives that I haven’t tried before?
  • Have I done everything in the marriage to build it?

Clearly you and your wife see things differently and the only way is to sort this out if that’s what you want.

Coming from different backgrounds, there have possibly been a lot of adjustment issues for her.

Also, your closeness to your mother might have somewhat interfered in looking at your wife’s issues clearly and getting closer to her.

These are possibilities and since I do not know what you actually seek, I can only say: if you want to save your marriage, work on it with the help of your mother who as an elder can advise you appropriately.

It takes two people to build a relationship and it takes just one unrealistic expectation to bring that relationship down.

So, cast aside any expectation and approach this with a clear mind and a kind heart.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I'm 25 YO, I've completed my medical degree in BAMS recently and brother is 17YO still in school. I've seen very severe favouritism of my parents towards my brother. I know he's a boy and all and in India, being a boy makes all of your wrong doings right! It's very emotionally distressing for me that even I'm the older child, my parents asks and discuss things with my younger brother but not me :( since the time he was born, I've always been neglected, I used to be a star kid, the getting 10/10 marks in everything. But eventually my self esteem degraded, and I stopped working hard, they have always pointed me out for my looks and my behavior, which was very hurtful. I've been away from my family for 5 years and it literally changed me, I was not depressed anymore, although my self esteem also affected my academic performance and my relationship choices, but somewhat I was happy. But now I'm home, and again, my parents points out my mistakes, my academic that I didn't get MBBS, that I don't even look good, and I'm crazy, I don't even have brains. And my brother who didn't even score 50% is asked and being discussed over everything what to eat, where to go, what car to buy, what TV to buy etc. I feel so sad and stuck here. I feel like for my father and mother, I'm invisible. Everyday I feel like when this life will end. It's even harming my studies. All I do is day dream about being loved by someone. I just want to focus on me and my studies. But I'm not able to do it.What can I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If there's evident distinction in the way that your parents treat you and your brother, then it's pretty unfortunate.
One way is to actually talk to them about it and tell them how you feel, but I am unsure if this is going to work. The other way is to reassure yourself with your own self-love and be happy that you are academically strong. Use your degree wisely and to make a mark on your own by serving the society in your own way.
Someday, your parents may realize this and pay attention to you. But if you feel that things are going well for you emotionally, I suggest that you work with a professional who can guide you and your energies back into yourself without relying on anyone. This will help you tide over the hurt and the pain and move into a space of confidence.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8611 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 30, 2025

Money
Dear experts, Is CGAS account mandatory to open even if the entire amount realized during selling of a land is reinvested into buying a new residential home before the ITR filing date of the financial year in which the land was sold? Can a normal fixed deposit be done, given that the home will be purchsed before the ITR due date, or the amount kept in the savings account only in which it was originally received? When CGAS account is really needed? And if the land is inherited, is fair market value (FMV) certificate mandatory during tax filing? Warm Regards.
Ans: Capital Gains and CGAS can confuse many. You’ve clearly understood key parts already. That’s a good start. Let’s look into the entire situation, part by part.

We will explore the rules, your options, and how to avoid mistakes. This will give you a complete 360-degree clarity from tax, legal and compliance angles.

 
 
1. When Capital Gains Account Scheme (CGAS) Becomes Mandatory

CGAS is not needed in all cases.
 
 

You must deposit in CGAS only if home purchase is delayed.
 
 

If you reinvest before ITR due date, CGAS is not compulsory.
 
 

You can reinvest directly in the new house.
 
 

Keep proofs of payments, builder receipts and registry.
 
 

This is allowed even if amount is not kept in CGAS.
 
 

Fixed Deposit or savings account is fine in such case.
 
 

But all reinvestment should happen before the ITR due date.
 
 

If even part of it remains, then CGAS is mandatory for balance.
 
 

So, CGAS is only a backup rule, not the first step.
 
 
2. Can Fixed Deposit or Savings Account Be Used Instead?

Yes, if you use the full sale amount in time.
 
 

There is no restriction to keep the sale money in a bank FD.
 
 

Even savings account can be used till reinvestment.
 
 

But do not mix that account with other funds.
 
 

It should be clearly seen that the money was from land sale.
 
 

Keep trail of cheque/RTGS and amount received in bank.
 
 

Use the same account for property payment preferably.
 
 

Attach documents to your tax file as proof of usage.
 
 

So, a separate CGAS account is not required if home is bought on time.
 
 
3. Real Timing for CGAS Requirement

Let’s say land is sold in FY 2024–25.
 
 

ITR filing due date is 31st July 2025 (for most individuals).
 
 

If you do not reinvest before 31st July 2025, then CGAS is needed.
 
 

You must deposit remaining capital gains before that date.
 
 

Otherwise, the capital gain becomes taxable.
 
 

After that, you can buy the home within two years.
 
 

Or construct the home within three years.
 
 

But tax exemption applies only if CGAS rules are followed.
 
 

So, CGAS gives you extra time, but with some process to follow.
 
 
4. What Happens If You Don’t Open CGAS?

If no reinvestment is done and no CGAS is opened,
 
 

Then you lose the exemption under the capital gains rules.
 
 

The gain will be treated as long-term capital gain.
 
 

You will need to pay tax on it.
 
 

Keeping money in FD or savings account won’t save tax after deadline.
 
 

Tax will be calculated as per rules and payable with interest.
 
 

So, if you're not ready to reinvest, then open CGAS on time.
 
 
5. For Inherited Land – Is Fair Market Value (FMV) Mandatory?

Yes, FMV is required for inherited property.
 
 

FMV as on 1st April 2001 must be calculated.
 
 

This becomes your cost of acquisition.
 
 

Without FMV, your gain will look artificially high.
 
 

That will lead to more tax than needed.
 
 

FMV must be from a registered valuer.
 
 

Use this valuation during capital gain working.
 
 

Keep valuation certificate with your documents.
 
 

It is not submitted with return, but can be asked later.
 
 

So yes, FMV certificate is very important in your case.
 
 
6. Points to Remember for Reinvestment and Tax Filing

Always try to reinvest before the ITR filing due date.
 
 

Keep documents ready – sale deed, purchase deed, payment proof.
 
 

Mention exemption under the correct capital gains section in ITR.
 
 

File ITR with details of both sale and new purchase.
 
 

If any delay is there, deposit in CGAS before 31st July.
 
 

Open CGAS with a scheduled bank only.
 
 

Withdraw money from CGAS only for house purchase or construction.
 
 

Do not withdraw for other purposes. That makes it taxable.
 
 

Proper filing avoids notices and problems later.
 
 
7. Should You Do CGAS Deposit Early Just in Case?

If you're unsure about home purchase date, CGAS is a safe backup.
 
 

You can withdraw later for the purchase purpose.
 
 

But if you're confident about timing, no need to open CGAS.
 
 

Avoid unnecessary paperwork if not required.
 
 

So, CGAS is useful, but not needed if timing is right.
 
 
8. Role of a Certified Financial Planner in Such Cases

Tax planning around property needs correct steps.
 
 

A Certified Financial Planner helps track timelines and rules.
 
 

You get full support for investment, taxation, compliance and reinvestment.
 
 

A CFP can also coordinate with CA or legal expert.
 
 

They also help with ITR and property documentation.
 
 

It removes the guesswork and avoids last-minute issues.
 
 

Guided help gives better peace of mind.
 
 
Finally

You are handling a serious matter with clarity and awareness. That’s a strong foundation. You do not need to open a CGAS account if the home is fully bought before the ITR due date. You can keep money in your savings account or fixed deposit during this time. Just make sure the home is purchased and payment is completed before the filing date.

If not, deposit balance gains in CGAS to save tax. FMV is also required for inherited land. Get a certified valuer’s report. Use this in capital gain computation. This avoids tax mistakes.

Stick to timelines. Keep clear records. Plan your reinvestment wisely. Work with a Certified Financial Planner if needed for execution and follow-through.

 
 

Best Regards,
 
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
 
Chief Financial Planner,
 
www.holisticinvestment.in
 
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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