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Should I Break Up With My Girlfriend For Drinking With Her Colleagues & Dancing With Others?

Ravi Mittal |536 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 21, 2025

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2025Hindi

I & my Girlfriend (both Aged 25), often Drink Socially. We both have an Understanding between us, that neither of us, would Drink with anyone else or at any Social Event, wherein both of us are not present together. We both agreed mutually, that we must only Drink together, either just by ourselves or at any Social Events, which both of us are attending together. This Unwritten Rule extends even to Get-togethers, with our Respective Families, Friends & Colleagues (including Office Parties), as we both may not always be together in all such Events. But Recently, I'd found out that my Girlfriend has breached our Agreement. She was attending an Office Party at a Night-Club, along with her Colleagues & there she got excessively drunk (upon her Colleagues' insistence) & Danced with them, rather wildly. I saw the video of her Drinking & Dancing with her Colleagues (including some Male Colleagues)... on one of her Colleague's Instagram. When I confronted her, she started crying that it was her Colleagues who insisted her to Drink beyond her usual limits & she was not completely in her Senses. She vaguely remembers Dancing with some of her Colleagues but has no Recollection of what happened later that night. Apparently she had crashed at a Colleague's Apartment along with some others & woke up late, the next Morning, to see most of her Colleagues, who'd Partied along with her, Knocked out & sleeping all over the Apartment, Male & Female Colleagues, together on the same Bed & Couch (she doesn't Remember anything that happened during the Night). I was deeply Disturbed by what she'd done & also by what else might have Happened that Night, which I am unaware of. I wanted to Break-up with her, then & there, but she kept Crying & Pleading me to Forgive her. Now it has become very Difficult for me to Trust her again. Whether her Behaviour counts as Cheating or not? Whether I'd be Justified in Break-ing up with her, over this incident? Or am I Being Unreasonable, due to Over-Thinking? Please give me some advice on how to proceed with this.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it is very difficult to deal with situations that do not offer clarity or closure. First of all, you are doing great. You did not rush to any conclusion or decision. Kudos to that. Give her some time to remember. I know it was wrong of her to break a mutual arrangement, and worse, she put herself in a risky situation. Whether this counts as cheating or not depends on your personal boundaries- there really isn't just one definition for it. The real issue here is whether you will be able to move on from this event and trust her, without this causing repeated conflicts in your relationship. If that is also concerning you, then breaking up is justified.
However, if you think you care for her still and believe that she regrets the choices she made, you can rethink about giving the relationship another chance. After all, there is no proof that she has done anything else other than breaking a promise (which is not trivial either). But before making any decision, have an open discussion about trust and how to rebuild it in your relationship.

Hope these help